More flumphs than you can shake a flindbar at: Let's Read the Tome of Horrors!

[Rappy]

Fire Snake
Hey, look, an Outsider! And a CR 1 individual at that! Doesn't this critter just beg for a summons? Fire snakes don't have much going for them stat-wise beyond a paralytic venom they can inject into your blood stream. No, where they really get interesting is in this line in the fluff:

Sages conjecture that fire snakes are some form of larval salamander from the Elemental Plane of Fire.

Now, for those of y'all out there that are rusty on your Monster Manual-ology, D&D's "salamanders" resemble spiky nagas (of the limbed variant) with elk antlers. That apparently come from snakes made out of fire. ...Sure, why not? There's weirder things out there.


Firefiend
The firefiend (not to be confused with the similarly named firefriend, who won't be making an appearance in this title) is a CR 7 Elemental whose appearance is that of a humanoid hunk of magma with three heads, three arms, and three legs, one of each on its three sides. I know I've seen that monster concept before, but I can't put my finger on it, so moving on.... Firefiends have 360 vision, wield three flaming longswords, and can spit lugees of molten pain. How's that for a random attack? What makes this monster truly memorable, though, is that while it can speak Ignan, all it does is constantly swear in that language. So...they're the sailors of the Elemental Plane of Fire?

Flail Snail
Unlike the firefiend, everyone who's looked into "silly monsters" has heard of this eccentricity at least once. I mean, really, the flail snail is hard to miss....it's a giant snail with four (plus one more for each additional hit die it gains) mace-balls on stalks! That disrupts magic! The random results aren't really that random, with three "the spell misfires and hits somebody, possibly the caster" results (I count rebound as a misfire, yes), "the spell works normally", and "nothing happens, you silly, stupid mage". But I won't hold that against the flail snail, it has an odd sort of charisma with its freakishly unnatural body and unique take on spell resistance. Also, it's shell can be sold for 3,000-5,000 gold pieces (for you monster body part traders keeping track out there), so I doubt the players would hate you that much for throwing one at them... That and they're light-sensitive, which again proves that having the daylight spell around is a godsend in the Underdark.

Flind
Flinds are gnolls. Stockier, more muscular, and slightly shorter gnolls. Stockier, more muscular, and slightly shorter gnolls that have human intellect and wield nunchuks. Okay, sure, they're called flindbars, but they're clearly nunchuks. Anyway, flinds are essentially the hobgoblins of the gnoll world, being stronger, fiercer, and all around better than your bog standard gnoll. Slavering orcs-with-fur hordes not good enough for you? Try the flind, they will command those hordes while smacking you in the head to death! Oh, and as an aside, while their favored class is Fighter, I imagine they'd do better as Clerics due to their intelligence; indeed, it is stated that they are clerics of Yeenoghu (although he is only referred to as "the Demon Prince of Gnolls" here, since unlike Orcus, Dagon, and others, Necromancer Games didn't get the rights for him).

Floating Eye
It's a fish...with a giant eyeball on its side! Their side-eye has a hypnotic power, but beyond that...yeah. They're CR 1/10 Magical Beasts, so they aren't exactly intimidating. I guess you could fluff it as a Beholder experiment gone wrong or something.

Flumph
And here it is, folks. The flumph. The one monster that every "silly monsters" article worth its questionably dated salt will mention. Anyone that reads the webcomic Order of the Stick (which you should, because...yeah) knows of these creatures as unfortunate landing pads...but what do you really know about the freaky flumph? Well, first of all, they're CR 1 Aberrations that are listed as "Always Lawful Good", yet they spend their days spearing small mammals for their foodstuffs. So...yeah. Secondly, they have two attacks: they can either spear you with their spiked tentacles and then spit acid in the wound or spray you with a nauseatingly smelly gunk. Alas, in spite of their rather unpleasant methods of attack, flipping a flumph over with a successful Grapple check renders it a helpless source of cheap XP.

[Steveotep]

Ah yes, the good old Tome of Horrors.

It is interesting to compare the stats here with the "official" Fiend Folio.

[Asbestos]

Fire Nymph
This CR 4 Fey is a nymph...with fire hair...that casts fire spells...and has intense body heat...and lives on the Plane of Fire. *Shrugs* Your guess on this one is as good as mine.

Sounds hot.
...

[Thurbane]

Beetle, Giant Death Watch
This beetle, on the other hand....meeeeh. It takes a real creature and fantasizes it up in the worst way as this human-sized CR 6 monstrosity. According to European folklore, death watch beetles know when someone is going to die and will make noise to proclaim that. Sure, that would have been an interesting idea, constant deathwatch effect. But no, they had to slap a "Fortitude save or you DIE!!" attack onto the giant death watch beetle. It's also immune to death-based effects, so while it can instakill you, you can't instakill it! Preposterously annoying.

The Banshee of Celtic myth got the same treatment in D&D - apparently, harbinger of death = death attack.

Bunyip
The Bunyip is one of my favorite beasts in the Dreamtime lore of the Australian aboriginal clans. You have this unspeakable creature whose appearance is supposedly such a horrid amalgamation of features no two descriptions can agree on what it looks like. It's a murderer who dwells in the deeps and commands the waters of the billabongs, a creator and a destroyer alike, the ultimate example of nature's primal chaos. So what does the Tome of Horrors present for us in their Bunyip? Why, a CR 4 Magical Beast that is a shark-bear hybrid with a blood-in-the-water-frenzy rage attack and a vorpal bite, of course!

...Damn you, Tome of Horrors, damn you. e.e

I remember back in our 1E days a particularly malicious DM in our group had one of these attack our characters for having the audacity to...wash in the river! That's right...we we're being punished for trying to be presentable before returning to town.

Oh, BTW, as an Aussie I always found the shark/seal hybrid version of the bunyip to be incredibly stoopid as well.

Drelb
Drelbs are CR 5 Outsiders that are meant solely to piss off Clerics; they resemble wraiths, but are not undead, and can warp its appearance to appear to be turned as an undead when it's actually standing still (and thus beating those that run after it over the head with its powers). Drelbs have a chilling touch that startles those that feel it and the ability to imitate any psionic power used within 30 feet of it....for...some reason. Meh.

I'm pretty sure these guys first apeared in the original ToEE module. I don't think they had any psionics connection - they were just there as a "gotcha" monster for clerics. They also make it into the ToEE PC game from Troika, but minus any signifcant special abilities.

Executioner's Hood
In the grand tradition of "things that look like stuff you wouldn't expect to kill you", the executioner's hood (a CR 2 Aberration) is a living executioner's hood. Surprised at that revelation, aren't you? Oh, but it gets weirder... While you'd expect a creature that looks like a hood to engulf and try to strangle its opponent, would you expect it to be weak to alcohol? Yes, alcohol. Wine, brandy, ale...all of it is listed as dealing 1 point of damage per quart poured on the executioner's hood. Oh, Dungeons and Dragons, how I love your wackiness...

IIRC, first appeared in the 1E Dungeonland (a D&D version of Alice in Wonderland). Pouring alcohol on attachy-type monsters was a pretty standard tack back in 1E, for some odd reason. Most adventurers had a wineskin in the standard gear for just such an eventuality.

...as a general note, some of the undead here (Bhuta & Bloody Bones) come from a 1E Halloween edition of Dragon. Had a really cool Easley cover of a skeleton with an axe smashing through a door, if memory serves.

Anyhow, loving this thread, thanks very much for the effort you are putting in here. As a fan of both ToH and the 1E sources that most of the beasties come from, it makes me very happy to read.

[Rappy]

Thanks for the kind comments. I'm lagging a bit lately since my grandmother is returning home from the hospital next week and I have to get things ready for her, but there should be a new entry before the day is said and done.

Also, the real fun should begin when we get to the appendices and I start rambling about the implausiblity of quippers and the question of why foxweres replace foxwomen/werefoxes in the Tome.

[tbarrie]

Sounds hot.
...

Yeah, I was going to say that this pun is probably the Fire Nymph's reason for existing.

[Terraoblivion]

I'd imagine that the Draug being based on the flying Dutchman despite being named after a viking ghost can come from something as simple as poor research. I am Danish myself and i find it somewhat puzzling how often people mix up Danish and Dutch. It seems likely that something similar happened here. Or perhaps they just decided to go with "sea ghost" and make something based on that, chucking all other aspects of the the mythological being out.

[PairO'Dice Lost]

The Banshee of Celtic myth got the same treatment in D&D - apparently, harbinger of death = death attack.

Well, if you're going to kill someone, you're certainly a harbinger of their death, now aren't you?

IIRC, first appeared in the 1E Dungeonland (a D&D version of Alice in Wonderland). Pouring alcohol on attachy-type monsters was a pretty standard tack back in 1E, for some odd reason. Most adventurers had a wineskin in the standard gear for just such an eventuality.

Probably because a lot of attachy-type monsters, most notably the mimic, specified that they attached with an adhesive that could be dissolved by a weak alcohol.

[Thurbane]

Well, if you're going to kill someone, you're certainly a harbinger of their death, now aren't you?

True, true...

Probably because a lot of attachy-type monsters, most notably the mimic, specified that they attached with an adhesive that could be dissolved by a weak alcohol.

Most likely - I'd forgotten the specifics, but I definitely remember a couple of 1E/2E monsters having that stipulation.

[Rappy]

Fly, Giant
For a creature designated as a refuse crawler, the CR 2 giant fly is actually fairly intimidating for a starter-level party. Sure, they may be only able to bite, but they are fairly quick on their feet and on the wing, and hunt in swarms of 6 to 11 individuals. I dunno about you, but I doubt I'd want to encounter half a dozen 6-foot long flies filling the air with their deafening buzzing.



Fogwarden
The fogwarden, a CR 6 Aberration, manages to epitomize itself as a glass cannon creature. In spite of its Challenge Rating, it only has 4 hit dice, and a barely above-average Constitution score. On the other hand...well, suffice to say, these fog-formed humanoid shapes have enough strong supernatural powers to back up their lack of staying power. Want a creature with a fear aura? The fogwarden has that. Want a non-vampire that can turn into mist, and as an added bonus create the undead? Yep, the fogwarden has that too. Not to mention that its skin crawls with electricity that damages metal that comes in contact with it and allows the warden to blast off lightning bolts. Of course, every great threat has an Achilles heel, and the fogwarden's is....sunlight. Seriously, you'd think that spellcasters would just heft around the daylight spell on every adventure they undergo, considering how many monsters are weak to sunlight.



Forester's Bane
Also known as the snapper saw, the forester's bane is a carnivorous bush with serrated stalks within its heavyset leaves. It also has colorful and enticingly-scented berries to lure in prey to engulf and flagellate until said prey as dead. While I don't have much to say on it, I'd say that while it may not quite be worth the Challenge Rating of 5 it is granted, this plant is a nice addition to those that wish to have a sensible ecology game (it's not like the real world hasn't shown us enough predators with lures to provide ideas for utilization).



Forlarren
"This creature resembles a hairless satyr." Well...that's not a monster entry opener you see every day. Anyway, forlarrens are nymph-daemon hybrids, spiteful of their own existence and driven to attack anyone and anything that crosses their path. It is stated that forlarrens cannot truly make friends, as their fey nature is overriden by the 'inherent bloodlust' of their daemon side. Forlarrens can cast heat metal once per day. Unless you want a low-level Fey encounter (CR 2, specifically) or a monster with an innate struggle with her very nature, then I'm afraid there's not much the forlarren can offer you.



Frog, Monstrous
And hey, it's another animal outside of the "Animals" appendix! Who would have thought? Anyway, the 'monstrous' frogs actually include one perfectly mundane frog (the CR 1 poison dart frog, referred to as the "Poisonous Frog"), three oversized frogs (the size Small CR 1 killer frog, the size Medium CR 2 giant frog, and the size Large CR 4 "giant dire frog"), and an Outsider known as the abyssal dire frog, a CR 5 monster that seems like it would be more fitting amongst the demons or in a sidebar with the Tasthogga, the demon-god of frogs. Suffice to say, monstrous frogs are nice for utility, but bland for commentary.



Froghemoth
What has a single eye stalk, tentacles, and lives in fetid waters? Well....technically, that would be describing the dianoga from Star Wars, but no! It's the froghemoth, a CR 13 Aberration that spits in the face of all that is good and just in the world. With a single, glaring eye stalk, four tentacles instead of its front legs, a tongue that can lash out and suction you into the beast's gullet, and a pseudo-immunity to electrical attack (they produce a slow effect, so it's not a complete loss), the froghemoth is a nightmare of unnatural nature that could actually provide a decent challenge to mid-level players if used right. If I recall correctly, there was a larval form of the froghemoth, but it is (alas) neither statted nor mentioned in the Tome.

[The Tygre]

Huh, I just noticed... Are you going to be covering the demons and devils section later? And I think Froghemoth larvae got a PF update in Kobold Quarterly.

[Rappy]

Huh, I just noticed... Are you going to be covering the demons and devils section later? And I think Froghemoth larvae got a PF update in Kobold Quarterly.

Ah, thanks.

And yeah, the demons and devils will be getting their own treatment, as if they were an appendix (they aren't, but their section is tediously long, so they might as well be).

[Thurbane]

If I recall correctly, there was a larval form of the froghemoth, but it is (alas) neither statted nor mentioned in the Tome.

Indeed there was, the Tadhemoth!

http://www.d20pfsrd.com/bestiary/mon...s/-t/tadhemoth

[Eldan]

Biting flies?

FAIL!

[Debihuman]

Think of the flies as horseflies...and yes flies do bite.

Debby

[Eldan]

With some rare exceptions in the most primitive groups of Diptera...
No, they don't. They have no jaws.

[Rappy]

Think of the flies as horseflies...and yes flies do bite.

Debby

Actually, considering there are separate stats for a giant horsefly in one of the other Tome of Horrors volumes ((II, I think, but I'd have to check), and the fact that giant flies are described as staying near trash and refuse, would seem to indicate that these are giant houseflies.

EDIT: Nope, giant horseflies are in Tome of Horrors III, my mistake.

[hamishspence]

Could be one of the many species of "biting flies" which actually impale with needle mouthpart, rather than slashing with mandibles.

Unless there are already stats for giant mosquitoes, gnats, midges, blackfly and so on.

[Rappy]

Could be one of the many species of "biting flies" which actually impale with needle mouthpart, rather than slashing with mandibles.

Unless there are already stats for giant mosquitoes, gnats, midges, blackfly and so on.

The art and fluff makes it out to be a housefly. However, DM's word could always overwrite this to pass the whole "why is the big housefly biting me?" question.

[Eldan]

"It's a horse-sized housefly with a set of gigantic mandibles!"
"..."
"Shuddup. It's a half-wasp fly. A wizard did it."

[Rappy]

"It's a horse-sized housefly with a set of gigantic mandibles!"
"..."
"Shuddup. It's a half-wasp fly. A wizard did it."

Funny enough, there is a template in this book that could produce a wasp-fly...but the Templates Appendix is still a ways off, so we'd best get going.

----------------

Frost Man
Did you ever want a race of Neanderthal-like men that could fire ice beams from their right eye, which is kept under an eyepatch most of the time? No? Well, you're getting them with this book anyway. The frost men (who, like the crabmen, do have women and children, but...eh) are a group of arctic warriors that prefer to remain to themselves. You are likely to be attacked on sight for disturbing a frost man, granting the race the coveted title of "Usually cannon fodder Evil" race for the areas too cold for your standard orcs or goblinoids. I guess if you want a low-level cold weather encounter, the CR 2 frost men would be fitting for you.



Gambado
The gambado quite fits is designation as a creature of the Aberration type. It's sort of....kind of like....well, just look.

The gambado is a human-sized creature with a cylindrical torso topped by a humanoid skull-like head. Two long arms ending in razor-sharp claws protrude from the body. Its torso ends in three long, single-toed feet. Its body is gray in color and leathery and can be compressed like a spring. This is its primary means of locomotion. By compressing its body, the gambado can spring up or forward.

Beyond its freakish appearance, though, the gambado isnt' really that special. It's a CR 3 encounter that sits in its lair until something gets too close, then attacks with its teeth and claws. Eh.



Gargoyle
Three gargoyles are presented in the Tome (all, strangely enough, Magical Beasts rather than Monstrous Humanoids as the 3E gargoyle itself is, but otherwise mostly matching the Monster Manual beast), the first being one that should bring up some tears and bad memories. The four-armed gargoyle is a CR 4 encounter that reads pretty much like a standard gargoyle, only with two more claw attacks. Why then, you must be wondering, is it so painful? Well...it originally appeared in the Tomb of Horrors. Similarly, the green guardian is a CR 4 gargoyle with few alterations from your standard gargoyle...with two big exceptions. One is that, unless its gemstone eyes are destroyed, the green guardian will simply reanimate after about a week. Second, two successful claw attacks induce a hold person SLA on the poor assaulted adventurer. Nasty.

Then there's the margoyle. With 6 rather than the standard 4 gargoyle Hit Die, more powerful attacks, but not much else, they are essentially the gargoyle version of hobgoblins or flinds. Indeed, it is stated that the "meaner, eviler, and deadlier" (their words, not mine) margoyles are the de facto leader of most gargoyle get-togethers.

[Eldan]

I had wondered where the Margoyle in ADOM came from.

[Thurbane]

Frost Man
Did you ever want a race of Neanderthal-like men that could fire ice beams from their right eye, which is kept under an eyepatch most of the time? No? Well, you're getting them with this book anyway. The frost men (who, like the crabmen, do have women and children, but...eh) are a group of arctic warriors that prefer to remain to themselves. You are likely to be attacked on sight for disturbing a frost man, granting the race the coveted title of "Usually cannon fodder Evil" race for the areas too cold for your standard orcs or goblinoids. I guess if you want a low-level cold weather encounter, the CR 2 frost men would be fitting for you.

I always got a laugh when I flicked past their entry in the 1E FF. The illustration basically looked like a caveman in sunglasses! AFB, but do they look like that in ToH?

Gambado
The gambado quite fits is designation as a creature of the Aberration type. It's sort of....kind of like....well, just look.

Beyond its freakish appearance, though, the isnt' really that special. It's a CR 3 encounter that sits in its lair until something gets too close, then attacks with its teeth and claws. Eh.

Another 1E FF monster - I think it was supposed to be another "gotcha" beastie. It wears the skull of another creature, so at first glance, you think "Undead! Quick, turn!"

Spoiler

Show

[Rappy]

I always got a laugh when I flicked past their entry in the 1E FF. The illustration basically looked like a caveman in sunglasses! AFB, but do they look like that in ToH?

The Tome's illustration makes them look like Neanderthal Vikings with pirate eye patches. Which is somehow simultaneously silly and epic.

Another 1E FF monster - I think it was supposed to be another "gotcha" beastie. It wears the skull of another creature, so at first glance, you think "Undead! Quick, turn!"

Ahh, that's make sense. And while the Tome's illustration of the gambado is more detailed, I must admit that the FF illustration you showed is better in my opinion. The one in the ToH is jumping out of a bush in a way that makes it look like it has a rigid pole stuck in its body.

[The Tygre]

Fun fact; 'Gambado' is derived from the Italian word 'gambale' or 'gamba', which means 'leg'.

[Thurbane]

Ahh, that's make sense. And while the Tome's illustration of the gambado is more detailed, I must admit that the FF illustration you showed is better in my opinion. The one in the ToH is jumping out of a bush in a way that makes it look like it has a rigid pole stuck in its body.

I think that makes at least 3 undead-impersonating "gotcha" monsters that you've listed so far - Adherer (Mummy), Drelb (Shadow/Wraith) and Gambado (Skeleton/Wight).

I'd almost forgotten how fond early editions were of having trick monsters that looked like one thing but were actually something esle. Of course, a lot of these made it into core 3.X anyway (Mimics, Cloaker etc.).

[Rappy]

Fun fact; 'Gambado' is derived from the Italian word 'gambale' or 'gamba', which means 'leg'.

That would explain things....sort of. Anyway, we're trudging onward, since I've gotten my steam back as of late and don't wish to slow down when we've nearly passed the halfway mark.

----------------

Ghoul-Stirge
Part ghoul, part stirge, all meh.



Giant, Sand
20 feet of tanned skin, muscle, and dreadlocks (!), the mighty sand giants are desert tribespeople that, of course, bully those that are smaller than themselves. They can create earthquakes, soften the earth, and make stony fists rise from the desert sands. Alas, their role as archetypical desert bandits, only larger, makes these CR 14 giants a bit less interesting than other species. Personally, I would have preferred the desert giants from the old Monstrous Manual, since they had some interesting spiritualist aspects.



Giant, Wood
Elves, only supersized! The CR 5 wood giants, also known as the Voadkyn, seem to exist just to prove that there is something out there that can out-elf the elves. They are masterful archers with resistance to enchantments, the ability to take the appearance of any humanoid or giant between 3 and 15 feet in height (the wood giants themselves are 9 feet tall, making them one of the shorter giants), and superb hiding and silent movement in spite of their size. Wood giant villages are sparsely built upon because they, and I quote "prefer to spend their time under the warmth of the day and the serenity of the night." So...yeah.



Gloomwing
Another giant moth, this CR 4 Outsider is the adult form of the tenebrous worm, a creature we'll meet much later in this book. In traditional "why must you make us suffer?" fashion, the gloomwing other lays her eggs in a living creature, which will later be devoured from the inside out by her worm children (but more on them later). In addition, in combat, a gloomwing's....well, wings...produce a confusion effect and its body releases a pheremone that deals minor Strength damage. Of course, that can't be all, can it? Nope. The pheremone also happens to attract other gloomwings via summons for even more painful implanting fun!

----------------

Up next time, we'll get to meet six golems and one of the other few beholderkin that managed to make it into the world of Open Game Content.

[Rappy]

Golem, Blood
Blood golems (no relation to the Ravenloft construct of the same name) are one of those monsters. You know, the ones that will confuse the heck out of you when you first see them. This is primarily because the blood golem...isn't a golem. Yeah, you heard that right, it's a golem-that-isn't. Instead, the blood golem is a CR 5 Aberration that is a slug-shaped heap of clotted blood. What makes things even weirder is that its abilities are a mish-mash between fitting (fast healing), ooze-like (the ability to split in half into two lesser versions of itself), and golem-like (having a specific spell...in this case, purify food and drink...harm it). Yeah...your guess is as good as mine what they were thinking with this creature. On the other hand, it's not the weirdest creature to hold the title of golem; if I'm crazy enough to go through the other two Tomes of Horrors after this one...which I am...we'll meet such eccentricities as the flagstone golem, gelatin golem, and the mummy golem (I see what you mean about undead mimicry being popular, Thurbane).



Golem, Ice
Do you really need me to explain this one? There are so many ice golems out there that you could easily pick and choose hem at your whim. This particular one has a Challenge Rating of 5, a cold breath weapon, and a chilly aura. Oh, and it's slowed by electricity damage...for...some reason.



Golem, Stone Guardian
Like the caryatid column from way back in the earlier portions of the book, the stone guardian is a variant stone golem. Also like the column, the stone guardian is much weaker than a true stone golem, being made out of mud with some stone patched in rather than fully stony. This CR 4 hulk has a remote control ring of command that wards the owner from the its mindless assaults and the ability to see invisible creatures. Unsurpsingly, stone guardians are usually used as....guardians. If they really wanted another stone golem variant that badly, I personally would have preferred the Juggernaut.



Golem, Tallow
Good old wax figure-based constructs, fun stuff. While this CR 8 nightmare may not be as frightening as Ravenloft's wax golem, the tallow golem does have the benefit of being able to suction chemicals from the human body going for it.



Golem, Wood
Ornately carved, easily flammable, and capable of letting out a screech of alarm to warn its master....ah, wood golems, you are so delightfully quirky.



Gorbel
Last but not least in our morning entry is the gorbel, another beholderkin that managed to slither its way into Open Game Content. In this case, however, your results my vary on whether or not that's a good thing. The gorbel is essentially the unwanted inbred cousin of the beholder world. It may look like a (somewhat deformed) beholder, but it lacks any magical ability and relies on its stubby little clawed arms for defense, smells of sulfur, and uses its mouth for....other bodily functions as well. Oh, and if you pierce or slash it, it must make a Fortitude save or die in a violent explosion. Fun, huh?

----------------

Tonight, we'll have two hybridous horrors, a pair of unique outsiders, frogs, frights, and freaks.

[Eldan]

How does a thing like the Gorbel ever survive past childhood? I mean, they slice themselves with a kitchen knife (I know, I know, beholders don't do that), and they explode?

[2xMachina]

They scratch themselves on a sharp stone and they explode.

Hopefully, they don't have shrapnel, or you get chain explosions.