Into the West: Let's Play Oregon Trail II

[chiasaur11]

Get going. The vengeful spectre of your chicken will come for you in the night, brandishing lead shot every which way,

So kill it too.

You can't just run from your fears.

You can, however, shotgun them.

[Zarah]

Indeed! I broke out the rifle and fired off some rounds. There wasn't a lot of game around anyway, but I managed to kill two rabbits, two deer and a goose or two. I don't really remember.



We pressed onward for quite some time without incident. Things were looking up, but as soon as I said that, I was called over to deal with an injury. Oh no!



They told me RS14 was startled upon seeing the ghostly image of a chicken, then stumbled back and onto a rock. They asked me to treat him, but I am no doctor. Perhaps one of you will be?

[ReluctantReaper]

He needs to stay active of course...cant have anyone being lazy out on the trail!

[The Dark Fiddler]

Continue as normal. No help for those that will slow us down and let the vampires catch up just because of some silly ghosts.

[xp194]

Camphor for stimulation. No idea what that is but it sounds sciency enough to work!

[Aragehaor]

Give him a little more rations and tell him to suck it up. Its what his Ma would of wanted him to do anyways.






(the Extra rations are our way of fattening him up for the bear bait he will become you see.)

[chiasaur11]

Medically, rest seems to be called for.

Or the shotgun. Either one works.

[Isak]

Keep him active!

Have him pull the wagons... It'll put some hairs on his chest

[Flickerdart]

If there is one thing that fixes everything, it's "stimulation".

[RS14]

Dammit.

Extra rations for myself, I vote.

[Aragehaor]

Dammit.

Extra rations for myself, I vote.

See? even he likes the bear-bait idea. This proves something. (That the bear bait idea is best that is.)

[RS14]

Actually, I'm just hoping to be fat enough to outlast the rest of you during the inevitable winter spent stranded in the mountains.

Besides, if you want bear-bait, dousing a chicken in honey would probably work best. Noisy, fast, stupid, and less likely to set fire to your tent in retaliation.

[Zarah]

The man himself demands extra rations, so I suppose I can comply with that. However, if any of us starve because of this, then I'm totally blaming him.

Not long after, we came to our next river. The Kansas River!



There was a ferry nearby, but they were charging the outrageous sum of $6.60, so we were on our own for this one.

[The Dark Fiddler]

Run over them damn vamps again. Ford the river!

[RS14]

You realize that this river is deeper than the last...

If we must ford it, I say we should tie the Dark Fiddler to the underside of the wagon. That way he can tell us if it starts to get too deep.

[Aragehaor]

Actually, I'm just hoping to be fat enough to outlast the rest of you during the inevitable winter spent stranded in the mountains.

Besides, if you want bear-bait, dousing a chicken in honey would probably work best. Noisy, fast, stupid, and less likely to set fire to your tent in retaliation.

Two things.


A) Clearly we have different expectations from the average chicken-person relationship.

B) One wonders how you would plan to get away after you set the fire. Waddle?


EDIT: Well! this looks like the prefect time for bear-bait! if we can only get him on a large stick in the middle of the river... the bears will swim out to bear-bait and attempt to eat him. Drowning in the process and creating a bridge!




Slightly more seriously. Ford the river.

[The Dark Fiddler]

You realize that this river is deeper than the last...

If we must ford it, I say we should tie the Dark Fiddler to the underside of the wagon. That way he can tell us if it starts to get too deep.

It's only three and one half feet, though.

And I'd love to be tied to the bottom, but I'm not in this game.

[Zarah]

We knew what had to be done, and we did it thusly:



Well, at least we didn't lose another chicken. Just our medicine. Bah, we won't need it anyway!

Despite the loss, our morale was still high. A little more traveling on our way and we came to St. Mary's Mission, accompanied by a slight change of background music.

[Starbuck_II]

Visit the mission.

[RS14]

I agree. Maybe you lunatics will feel safe from the vampires in here.

[AgentPaper]

Charge blindly forward! There's more rivers to ford, garramit!

[Aragehaor]

Lets think about this for a minute. Do we really feel good enough about our lives so far as to go inside the mission and be able to comfortably take advantage of these women?...



I do. Lets do it.

[RS14]

Lets think about this for a minute. Do we really feel good enough about our lives so far as to go inside the mission and be able to comfortably take advantage of these women?...



I do. Lets do it.

Unfortunately, they're pretty much all unmaried men. (I know because I had the same idea ).

[Zarah]

We entered the mission, expecting to "take advantage" the the women there, as one settler from another wagon put it. However, we were slightly disappointed to see that they were only willing to trade with us, and restricted access anywhere else inside the mission. They had little to offer as far as goods went, and I had a feeling we might need that 48 cents until later in our journey, so we quickly packed up and hit the road.



Only to smack head-first into another river. How much water can this country have?!

[Aragehaor]

Unfortunately, they're pretty much all unmaried men. (I know because I had the same idea ).

Aww...


Well... i guess we can still "relieve" them of any valuables and run off in the dead of night. I wouldnt feel gulity robbing unmarried male priests.. Do priests have guns? Because a new gun would make this day much better.

[ZeroNumerous]

Shoot it! Loot it's body!

...Wait, that's a river. I guess running it over is also acceptable. Ford away!

[Pie Guy]

Shoot it! Loot it's body!

Hey! Stop stealing my ideas!

Shooting rivers for water is old news, I say we burn it for warmth.

[chiasaur11]

That only works for the Ankh.

[Pie Guy]

Just because ONE person tried setting fire to ONE river doesn't mean no rivers are flammable. We need more data!

[chiasaur11]

Just because ONE person tried setting fire to ONE river doesn't mean no rivers are flammable. We need more data!

No, that's the thing. They tested the Ankh. It worked.

As the Ankh is as far away from water as it is possible to be while still being a river, we must conclude water is not flammable.