Crack Pairings VIII - We Need A Half-Elf Template

[Zanaril]

My God that's such a load of sheer text.

Isn't it just beautiful?

[Lix Lorn]

Yay For Page 2

[Water-Smurf]

I'm going home tomorrow for two weeks, so expect a major jump in updates after a lot of radio silence tomorrow and possibly the day after. My family and friends still need to celebrate my birthday with me!

[CoffeeIncluded]

I'm going home tomorrow for two weeks, so expect a major jump in updates after a lot of radio silence tomorrow and possibly the day after. My family and friends still need to celebrate my birthday with me!

Yay! *Hugs Water-Smurf*

How you feeling?

[Lix Lorn]

WE'RE MORE IMPORTANT-(Shot)
Have fun.

[Water-Smurf]

Yay! *Hugs Water-Smurf*

How you feeling?

I'm actually at a pretty 'high' point right now. I'm going home, I had a good birthday, I'm going to have a party, I'm making friends, midterms are over... and, of course, I've got you folks. :) Vive la crack pairings!

[CoffeeIncluded]

I'm actually at a pretty 'high' point right now. I'm going home, I had a good birthday, I'm going to have a party, I'm making friends, midterms are over... and, of course, I've got you folks. :) Vive la crack pairings!

Viva la crack pairings!

I'm so glad you're feeling better! You had us all really worried!

(So you get spring break a few weeks early? What does your school do with Easter and Passover? )

[Belkster11]

Anyone like my O-Chul/Haley crack?

[Water-Smurf]

Viva la crack pairings!

I'm so glad you're feeling better! You had us all really worried!

I'm just hoping that this good patch stays for a while. :)

(So you get spring break a few weeks early? What does your school do with Easter and Passover? )

They stuff all our vacation in long breaks.

But I can deal with that. I can deal with a lot of stuff as long as I have time to write and chat online. So, yeah, crack pairings are awesome for me.

[CoffeeIncluded]

I'm just hoping that this good patch stays for a while. :)

I'm sure it will! (Just don't let that game get you down. )

They stuff all our vacation in long breaks.

But I can deal with that. I can deal with a lot of stuff as long as I have time to write and chat online. So, yeah, crack pairings are awesome for me.

Which I'm sure you'll have lots of!

And don't worry; I'll do a better job at what's appropriate and what's not for this thread! I promise!

(God, I sound like an overeager little kid here, don't I? No matter what, I'll never fully grow up...And actually, I'm okay with that! )

(And I'm sorry to be a bother, but did you take a look at what I sent you? I'm sorry if I'm acting like a nag...)

[Sereg]

Anyone like my O-Chul/Haley crack?

I enjoyed it. Hmmm...once I've finished "Body and Soul" I must do more elf/non-elf pairings. I've got a lot of ideas that I need to catch up on.

EDIT: Lira, plot table 3, number 11 still has to be changed to "in a musical".

[Taekwondodo]

Spoiler

Show

They Said It Could Not Be Done
From the Cack-Pairing Thread’s Hottest New Producer, Taekwondodo
The Love That Should Not Have Been
Adapted From the Page-Searing Crack-Pairing By Water-Smurf
With Original, Never Before Heard Songs
The Crack-Pairing Thread is Proud to Present

In The Arms of Morpheus:
The Musical

Spoiler

Show

(Act One)

Voice Over: In an alternate universe Vaarsuvius has once again failed to defeat Xykon, even if his phylactery has been lost. However, rather than escaping with O-Chul and being reunited with the rest of the Order, they have both been recaptured. Redcloak intervenes, and convinces Xykon that they are worth more alive than dead. In punishment Xykon bans Redcloak from regenerating his lost eye. The story continues…

(Curtain opens. Vaarsuvius and O-Chul in cages in corner. Redcloak and Tsukiko talk)

T (amused): No regen, huh? Tough break
R: Be glad that I convinced him to not kill our two only sources of information on the gates.
T: Why’d I be glad about that? You’re the only one who cares about information!
R: Because I’m apparently the only one with common sense. Get out.
T: Don’t mind if I do, Left-Eye.

(T leaves)

R: Left eye?

“They’ll Never Know”

How little does she know
The pain I have encountered
As going forward to
The world that I have hungered
The deeds that I have done
That the Dark One has asked for
From which I have not shied
For family and for brother

My face and mind are set
My road is never ending
Gold chain and blood red cloak
All power to my bending
No tear shall ‘scape my eye
We shall move forward fighting
Until my work is done
The goblin’s future brightening

Through what I’ve done
To bring the sun
Goblins out of shadow!

They shall never know!

(V shifts in cage)

V (weakly): Neither of us is going to provide you information.
R (spins around, growls): We’ll see about that.

(Drags elf out of cage, protesting, and out of room. Curtain closes. Curtain opens on sparse room. R lays V on bed.)

V (looking round): This is not a cell. Why did you bring me here?

(V tries to sit up on the bed but not strong enough. Flops back on to the bed with a stifled cry of pain. R pulls out chair and sits next to bed.)

R: To heal you. I can’t have you dying on me in the first five minutes of interrogation. (Lays hand on V’s shoulder)Heal moderate wounds.

(V gasps as healing takes effect. R reaches out and cups her chin, with curiosity and disgust on his face.)

V (stronger): Let go of me.

(R snarls, digs in claws then lets go. Beads of blood appear on V’s chin)

R: I’m going to put up some protections on this room and leave. You won’t be able to escape, and you won’t bother trying to. If you do, I’ll tie you to the bed and let Xykon and Tsukiko do whatever they want. You’re going to trance whenever possible. If you refuse, I’ll start ripping off your or the paladin’s fingers, whichever works best. Food will be brought up, and you will eat it. If you refuse, I’ll force-feed you personally. I’m going to heal you until you are at least moderately healthy. If you try to resist, I’ll throw a slave into the Snarl. Once you’re physically capable of handling more than a shove in the wrong direction, you’ll be interrogated mercilessly about the elves and the gates. I don’t think I need to go into detail about what happens if you don’t tell us what we want to know. Understand?

(V glares but stays silent)

R: Let’s see how long you’ll be able to keep the defiance up.

(R leaves room, V slumps back onto bed. Curtain closes, end of act one.)

Thoughts?

[Zanaril]

My family and friends still need to celebrate my birthday with me!

Make sure to eat plenty of birthday cake!

I'm just hoping that this good patch stays for a while. :)

*starts trying to send 'staying' vibes*

And don't worry; I'll do a better job at what's appropriate and what's not for this thread! I promise!

Coffee, it's not your job to police us. The best thing you can do is to lead by example - or if you want to hone your skills of manipulation - to steer the topic into clearer waters if it starts getting too dark.

Thoughts?

Musicals terrify me. *cowers*

More!


In other news, I had an interesting day; went into London with school for a college/university conference, and I've found a good few universities that do courses in computer animation and game art. So I'm happy.

[Lix Lorn]

That's a scene, not an act. But AWESOME!

[Taekwondodo]

That's a scene, not an act. But AWESOME!

Oops! What's the difference?

[Asta Kask]

I'm just hoping that this good patch stays for a while. :)

So do I. Say "hi" to your parents from all the completely unfamiliar people you've met on the web!

(God, I sound like an overeager little kid here, don't I? No matter what, I'll never fully grow up...And actually, I'm okay with that! )

Whatever you do, don't let them grow you up. Always leave a part of that in you which just gapes in wonder at the beauty of the universe.

Spoiler

Show

They Said It Could Not Be Done
From the Cack-Pairing Thread’s Hottest New Producer, Taekwondodo
The Love That Should Not Have Been
Adapted From the Page-Searing Crack-Pairing By Water-Smurf
With Original, Never Before Heard Songs
The Crack-Pairing Thread is Proud to Present

In The Arms of Morpheus:
The Musical

Thoughts?

Moar! Moar! Moar!

In other news, I had an interesting day; went into London with school for a college/university conference, and I've found a good few universities that do courses in computer animation and game art. So I'm happy.

Yay! Zanaril will get an edumacation! Make tons of £££££££!

[Lix Lorn]

A scene is like a chapter, an act is more like... a book or a section. You know you get books with 'Part One' or stuff? They'd be acts.

In other news, my XykonElan just graduated from oneshotcrackficpairing to properplottedcrackficpairing. DXD That's what happens when the very, veyr small part of you with a lawful alignment makes you EXPLAIN why you're pairing a protagonist with the major antagonist, and comes up with an awesome enough answer to fuel a story.

[Taekwondodo]

A scene is like a chapter, an act is more like... a book or a section. You know you get books with 'Part One' or stuff? They'd be acts.

In other news, my XykonElan just graduated from oneshotcrackficpairing to properplottedcrackficpairing. DXD That's what happens when the very, veyr small part of you with a lawful alignment makes you EXPLAIN why you're pairing a protagonist with the major antagonist, and comes up with an awesome enough answer to fuel a story.

Oh OK. I'll remember that in future.

[Lix Lorn]

Glad to help. ^_^

[CoffeeIncluded]

Whatever you do, don't let them grow you up. Always leave a part of that in you which just gapes in wonder at the beauty of the universe.

I know. It's hard, but I'm trying.

And we REALLY need to make a Crack Pairer base class/Prestige class!

[Lix Lorn]

I don't really know enough about the rules. DXD Otherwise i totally WOULD.

CRAFT DISTURBING MENTAL IMAGE AS CLASS FEAT

[Draconi Redfir]

Spoiler

Show

*snip*

Thoughts?

... we have GOT to do this!!! for realz!!!!


can anyone here do animaition? we need to get this on youtube.


dodo!, you direct, coffie! watersmerf! you two are the only girls i know of here. can either of you voice V and/or Tuski? we will also need voices for Xylon and Redcloak, as well as Jirix, zombies, and O-chul.

eavryone get skype! this is too good to not do! XD
this is mostly a joke... would stil lbe awsome if we did it though

[CoffeeIncluded]

... we have GOT to do this!!! for realz!!!!


can anyone here do animaition? we need to get this on youtube.


dodo!, you direct, coffie! watersmerf! you two are the only girls i know of here. can either of you voice V and/or Tuski? we will also need voices for Xylon and Redcloak, as well as Jirix, zombies, and O-chul.

eavryone get skype! this is too good to not do! XD
this is mostly a joke... would stil lbe awsome if we did it though

I'll try...

[Taekwondodo]

... we have GOT to do this!!! for realz!!!!


can anyone here do animaition? we need to get this on youtube.


dodo!, you direct, coffie! watersmerf! you two are the only girls i know of here. can either of you voice V and/or Tuski? we will also need voices for Xylon and Redcloak, as well as Jirix, zombies, and O-chul.

eavryone get skype! this is too good to not do! XD
this is mostly a joke... would stil lbe awsome if we did it though

Well I'm writing the rest of it (doing other stuff as well so give me time!). Would be rather cool to do!

[Asta Kask]

I have a deep, Xykony voice but I can't sing.

Is Xykon even in this?

Edit: Oh, and Coffee... I'd be careful around Water-Smurf, Zanaril, or Lix - at least if they carry sharp knives and look evaluatingly at you.

This is spill-over from the FF-forum.

[Zanaril]

I have a deep, Xykony voice but I can't sing.

Is Xykon even in this?

Later, later. When Reddy starts getting curbstomped.

Edit: Oh, and Coffee... I'd be careful around Water-Smurf, Zanaril, or Lix - at least if they carry sharp knives and look evaluatingly at you.

*quickly hides "Surgery and Vivisection for Dummies"*

[Asta Kask]

Crack Pairer PrC

"I don't know! All she did was whisper something in his ear about a lich and an ogre, and the next thing I know he's curled up in a little ball whimpering! I didn't even know it was possible to vomit things you haven't eaten yet!"

Prerequisites:
Skills: 4 rank in Profession (Writer)
Feats: Iron Will
Saves: +5 Will Base save, +5 Fort Base save
Other: Must be literate

Something like that to begin with... thoughts?

[CoffeeIncluded]

Crack Pairer PrC

Prerequisites:
Skills: 4 rank in Profession (Writer)
Feats: Craft Disturbing Mental Image
Equipment: Computer; Internet Connection
Other: Must be literate

Something like that to begin with... thoughts?

It has to have a good Fort and Will save progression. The entire class revolves around squicking out everyone else while being immune to said squicking.

Flavor text: "I don't know! All she did was whisper something in his ear about a lich and an ogre, and the next thing I know he's curled up in a little ball whimpering! I didn't even know it was possible to vomit things you haven't eaten yet!"

I'll sign onto that forum later today, I think.

[Asta Kask]

It has to have a good Fort and Will save progression. The entire class revolves around squicking out everyone else while being immune to said squicking.

Flavor text: "I don't know! All she did was whisper something in his ear about a lich and an ogre, and the next thing I know he's curled up in a little ball whimpering! I didn't even know it was possible to vomit things you haven't eaten yet!"

I'll sign onto that forum later today, I think.

You won't be able to post for a day (or two; I'm old, I don't remember.) But we'll be happy to have you there! *missed my Coffee*

How's Murphy's Law coming along? *wags tail and begs*

[CoffeeIncluded]

You won't be able to post for a day (or two; I'm old, I don't remember.) But we'll be happy to have you there! *missed my Coffee*

How's Murphy's Law coming along? *wags tail and begs*

Yay!

Will I be able to finish before my mom picks me up? I'm almost done, but she's coming over right now! Never mind.

Do you like the flavor text I provided?

I already looked over the thread. I think you violated several laws there.