Crack Pairings VIII - We Need A Half-Elf Template

[Lix Lorn]

It looks good! Only thing is, maybe Kirk would be unwilling to admit he wasn't sure?
Indestructible is a good song. It would work better for the canon fight between Xykon and V though.

[Taekwondodo]

We could always have a song at the point were Xylon is beating up Reddy. Perhaps something along the lines of:

"I hate everything about you" (thee days grace)

"This animal I have become" (three days grace)

"Indestructible" (disturbed)

"One step closer (to the edge)" (Linken park)

"Shut up" (linken park)

"Head strong" (trapt)


I mostly imagine Xylon singing parody-versions of these songs while beating up red quite violently. I’d provide links, but I’m not quite sure if I’m allowed.

Having a song at that point would have meant showing the beating. This way (closing the curtain and opening on his injuries) leaves the details to the viewer's mind, which I think was more effective.

Nice update Tira-chan. On the first page, after the list of stories, there is a compilation of art if that is what you were looking for.

[Lix Lorn]

I Hate Everything About You would fit Tiasal if Deirdre happens?
Or Animal I Have Become could fit the same...

[half-halfling]

My mental picture is of Water-Smurf (Who looks like Tiasal in my head) being launched out of a cannon. O_o

(Goes to catch)

You mean like this? :

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Vaarsuvius x Spock was great! I liked latest ShinyDelusion's about V's parent and Aarindarius too.

[Asta Kask]

You mean like this? :

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Yes... errr... something like that. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

[Draconi Redfir]

think you forgot the dragon tatoo(dragonmark?) on tuski :P

[Lix Lorn]

Okay, i love you. xD

(Will i be shot if i ship TsukikoTiasal?)

[CoffeeIncluded]

That picture is hilarious.

I'd ask, but I'm sure she'd be okay with it.

[Asta Kask]

Okay, i love you. xD

(Will i be shot if i ship TsukikoTiasal?)

Water-Smurf won't shoot you. She's more likely to ship you with Grubwiggle and write about it on FF...

[Lix Lorn]

XD
Who's Grubwiggle?

[Asta Kask]

Isn't that the wizard who makes golems? Or was he named something else?

[Lix Lorn]

Oh, him. XD Eh, go ahead. I once wrote Undead!MexTsukiko.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Oh, him. XD Eh, go ahead. I once wrote Undead!MexTsukiko.

No! Not allowed by forum rules! Drop the subject!

[Lix Lorn]

Nothere, of course. Bad idea. Offtopic Bad.

So. MikoTiasal?
(Shipping random people with Tiasal for the fun)

[Asta Kask]

Tiasal/Xykon is the obvious, of course. And we all know that Water-Smurf has taken Tiasal into places none of us are comfortable with, so some other pairings are off-limits as well. She has O-Chul as a mentor and friend - what if she tried to seduce him? And of course, Elan has all the sexual charisma you might look for in a man (if the brains of a hedgehog.)

[Draconi Redfir]

just to screw with your minds:

Tiassal x right-eye.

tiassal x right-eye's daughter



deeeewww iiiiittt :P

[The Dark Fiddler]

And we all know that Water-Smurf has taken Tiasal into places none of us are comfortable with

Can't speak for me. I still haven't been seriously (as in, outside of joking, not as a measure of intensity) squicked by the thread.

Edit: I'm sure that says very strange things about me.

[Lix Lorn]

Very few people are truly comfortable with the things i shall not say cause they're icky and not allowed.

TiasalAbram? Not so much crack, but still.

[Water-Smurf]

Only general? We're getting somewhere then!

They trust me to not give out too much information. 'Sides, I'm old enough so that pedophiles won't be interested in the least.

I'm going to take this as proof that all the stories are in the same continuity. PROOF.

Believe what you want to believe. I haven't said anything official, so it's open season on speculation.

And two endings for OAWLS? I'm glad it seems we'll get a continuation, but at that point what other way could it go except for world-doomy death and destruction? It seemed hopeless with both Reddy and V being dead.

Trust me to be able to make the ending a little more sweet and a little less bitter. Or make it so bitter that you feel like you need to throw up later.

Scene 2! V sings!!

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(Scene 2. Curtain opens, R at window lit by purple light of the Snarl, hobgoblin comes in.)

H: Supreme Leader?

(R spins round and frowns at H)

R: Yes?
H: The prisoner isn’t eating or trancing. She says that she’s not hungry or tired.

(R sighs)

R: I’ll handle it. How’s the search for Xykon’s phylactery?
H: The troops haven’t found it so far.
R: Wonderful. I bet Xykon’s in a great mood about that. You may leave.

(H leaves)

“Unbalanced”

The urge to rip and claw and tear,
Only anger for the elf
Rip flesh from bones and scalp from hair
Yet in it, anger for myself

Why not hurt one in recompense?
Or take out my anger on?
So much worse is their offense
So many blameless goblins gone

So hurt the elf, remind our foes, why we should be feared!
And make the scoreboard, just that bit more balanced.

(Curtain closes. Opens on elf’s room)

R: What’d I say about eating and trancing?
V: I…I am not hungry nor am I tired.
R: Save the lying for interrogation. (picks up bowl and walks to bed) Enjoy the food while you can. This is the best you’re going to get—after you’re healthy, you’ll be living off gruel.

(V shifts into the corner, wary)

V: That seems to defeat the purpose of making me healthy.
R: You’d think so. Alright, you can eat and make at least one of us happy, or you can still resist and make both of us unhappier than we already are.

(V hesitates, R picks up spoon as if to feed her. V holds out hand to stop him)

V: That is quite alright! I can feed myself.
R: Pride is all you have left, elf.

(Gives V spoon but sees her hand is shaking so steadies it with his. V eats.)

V (curious): Why would you do this personally?
R: I’m a hands-on leader, I guess. Besides, your presence is not exactly something I want every foot soldier to know about. (Removes pot and spoon) This is the part where I ‘convince’ you to trance.
V: I am not tired.
R (snarls): No, you’re exhausted! You want to see how many times you can deal with your fingers being ripped off? I may be a lowly cleric but I can regenerate lost limbs.

(V glares while squeezing further into corner)

V: I am not tired. Bring any barbaric torture you wish—I shall not trance.

“Memories”

R: Why not trance? I see no reason in it
This round of wills, there’s no way they can win it.
No rebel sign? An answer must be elsewhere
Refusing sleep, this elf is a nightmare!

(Understanding dawns)

(Spoken) Oh!

Haunted by their past
A sign of guilt at last?
Seems anything’s better than return to memories.

Similar in our hurt
Yet too close for comfort
Both of us trying to escape from memories.

(Spoken) What’s your name?

(V looks up, surprised but wary)

Dark One above! This prisoner, this elf
Without trying reminds me of myself
Grief, remorse and anger, fear and shame
Though they don’t show I know this others pain.

R: What’s your name? Is this a difficult question?
V: I am rather surprised that you care.
R: Filing issues. I can’t exactly call you ‘the elf’ in any records when I start interrogating you. We’re inevitably going to get a few other prisoners that fit that description.
V: Perhaps the elf that helped lose your master’s phylactery?

(V squares shoulders and looks proud)

R: Just give me your name. It’s not like I can do much with it.
V: I would prefer to know who I am speaking to first.
R: Just call me Redcloak. Everyone else does.

(V pauses.)

V: My name is Vaarsuvius. (Looks away, pride drained) I am not tired.

(R frowns)

R: Fine then.

(R settles on the end of the bed. Finds book and flicks through pages)

V: What are you doing?
R: If I’m staying here, I’m going to have something to entertain myself.
V: And why are you staying here?
R: (sighs) It turns out that torture can only do so much, and forcing someone to sleep isn’t included. So I’m staying here until you trance.
V: Excuse me?!
R: You speak Common, right? I’m not leaving until you get at least eight hours of trance. I know that my… associates don’t seem like it, but there are some people here that have more patience than that of a toddler.

(V still looks wary)

R: Don’t flatter yourself or insult me. I’m not like Xykon. I’m not going to hurt you when you’re asleep. Especially in… (Pauses and makes sound of disgust) that way.

(Still wary V lays head on knees and falls into a trance. Curtain closes.)

(Curtain opens. V alone in room. R comes in.)

R: They tell me you’re refusing to trance again.

“Memories – Reprise”

V: This respite cannot last
But while I can I ask
For company can tide against the memories.

(R nods and settles on the end of the bed. Curtain closes, end of scene 2)

Scene 3 will probably take longer as I had actually wrote the songs for 1 and 2 before I even told you about them!

Hey, does anyone know how to write music? I'd like to see how these lyrics sound to a melody. ^.^

Here's not-really-a-pairing Tiasal and Xykon.

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Cute picture!

Because I thought I couldn't draw anything weirder.

Awwwww... ^.^ Tiasal looks so innocent and hopeful. And Xykon looks like he has no idea what to do, so he's just going to try to ignore her.

To everyone who says my work is good - thank you all. I need a little ego boost right now (the university is screwing with me... )

*koala hug of love*

Here's the next installment of my AulaxTiberiusxAarindarius thingie:

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“Master,” said the dark-haired elf timidly, fidgeting with the pages of his spellbook, which he held before him almost like a shield.

“What is it, Dominic?” said Aarindarius, looking up from a book about how to collect herbs that could be used as spell components.

“About last year…” The boy bit his lip, stared at the ground. “The rabbits,” he choked out at last, “I never apologized for what I did. I’m sorry.”

“You did apologize,” said Aarindarius, a little too quickly; that day had come up often enough in his trances that he knew every detail intimately.

“I…” Dominic said, his voice cracking, his usually pale face burning red with shame, “I was not sincere, that first time. Today I am.”

“You are?” said Aarindarius, raising an eyebrow and trying to make eye-contact with the boy.

“When I go adventuring,” his student said, “I think I’d like to be the party healer.”

“That will take some learning,” said Aarindarius, rising from his chair and turning to a bookshelf, running his finger along the spines of the books in search of some medical title, “And it will be difficult learning for you Dominic; so far you’ve only ever taken ranks in Knowledge, and Healing is Wisdom.” He glanced over his shoulder. “Are you sure you’re ready for this?”

The boy met his eyes at last. “Yes.”

Aarindarius smiled as his eyes slowly opened. That had been one of the best trances he’d had in weeks. He blinked a few times, startled, as his own flustered reflection blinked back at him.

“Good morning,” said the blue-haired elf beside his reflection. Aarindarius turned his head away from the mirror on the ceiling.

“Tiberius,” he sighed, shaking his head, “I’ll never get used to waking up here.” But at least I have clothes on this time… he added to himself.

“Pity,” Tiberius replied, sitting up, “And quite a surprise, considering how much you’ve been over here this past month. I do believe this is your eighth visit in the past twenty days. Although, I might point out, it is the first where you actually wanted to just talk.” With a wink he added, “Not that we mind.”

Aarindarius shook his head. “You must be rubbing off on me—don’t.”

Tiberius obediently bit back the obvious joke, instead giggling mischievously. “Are you feeling better?” he asked after a pause.

“Yes,” said Aarindarius emphatically, also sitting up, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” said Tiberius. “You know, it’s definitely for the best that you’re finally feeling like yourself again,” he said casually, “The way you’ve been visiting Aula and me so much right after your student left… Well, what will the parents say?”

“Your shameless!” Aarindarius declared, falling back on the bed and grinning up at his reflection and the upturned blue tassel that was Tiberius’s hair. Rubbing his eyes, he asked, “Where’s Aula?”

“Gone to pay Hortensia a visit,” Tiberius replied.

“The cleric?”

“Mm-hm.”

“I thought she wasn’t her type.”

Tiberius let out a short bark of a laugh. “First of all, friend,” he said, “You know as well as I do that Aula’s ‘type’ is ‘has a body’—”

“I was talking about Hortensia…” Aarindarius murmured.

“Secondly,” Tiberius continued, “She wants to see if she’s pregnant yet, silly. You know we’ve been trying since we got married.”

“Oh,” said Aarindarius, “Right.”

“I hope we’ll have a girl first,” said Tiberius dreamily, lying back down next to Aarindarius, “It’ll be like having two Aulas around the house.”

Trying to put all the possible implications of that statement out of his mind, Aarindarius said jokingly, “If I were you, I’d just hope it was yours.”

Tiberius shrugged. “I just want to raise a nice big family with her; I have for a long time. You know that.”

“Yes, I know,” Aarindarius said solemnly, wondering if Tiberius was about the bring up—

“That’s why Clarissa and I divorced after just twenty-five years, you know,” said Tiberius simply, “We couldn’t have children. She’s had three little girls with her new husband, now.”

The statement hung in the air a long time.

“I’m sorry,” said Aarindarius at last, turning his head to look at his friend.

Tiberius shrugged again. “Aula and I will have a lot of kids. I know we will.” He turned his head to look at Aarindarius, staring into his friend’s shimmering violet eyes. He smiled. “Cheer up,” he said.

Aarindarius smiled back weakly.

“That’s just pitiful,” said Tiberius with a scoff, sitting up. “I guess I’ll just have to cheer you up myself.”

“Get off,” said Aarindarius, rolling his eyes as his friend advanced upon him.

“Give me one good reason,” said Tiberius before ducking down quickly to nip his friend on the ear.

“Hey!” the lavender-haired elf cried, blushing a deep crimson.

“That’s what I thought,” said Tiberius, beginning to repeat the movement before stopping mid-nibble. “I’m hungry.”

“I’ll make you breakfast,” Aarindarius said quickly.

“Will it be chocolate cake?” asked Tiberius with enthusiasm, seeming to have forgotten what he’d been planning to do.

“For breakfast?”

“Yeah,” said Tiberius, starting to slide off the bed, “That way we can finish this up while it’s baking.”

“Fine,” said Aarindarius, sitting up. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t stop his petulant scowl from melting into an eager grin.

There's probably some deviation from Smurf-Cannon in there, but I hope she will find it forgivable.

Comments appreciated.

That made me laugh. You really get them and their relationship. It's adorable, especially how childlike and eager Tiberius is.

Hey, Water-Smurf! How's the break going so far?

I've been catatonic for a while. And dealing with plans and things. But it's going well! :D

*hugs for you and the puppy*

Hope it will turn out ok. *frets*

It turns out that Lucy only had a little virus. We're just going to be giving her some meds for a few days and she'll be okay. Poor girl--she hated having to spend over night at a vet.

I Hate Everything About You would fit Tiasal if Deirdre happens?

That seems to be a song that describes her feelings towards her family, her father especially.

You mean like this? :

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Cannon.

That made me giggle.

(Will i be shot if i ship TsukikoTiasal?)

Ship what you like. That's the right of fans.

Tiasal/Xykon is the obvious, of course. And we all know that Water-Smurf has taken Tiasal into places none of us are comfortable with, so some other pairings are off-limits as well. She has O-Chul as a mentor and friend - what if she tried to seduce him? And of course, Elan has all the sexual charisma you might look for in a man (if the brains of a hedgehog.)

Is it the right time to point out that Tiasal had a huge crush on O-Chul as a child?

just to screw with your minds:

Tiassal x right-eye.

tiassal x right-eye's daughter

Replace 'Tiasal' with 'Deirdre' and you're good. Though I doubt Dierdre would have any interest in Right-Eye's daughter--she doesn't know her, so there's no sense that she's family, and Deirdre has less of an interest in female family members than she does male ones.

Edit: I'm sure that says very strange things about me.

That just means that you'd fit in well in /b/.

TiasalAbram? Not so much crack, but still.

Canon. She had a crush. Deirdre/Abram? Also canon.

Whoo. Big reply.

[Lix Lorn]

Canon? Awesome. Now i ship them for teh future. ^_^

[Zanaril]

(Will i be shot if i ship TsukikoTiasal?)

Dooo it!

I haven't said anything official, so it's open season on speculation.

I wonder if anyone sells epileptic tree saplings...

Is it the right time to point out that Tiasal had a huge crush on O-Chul as a child?

Half of this forum seemed to have a crush on O-chul during his shark-punching, loincloth-wearing, Chuck Norris-pwning days.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Hey, does anyone know how to write music? I'd like to see how these lyrics sound to a melody. ^.^

Sorry, I don't.

It turns out that Lucy only had a little virus. We're just going to be giving her some meds for a few days and she'll be okay. Poor girl--she hated having to spend over night at a vet.

Good!

When Zoe goes to the vet, they have to literally drag her to the back. She hides under the couch and claws at the floor.

Is it the right time to point out that Tiasal had a huge crush on O-Chul as a child?

Yes. Yes it is.

That just means that you'd fit in well in /b/.

You go on /b/?!

Whoo. Big reply.

I've seen bigger. (Did you see my PMs? Sorry if I sound rude.)

[icastflare!]

You go on /b/?!

/b/? where have i heard that before

[Lix Lorn]

Rule 1 of the internet: Thou shalt not speak of /b/?
Is that it?

[ShinyDelusion]

Nice mini-chapter, Tira-chan, although, since I grew up on the oringinal series, I was half-expecting Klingons to show up or the ship's power to drop for no apparent reason or some other mini-diaster to happen about where the chapter cut to the commercial break ended. Accompanied by a dramatic DA-NUH! from the soundtrack of course. Everyone seemed in-character enough to me, by the way, since you were worried about that, although it really wasn't long enough for anyone to do much to judge by.

That picture made me literally lol, half-halfling.

Hey, does anyone know how to write music? I'd like to see how these lyrics sound to a melody. ^.^

Someone else on this thread (I want to say Sereg, but I'm not sure) and I are both taking Music Theory this year. I can't speak for him, but I could probably come up with something at least decent if I got a little free time (spring break is next week for me...). Do you play piano or any other instrument? Writing music I could do, but recording I don't have the means or the enthusiasm for at the moment.

That made me laugh. You really get them and their relationship. It's adorable, especially how childlike and eager Tiberius is.

Glad to see I'm still mostly getting it right. Thanks for the compliment.

[Lix Lorn]

Your name is shiny... (mesmerised)

(Shakes self)

Um. Oops. XD
What's the crackiest pairing that you could imagine actually being canonised? (Counting either canon or Smurfanon?)
((Haha smurfanon.))

[ShinyDelusion]

Your name is shiny... (mesmerised)

(Shakes self)

Um. Oops. XD
What's the crackiest pairing that you could imagine actually being canonised? (Counting either canon or Smurfanon?)
((Haha smurfanon.))

Not sure whether I'm loling at the implication that you've only just noticed or how apparently easily-distracted you are.

Hm... Belkar x V, O-chul x Miko (in the afterlife after O-chul made some sort of heroic sacrifice), or Xykon x Tsukiko. I'm not going to touch Smurfanon just yet; too much squick potential.

[Lix Lorn]

I blame Joss Whedon.

Also, i hardly believe Belkar could EVER die. Take that, kobolds.
I like it though.
The second i can just about imagine. Just.

[The Dark Fiddler]

That just means that you'd fit in well in /b/.

*cough* I feel I should point out that I regularly poke around /b/ to see if there's any new memes I should be aware of, and indeed they have not truly squicked me out either (again as outside of joking, not as measure of blah blah words).

Rule 1 of the internet: Thou shalt not speak of /b/?
Is that it?

That only applies to raids.

...oh dear...

[icastflare!]

*cough* I feel I should point out that I regularly poke around /b/ to see if there's any new memes I should be aware of, and indeed they have not truly squicked me out either (again as outside of joking, not as measure of blah blah words).

memes? Oh goodness its rushing back. Thats what /b/ is .