This isn't your Dad's Childhood! This is Let's Play: Pokemon: Shiny Gold: Hard Mode!

[Sliver]

Advertising implies there is anything to sell other than Pokemart items and food.

Which there isn't.

There is.

Bicycles.

And running shoes.

[Deth Muncher]

There is.

Bicycles.

And running shoes.

Aaaaand Slowpoke Tails. :D

[Sliver]

I assumed "food" isn't only "pokefood" and I believe they eat those tails.

[Kobold-Bard]

There is.

Bicycles.

And running shoes.

No-one sells those, they give them away to small children in exchange for their phone numbers

[Deth Muncher]

No-one sells those, they give them away to small children in exchange for their phone numbers

And suddenly, the fact that everyone in the Pokeworld is a creeper is brought to light.

[Sliver]

No-one sells those, they give them away to small children in exchange for their phone numbers

Depends... On some games it costs like 1,000,000, which is above your max, so even if you cheat you can't get that much. Sure, you get it for free after you get the specific connections... I wonder what you have to do for prof. Oak to get the starter pokemon

[Kobold-Bard]

Depends... On some games it costs like 1,000,000, which is above your max, so even if you cheat you can't get that much. Sure, you get it for free after you get the specific connections... I wonder what you have to do for prof. Oak to get the starter pokemon

Exactly. They make them so expensive so you think it must be awesome but you'll never be able to afford it, then they offer you one of these unobtainable things if you'll "do them a favour"....

As for Oak, he's harmless (except for the occasional violent outburst where he throws stuff a wild Pikachus). I mean the guy can't even remember his grandson (the grandson he actually lives with)'s name, he's clearly always to drunk to do anything to you.

[Sliver]

What if he is some kind of rapist that "forgets" his grandson's name to get rid of the guilt?

[Kobold-Bard]

What if he is some kind of rapist that "forgets" his grandson's name to get rid of the guilt?

Dude, you have a sick mind

[Penguinator]

And suddenly, the fact that everyone in the Pokeworld is a creeper is brought to light.

What, you just noticed?

I have a friend whose idea of fun is to play through Pokemon games and take every single sentence pervertedly. And, of course, give the rival a fun name. Like this gem from Crystal: "Some [insert rival's name] made fun of my Pokemon!" Supply your own fun!

[Sliver]

The world of pokemans thrives on the economy of perverting children. When they reach the age of 10, they are "ripe" enough to get their "pokemon license" and "travel" the world to get "gym badges" from strangers.

[Penguinator]

And the first one they get these badges from is described as being "rock hard." (Well, except Falkner. But who cares about him?)

[NecroticPunch]

Mr. Sir Raistlin?! Mr. Sir Raistlin did you disappear?

[Penguinator]

Hey, yeah. It's been almost a week.

[Raistlin1040]

Sorry guys. With the steady stream of LPs, some of which are far superior to mine, it's kind of hard to motive myself. I'll try to have something up tonight.

[Terry576]

Sorry guys. With the steady stream of LPs, some of which are far superior to mine, it's kind of hard to motive myself. I'll try to have something up tonight.

Riiiiight. It's totally not you Speedrunning Pearl to try and breed yourself some shiny Staryus and Kabutos.

I do not apologize for causing the lack of updates. Personally, I blame the rap music.

[onasuma]

If it helps you get more done, I feel I should state that this is the best pokemon lets play Ive seen (Some others are awesome, this is just more so) and my 3rd favourite thread on this forum in general at the moment.

"The best lets play shouldnt stop being so because theres lots of immitations" - Abe Lincon, 1813

[NecroticPunch]

Jea, my friend, This is, quite frankly, more fun to read than any of the other ones. Because, in this one, you get some good ol' fashion humor.

[doliest]

Indeed; you honestly have the funniest LP on this forum.

[Raistlin1040]

Thank you for the praise everyone, it really means a lot. I apologize for the shortness of this update, but some of the pictures ended up getting saved over, somehow. I'm going to try and recreate what happened in the first fifteen or so pictures with diary entry from Janick. I'm very sorry.
The Diary of Janick, Entry 1

Spoiler

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So, I was in Goldenrod City, and I decided I would go to the Gym to challenge the leader here. Ripper was still in the PC box, because he's got no heart. I swear, for something that is basically a three and a half foot alligator of death, he doesn't seem to enjoy fighting very much. Still, I've got Stoney, Sir Misery, and Murderface if I need to bring in some big guns. However, Carlos (that son of a bitch) was standing in front of the Gym door. I've beaten him like, three or four times already, but always with Ripper. His Wartortle could be a big threat to Stoney, and his Elekid could do a bit of damage to Murderface, to say nothing of anything else he might have.

So, I decided to go training. I checked my team. Stoney, Sir Misery, Murderface, Ivy2, Invincible, and Billy Idol. Ripper was in the box with that stupid Egg. I decided that Ivy2 would be the easiest to train, since she actually has some decent attacks and doesn't need to rely on a teammate to win fights. Back in that cave, there were a lot of Onix, Sandshrew, and Geodudes, which she has type advantage over, so I decided to start there.

Ivy2 pretty much kicked ass. She was taking down a bunch of Geodudes all by herself. She learned some new moves while we were out, Poison Sting and Stun Spore. She's not quite at the level of Murderface, Stoney, and Misery yet, but she's getting there. Next, I decided to try toughening up Billy Idol. He was looking a bit flabby and pathetic next to the rest of the team. Even Invincible, with Headbutt, looked more impressive.

Unfortunately, the first enemy that came at the little worm was a giant Onix. I made a great pun when we saw it. I said, "Hey Billy, I think that it's time...to Rock!". I think he'd have laughed if he weren't a Caterpie. And if he weren't terrified out of his mind. He put up a good fight, but the Onix nearly killed him, so I had to send in Stoney to take him. I decided to go back to the Pokemon Center in Goldenrod to heal up, and check if Carlos was still blocking the way.

I got up to Route 34. Now, Route 34 has a bunch of crappy Pokemon. It has Pidgeys and Zubats and Caterpies, so I've jsut been ignoring it. But I ran into this weird pink blob called a Ditto, and I was mildly interested, so I caught it. I put Stoney in the PC box to take a look at the Ditto. He seemed to be really...slutty, actually, around the rest of the team. I named him De Sade.

I passed by this building I'd seen a few times but never gone into. De Sade was...I don't know what to call his movement, but he was moving next to me, and the weird old man by the fence called out to me. I went over, and he asked to look at De Sade. I let him, and his face lit up.

"Why boy, do you know what you have here? This is a Ditto!" He exclaimed. "I know." I said. "Boy, I run a day-care center with my wife, here in this building, and we watch Pokemon for trainers who can't, and let me tell you, Ditto is a pleasure to have around. They're always so friendly, and kind, and sweet. How about you let us look after the little fellow for a while?" I was apprehensive. De Sade looked like he didn't want to go, so I declined.

"Ah, but boy, it's a wonderful sight to watch a Ditto around other Pokemon. All that rubbery flesh, twisting, turning, changing. And when it gets dark...they breed." I blinked. "Breed?" "Oh yeah. Ditto is a great breeder. So limber. And with the shape-changing thing, they can become just about anything. It's a marvel to watch, really. Sometimes the wife and I, we just sit out on the porch at night and watch them."

Okay, now I was feeling uncomfortable. I started to back away, but this guy wouldn't shut up. "Why, just last week we had a Ditto here with a Magmar, and that was a real joy to watch. You should've seen it-" "Alright, just take him! I'll pay you, just stop talking!" De Sade looked really betrayed, and so I ammended my statement. "Keep him away from any other trainers' Pokemon." The man nodded like he understood. "I get it. Don't want to have to deal with any unwanted Eggs. It'll cost you extra, though." I frowned. "Alright, fine." I shelled out some cash and he took De Sade.

I felt a little bad about leaving him, but he wasn't going to be able to fight very well, and I had training to do. I continued training Billy Idol. After a few more fights, he evolved into a Metapod. I made another hilarious pun. "Is this what you meant when you said you wanted to rock HARDER?". I decided we'd done enough training for one day, so we went inside a Pokemon Center to rest. I thought I heard a click in the night, and light footsteps, but I checked in the morning and Murderface was in his Pokeball, so I must've dreamt it. Huh.

Chapter 12

Spoiler

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Stoney looked like he was still a little tired, so I decided to keep him in the box. Carlos was still guarding the Gym, waiting for me obviously. It's like he doesn't even have a life. I decided to go training again, but north of the city this time.

I got stopped by this jackass.

He phrased it like a question, but he didn't really give me much of a choice. I only had five Pokeballs on my belt, and he just sort of threw this one at me.

OH and it's something terrible. Fantastic. It's not even worth stealing. I might as well go find this friend, so he can take this Pokemon off my hands.

Well I found him, and he gave me a TM. He told me to keep the Spearow though. Dammit. I went straight to the Pokemon Center and dumped it in the box.

I was so close to New Bark Town at this point, I figured I'd just go back and give "Mom" her cut of what I'd made so far. Didn't want her getting impatient and blowing my cover.

The ability to cut four foot shrubbery is invaluable. For example, I discovered I have a backyard. Sort of.

Huh. That's weird. It sounds like something is yelling. Hm...

...Eh?

...There is a Pikachu. Under my house. What the hell. It looked stuck, so I grabbed it and pulled it out.

...It just stole one of my Pokeballs. And jumped inside. Oh gawd what have I done?

...Apparently some idiot actually named it 'Pikachu' as well. It must have belonged to someone before I found it. What kind of idiot ten year old names their Pikachu 'Pikachu', and then loses it? How irresponsible.

I started looking through my backpack to see how many Pokeball I had left, because I thought I was starting to run low. I only had one, but I also discovered I had a fishing rod. When the hell did I get a fishing rod? Actually, doesn't matter. Time to go fishing.
Many hours later
Okay, this is officially the dumbest sport in the world. Seriously, I think I'm going to snap this rod in ha-Oh my god I caught something. Thank you Poseidon! Alright whatever you are, feel the might of my Pokeball!

I caught a Magikarp. Yeah, you look like you're going to suck. To the box with you. Back to training!
I was actually finished with Billy Idol, since he was sort of sucking, but he went off and attacked this puny Rattata and beat it, and then he started to glow.

This would've been a good place for a pun, but this thing looks like it might actually be marginally useful. Also I can't think of one.

Oh, can't ignore that. I suppose if I'd just changed from a giant phallic symbol to a freaking BUTTERFLY, I'd be confused too. I walked back to the Pokemon Center to look over my team. I could probably beat Carlos now, even without Ripper, but I wanted a more solid team. It would mean training up my weaker guys, so that I had a team of 6 that would be really tough.

But who to choose...Hm...

Alright, so time for some audience interaction. You guys can vote on who you want in my party of 6 for the time being. Vote on who you'd like to see worked into the story, not necessarily who is the most powerful (or least powerful, if you want to mess with me).

[doliest]

Awesome.
Well let's see...
Sir Misery(Obviously)
Murderface
Stony
Posiedon
Invincible
.
.
.
Egg/ Or if you refuse to use Egg, Billy Idol.

[Raistlin1040]

Oh, and Ripper can be brought back now if you want him to, but even if he doesn't make the cut, he will be back eventually.

[Deth Muncher]

Grind for a Gyarados.

Eff crap up.

[Tao the Ninja]

in order of prefenence:

Murderface
Sir Misery
Posiedan
Ripper
Billy Idol
Pikachu

[Sliver]

in order of prefenence:

Murderface
Sir Misery
Posiedan
Ripper
Billy Idol
Pikachu

Pretty much this.

[onasuma]

Let me see:

Stoney
Invincible
Sir Misery
Invincible
Invincible
Posiedan

[Coidzor]

-You are, under no circumstance, allowed to get a second pokemon from any given area.
-You are, under no circumstance, allowed to use items outside of battle. If you were poisoned on your last turn of the battle, you better hope to god theres a pokemon center nearby.

...*twitch*

I just really, really hope you didn't write that. That's just... What kind of person thinks in such language?

[Penguinator]

Ripper
Sir Misery
Murderface
Stoney (Unless of course you can't evolve him.)
Poseidon
Pikachu
(Billy Idol if you can't evolve Stoney to Golem)

Whatever gets seventh place could be shoved in the day care with that whorrible ditto. For training purposes, obviously.

[Raistlin1040]

All strange evolutions have been modified to be with a stone or at a certain level. Haunter becomes Gengar at 42, Graveler becomes Golem at 42, Slowbro becomes Slowking with a Water Stone. Complete list in the Spoiler.

Spoiler

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Haunter evolves into Gengar at level 42
Onix evolves into Steelix at level 40
Kadabra evolves into Alakazam at level 40
Machoke evolves into Machamp at level 45
Gravler evolves into Golem at level 42
Seadra evolves into Kingdra at level 50
Scyter evolves into Scizor with a Moon Stone
Eevee evolves into Espeon with a Sun Stone
Eevee evolves into Umbreon with a Moon Stone
Porygon evolves into Porygon2 at level 40
Clamperl evolves into Huntail with a Moon Stone
Clamperl evolves into Gorebyss with a Sun Stone
Slowbro evolves into Slowking with a Water Stone

[Penguinator]

Ah. Okay, Stoney stays for Tanking. I wanted to make sure. I've had a friend who played one where they could evolve, and another one where they couldn't. Just wanted to make sure he could reach full glory.