Let's Play: MSPaint Adventure: GenGame!

[Draconi Redfir]

>MG: finally show up with a badarse weapon, and wonder how BH and SM haven’t beaten the easiest boss in the game yet.

[Mewtarthio]

BH & SM: Activate TACTICAL TEAMWORK! Send SM to attack the BOSS'S RIGHT FLANK while BH slips around the BOSS'S LEFT FLANK and through the hole behind the BOSS ROGUE!

[Gralamin]

>BH - OH GOD STEALTH AND HIDE
>SM - Notice "Boss bar" below, and try to attack it.

[AgentPaper]

> SM: Assume EMANCIPATED EARWIG STANCE, holding your CALIBRATING CLAYMORE at the ready.




You quickly assume the EMANCIPATED EARWIG STANCE, which is a rather nonsensical name for a rather impractical and seemingly arbitrary way to hold your swords. Looks kinda cool at least.

BH seems to be moving to cover your flanks. Good thing you've got such a great teammate to help you deal with this monstrosity.

> ==>

[AgentPaper]

> ==>




The EMANCIPATED EARWIG STANCE increases your parry chance by ludicrous amounts! You wouldn't think parrying bullets would work, but I guess this IS a video game. MG probably could have told you that.

You're not sure how long you can keep this up. Hopefully BH will think of something. Surely she's gone invisible and gotten behind the BOSS for a backstab by now.

> BH: Back away slowly as fast as your legs can carry you.

[AgentPaper]

> BH: Back away slowly as fast as your legs can carry you.




You get the hell out of dodge.

Which leads you into a room with a massive CANNON, which happens to be pointed right down the HALLWAY you just came out of. There also seems to be plenty of CANNONBALLS and GUNPOWDER BARRELS lying around.

Unfortunately, there is also an abundance of DISTORTIONS in this room, rendering much of it's contents unusable.

> BH: Roll undistorted POWDER BARREL down the hall.

[Roy III]

BH: Yell "CANNONBALL!" and hopefully use the power of ONE-LINERS to manipulate the CANNON into using some kind of WATER ATTACK on the BOSS ROGUE.

SM: Drop your lame REGULAR SWORD and DUAL-WIELD the CALIBRATING CLAYMORE and HEALTH BAR!

BR: Notice that the two PLAYERS you are facing are very TOUGH and SELF-DESTRUCT!

[The Dark Fiddler]

>BH: Check what's in the barrels then look out the hole in the room.

>SM: Keep it up!

>BR: Change your face to something more serious than >:3. Perhaps try >=)

[Mercenary Pen]

BH: Noticing that the cannon is distorted, roll an undistorted cannonball at the boss rogue. Quip line: Time to get the ball rolling.

SM: Backflip over the incoming cannonball whilst parrying bullets in emancipated earwig stance.

BR: Die a swift and painful death because a housefly landed on your back (secret weakness FTW)

[Mewtarthio]

> BH: Roll undistorted POWDER BARREL down the hall

[Arcanoi]

>BH: Ask BOSS ROGUE how IT felt when MOM did not show up to ITS HIGHSCHOOL GRADUATION.

[Draconi Redfir]

>BH: fill the CANNON with GUN POWDER and load up a CANNONBALL while makeing sure nothing but the CANNON is distorted. next step: DONT MISS!

>MG: WERE THE FARK ARE YOU!?

[AgentPaper]

> BH: Roll undistorted POWDER BARREL down the hall.




These things are pretty heavy, but you manage to slide one over to the door, and get ready to roll it down the hallway towards the BOSS.

> SM: Ask BOSS ROGUE how IT felt when MOM did not show up to ITS HIGHSCHOOL GRADUATION.

[AgentPaper]

> SM: Ask BOSS ROGUE how IT felt when MOM did not show up to ITS HIGHSCHOOL GRADUATION.




Bet he didn't expect that! You got him so bad, you wouldn't be surprised if he just turned around and ran away with his FLYING ROCKET LAUNCHER between his legs.

> ==>

[AgentPaper]

> ==>




Or maybe you'll just get him mad and he'll take out his UNRESOLVED MOMMY ISSUES on you. With AUTOCANNONS and ROCKETS. Surely his ROBOT PSYCHOLOGIST would approve.

This isn't going very well...

> ==>

[AgentPaper]

> ==>




The ROCKET completely misses SM, and runs straight into a GUNPOWDER BARREL that happened to be rolling down the hallway.

> SM: Use the SMOKE behind you as a DISTRACTION and roll backwards into it.

[Flickerdart]

> BH: Switch to Action Agent. Walk calmly out of the smoke cloud and say "Where there's smoke, there's a FIRE" as you shoot the BOSS ROGUE in the face.

[Mercenary Pen]

BOTH: Fall back, Parrying/Dodging as required, and trying to lure the boss over to the remaining powder barrels (so we can shoot them, and in so doing take him)

Thought I'd suggest something approaching a proper boss fight tactic...

[smuchmuch]

BH: Switch your genre grid to Double agent and stabb SM in the back.
If you can't beat them, join them !


And then switch back to suave spy and stab BR in it's weak point. That's how a true spy rolls.

[Draconi Redfir]

>SM: use the smoke behind you as a distraction and roll backwards into it, continue rolling until you stop right in front of BH. Hold up swords in front of you like a shield VIA the TURTLE STANCE, and yell at BH to fire the F***ing cannon!

>BH: fire the F***ing cannon!

[The Dark Fiddler]

>SM: Is it just me or did your bar sword lose a point of whatever it was measuring?
>BH: Stealth, now that the BR is distracted!
>BR: Realize that this time spent shooting at our protagonists, as rude as they may be, could be better spent trying to work out your maternal problems and attempt to communicate with MOM. Actually, do that while shooting too. Multitasking is important.

[Mercenary Pen]

>BR: Realize that this time spent shooting at our protagonists, as rude as they may be, could be better spent trying to work out your maternal problems and attempt to communicate with MOM. Actually, do that while shooting too. Multitasking is important.

Also, compute Pi to 65 trillion decimal places... complex multitasking that brings your evil plan closer to fruition is even more important.

[AgentPaper]

> SM: Use the SMOKE behind you as a DISTRACTION and roll backwards into it.




You were just about to escape from the BOSS using the SMOKE from the explosion, but there seems to be something in your way.

Wait, is that...?

> ==>

[AgentPaper]

> ==>




Okay something is seriously messed up with this game.

> BOTH: Try to DISTORT the BOSS ROGUE.

[Roy III]

> SM: FLING the DISTORTED SMOKE at the BOSS ROGUE!

> BH: Emerge from the other room just in time to wittily remark about how "SMOKING KILLS"!

[Draconi Redfir]

>BH Breifly wonder when you switched to ACTION AGENT again.

>SM: the boss has stoped fireing! RUN!

[Mercenary Pen]

BOTH: Try to distort the boss rogue

[Mewtarthio]

> SM: Equip DISTORTED SMOKE to WEAPON slot

> BH: Attempt to withdraw up DISTORTED LADDER

[Thanatos 51-50]

BH: Call for GM SUPPORT, claim the game is bugging out and is all distorted and stuff in the TUTORIAL.

[chiasaur11]

BR: Die.

Hey, worth a shot.