More flumphs than you can shake a flindbar at: Let's Read the Tome of Horrors!

[Rappy]

I like the Moon Dog...it was a monster that emerged back in the days when a good creature that would help the party was a genuine rarity. And I like dogs...

Ah, I figured it was probably an edition dissonance. Thanks for that note, Thurbane.

[Rappy]

Mustard Jelly
Hey, we're back to the "monster+" theme already! This CR 7 Ooze is billed as a relative of the ochre jelly, and is essentially that creature on steroids. In addition to what jelly traits you'd expect, the mustard jelly has damage reduction, a foul aura of slowing poison, and immunity to electricity and magic missiles (indeed, magic missiles actually increase its hit points), and above all an Intelligence score on par with a human's. Now, while I could just stop right there because...well, to be honest, what can I tell you about jellies that you don't already know?...there is one footnote from the Monstrous Manual of old that the Tome of Horrors forgot to mention: the fact that all the mustard jellies in the world are the result of a failed attempt by a spellcaster to polymorph herself into an ochre jelly. Why exactly one would want to become an ochre jelly, of all things, is beyond me, but...hey, there it is.



Necrophidius
Here we have another monster designed to be part of the great arsenal that is the legendary "DM's Middle Finger to Clerics". It resembles a snake skeleton with a human skull on the end of it; surely it must be undead, right?

WRONG!! It's actually a CR 3 Construct, a strange serpentine golem that (IIRC) originated in Ravenloft*. In addition to having a paralytic bite, the necrophidius has either a daze or confusion spell-like ability, depending on whether it's made from a constrictor (or average viper) or a rattlesnake respectively. All in all, while somewhat novel, the necrophidius certainly isn't my first choice when I think of undead-themed golems, but...eh, not my book, not my choices.

*I have since noticed that the Fiend Folio has seniority on Ravenloft for the necrophidius.

[2xMachina]

Hmm, so a failed attempt to polymorph into a jelly makes you a stronger jelly? And permanently too it seems.

Why not try for dragons? You turn into an even better dragon if it fails!

[Eldan]

Also, more intelligent. The idea is interesting.

So, if you try to polymorph into a red dragon, can you become a time dragon instead?

[nyjastul69]

Necrophidius
Here we have another monster designed to be part of the great arsenal that is the legendary "DM's Middle Finger to Clerics". It resembles a snake skeleton with a human skull on the end of it; surely it must be undead, right?

WRONG!! It's actually a CR 3 Construct, a strange serpentine golem that (IIRC) originated in Ravenloft.

It originally appeared in the 1e Fiend Folio.

[BobVosh]

I like the moon dog and mummy :(

The snake is kinda interesting, but seems pointless to build.

[Eldan]

Also it's a stupid name. Death Snake. Great.

[The Tygre]

Also it's a stupid name. Death Snake. Great.

Coming this Summer! Only on the Most Dangerous Night on Television!

[Shademan]

Also it's a stupid name. Death Snake. Great.

how about "death-cobra"?

COOOOOOOBRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAA!

[Mulletmanalive]

Why exactly one would want to become an ochre jelly, of all things, is beyond me, but...hey, there it is.

Squeeze under a door, slide silently up a dude's bedposts, dissolve both him and the bed, slither out. No trace, no leftovers, it's as if the victim just melted randomly in the night.

I think that's a pretty solid assassination strategy right there and no teleport or scry traces to follow back to you...

[senrath]

I think the real question is does the Mustard Jelly taste like mustard?

[Rappy]

It originally appeared in the 1e Fiend Folio.

I would say I found this surprising, but...I don't.

I like the moon dog and mummy :(

I'm alright with the moon dog, but I still can't fathom the deep mummy. It seems antithetical of the very idea of a mummy, and it's not like it's a bog mummy-style corpse either...it's the literal shriveled-corpse style mummy.

Squeeze under a door, slide silently up a dude's bedposts, dissolve both him and the bed, slither out. No trace, no leftovers, it's as if the victim just melted randomly in the night.

I think that's a pretty solid assassination strategy right there and no teleport or scry traces to follow back to you...

I imagine there are better ways to assassinate than an ochre jelly when it comes to polymorphing, but I see your point.

-------------------------

Nereid
In the grand tradition of "beautiful things will murder you", nereids are venomous (!) fey that can spit poison at you, enthrall you, or if they're particularly sadistic...ugh, flash backs to the deep mummy...kiss you before expelling water into your lungs to damage you. Oh, and if that wasn't enough, she can control and transmute the very waters she is formed from. And don't worry if you're a female adventurer, we don't get to escape the wrath of the nereid either; a nereid can take the shape of any female or male humanoid of Medium size, just to make them all the more sadistic. And why do the Chaotic Neutral nereids do such violent acts? Because they are "honeyed ones" that deal inappropriate vengeance against those that "steal a glance or kiss" from them, not for stealing the sea-shawl that contains their life force or anything logical like that. Of course, as we all know, Chaotic Neutral means "absolutely nutty as a fruitcake"...



Nilbog
As should be no surprise to you, nilbogs are goblins from the Plane of Water.

...Okay, okay, yes, as you all really probably guessed, nilbogs are nega-goblins. These quirky little critters are mostly what you'd expect from a goblin, but have a confusion-inducing aura and that ever-popular "healed by damage, hurt by healing spells" effect. All in all, this is more one of those "I could mold this creature into something interesting" types rather than a "must use now!" type.

As a final aside on these strange goblinoids, if I recall, there was a similar trollish creature called the llort. Perhaps there are also cros, fles, frawds, and emongs out there too.

[Thurbane]

Why exactly one would want to become an ochre jelly, of all things, is beyond me, but...hey, there it is.

Much better to be an Ogre Jelly!

[Makiru]

These quirky little critters are mostly what you'd expect from a goblin, but have a confusion-inducing aura and that ever-popular "healed by damage, hurt by healing spells" effect. All in all, this is more one of those "I could mold this creature into something interesting" types rather than a "must use now!" type.

Favored Environment: Tomb of Horrors.

[Fhaolan]

Perhaps there are also cros, fles, frawds, and emongs out there too.

There was Cros, if I remember correctly, in a 2nd edition SpellJammer Monstrous Compendium thingy.

[Eldan]

I think they were called Scro.

Anyway, I like the name frawd. Pronounced like "fraud".

[Rappy]

I think they were called Scro.

Hm. I knew about the llorts, but not the scro.

Anyway, I like the name frawd. Pronounced like "fraud".

That was the appeal of it to me. They are literally dwarven frauds, so frawd is a fitting reverse-name.

[Mulletmanalive]

I imagine there are better ways to assassinate than an ochre jelly when it comes to polymorphing, but I see your point.

I'd agree if you'd said "better ways to kill" but leaving no evidence of your presence and no body to hunt you with strikes me as a better option with polymorph than just being able to kick in the door and rip him limb from limb. Bear in mind, this is polymorph so no [su] or [sp] abilities.

[Rappy]

Obsidian Minotaur
Have you ever wanted a huge hunk of black rock hewn into the shape of a minotaur and animated into a fire-handed golem with a Dexterity-draining breath weapon?

...I doubt it, but if you have for whatever reason, it's here and it's a rather nasty CR 8 encounter.



Ogre, Half-
For whatever reason, these human-ogre hybrids have had a popular following in the d20 system, judging how often they've appeared. In addition to being present here, they have been in several WOTC-producing D&D books as well as a playable species in the d20 Modern book Urban Arcana, which was the first (and one of only two) full campaign settings released for the game by Wizards of the Coast themselves. What does this particular variant bring to the table? Well, comparing it to two other half-ogres presented, let's find out.

• The half-ogre in Urban Arcana has +10 Strength, -2 Dexterity, +4 Constitution, -2 Intelligence, and -2 Charisma, as well as having 4 natural hit dice and being size Large humanoids (a rarity, considering those are usually auto-classed as giants).
• The half-ogre in the Tome of Horrors have +6 Strength, +4 Constitution, -2 Intelligence, and -2 Charisma, and are size Medium humanoids with 2 natural hit dice. Definitely weaker, but also a more player-friendly option.
• The half-ogre in Savage Species...well, obviously I can't state that piece by piece since it's not Open Game Content like the other two I've noted, but suffice to say they seem to be the middle ground between the two, with most of the ability scores of the Tome of Horrors version but the size of the Urban Arcana version.

Which one would I personally recommend? Well, from my personal standpoint, the Urban Arcana version is my favorite from a DM/GM standpoint, but the Tome of Horrors one definitely wins for player friendliness.



Ogrillion
Another half-ogre, but instead of having human blood, the ogrillion is the spawn of a male ogre and female orc. Oh yes, there is a different variant for a male orc and a female ogre, similar to the whole liger/tigon variation in reality...but that's a story for another entry. Suffice to say, the ogrillion is plenty like the half-ogre. It is a 2 HD Medium-size Humanoid like the half-ogre, it has +4 Constitution and -2 Charisma penalties of the half-ogre, and it is has the "both parent's blood"-type trait like the half-ogre. The only major difference is that the ogrillion has traded an extra 2 penalty points in Intelligence for a grand total of+8 in Strength. It also has a -2 penalty to Wisdom, but there's no real net gain for that one. Its only major claim to fame is its Reinforced Fists special quality, which lets its unarmed strikes be considered armed weapons and deal lethal rather than nonlethal damage. Otherwise, there's not really that much special here beyond some potential ecology-building if you have an orc- and giant-heavy campaign.

[Thurbane]

Ogre, Half-
For whatever reason, these human-ogre hybrids have had a popular following in the d20 system, judging how often they've appeared. In addition to being present here, they have been in several WOTC-producing D&D books as well as a playable species in the d20 Modern book Urban Arcana, which was the first (and one of only two) full campaign settings released for the game by Wizards of the Coast themselves. What does this particular variant bring to the table? Well, comparing it to two other half-ogres presented, let's find out.

• The half-ogre in Urban Arcana has +10 Strength, -2 Dexterity, +4 Constitution, -2 Intelligence, and -2 Charisma, as well as having 4 natural hit dice and being size Large humanoids (a rarity, considering those are usually auto-classed as giants).
• The half-ogre in the Tome of Horrors have +6 Strength, +4 Constitution, -2 Intelligence, and -2 Charisma, and are size Medium humanoids with 2 natural hit dice. Definitely weaker, but also a more player-friendly option.
• The half-ogre in Savage Species...well, obviously I can't state that piece by piece since it's not Open Game Content like the other two I've noted, but suffice to say they seem to be the middle ground between the two, with most of the ability scores of the Tome of Horrors version but the size of the Urban Arcana version.

Which one would I personally recommend? Well, from my personal standpoint, the Urban Arcana version is my favorite from a DM/GM standpoint, but the Tome of Horrors one definitely wins for player friendliness.

I have much love for 1/2 Ogres - my group has been playing them since our AD&D 1E days. The earliest mention of them I can remember was in an issue of Dragon (article was called "Smiting him hip and thigh"), reprinted in Best of Dragon Vol 1 from memory.

FYI - in 3.X, the official 1/2 Ogre has been officially updated from 3.0 Savage Species in 3.5 Races of Destiny. They got more LA, so less fun to play, but level buyoff is an option.

I believe there was also a 3.0 Dragon Mag that has 1/2 Ogre as a template, rather than a race.

My fave 1/2 Ogre was Massive Ferguson, my 2E 1/2 Ogre Fighter.

[BobVosh]

I have much love for 1/2 Ogres - my group has been playing them since our AD&D 1E days. The earliest mention of them I can remember was in an issue of Dragon (article was called "Smiting him hip and thigh"), reprinted in Best of Dragon Vol 1 from memory.

FYI - in 3.X, the official 1/2 Ogre has been officially updated from 3.0 Savage Species in 3.5 Races of Destiny. They got more LA, so less fun to play, but level buyoff is an option.

I believe there was also a 3.0 Dragon Mag that has 1/2 Ogre as a template, rather than a race.

My fave 1/2 Ogre was Massive Ferguson, my 2E 1/2 Ogre Fighter.

Dragonlance had a fairly player friendly 1/2 ogre.

Also the obsidian minotaur is pretty neat to imagine what it looks like.

[hamishspence]

I believe there was also a 3.0 Dragon Mag that has 1/2 Ogre as a template, rather than a race.

Actually it was very early 3.5- I think it was either issue 313 or 314.

[Rappy]

Also the obsidian minotaur is pretty neat to imagine what it looks like.

I will admit that, in spite of its oddness, the obsidian minotaur is a pretty awesome way of saying "Wizard lives here, keep out".

-------------------------

Oliphant
Like halflings, orcs, and treants, the oliphant draws its inspiration from Lord of the Rings. Unlike the mumakil, however, oliphants are more or less just mastodons with an Intelligence score of 6...that are still of the Animal type in spite of said intelligence.

...Huh?



Ooze, Crystal
A water-dependent, transparent variant of gray ooze. Wee.



Ooze, Magma
A CR 7 ooze that deals fire damage instead of acid damage. Weeee.



Ooze, Mercury
An ooze that can give you mercury poisoning. Weeeeee.



Ooze, Undead
A foul black goo made of necromantic energy and rotting bodies, swirling across the ground and dealing cold damage as it expels skeletons to combat its foes. Wee-wait. That actually is rather novel. On top of being of the Undead type (it's in the name, after all), we have a CR 6 ooze that is not only intelligent, but actually uses the gunk its made up of as a strategy for raising skeletal hordes to fight for it!

...Oh. Says here it's from the Creature Collection, not a converted 1E or 2E D&D ooze. No wonder it was so novel.

[senrath]

...I think I'm gonna use the Undead Ooze in my next campaign.

[Rappy]

Ooze, Vampiric
Because you can never have enough oooooooze!

This creature is essentially an undead ochre jelly that can create zombies from people it kills, for some reason. And command them in spite of having Intelligence -. To be honest, I prefer the template version of Vampiric Oozes from Silverthorne Games, myself, but that's just me.



Orog
Orogs are the opposite of ogrillions, being the result of a union between a male orc and female ogre. For some unfathomable reason, this combination of Intelligence-penaltied species results in a creature that has a base Intelligence score of 10, just like humans. Why?

...I'm not sure, really. All the other traits of the orog fit, like a powerful Strength and Constitution bonus and a penalty to Wisdom and Charisma, but having an intellect above the average of both of its parents stumps me. I guess you could explain it as a fantasy version of hybrid vigor, but that doesn't quite fit. ...Hmm...

You know, actually, I may have an idea. What if, rather than the sages' suspection of ogrillions and orogs being the results of gender-flipped mated pairs, they are actually the progeny of different subpecies? Perhaps the ogrillions are your bog standard ogre-orcs, while the smarter, militaristic orogs are part ogre mage?

[Rappy]

Pech
Pulled from Scottish legend, the pech are gnome-like fey known for being small, earth-attuned, and strong for their stature. They certainly live up to their legendary counterparts in that facet, too, having a Strength score of 19 in spite of being size Small. In addition to their prodigious strength, pechs gain attack bonuses both against opponents that are fully on the ground along with the pech and against opponents made out of stone and earth (which happen to usually be rather heavy and thus connected to the ground, so double score!), are immune to petrification, and they can shape and speak with stones. Groups of pechs can do even more; four pechs can cast wall of stone, while eight pechs can cast stone to flesh, making groups of pechs being creatures you want to have on your side. Thankfully, like so many D&D creatures, they have light sensitivity, once again giving a touchdown to the spellcaster who stocked up on light spells.



Phantom Stalker
In spite of its name, the phantom stalker isn't a phantom, merely a strange fire elemental. It can shapeshift and explodes in a damaging fireball when killed, deals fire damage (duh), and is healed by fire, but otherwise..well, there's not much to say. Really, the main reason they exist can be summed up by the fact that the majority of their fluff is merely saying that they are usually only seen when summoned by use of summon nature's ally IV.



Phycomid
Fear the crawling patch of CR 4 mushrooms, for it can infect you with its spores and turn your corpse into a phycomid colony!

[BobVosh]

Ooze, Undead
A foul black goo made of necromantic energy and rotting bodies, swirling across the ground and dealing cold damage as it expels skeletons to combat its foes. Wee-wait. That actually is rather novel. On top of being of the Undead type (it's in the name, after all), we have a CR 6 ooze that is not only intelligent, but actually uses the gunk its made up of as a strategy for raising skeletal hordes to fight for it!

...Oh. Says here it's from the Creature Collection, not a converted D&D ooze. No wonder it was so novel.

If I ever use this creature it will move by means of skeletal arms reaching out to drag it across the floor.

Why are all oozes so bland though? Although I will always like the iconic gel. cube simply because its main threat to you is if you walk into it.

Phycomid
Fear the crawling patch of CR 4 mushrooms, for it can infect you with its spores and turn your corpse into a phycomid colony!

...How does a mushroom crawl, or even a patch of em?

[Rappy]

If I ever use this creature it will move by means of skeletal arms reaching out to drag it across the floor.

Why are all oozes so bland though? Although I will always like the iconic gel. cube simply because its main threat to you is if you walk into it.

There are some more interesting oozes out there. For example: the d20 Modern equivalent of the Monster Manual, appropriately entitled the Menace Manual, has an intelligent, bodysnatching ooze called the Satanic Ichor.

...How does a mushroom crawl, or even a patch of em?

Through Science Magic, of course!

[Eldan]

Well, look up slime molds. Technically unicellular fungi several centimeters across, which crawl like amoeba, or form a network of tubes. They've always been my model for oozes.

[Rappy]

Well, look up slime molds. Technically unicellular fungi several centimeters across, which crawl like amoeba, or form a network of tubes. They've always been my model for oozes.

Funny enough, there is a fantasy-ized slime mold in one of the other volumes of Tome of Horrors, so oozes go full circle in a way. But let's not jump the gun and discuss that, we've still got a good chunk of this one left!

-------------------------

Poltergeist
Unless you have no real experience with ghost stories, the fundamental idea of the poltergeist monster should be familiar to you: an invisible, incorporeal creature that throws stuff around like it's having an undead temper tantrum. While carrying a challenge rating of 2, the poltergeist is more of a nuisance than a nightmare. Sure, it has a fear aura and can toss stuff, but unless it has a ready supply of large objects to toss, it won't be doing much damage to you. The only way you'd be likely to die by the telekinetic hand of a poltergeist would be if you had no way of attacking incorporeal creatures, were too stupid to just leave its area of haunting, and had unimpressive hit points.



Protector
Essentially an exalted monk (but not an Exalted monk; you're in the wrong thread if you want that), these CR 7 Outsiders are bald, robed men of the Lawful Neutral persuasion that happen to be able to walk on air, sense your alignment, and cast spells as a Cleric of their hit dice count (7th for a basic Protector). They are essentially the angels of Law, presumably working in tandem with the Modrons for the greater good Law.

...Did I mention Laaaaaaw enough yet?



Pudding, Brown
Brown puddings are a variant of the black pudding. I use "variant" rather loosely as the only differences I notice are one (just one) extra hit die and living in marshes instead of underground. Weeeeee.



Pudding, Dun
A variant of the black pudding that has two less hit die and one less point of Constitution and lives in any warm land, but is otherwise unremarkable and similar to the black pudding. Weeeeeeee.



Pudding, White
Lives in the cold, has one less hit die and one less point of Constitution. It at least has a camouflage bonus when in the snow to make it barely more tolerable than the other black pudding variants that get an entire page each...