This isn't your Dad's Childhood! This is Let's Play: Pokemon: Shiny Gold: Hard Mode!

[chiasaur11]

I don't think every single person goes through a professor before they start using pokemon. Just the PC and rival normally.

Agreed.

I mean, most people probably catch their own Caterpie, or get a Machop from dad, or win a contest on the radio to get a Dratini.

Having a professor in town probably makes protagonists lucky.

[John Cribati]

That's odd... in the version I played, Carlos had this friggin' annoying Slowpoke that cursed itself into a nightmare.

[Flickerdart]

What is this Shiny Gold? I don't recall G/S/C remakes for the GBA.

[TheLogman]

It's a fan-made remake of G/S using the Fire Red ROM.

[Lord Loss]

That's odd... in the version I played, Carlos had this friggin' annoying Slowpoke that cursed itself into a nightmare.

I think his pokemon changes depending on your starter...

[John Cribati]

I think his pokemon changes depending on your starter...

Nah... He chose Slowpoke no matter what. I started over 5 times, I should know.

[Sliver]

Nah... He chose Slowpoke no matter what. I started over 5 times, I should know.

He had a Squirtle in all my different starter runs...

[Cobalt]

He had a Squirtle in all my different starter runs...

Evil Random Number God? I don't know, but hey, it is a hackish type of thing, after all. I'm not one to criticize inconsistencies of things beyond my comprehension.

[John Cribati]

Evil Random Number God? I don't know, but hey, it is a hackish type of thing, after all. I'm not one to criticize inconsistencies of things beyond my comprehension.

Well, my game was Version 4, and had the colored in Ho-oh on the title screen. The normal hack (which I managed to get my hands on) has the title Ho-oh all in different shades of red, so I assumed that Carlos would have had that Goddamned Slowpoke in this version.

[Tono]

I thought there were two versions, normal shiny and shiny gold 'X', with one of them being harder and having things including the goddamn annoying slowpoke.

[Kobold-Bard]

Liked the first chapter, I shall be watching intently.[/Hoothoot]

[Raistlin1040]

Chapter 2

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So, here I was. I'd just kicked that red haired kid's ass, and I decided to go back into New Bark Town. After all, if he'd been able to steal one, maybe I could take that last one without anyone noticing.

Oh balls, there's a cop. Alright, I can get out through the window, probably with minimal injury, and I can maybe fight off the aide and get out the front door...

Oh.
"You wouldn't happen to know anything about this male, would you?"
No sir. I can tell you that his name is NOT Janick, and that I would never steal Pokemon.
"Huh. Well alright. I'll make sure to put that down. Janick would never steal Pokemon."

...Right.


Oh yeah, I can see how worried you are about that little plant thing.
At this point, I gave him the Egg, and he started blubbering about what an important discovery it was. I fail to see how this is news. Considering I used to have eggs and bacon for breakfast every day, and there's no OTHER animals around here, it's not much of a stretch.

He started talking about Oak, the other crazy old guy from around here, and so I started dozing off.

I don't know, that's a bit jumping the gun, I mean I only have one...Wait. You mean the champion who is filthy rich and gets all the chicks? That Champion? Hell yes, sign me up.

...Yeah. Isn't that right, Ripper?
Rip! Rip!
Yeah, see, the little runt loves me.

And this seems like work. Dammit.

I started to leave, and then this guy stopped me and threw some balls at me.

I think he's confusing me with someone who cares about completing the stupid PokeDex.

That does sound remarkably easy though, so I suppose it's not much of a hassle.

I went back to see "Mom". She remarked on my new Pokemon.

"Look, I got these smuggled in, but with that cop sniffing around, I don't want to get caught. Take them until it's safe."
Yes Mother.
I went out of the town to get started.

Until this Jackass showed up.

Listen buddy, I don't see you with any Pokemon, so unless you want to have your ass ground into dust, you should step aside.

I took a step into the grass, and this stupid thing appeared. Ripper...er...ripped it.

...How is it that I've never seen this place before?

Well this is a dump.

Whoa. I didn't know there was a Pokemon that looked like an anthropomorphic ball of crap with arms. This is new.

And it sucks. Just like everything else. Gawddammit.

So I threw my ball and caught it. Exciting.

Rocky seemed too obvious.

Stoney was feeling a bit under the weather from his thrashing, so I put on my best "Pity Me" face and went to try my chances with Nurse Joy again. She read me the same act, healing my Pokemon and stuff, until...

I hope to see *you* again, beautiful.
Damn. Thrown out again.

I hadn't encountered any Pokemon north of Cherrygrove, so I was feeling kind of c0cky. I took some steps into the grass, daring anything to come fight me. Unfortunately, all I got was this stupid ladybug.

I named it Bug. It's not worthy of a real name.

I was just minding my own business, walking along, and this kid wearing ridiculous shorts just came at me!

Did you ever think that you lost because you suck?

HEY! I will kick your ass, punk!

He sent out some diseased and discolored mouse. Ripper jumped out of his ball, eager to go, but I called him back so Stoney could taste the blood of the little mammal.

Maybe you should have thought of that before wasting your only Pokemon on a badass like me.

I really hope this whole region isn't like this.

[Vespe Ratavo]

In lieu of any sort of insightful comment, I will simply say, glorious exposition, comrade. The "story" is surprisingly well-suited to twisting to an alternate interpretation, as well.

[Mercenary Pen]

Expect stoney or bug to be one of the first casualties your team has (particularly bug)... Just hope you can keep stoney alive long enough to help you out in the first two gyms.

[Kobold-Bard]

Remember to not go north of Violet City otherwise you can't catch the wise-ass wiggly tree later on.

[Raistlin1040]

Yeah, I'm hoping Stoney stays alive. I have a plot point planned out with him if he makes it to evolution.

[Legoshrimp]

This has impart inspired me to do a hard mode run on leaf green, and so far really like it! Keep up the good work

[Raistlin1040]

Chapter 3

Spoiler

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...So anyway.
Gawd dammit, this is such a waste of my time.


I decided to let Stoney crush this wimp to get him some more experience.


It was not difficult.

I am at a loss for how to respond to such astounding idiocy.

Maybe this guy in the hat can tell me where I'm supposed to go. Oh wait. This place is full of morons.

More ass-kicking was in order.


Hm. Stoney learned a new move. I wonder what it does.

Useful moves. This is not one of them.

Looks like Stoney is back to throwing himself at bugs like a cheap whore.

And your hat is stupid.

I walked into a cave by accident.

And out of nowhere, I got attacked by this bat thing.

He's kind of cute, I suppose. Plus he's a bat, which is pretty cool. I named him Bela.

Also I got a tiny bird thing. I named it Hawkman, since it's more or less useless.

...Seriously? Someone just left a Pokeball lying around? This thing is worth like, two hundred dollars.

I probably should've seen this coming, in retrospect.

I hadn't given Bug any training, so I decided to see if he could actually fight. He seemed to be doing alright. He took out a pair of Caterpies.

This thing looks really fricking stupid.

Toughen up you stupid ladybug. Are you a man?

Gawd, you are useless aren't you?

Looks like Bug is out for now. I was going to send in Hawkman.

Ripper had other ideas. He ripped that little worm into shreds. I am kind of proud.

Alright Bug, the battle's over. You can get up now...
Stop pretending you useless insect...
You are such a pain in the ass. Maybe Nurse Joy can do something for you.

"I'm sorry Janick. Your Ledyba is dead."
Dead?"
"Sometimes, Pokemon battles get a bit heated, and one of the Pokemon loses control. They're supposed to be just for fun, but...I'm sorry."

What a worthless piece of crap. He went down without even making a dent in that Weedle.
Bug was the first to fall...But he will not be the last!

[Vespe Ratavo]

Poor Bug. We will never forget you. Because you were awesome. For all of the twelve seconds we knew you. Why must the good die young? Damn you, Billy Joel!

[AlterForm]

Poor Bug. We will never forget you.

Bug? Who's that? Was he important? Somehow I don't think he was. :P

[Raistlin1040]

Was he important? Just ask...

Buglocke!

[Mercenary Pen]

Was he important? Just ask...

Buglocke!

Don't do this. Despite what others might tell you, imitation is not the sincerest form of flattery, it's just a pain in the neck.

[Raistlin1040]

I'm aware. Probably should've put that in sarcasm tags.

[Kobold-Bard]

R.I.P
Bug the Ledyba
Chapter 2 - Chapter 3

He Lived the way he died -
Wallowing in mediocrity

[Yana]

I look forward to the title of the next chapter, and for every chapter thereafter: "The Glorious Adventures of Bela the Crobat!"

[Raistlin1040]

I don't think Bela's going to make it that long, actually. I'd be surprised if any of them, save Ripper, made it past the few three or four gyms.

[ScottishDragon]

Hmmm well i'm hoping he's more than the average zubat.Corbat's are pretty awesome,one of the few I respect.Then again,he has a complete ass for a trainer that might not understand bats good enough.

[Raistlin1040]

I'm sure Janick understands bats just fine. He understands that they make good cannon fodder.

[SlyGuyMcFly]

I was bored this afternoon, so I fooled about on Inkscape for a couple of hours:

Spoiler

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Hope you like it.

[Raistlin1040]

*bursts into tears*

I'll always miss you Bug...

Not really though. The picture is awesome though.