Results 1,171 to 1,200 of 1480
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2012-08-01, 08:54 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2010
- Location
- Gridania, Eorzea
- Gender
Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG
Fixed that for ya
3054a. As a player or DM if my character/NPC/monster is less than 1/4 anything due to the number of Half-whatevers, it is instantly percived as an abomination and will be hunted down and killed as such.
3055. As a wizard, am not allowed to create abominations and claim that they are creative "flesh golems"
3056. In fact I'm no longer allowed to play half anything.
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2012-08-02, 02:47 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2011
- Gender
Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG
3057: No, Sam, you can't name your elf Legolas. And no, your elf can't be a fighter with a bow. Ever. Actually, none of your elves can have bows.
3058: No, your elf can't be named Elrond, either. Actually, you can't play elves at all anymore. Or half elves."And I don't care if the tea leaves spell out 'Die, Ron, die', I'm just pitching them in the bin where they belong"
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2012-08-12, 10:33 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2012
- Location
- Those Meadows of Heaven
Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG
3059. I am not allowed to ask what "Core" means.
3060. I can't join a game where the shtick is "Core only", then ask if I can use 12 different sources.
3060a. I can't do the above, then use 12 different sources anyway.
3061. Book of Vile Darkness/Exalted Deeds do not count as core just because they are mentioned in the DMG.
3062. Pathfinder is not "the other 3.5".
3063. CoC is not "the other Pathifnder".
3064. 4e is not "the other CoC".
3065. I cannot convince all the players in my party to create male human barbarians all named Spartacus.
3066. I cannot make something up ridiculously overpowered, then convince the DM that it was from an anonymous homebrew I found on the internet.
3067. I cannot make a male goblin multiclass fighter/rogue/cleric/barbarian/paladin/monk/wizard/sorcerer/bard/ranger/druid named Senor Vorpal Kickasso.
3068. I can't get Weapon Proficiency (Furniture).
3069. Not being able to rhyme or wink is not a valid character flaw.
3070. I am not allowed to be a half stone golem.
3071. I am no longer allowed to read Goblins.
3072. I can't encourage friends new to DnD to be Elven Barbarians or Half-Orc Wizards.
3073. I can't make the Sphinx's Riddle "How do magnets work?".
3073a. or Are you smarter than a fifth grader?
3073b. or Doctor Who?
3073c. or How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
3073d. or Is the answer no?
3074. I can't make riddles anymore.
3075. If I make NPCs walking around but forgot to actually have them do anything, I can't make them say "Patrolling the Mojave almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter."
3075a. "I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I took an arrow to the knee."
3075b. "We won't go quietly, Legion can count on that."
3075c. "Ave true to Caeser."
3075d. "Come to Mick and Ralph's for all your shopping needs!"
3076. I can't take off all my clothes and try to use "Sexiness" as a weapon.
3076a. Especially if my character is female.
3076b. Especially if my character is a female nymph.
3076c. Especially if my character is a female troll.
3077. "Too sexy for my shirt" is not a valid character flaw.
3077a. Even if my character is female and has 18 charisma.
3077aa. Even if it is literal.
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2012-08-12, 11:00 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2011
- Location
- Where I want to be
- Gender
Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG
Great, punning minds think alike!
3078: The existence of Awakened animals does not imply the existence of Obeyer or Taker animals.
3079: Grappling hooks do not give an actual bonus on grapple checks.
3080: I may not take levels in Dashing Swordsman, especially if my character is a kobold.
3081: Craft (Love) is not a skill.When in doubt, use cute little dragons.
Game and roleplaying stuff.
The data is 1's and 0's. Life is the jazz. (Previous avatars)
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2012-08-13, 12:10 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2009
- Location
- Seattle
- Gender
Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG
3082: I am no longer allowed to use Time Stop to assemble world-ending supercritical quantities of transuranic isotopes. Even though it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Last edited by rewinn; 2012-08-13 at 12:10 AM.
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2012-08-13, 02:37 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Location
- Middle-o'-Nowhere, Idaho
- Gender
Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG
3083: Weapon Proficiency (Enemies) is not a real feat.
3084: Dual-wielding enemies is right out.
3085: No matter how good a bluff check I roll, the merchant will not believe that the dead parrot is anything but.I run a Let's Play channel! Check it out!
Complete: Oblivion, Enderal, Fallout (1997), Fallout 2
Current: Fallout 3, Morrowind
Upcoming: Borderlands, Skyrim
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2012-08-13, 08:21 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2007
- Location
- Wisconsin
- Gender
Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG
Rule of Cool Contributor and Goon
Goblin Cannon Crew avatar by Vrythas.
My Homebrew
The Gunslinger's Handbook
Archetype Combo List!
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2012-08-13, 09:39 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2012
- Location
- Hotel California
- Gender
Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG
3089) I am not to write my own players manual.
Spoiler
No I did not make my own banner, it was created by a very talented person who I've lost contact with.
I just started playing D&D, and love the game
SpoilerFirst level paladin.
STR:14
DEX: 8
CON: 10
INT:13
WIS: 12
CHA: 16
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2012-08-14, 01:16 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
- Location
- Cloud 9
- Gender
Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG
3090: My mallet-wielding druid cannot summon moles.
3091: My halfling does not gain any benefits from eating mushrooms, no matter how rockin' his mustache is.
3092: My paladins cannot all be stereotypical stoners.
3093: My warforged cannot have names entirely in binary.
3093a: ESPECIALLY if the name turns out to be 'Dave'. Every time.
3094: Witty one-liners have to actually be one line. I am not allowed to explain every nuance of it mid-battle to my nemesis.
3094a: ESPECIALLY if we're playing CoC and I tell the DM that this requires a SAN check.
3095: Puns can only do physical damage if they actually give the DM a migraine.
3096: I'm not allowed to give the DM any more migraines.D&D is the only game I can think of (with the possible exception of Calvinball) where the only way to lose is by playing to win.
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2012-08-14, 04:46 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2008
- Location
- UK
- Gender
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2012-08-14, 04:41 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
- Location
- Where ever trouble brews
- Gender
Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG
3098: I do not own, nor am I permitted to own, a Banana Guided Autonomous Monkey Device, or BaGAMD.
This especially includes any time I have a primate for an animal companion or familiar or cohort or any other time one of my characters has access to a monkey and/or bananas.Last edited by Karoht; 2012-08-14 at 04:43 PM.
~~Courage is not the lack of fear~~
"In soviet dungeon, aboleth farms you!"
"Please consult your DM before administering Steve brand Aboleth Mucus.
Ask your DM if Aboleth Mucus is right for you.
Side effects include coughing, sneezing, and other flu like symptoms, cancer, breathing water like a fish, loss of dignity, loss of balance, loss of bowel and bladder control."
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2012-08-14, 11:07 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2011
- Location
- I don't even know anymore
- Gender
Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG
Avatar by whatever Zjoot became.
Will take suggested phrases in sig. PM with ideas
Am I missed in my absence?
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2012-08-14, 11:51 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2012
- Location
- Hotel California
- Gender
Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG
3099) Fighting the DM for power is wrong.
Spoiler
No I did not make my own banner, it was created by a very talented person who I've lost contact with.
I just started playing D&D, and love the game
SpoilerFirst level paladin.
STR:14
DEX: 8
CON: 10
INT:13
WIS: 12
CHA: 16
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2012-08-15, 02:18 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2011
- Location
- Chaos
- Gender
Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG
3100: The Trapfinding ability does not grant an automatic spot check to notice a man disguised as a woman.
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2012-08-16, 10:46 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2012
- Location
- Asgard
- Gender
Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG
3101: As Dungeon Master, I am not allowed to base my loot off of the magic item creation page in the Dungeon Master's guide; Giving my party magic items with the power of lesser artifacts.
3102: If we are entering a dungeon where the primary enemy is undead, I cannot make a cleric with a charisma of 4.
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2012-08-16, 11:02 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2012
- Location
- Lordran
- Gender
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2012-08-16, 12:32 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2011
- Location
- Where I want to be
- Gender
Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG
3104: My rouge cannot be overpowdered.
3105: Control Water is not the solution to everything.
3106: I do not have weapon proficiency with chess pieces.
3107: I may not have Snuggles as my animal companion no matter how high my druid level is.When in doubt, use cute little dragons.
Game and roleplaying stuff.
The data is 1's and 0's. Life is the jazz. (Previous avatars)
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2012-08-26, 11:05 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2012
- Location
- Enhasa
- Gender
Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG
3108: My Favored Soul/Risen Martyr cannot be named "Bryan."
3108a: Nor can he be named "Bwyan."
3109: I may not make a divine spellcaster who worships themselves as their Patron Deity.
3110: Meteor Swarm does not deal bonus damage against dinosaurs.
3110a: Neither does Melf's Minute Meteors.
3111: I am not allowed to play as an amnesiac changeling with Multiple Personality Disorder.
3112: After rescuing the princess, I cannot simply ransom her myself.
3112a: Especially if I'm playing as a paladin.
3113: A paladin's "special mount" ability gives you a magical animal suitable for riding, and cannot be misconstrued in any way.
3114: If the DM says that 2+2=5, there can be no dissagreement on that matter.
3115: When the DM asks how my Warlock gets his Invocations, my response cannot be "by being awesome."78% of DM's started their first campaign in a tavern. If you're one of the 22% that didn't, copy and paste this into your signature.
I started my first campaign on a spelljamming vessel disguised to look like a terrestrial zeppelin.
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2012-09-13, 03:37 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2012
- Location
- Eberron, Michigan
- Gender
Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG
3116: I am not allowed to "Summon Bigger Fish"
3117: I am not allowed to seduce the Cleric
3118: I am not allowed to seduce the enemy
3119: I am not allowed to seduce anyone for any reason.
3120: I am not allowed to have an angry badger on a stick as a weapon
3121: I am not allowed to but a bee hive in a bag and use it as a grenade
3122: I cannot, under any circumstance, make a "The Princess Bride" joke, under penalty of physical pain
3123: The above applies for Monty Python as well
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2012-09-13, 05:14 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2011
- Location
- Where I want to be
- Gender
Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG
...Uh, that's not quite right.
3225: In a modern setting, my half-elf character may not drive a hybrid.
3226: Player/character separation is not a flaw I can take.
3227: My ranger's favoured enemy cannot be "the rest of the party".When in doubt, use cute little dragons.
Game and roleplaying stuff.
The data is 1's and 0's. Life is the jazz. (Previous avatars)
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2012-09-16, 02:51 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
- Location
- Cloud 9
- Gender
Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG
3108: My Favored Soul/Risen Martyr cannot be named "Bryan."
3108a: Nor can he be named "Bwyan."
3228: Dropping squirrels from orbit is not an instant kill against whoever they hit.
3228a: Doing the same with dragons is, though.
3229: The DM doesn't care if I get every epic level mage in a hundred-mile radius to add spellcraft checks to the ritual OR how many Gods owe me favors; I can't use the Epic Spell 'rocks fall, everyone dies'.
3230: I can cast 'Nailed to the sky', but only during daylight hours.
3230a: If I somehow subvert this rule, and there is a full moon out, I cannot cast it while shouting 'I BANISH YOU TO THE MOOOOOOOOON'.
3231: If we're on the elemental plane of fire, suggesting we solve all our problems with 'MORE FIRE' does not get me a bonus to diplomacy checks vs. the inhabitants.
3231a: It'll make everyone and their brother unfailingly hostile on the elemental plane of WATER, though.
3232: 'I only memorized it once' is not a valid excuse for not saving the party with a spell that could easily target everyone.
3232a: ESPECIALLY not 'Water Breathing'.
3233: Even a cleric/druid of the storm god can't summon lightning strikes underground.
3234: I cannot subvert the above by convincing the Transmuter to create a spell that turns the dungeon roof into copper.
3234a: Random holes above our heads to the surface are fair game.
3235: Do not poke the gelatinous cubes while giggling like a simp!D&D is the only game I can think of (with the possible exception of Calvinball) where the only way to lose is by playing to win.
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2012-09-27, 05:26 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2012
Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG
3236: I am not allowed to put "Bestow Curse" or "Mark of Justice" on party membrs to ensure their loyalty.
3236a: I may not go through my fellow Wizard party members' spellbooks and tear out any pages displaying the spells "Dispel Magic", "Remove Curse", "Break Enchantment"...you get the idea...so that when I put the aforementioned spells on them, they can't do anything about it.
3236b: I am especially not allowed to tell them none of this, and replace their torn-out and/or erased pages with pages that look similar enough but in fact contain some cleverly hidden errors, so they won't try to remove my contigencies in case they betray me.
3236c: No, I may not instead put Arcane Marks on their spell component pouches (or the Clerics' Holy Symbol) , so I can cast Drawmij's Instant Summons on it if they get uppity.
3236d: ...and no, it isn't their fault for not getting eschew materials, like a smart player.
3236e: Yes, this even applies when the players have a history of backstabbing their friends.“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds;
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2012-10-13, 07:28 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2007
- Location
- Finland
- Gender
Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG
Things that I wish to inflict upon my gaming group:
3237. I will not try to hijack, capture or commandeer every damn vehicle that comes my way.
3238. A magic missile will never, ever be Nyan cat.
3239. Sex will not be roleplayed.
3239b. Especially paid sex.
3239c. ...with the team member who used to be a temple prostitute.
3239d. ...and who is a man.
3240. A level 1 character attacking an adult dragon will die by s*itting his pants in fear.
3241. Dire rats do not drop loot.
3241b. Not even when you perform an autopsy.IN MEMORIAM 1983-2013. Bot as necessary.
Avatar courtesy of Elder Tsofu
Halforums.com - For the love of God, don't ask about the steak.
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2012-10-13, 08:42 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2011
- Location
- Where I want to be
- Gender
Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG
3242: Any character concept that is the set-up for an awful pun is automatically rejected.
3243: There is no such thing as bone-eating dire half-dragon saltwater werepiranhas.
3244: I may not take the Weapon Focus feat with brooms, cabbages, or ridiculous French accents.Last edited by PurityIcekiller; 2012-10-13 at 08:43 PM.
When in doubt, use cute little dragons.
Game and roleplaying stuff.
The data is 1's and 0's. Life is the jazz. (Previous avatars)
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2012-10-28, 09:25 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
- Location
- Annapolis, Maryland
- Gender
Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG
3245: I will not try to convince my dm to make dragons from dragon cave,
3246: or dragons based on Yoshi's small ball,
3247: or dragons based on pokemon.
3248: I cannot play an eleven-stalt (like gestalt but gets every class in phb).
3249: I will not name my character "James Bond."
3250: All of my characters cannot have the same backstory. Especially if they are in the same campaign.
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2012-10-29, 08:06 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2007
- Location
- Wisconsin
- Gender
Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG
Rule of Cool Contributor and Goon
Goblin Cannon Crew avatar by Vrythas.
My Homebrew
The Gunslinger's Handbook
Archetype Combo List!
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2012-11-13, 02:59 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2012
- Gender
Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG
3251: My Rapier Wit is not a piercing weapon. (It's a Slashing)
Alexander leah and Kymme deserves much love and appreciation.
Avatar History
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2012-11-14, 11:25 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2007
- Location
- A cozy burrow
- Gender
Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG
3252: I may not name any of my weapons "Vera."
3253: I may not trade any of my weapons for a concubine.
3253: My character may not dance under any circumstances, as that would cause all the other characters to instantly go insane.My commiepuppy was a gift from BRC
Timeless Error stole all the things that I could possibly be mistaken for. *happy dances*
I made my avatar. If you want to see other stuff I made, click here.
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2012-11-14, 11:42 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2011
- Location
- I don't even know anymore
- Gender
Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG
3254: My rogue may not take Craft(fishbowls) for the sole purpose of transporting Gary the Mystical Rainbow Trout, a pandimensional, omniscient, hyperintelligent, evil, immortal, invincible fish.
3254a: Mounted Combat cannot be taken at first level in hopes that the DM will let me ride Gary into battle. Especially as a rogue.
3254b: Gary may not be a British stereotype with a monacle and top hat.
3254c: Gary will not evolve into Garydos at level 20.
3255: Mage Hand cannot perform "surgery" on kobolds.
3256: Summon Pure Water can not and will not be used for nefarious purposes.
3257: My character cannot be called Scoliosis because he has no background
3258: The half-elf bard and half-orc barbarian cannot be blood relatives.
3259: A lizardfolk wizard cannot be an animal familiar.
3259a: Stanley the Honeybadger, however, is a-ok.
3259b: Honey badgers will take what they want, and may not care at all.Avatar by whatever Zjoot became.
Will take suggested phrases in sig. PM with ideas
Am I missed in my absence?
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2012-11-15, 02:58 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2011
- Location
- Where I want to be
- Gender
Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG
3260: Regardless of what the rules say, I cannot dig my way out of a volcano with my bare hands.
3261: My wizard's familiar must be a normal cat, not an Exceed.
3262: The Kleptomaniac flaw is forever off-limits to me.
3263: I may not make a neutral-aligned character just to test for Helms of Opposite Alignment.When in doubt, use cute little dragons.
Game and roleplaying stuff.
The data is 1's and 0's. Life is the jazz. (Previous avatars)