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  1. - Top - End - #181
    Ghost in the Playground
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    521. When told to create a character, I am to remember that there are other books for classes than Tome of Battle. When told to choose a deity, I will not flip through the Cthulhu Mythos or anything similar.

    522. I will not attempt to bring down the Spire in any D&D game, even if I have worked out the calculations and plans down to the last tenth of a percent.

    523. When told I can play any race, I will not reach immediately for anything Lovecraftian or any manual with deity rules.

    524. Descriptions of obese male characters' outfits will not start and/or end with the phrase "You are familiar with the women in the magazine Heavy Metal?" or the phrase "Stiletto heels, nothing else."

    525. The Doctor from Doctor Who is not a Son of Aether, nor am I allowed to create a version of him as such.

    526. And if I do so and the GM kills him, he dies, he does not "regenerate".

    527. The Orbital Strike is not authorized for use on my fellow operatives, even if I "think they're all suspicious".

    528. The above will always stand, even in Mage.

    529. There is no such thing as a "Literate Zen Buddhist barbarian."

    530. GURPS comes with a 40-point disadvantage limit for a reason and you will NOT go over this.

    531. I will understand that I am not to shout "WRYYYYYYYYYYYY!" every time I feed or embrace in Vampire.

    532. While the .44 Magnum may "Blow the head clean off a guy", it is not an acceptable weapon to use while hunting vampires.

    533. The Gun Bunny is no longer allowed to read the possibly explosive runes.

    534. There is no "Vow of Violence"

    535. There is no "Vow of Material Wealth"

    536. "Riverdance" is not a martial art.

    537. "Bullet to the Face" can be, but only in Feng Shui.



    Not all gold, but hopefully some good ones.

  2. - Top - End - #182
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Mr. Moon's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    538: My characters must not all be offensively homosexual pansy-men who can shoot rainbows.
    <<
    True story.
    Last edited by Mr. Moon; 2010-07-24 at 12:33 AM.
    "You tied your wings on tightly but they always come undone"
    ~ ClumsyMonkey, Montreal
    Beautiful red panda avatar by Eldar Tsufo!

  3. - Top - End - #183
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    539: I am not on a boat.
    540: Nor am I the boss.
    541: I will not, under any circumstances, "cut a hole in a box".
    542: I am no longer allowed to use psionics. At all.
    Delightfully abrasive in more ways than one
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    Quote Originally Posted by RabbitHoleLost View Post
    Mango:you sick, twisted bastard <3
    Quote Originally Posted by Gryffon View Post
    I think Krade is protesting the use of the word mad in in the phrase mad scientist as it promotes ambiguity. Are they angry? Are they crazy? Some of both? Not to mention, it also often connotates some degree of evilness. In the future we should be more careful to use proper classification.

    Mango is a dastardly irate unhinged scientist, for realz.

    Pirate Mongoose by Kwark_Pudding

  4. - Top - End - #184
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    Trobby's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    543) No longer allowed to make obvious jokes when the DM's PC pokes the elf with a wand.
    544) ABSOLUTELY not allowed to make jokes about this, even ones that are implied.
    545) No longer allowed to even discuss rule 543. This rule is the only exception.
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    Quote Originally Posted by PhoeKun View Post
    ...How does one cuddle mercilessly?
    Quote Originally Posted by Coidzor View Post
    Curse your Introbulosity!

  5. - Top - End - #185
    Troll in the Playground
     
    mangosta71's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    546) Hydrophobia is not an appropriate flaw for an aquatic elf.
    547) Nobody is impressed by my "sea cucumber familiar". Especially not if I cast Magic Mouth on it.
    548) I will not cast Grease on dance floors.
    549) I will not play a caster.
    550) Nymphomania is not an acceptable flaw. We will never discuss this again.
    551) The priestess of Pelor will not, under any circumstances, agree to raise an army of nubile undead to "service" the soldiers on the eve of battle. Nobody cares how big a morale bonus they would get.
    552) I will not throw diamond dust at vampires.
    553) My D&D character does not know "Another One Bites the Dust". It is especially inappropriate when a PC falls in combat.
    Delightfully abrasive in more ways than one
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    Quote Originally Posted by RabbitHoleLost View Post
    Mango:you sick, twisted bastard <3
    Quote Originally Posted by Gryffon View Post
    I think Krade is protesting the use of the word mad in in the phrase mad scientist as it promotes ambiguity. Are they angry? Are they crazy? Some of both? Not to mention, it also often connotates some degree of evilness. In the future we should be more careful to use proper classification.

    Mango is a dastardly irate unhinged scientist, for realz.

    Pirate Mongoose by Kwark_Pudding

  6. - Top - End - #186
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    Case's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    554) No, I am not allowed to play a woman named Lola, who was a show girl, with feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there.
    Currently playing:

    DnD: A 5th level Warlock named Vigo (He's from Carpathia.)

    Star Wars: A 7th level Anomid Jedi Consular who after having to kill his padawan (who got better) for turning to the dark side, left the order and became a bar bouncer on a small world in the middle of nowhere.

    D20 Modern: A 3rd level Smart hero, 2nd level Field Scientist who is a partical physicist, and for some reason the best shot in the party, beating out two navy seals and two police officers.

  7. - Top - End - #187
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Cealocanth's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    555) I am not allowed to play an Umber Hulk gifted by Pelor with +10 intelligence and strength. (with psychic powers)

  8. - Top - End - #188
    Ghost in the Playground
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    556. You cannot use Intimidate to convince people they cannot see you. It does not work as a hide check.
    557. "Prunes, Celerity, Bend Over, Repeat" is not a battle strategy in WOD
    558. I am not a "tall handsome man in a dusty black coat with a red right hand"
    559. In fact, if Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds sang it, it is no longer part of my character description.
    560. Nor am I allowed to use Electric Six lyrics as lines of dialogue.
    561. I will not play male characters until I can make one that isn't a)creepy, b)working against the party, or c) homicidal.
    562. My caster will not use anything from the Book of Blue Magick/Nymphology
    563. No, we do not care if you can justify practical application for it.
    Last edited by GaiusCaligula; 2010-07-29 at 12:29 PM.

  9. - Top - End - #189
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    564: I am no longer allowed to play CG or NG folk heroes.
    565: I can not play as a favored soul of gruumsh who just happens to be a gnome.
    Last edited by RE:Insanity; 2010-07-30 at 06:43 AM.

  10. - Top - End - #190
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Trobby's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    566) There is a bonus cap of 50 on any skill that I can have.
    567) Jumping on my enemies until I receive a 1-up is not an effective way to revive a party member.
    568) It is not funny to do it the second time.
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    Quote Originally Posted by PhoeKun View Post
    ...How does one cuddle mercilessly?
    Quote Originally Posted by Coidzor View Post
    Curse your Introbulosity!

  11. - Top - End - #191
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    The_Final_Stand's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    569) Interrupting transformation sequences to see what happens is verboten.
    I Wanna Be the Guy Kid avatar by Ceika. Many thanks.

    If I win, I get to be a king. If I lose, then I get to be a legend.

  12. - Top - End - #192
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Cealocanth's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    (570) It is virtually impossible to roll 18s for stats all across the board.

  13. - Top - End - #193
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Trobby's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    571) It is literally impossible to roll 20s for stats all across the board.
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    Quote Originally Posted by PhoeKun View Post
    ...How does one cuddle mercilessly?
    Quote Originally Posted by Coidzor View Post
    Curse your Introbulosity!

  14. - Top - End - #194
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    Internet Flea's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    572) The complete destruction of the kingdom does not count as "acceptable losses".
    573) The Party does not count as "acceptable losses". Even if someone will survive. Especially if it's me.
    574) Not allowed to implement a plan that involves "acceptable losses".
    575) Or "collateral damage".
    Last edited by Internet Flea; 2010-08-02 at 02:08 AM.

  15. - Top - End - #195
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    576) i am not allowed to make an untrained craft(totally amazing rock song)check

  16. - Top - End - #196
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Emperor Ing's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    577) I will not Wish to become Pun-Pun
    YES!!!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blackbird97
    Good, I like the quote for you do indeed frighten people beyond words.
    I make avatars. Want one? Yes, i'm accepting requests ATM.

    Furious, Mad, Evoker ITP
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  17. - Top - End - #197
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    fizzybobnewt's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    Quote Originally Posted by Dust View Post
    94) There is no creature known as the Fantastipotamus, nor am I allowed to create one for the explicit purpose of using it as a projectile weapon.

    95) 'When in doubt, ask a hobo,' is not a generally-accepted method of information gathering.

    96) Plutonium is not considered to be one of the core elements.

    97) 'I'm meta-gaming,' is not a valid explanation for my actions.
    there is now a Fantastipotamus. Search for it on Spore. I tried to put a picture of it, but the thing wants a URL. Apparently it can't come from my actual computer.

  18. - Top - End - #198
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Prince Zahn's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    578: As a DM, I will not open my pokedex every time i need an encounter.
    579:as a DM, I will not use a rogue NPC as an exuse to play poker.
    580: my old yu-gi-oh cards may NOT be used as a cheap MM, in fact, all Cards are forbidden from being in the room during a session.
    581:Anyone who says "I believe in the heart of the cards" is banned for the rest of the CAMPAIGN, regardless of the reason.
    582:I will not shout bad words in an obscure D&D language that no one else in the session understands to another character, even if it IS at a character who shoved a Pearl of speech down my character's throat.
    P.Z. - gamer; friend; royalty. 'Tis a pleasure.

    "I could embrace you forever, I Fight for you with blazing passion and a knife I stole from you —I dare not ask what you plot with it.
    Follow me, and I will protect you, we can laugh together and the pain will over soon.
    Just trust me, one of us has to!"
    —Vamber, The daring Martyr.

    Ceika made my Vamber avatar - Thanks!!


    Quote Originally Posted by Arcanist View Post
    I trust you mister DM! I just don't trust your NPC's!

  19. - Top - End - #199
    Orc in the Playground
     
    PallElendro's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    583. Should I fire a Burning Hands, I will not scream I'ma firin' mah lasor!
    584. Lawyers can't be a counterattack to any trademarked D&D monsters.
    585. Kenny will not be used as a meat shield.
    586. I won't use Summon Instrument to create a piano atop my foes.
    587. Prestidigitation will not a way to levitate a level 30 1 pound rat before running away.
    588. I cannot use the Player's Handbook as a spellbook, every daily spell available whenever.
    589. Sleep body lotion is not a Sleep Poison applied to the exterior body.
    590. I can't entertain the crowd with Arcana checks.

  20. - Top - End - #200
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    Trobby's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    591: Not allowed to quote Earthbound every time a Mole-like enemy arrives. Especially in Weremole campaigns.
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    Quote Originally Posted by PhoeKun View Post
    ...How does one cuddle mercilessly?
    Quote Originally Posted by Coidzor View Post
    Curse your Introbulosity!

  21. - Top - End - #201
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    HypoSoc's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    592: My characters have never heard of TVTropes, so they cannot quote it as proof for not splitting up and the like.
    593: My characters have never heard of "Ye Old Book of TVTropes" so they cannot quote it as proof for not splitting up and the like.
    594: Quoting TV tropes OOC is banned for the rest of my DM's campaigns.
    595: I cannot bring my laptop to a session just to show the DM is unoriginal in his plot hooks are unoriginal via TVTropes.
    Hoc Dictum Videtur Esse Melius In Latine.
    This Motto Sounds Better In Latin.
    Cadimus Concordia.
    United We Fall.
    Nolite Hamena Machinae Timere, Nam Iusta Erunt.
    Do Not Fear The Reign Of Machines, For They Shall Be Just.

  22. - Top - End - #202
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    Gamblerjoe's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    596) if i kill an opponant with deathblow the same round they failed against the clerics hold person, the game will be paused, and i will be given a stern warning about that kind of behavior in the future.

    597) i cannot make a Warforged Druid/Paladin of Hextor.

    598) i cannot FTS a major NPC and sell him to his arch enemy.

    599) i cannot yell "snicker-snack" at the top of my lungs when i cut someones head off with a vorpal blade.

    600) i cannot have a druid cohort whos animal companion is an awakened bear-holding-a-shark with its own leadership cohort; a paladin with a special mount that is a 12 headed Ancient Lernaean-Cryo-Pyro-Hydra, each head having a 120ft "cone of mind flayers" breath weapon.

    601) i cannot trick someone into sticking their arm into a ring gate, then quickly throw the other gate into a portable hole.

    602) "Adolecent girl with superpowers" is not an archetype no matter what Joss Whedon sais.

    603) i cannot play a clown themed character with an addiction to pixie dust.

    604) i cannot play a were-house.

    605) i cannot keep the eversoaking sponge, and throw it into every body of water i ever come across.

    606) i cannot automatically assume a beholder is an enemy, even if its in the dungeon of a known enemy where every encounter has been hostile, and my character knows all beholders are evil and completely insane.

  23. - Top - End - #203
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Prince Zahn's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    607: Regardless of my race, template or whatever I was polymorphed into, I may not "Regurgitate" a Cure Moderate Wounds potion just because "It heals better the 2nd time!"
    608:When I'm in charge of setting up camp, I will not cast Leomunds Tiny Hut, simply because I need something to burn, and I will not use the excuse "whaat? I wanna sleep outdoors." for this reason.
    608b:the same goes to any shelter with good-aligned people.
    609:I will not break the fourth wall with LOLCATS quotes. even if it is hilarious.
    610: I will not use put my ranks of perform (drum set) to good use while the rest of the town is asleep, even if I DO have an audition tomorrow.
    611: when interrogating a captive/prisoner or the like, I may NOT use the "Good-Cop-Bad-Cop" routine to gather information due to the huge advantage it gives "Game-mechanics-wise."
    612:I may not get my party heavily drunk(or the like), followed by casting mass suggestion to tell them to give me their magic Items.
    613: I may not buy a scroll of a powerful spell of which I do not have in my spell book, in order to write it in my spell book, shortly followed by making more of the same spell scroll to sell for profit, and I will not repeat this process to my hearts(and bag of holding's) content.
    (a couple of Exalted rules next)
    614: In an Eberron-exalted setting, I may not use my high diplomacy skill to convince the party artificer to take "Vow of Poverty", just so I can take his magic items.
    615:I may not take "Vow of Non-Violence" in the same level I take "Vow of Peace" the night before the final battle with the BBEG.
    EDIT: 616: I may not charge 45 ft directly towards a chaos beast, and initiate a hug attack, such an attempt will be vetoed.
    Last edited by Prince Zahn; 2010-08-12 at 08:29 AM.
    P.Z. - gamer; friend; royalty. 'Tis a pleasure.

    "I could embrace you forever, I Fight for you with blazing passion and a knife I stole from you —I dare not ask what you plot with it.
    Follow me, and I will protect you, we can laugh together and the pain will over soon.
    Just trust me, one of us has to!"
    —Vamber, The daring Martyr.

    Ceika made my Vamber avatar - Thanks!!


    Quote Originally Posted by Arcanist View Post
    I trust you mister DM! I just don't trust your NPC's!

  24. - Top - End - #204
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    PallElendro's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    617. MagicNet is not a suitable form for a futuristic Internet.
    618. Just because my ranger can trance 2 hours less than sleep 6 hours doesn't mean I can always run off twice to look for nutrients.
    619. If I save the nation, I don't have to agree to wearing a free tabard with the crest of that nation.*
    620. If I knew any better, I wouldn't use Flare to throw a Magic Missile off course.
    621. A paladin won't be used like that PALADIN series on newgrounds (which happened to give my old computer a virus)
    622. I'm not allowed to let the rogue in my party be the leader. They might levy me for Gold.†
    623. When I am called upon by Moradin to be his forger via Demigod epic destiny, I cannot make a new armor called Mjolnir.
    624. Vampires never drink Blood Lite, Bloodweiser, or Diet Blood.
    625. If I have to look at a crystal ball to see events come, I cannot heat up popcorn.
    626. RuneScape cannot be referenced, ever.§
    ---
    * I rescued Fallcrest from certain doom from a released spirit, and agreed to a tabard.
    † For some reason, even when I'm the rogue, I'm always picked to be the leader. I think it's my ranks in Profession (tactician), or a Craft (plan) (or an Intelligence check, depending on which edition I'm playing)
    § Play RuneScape! Best MMORPG, for free! Advanced features cost $5.95/month with subscription to exclusive features, unless you were a previous member (like me), in which case you "grandfather" it, and save 95˘ a month. Only problem is the size, I asked for a 450% size increase, and 16% increase in monsters.

  25. - Top - End - #205
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Watcher's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    627. I cannot Gate Closak in.

  26. - Top - End - #206
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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    628. My character cannot use the reverse armor rule if male.
    628b. The above rule does not apply if character in question equips a belt of genderchange
    I'm technically but I refuse to admit it!
    Currently Developing the "PASSIVE™" RPG system
    Read the Comic about PASSIVE™
    Dawn of Yesterday (Indefinitely dead)
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    +1 to Fay being awesome, causing nosebleeds and etc.
    Quote Originally Posted by Raz_Fox View Post
    If Fay Graydon is visible to a male target, she deals d6 Nosebleed Damage per turn.
    I'm an Artist!, If you want an Avatar just PM me your specifics - Avatar by Me!

  27. - Top - End - #207
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    lord pringle's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    629. I may not make 7 back up characters
    629B. I may not make them all siblings.
    629C. they may not be lust, gluttony, greed, wrath, sloth, envy and pride.
    629D. nor may they be Red orange yellow green blue indigo violet.
    629DA. especially if they are themed after the lantern corps.

  28. - Top - End - #208
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    Emperor Ing's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    630: The Space Marine Commandments are not a substitute for the Paladin Code.
    631: The Paladin Code is not a substitute for the Space Marine Commandments
    YES!!!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blackbird97
    Good, I like the quote for you do indeed frighten people beyond words.
    I make avatars. Want one? Yes, i'm accepting requests ATM.

    Furious, Mad, Evoker ITP
    Iron Avatarist: One:
    Randomizer, Overgod of Chaos by Vuilon

  29. - Top - End - #209
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    Cealocanth's Avatar

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    632: I am not allowed to force the party to play pregenerated power rangers.

  30. - Top - End - #210
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    DrowGuy

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    Default Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG

    633: I am not allowed to play a halfling thief with a cockney accent
    634: I am not allowed to play an evil mage with a Russian accent
    635: I am not allowed to use an accent...ever
    636: I am not allowed to play an evil gnome
    637: I am not allowed to research a spell that allows me to divide by 0
    637b: Not even if it's a wild surge
    638: I am not allowed to engineer a situation where wild magic causes supernovas or other cataclysmic events
    639: After several breakings of Rule 638, I am no longer allowed to use wild magic
    640: I am not allowed to jump through windows, no matter how awesome it would look in bullet time
    641: I am not allowed to start a barfight and blame it on someone else
    641b: Not even on a natural 20
    642: I am not allowed to use Knowledge (The Barrens) to make Chuck Norris jokes
    643: No matter the setting, we do not need additional pylons
    Last edited by Jivundus; 2010-08-18 at 12:59 AM.

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