FATAL: A Campaign Journal

[Worira]

So I just rolled someone with around -1.7 billion siblings. I'm not sure how to take that.

Spoiler

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---------------------------F.A.T.A.L. Character------------------------------------
Copyright (c) 2000-2003 Fatal Games. All Rights Reserved.
------------------------General Character Information------------------------------
Character Name: Darlicia Gender: F Race: Kobold
Player Name: Occupation: Age Category: Child
Homeland: Level: Religion:
Height: 38 Weight: 39 Siblings: -1717986920 Social Class: Peasant
Age: 5 Max Age: 80 Eyes: Brown Skin Color: Silvery White
Marital Status: Unhappily Married Birth Rank:
Birth Status: Legitimate Hair Color: Dirty Blond Hair Type: Thick, curly
Hair Length: 2 Vision: Perfect natural vision
Facial Feature: Yellow or unkempt teeth
Perceived as cruel
Birthplace: Village Birthday:11/27/5095
Most Attactive Feature: Legs Most Repulsive Feature: Chest
Appearance:
Notes:

----------------------------Character Abilities-------------------------------------
Sub-ability Score Mods
__________________________________________________ __________________________________
PHYSIQUE: 41 -38
Physical Fitness: 52 -29 Sprint: 23
Strength: 12 -74 Damage: -74% C&J: 4 Bench: 8 DL: 12
Bodily Attractiveness: 16 -64
Health: 86 -6 Int/Vom: +6% All: 1 Ill. Imm.: 53%

CHARISMA: 64 -21
Facial: 71 -17 Description: Homely
Vocal: 52 -29 Description: Hoarse
Kinetic: 81 -10 Description: Ordinary
Rhetoric: 55 -25 Avg. Speech: 115 or 250 (50%)

DEXTERITY: 77 -13
Hand-Eye Coordination: 90 -6 Finger Prec: 1/16 inch
Agility: 75 -13 CA Bonus: -4 Brawl: 2 Stand: 3
Reaction Speed: 71 -17 Deep Sleep Recov: 2
Enunciation: 72 -17 Max Speech: 150 Casting: +50%

INTELLIGENCE: 44 -34
Language: 55 -25 #: 1 Vocab: Wavering
Math: 34 -44 Highest Math: Subtraction
Analytical: 42 -38
Spatial: 46 -34 Unfamiliar Object Assembly: 10

WISDOM: 87 -6
Drive: 91 -3 Hours Resting: 17
Intuition: 68 -17
Common Sense: 114 6 Likely to: -
Reflection: 78 -13 Earliest memory at: Age 4


Life Points: 6 Unconscious: 1 CA: 6

Piety Points: 30 Magic Points:

Breadth: 19 BMI: 19.0409 BMI Status: Healthy weight

-------------------------------------Disposition------------------------------------
Ethicality: 30 Morality: 4
You are: Neutral w/Unethical tendencies Immoral

-------------------------------------Temperament------------------------------------
Sanguine: 3 Choleric: 29 Melancholic: 36 Phlegmatic: 47
Primary Temperament: Phlegmatic Secondary Temperament: Melancholic

-------------------------------------Starting Funds---------------------------------
Silver Pieces: 1

------------------------------------Mental Illnesses--------------------------------
Illness 1: psychosis
Illness 2: dependent personality disorder
Illness 3: pyromania
Illness 4: patholoical gambling

--------------------------------------Allergies-------------------------------------
Allergy 1: asthma
------------------------------------Rare Features-----------------------------------
Handedness: Left-handed
Foot Size: 4
Head Cicumference: 18.5184

I think it probably has something to do with the pyromania.

[Weezer]

Yeah, LE is not Ethical. At all. But I suppose that's minor compared to the other problems.

What really irks me is that he (apparently) goes so far as to cite Aristotelian Ethics as that basis of his alignment system

[Bayar]

Wait, wasn't this system supposed to be realistic? I am confused. Somebody needs to tell me about the birds and the bras again it seems.

Sorry, wont go back near the rules for having birds meeting bras. That thing gives Azathoth nightmares while reducing it's sanity down to 0.

[Dogmantra]

Wait, wasn't this system supposed to be realistic? I am confused. Somebody needs to tell me about the birds and the bras again it seems.

But birds and bras actually exist! That would mean the game had any foundation in reality whatsoever, which clearly goes against its design principles!

[OMG PONIES]

And can do fractions, oddly enough.

I think I just got the inspiration for my next D&D character. A baby elf psion with a penchant for math.

Thank you, FATAL.

[Volthawk]

I think I just got the inspiration for my next D&D character. A baby elf psion with a penchant for math.

Thank you, FATAL.

Wait, you benefited from FATAL?

[Catch]

Wait, you benefited from FATAL?

Certainly.

If anything, it's a cautionary tale for game designers and game masters alike: Make games that are fun and fair. Otherwise, you're a rapist with an Excel spreadsheet.

[OMG PONIES]

Wait, you benefited from FATAL?

Well, more from the concept of random character generation than from FATAL per se, but I guess we must give credit where credit is due, so...

Thank you, maker of a random character generator!

[arguskos]

Otherwise, you're a rapist with an Excel spreadsheet.

This is something I'd love to sig, but, uh, the likelihood of that being permitted (due to out of context misinterpretations and whatnot) is high, so I'll refrain. Still, this was glorious.

[Thane of Fife]

And that is one attractive baby. 250 BA?!

This is because of FATAL's use of BMI for attractiveness (for females). I think it's something like +10 BA for every 0.1 under... 16, maybe? 18? Regardless, babies have huge reductions in weight, and much smaller reductions in height, leading to very low BMIs.

[warmachine]

What's enunciation?

[Yuki Akuma]

What's enunciation?

Your ability to enunciate.

That is, pronounce words properly.

[Androgeus]

Um... if she's 7 inches tall and has a head circumference of 12.5875...

The diameter of her head I believe is 4.003'' (given that her head is a perfect circle....)

[tonberrian]

Like I said.

More head than baby.

[Mongoose87]

This is because of FATAL's use of BMI for attractiveness (for females). I think it's something like +10 BA for every 0.1 under... 16, maybe? 18? Regardless, babies have huge reductions in weight, and much smaller reductions in height, leading to very low BMIs.

So, babies are the sexiest people on the world?

[Yuki Akuma]

Only female babies. Males get a BA penalty for being underweight, so male babies are ugly as sin.

[Greenish]

So, babies are the sexiest people on the world?

Yeah, and after them come the anorexic. Femme fatales are apparently the sexier the more underweight they are.

[Eorran]

On that note, did anyone notice the ogre had a BMI of over 90?

30 is considered obese.

I'm 5'8", roughly. To have a BMI of 90 means I would have to weigh 600 lbs

That's not an Ogre, it's a Hutt. A fat Hutt.

[RandomLunatic]

On that note, did anyone notice the ogre had a BMI of over 90?

30 is considered obese.

I'm 5'8", roughly. To have a BMI of 90 means I would have to weigh 600 lbs

That's not an Ogre, it's a Hutt. A fat Hutt.

That's no moon. That's an ogre.

[Salbazier]

Oh, my God. What happened to you while I leave you guys! This disease has spread even more! I pray for your sanity

[Eldan]

Hmm.

Couldn't someone make a, you know, sane random character generator?
Shouldn't be too hard for DnD, should it.

[The Tygre]

I think what we're all saying here, Dust, is;

[Delta]

Couldn't someone make a, you know, sane random character generator?
Shouldn't be too hard for DnD, should it.

Anyone who knows even the basics of any kind of programming language and how to use a randomizer-function should be able to create a D&D random character generator without much of a problem.

Thing is, what for? The character generated would most likely be useless, as you randomly assign stat scores and then randomly choose a class that most likely won't fit those scores at all.

[Bayar]

Oh, my God. What happened to you while I leave you guys! This disease has spread even more! I pray for your sanity

FATAL is like Zalgo. It corrupts everything.

[Eldan]

Anyone who knows even the basics of any kind of programming language and how to use a randomizer-function should be able to create a D&D random character generator without much of a problem.

Thing is, what for? The character generated would most likely be useless, as you randomly assign stat scores and then randomly choose a class that most likely won't fit those scores at all.

Hmm. Maybe a kind of AD&D thing, then. Must have Int 15+ to be a wizard. Must have STR 14, CON 14 to be a fighter.

But yeah, not really necessary.

[Hand_of_Vecna]

So I used the character generator I rolled Subterrenian troll and opened the PDF to check out the race. Basically the males are fat hairy pigs and the females are large hot green women that sleep around with large men from more attractive races. Wow, the mental images this gives me are hilarious so I had to roll up a female despite the outrageous negatives though the troll bonuses still make a typical female troll much larger and stronger than a male human. I ended up with stats that seem (I have very little context) high overall except for a low dexterity with an abysmal agility. I ended up with a mental illness that makes me a rapist which is kinda funny with the whole being a giant hot green woman attracted to human/humanlike men.

So I opened the book to roll for proffession subterranean trolls only seem to be able to take twenty or so classes and a good portion of them sound like they’ll be decent. I rolled pick-pocket first, trolls can’t be pick-pockets, rolled again got assassin which my poor hand-eye-coordination disqualified me from too bad a giant green assassin that takes sexual advantage of her targets would have been hilarious. Oops rolled assassin a second time man if somebody across the table from me rolled a soap maker they’d be hating me now. OK, this is getting silly I just rolled pickpocket again.

So, I just looked over the Assassin class wow it gains AP =Victims LP(human averages about 20) times sp their paid so you could easily level quick and level 2 assassin gives you an ability where you instantly kill on an unmodified attack roll of 30 and it goes down a bit every assassin level regardless of your normal damage or your victims life points.

Anyway time for a fifth roll for occupation of course a better system would have a subterranean troll table since I’m estimating I can take 1/10nth of the classes on the serf table.

323 healer pretty sure that’s off limits. . . No trolls can take it but, I can’t despite a high intelligence I have a below average analytical intelligence baring me from healer, it sucks anyway 1 AP per patient and only 1 skill.

Judging by the list in the sub-troll section I should have close to a 50% chance of getting something that could make an adventurer.

953 Whore, huh you know that’d be ok if it wasn’t for the mental illness I rolled.

So my two crap stats effect a lot of my skills (as well as every combat skill) if you look at my skills those are all things with a racial or occupational bonus I put all my free points into wrestling (it uses the average of strengh and agility I still have a large negative but it’s much smaller) so I can have a small chance of doing something in a fight.

Another thing I noticed a lot of occupations say it’s rare for a race or gender to be in them but, I didn’t find any mention of being able to reroll in those cases since you have the same chance as anyone else of rolling them.

Anyway assuming I can find sufficient work even with some minor negatives from a low kinetic charisma she can level in under a week.

Spoiler

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---------------------------F.A.T.A.L. Character------------------------------------
Copyright (c) 2000-2003 Fatal Games. All Rights Reserved.
------------------------General Character Information------------------------------
Character Name: Theano Gender: F Race: Subterranean Troll
Player Name: Occupation: Age Category: Young Adult
Homeland: Level: Religion:
Height: 90 Weight: 218 Siblings: 4 Social Class: Serf
Age: 26 Max Age: 150 Eyes: Bloody-Brown Skin Color: Green
Marital Status: Unhappily Married Birth Rank: 4th
Birth Status: NA Hair Color: Black Hair Type: Thick, wavy, oily
Hair Length: 20 Vision: Perfect natural vision
Facial Feature: Ears below eyebrows
Perceived as having a low mental capacity
Birthplace: Capital City Birthday:1/21/5074
Most Attactive Feature: Lips Most Repulsive Feature: Chest
Appearance:
Notes:

----------------------------Character Abilities-------------------------------------
Sub-ability Score Mods
__________________________________________________ __________________________________
PHYSIQUE: 111 6
Physical Fitness: 107 3 Sprint: 62
Strength: 114 6 Damage: +6% C&J: 63 Bench: 127 DL: 190
Bodily Attractiveness: 104 3
Health: 121 12 Int/Vom: -12% All: 0 Ill. Imm.: 63%

CHARISMA: 110 6
Facial: 102 0 Description: Plain
Vocal: 158 27 Description: Rhythmic
Kinetic: 82 -10 Description: Ordinary
Rhetoric: 101 0 Avg. Speech: 150 or 190 (50%)

DEXTERITY: 73 -13
Hand-Eye Coordination: 64 -21 Finger Prec: 1/8 inch
Agility: 37 -38 CA Bonus: -10 Brawl: 2 Stand: 4
Reaction Speed: 90 -6 Deep Sleep Recov: 2
Enunciation: 103 3 Max Speech: 210 Casting: -2%

INTELLIGENCE: 108 3
Language: 107 3 #: 3 Vocab: Undismayed
Math: 134 17 Highest Math: Trigonometry
Analytical: 89 -6
Spatial: 105 3 Unfamiliar Object Assembly: 250

WISDOM: 106 3
Drive: 123 12 Hours Resting: 14
Intuition: 105 3
Common Sense: 107 3 Likely to: -
Reflection: 92 -3 Earliest memory at: Age 3


Life Points: 32 Unconscious: 6 CA: 4

Piety Points: 64 Magic Points:

Breadth: 45 BMI: 18.9741 BMI Status: Healthy weight

-------------------------------------Disposition------------------------------------
Ethicality: 22 Morality: 43
You are: Neutral w/Unethical tendencies Neutral

-------------------------------------Temperament------------------------------------
Sanguine: 1 Choleric: 46 Melancholic: 95 Phlegmatic: 94
Primary Temperament: Melancholic Secondary Temperament: Phlegmatic

-------------------------------------Starting Funds---------------------------------
Silver Pieces: 1939

------------------------------------Mental Illnesses--------------------------------
Illness 1: raptophilia
Illness 2: paranoia
--------------------------------------Allergies-------------------------------------
None

------------------------------------Rare Features-----------------------------------
Handedness: Right-handed
Foot Size: 10
Head Cicumference: 27.63

----------------------------------------Skills------------------------------------
Blind Fighting -9 Brawling -33 Direction Sense +6 Mangling +5 Trickery +9
Wrestling -6 Acting (Drama) +9 Contortion-12 Massage -12 Seduction +10
Sexual Adeptness +3

So somebody was talking about a pbp? I can't stop rolling up characters with this random generator!

[Jarawara]

OK, I see kinda an odd pattern here...

From Yuki Akuma's character:

"Perceived as a waster of money, generous"
"Social class: Slave"

From SaintRidley's character:

"Perceived as financially stable"
"Social class: Slave"

From Volthawks's character:

"Perceived as prone to financial losses, difficult to conserve wealth
Social class: Slave"



OK, so the three of you come to your supervisor's office to discuss your weekly paychecks. Volthawk says: "Sir, do you suppose I could get a raise, I'm a little shorthanded this month." SaintRidley says to Volthawk: "If you need a loan, I've got money to spare and could get it to you at a low interest rate." Yuki Akuma interrupts and says: "Hey boss, why don't you just give my paycheck to Volthawk. He needs it more than me. I'll get by just fine without it."

The supervisor rises with a bufuddled look on his face, then gets angry, grabs his whip, and shouts out: "GET BACK TO WORK, SLAVES, BEFORE I FLAY THE HIDE OFF YOUR BACKS!!!"

Three cheers for FATAL, the most realistic RPG evah!

*~*~*

Honorable mention goes to Tonberrian's character:

"Perceived as having a low mental capacity
Social class: Serf"

He wasn't smart enough to get in on this lucrative 'slave' gig.

[Randalor]

All I can say about the character creator is... it has a few problems.

Spoiler

Show

---------------------------F.A.T.A.L. Character------------------------------------
Copyright (c) 2000-2003 Fatal Games. All Rights Reserved.
------------------------General Character Information------------------------------
Character Name: Hengist Gender: M Race: Dark Elf
Player Name: Occupation: Age Category: Young Adult
Homeland: Level: Religion:
Height: 8 Weight: 2 Siblings: 0 Social Class: Serf
Age: 0 Max Age: 250 Eyes: Black Skin Color: Black
Marital Status: Single Birth Rank: Only child
Birth Status: Legitimate Hair Color: Brunette Hair Type: Thick, wavy, oily
Hair Length: 1 Vision: Far-sightedness, 5 feet
Facial Feature: Diminished jawbone
Perceived as feminine
Birthplace: City Birthday:7/11/5100
Most Attactive Feature: Face Most Repulsive Feature: Hair
Appearance:
Notes:

----------------------------Character Abilities-------------------------------------
Sub-ability Score Mods
__________________________________________________ __________________________________
PHYSIQUE: 86 -6
Physical Fitness: 136 17 Sprint: 24
Strength: 44 -34 Damage: -34% C&J: 25 Bench: 50 DL: 75
Bodily Attractiveness: 47 -34
Health: 119 9 Int/Vom: -9% All: 0 Ill. Imm.: 62%

CHARISMA: 107 3
Facial: 116 9 Description: Plain
Vocal: 117 9 Description: Normal
Kinetic: 88 -6 Description: Ordinary
Rhetoric: 108 3 Avg. Speech: 152 or 187 (50%)

DEXTERITY: 91 -3
Hand-Eye Coordination: 126 12 Finger Prec: 1/32 inch
Agility: 86 -6 CA Bonus: -2 Brawl: 2 Stand: 3
Reaction Speed: 65 -21 Deep Sleep Recov: 2
Enunciation: 88 -6 Max Speech: 180 Casting: +20%

INTELLIGENCE: 100 0
Language: 116 9 #: 3 Vocab: Transcendental
Math: 99 0 Highest Math: Algebra
Analytical: 98 0
Spatial: 87 -6 Unfamiliar Object Assembly: 125

WISDOM: 109 6
Drive: 102 0 Hours Resting: 16
Intuition: 108 3
Common Sense: 124 12 Likely to: -
Reflection: 104 3 Earliest memory at: Age 3


Life Points: 12 Unconscious: 2 CA: 8

Piety Points: 98 Magic Points:

Breadth: 4 BMI: 22.0313 BMI Status: Overweight

-------------------------------------Disposition------------------------------------
Ethicality: 57 Morality: 1
You are: Neutral Immoral

-------------------------------------Temperament------------------------------------
Sanguine: 21 Choleric: 77 Melancholic: 76 Phlegmatic: 44
Primary Temperament: Choleric Secondary Temperament: Melancholic

-------------------------------------Starting Funds---------------------------------
Silver Pieces: 0

------------------------------------Mental Illnesses--------------------------------
None

--------------------------------------Allergies-------------------------------------
None

------------------------------------Rare Features-----------------------------------
Handedness: Right-handed
Foot Size: 1
Head Cicumference: 11.6545

-----------------------------------Sexual Features----------------------------------
Areola Diameter: 1 Areola Hue: Dark
Tongue Size: 3 Sexuality: Heterosexual
Debauchery: 72

So I checked the FATAL pdf, average Dark Elf height is aprox 4'. He's... 8 inches tall, and weighs 2 pounds. His nipples must form some sort of supernipple, seeing as how he's roughly a short stick. A young adult age Zero'd stick. His earliest memory is in the future. I've rolled up several characters with the generator *My girlfriend and I were up until 3 in the morning laughing our asses off at the results.* I've programed better random generators in highschool.

Also, has anyone checked the Fatalgames site? It looks like it's now a flash game site.

Edit: Removed non-family friendly Sexual Features.

[Yuki Akuma]

Well actually in FATAL, some slaves do get an allowance.

It's not the norm, but it happens.

[The Glyphstone]

So I checked the FATAL pdf, average Dark Elf height is aprox 4'. He's... 8 inches tall, and weighs 2 pounds. His nipples must form some sort of supernipple, seeing as how he's roughly a short stick. A young adult age Zero'd stick. His earliest memory is in the future. I've rolled up several characters with the generator *My girlfriend and I were up until 3 in the morning laughing our asses off at the results.* I've programed better random generators in highschool.

Also, has anyone checked the Fatalgames site? It looks like it's now a flash game site.

Pssst. You forgot to edit out the Sexual Features section...