"What did you just say?"

[Amiel]

We hear these every day; from inane chatter to frivolous conservation, they interrupt our lives like persistent flies; offering hilarity (perhaps unintentional) but more facepalms than not.

All of these were Overheard. Reading these may actually deprive you of brain cells.

Guy ordering coffee: "Can I get a coffee with soy sauce and one without?"
Girl behind counter: "Don't you mean soy milk?"
Guy: "Yeah, that one"
---
Boy: "I don't know what the plural of seats is"
---
Schoolgirl: "I'm so stressed. I'm going to get stomach warts"
Girl 2: "Don't you mean ulcers?"
---
Guy 1: "CO2, that's what we breathe, right?"
Guy 2: "No"
Guy 1: "Oh right, CO2 is water"
---
Guy 1: "I can't ask her out, man, she's out of my league"
Guy 2: "Are you a Mexican or a Mexi-can't?"
Guy 1: "Dude, are you serious? I've told you like three times, I'm from Chile"
---
Girl to friend: "Oh my god, I burped at work today"
Friend: "How?"
---
Boy to friend: "Was that your sister you were walking with?"
Friend: "No, that was my other sister"
---
Woman to friend on phone: "Yeah, but Rosie doesn't text me back. I know she had a major operation last week, but she's obviously ignoring me so she isn't worth my time"
---
Boy 1: "I thought I was gonna have to go to bed smelly last night"
Boy 2: "Why?"
Boy 1: "Because the power wasn't on"
Boy 2: "You do realise the water doesn't turn off when the power does?"
Boy 1: "Really? Oh..."
---
Girls gossiping: "Like, her, actions, like, totally contradicted what she, like, did"
---
Man on bus: "I didn't quit, I just stopping going"
---
Girl 1: "I've never sprained a bone before"
Girl 2: "Oh! Me too"


Sometimes I really wonder about the intelligence of my fellow humans


Also, if you guys have interesting, weird, hilarious et al conversations that you have had or may had overheard, please do share!

[JediSoth]

At the Zoo, a mother and her young daughter were looking at the ring-tailed lemurs.

Mom: "Look at the raccoons, honey!"

[Manga Shoggoth]

Boy 1: "I thought I was gonna have to go to bed smelly last night"
Boy 2: "Why?"
Boy 1: "Because the power wasn't on"
Boy 2: "You do realise the water doesn't turn off when the power does?"
Boy 1: "Really? Oh..."

Actually, that one is quite reasonable. After all if the power goes you may have lost the water heating as well.

Unless you like cold showers, of course.

(Depends on how your house is set up, of course. Things like small hot water tanks, timed thermostats, on demand systems, electric water heating and so forth may cause trouble. I don't think I have lived in two houses that were heated in the same way...)

[Amiel]

Well, it's a fail on both sides of the conversation


I've heard of people using thermos flasks and washing themselves with the hot water in those.

[Haruki-kun]

Can't remember where I heard this one.

Girl: "I really like uniforms, they're somewhat sexy. But I can't stand how they make everyone look the same."

[Ashen Lilies]

And? 'tis possible to enjoy the uniform, yet hate the concept of it.

More on topic, a moment from a good friend durig break time, though I forget the exact context.
"... Milk doesn't come from cows."
Much blonde jokes were to be had, much to her sudden embarrasment.
Usually, though, it is myself who tends to fall prey to these moments. Unfortunately, the only case which I have not repressed the memory of is not forum safe, so yeah.

[Starfols]

Somebody: So you're Canadian, so you speak...French?
Me: No, I'm not from that part of Canada.
Somebody: Oh, right, most Canadians speak British.

The conversation was in English

"[Books] don't matter if the author's already dead!" even worse, she was defending Twilight.

[Groundhog]

Actually, that one is quite reasonable. After all if the power goes you may have lost the water heating as well.

And there are actually some places (usually on higher ground) where if the power's gone, there's no water either, due to the fact that the water needs to be pumped into the buildings.

One of my classmates said this during a pre-AP all-night study session:
"That is the saddest life that I've ever heard in my entire story."

[Haruki-kun]

One of my classmates said this during a pre-AP all-night study session:
"That is the saddest life that I've ever heard in my entire story."

Those are unbelievably common during or after all-nighters.

[JediSoth]

The first time my wife made REAL whipped cream for her step-daughter-in-law:

"Where's the can? Doesn't that come from cans?"

[Liffguard]

Boy to friend: "Was that your sister you were walking with?"
Friend: "No, that was my other sister"

I love this one, it's deliciously zen-like. One of those statements that's so completely nonsensical it almost comes across as profound.

My sister had a great one the other night. My family were chatting over dinner and for some reason carpentry had come up (don't ask me why, I can't remember).
Sister: Why are you talking about wood?
Us: Uh, because that's what carpenters work with.
Sister: No they don't, carpenters install carpets!

[faerwain]

I love this one, it's deliciously zen-like. One of those statements that's so completely nonsensical it almost comes across as profound.

Reminds of the old saying: "At home we boys were all named Fritz, expect of Thomas, his name was Klaus."

Well, the only one I remember at the moment was not overheard, but the actual masterwork of our local newspaper, who produced a lot of gems in their effort to sound professional.

Headline of the report about the investigation of a dead child:

"After the autopsy it's certain: Maria is dead."

And I assure this is not a made up by me, I still have the article.

[Asta Kask]

Well, the only one I remember at the moment was not overheard, but the actual masterwork of our local newspaper, who produced a lot of gems in their effort to sound professional.

Headline of the report about the investigation of a dead child:

"After the autopsy it's certain: Maria is dead."

Reminds me of the World's Funniest Joke:

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"

[Aedilred]

This one's stayed with me for what must be at least six years. I was working as a shelf-stacker and saw a woman go past with two relatively young children.

Child: Can we go to McDonald's now?
Mother (?): You can't go to McDonalds, you went there for lunch! We'll go to Burger King instead.

[RandomLunatic]

"After the autopsy it's certain: Maria is dead."

Reminds me of thsi transcript from a court proceeding:

Lawyer: "At what time did you autopsy the victim?"
Witness: "About 9:30 AM."
Lawyer: "And he was dead at this time, right?"
Witness: "No, he was sitting on my examining table, wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him."

[Pyrian]

Girl at a Sundae bar loads up her bowl with ice cream, whipped cream, fudge, and a cherry. Then she gets to the peanuts. "Should I put peanuts on this? ...No, nuts are fattening..."

[2xMachina]

Boy to friend: "Was that your sister you were walking with?"
Friend: "No, that was my other sister"

I love this one, it's deliciously zen-like. One of those statements that's so completely nonsensical it almost comes across as profound.

Well, he could have been referring to a specific sister, and they somehow knew which (past convos maybe).

[SensFan]

Girl at a Sundae bar loads up her bowl with ice cream, whipped cream, fudge, and a cherry. Then she gets to the peanuts. "Should I put peanuts on this? ...No, nuts are fattening..."

In line at McDonalds:

Woman - I'll get a double-quarterpounder with cheese combo and an extra double-quarterpounder sandwitch. Supersize the combo.
Cashier - What would you like to drink?
Woman - Diet coke.

[Asta Kask]

In line at McDonalds:

Woman - I'll get a double-quarterpounder with cheese combo and an extra double-quarterpounder sandwitch. Supersize the combo.
Cashier - What would you like to drink?
Woman - Diet coke.

She could be diabetic... always think the happy thoughts, because we don't want you strangling people.

[Eurus]

In line at McDonalds:

Woman - I'll get a double-quarterpounder with cheese combo and an extra double-quarterpounder sandwitch. Supersize the combo.
Cashier - What would you like to drink?
Woman - Diet coke.

See, I don't see that as being quite as nonsensical as most people make it out to be. Every calorie you're cutting back on with a diet soda is one more calorie you can eat of something you enjoy more. It's all about priorities.

[Fostire]

In line at McDonalds:

Woman - I'll get a double-quarterpounder with cheese combo and an extra double-quarterpounder sandwitch. Supersize the combo.
Cashier - What would you like to drink?
Woman - Diet coke.

Maybe she just prefers the taste of diet coke over regular coke.

[thubby]

Maybe she just prefers the taste of diet coke over regular coke.

no one like diet, that way lies madness.

[Supagoof]

no one like diet, that way lies madness.

I love diet, and I'm not insane. Shhhhhhhh! I'm posting to the interwebs.

[Don Julio Anejo]

"Are you a Mexi-can or a Mexi-can't?"

I'm going to use it on my Brazillian friends

[TheThan]

Actually, that one is quite reasonable. After all if the power goes you may have lost the water heating as well.

Unless you like cold showers, of course.

(Depends on how your house is set up, of course. Things like small hot water tanks, timed thermostats, on demand systems, electric water heating and so forth may cause trouble. I don't think I have lived in two houses that were heated in the same way...)

your forgetting wells. If you have a well and the power goes out, then your outta water. unless its like a propane or natural gas driven well.

So yeah, it is quite reasonable statement.

[Kobold-Bard]

...Headline of the report about the investigation of a dead child:

"After the autopsy it's certain: Maria is dead."

And I assure this is not a made up by me, I still have the article.

----------------
Spoken by Friend 1 at Friend 2's 21st b-day party:

"Yeah well it's my birthday next week so I'll be older than you again."

Yes its Friend 1 was 20 at the time. No Friend 1 is generally not an idiot. Hilarity ensued.

[Shas aia Toriia]

Wait, whaaaa. . . ?

[Solaris]

Wait, whaaaa. . . ?

It's best not to think about it too hard. Clearly, the editor didn't.

[Mando Knight]

Actually, that one is quite reasonable. After all if the power goes you may have lost the water heating as well.

Unless you like cold showers, of course.

(Depends on how your house is set up, of course. Things like small hot water tanks, timed thermostats, on demand systems, electric water heating and so forth may cause trouble. I don't think I have lived in two houses that were heated in the same way...)

And if you're not hooked up to the city water supply (i.e. you're on a well or something), losing the power may very well mean that you lose all running water as well.
...And TheThan beat me to it. Serves me right for not reading the whole thread.

[Lupy]

A little different but:

(At Lunch, at school, in a cafeteria with a tile floor)

ME: Hey Kaylee, what colour is grass?
*she looks down*
KAYLEE: Green?