Generica (Team Potato Tree, Thread III)

[LazyJoe]

'How about the Eunician Embassy? I know the guy who owns it.'

[Yuki Akuma]

"Seeing as the guy who owns it is Jimito, that's not a surprise..." Danny mumbles to himself.

[Gengy]

"What did you say, Danny? I didn't catch that." Hicchup blinks, caught be surprise. "I'm afraid I was momentarily stunned when Jack suggesting an actual, honest to Patina, good idea. My deepest regards Jack. Lead us onwards, then, shall you?"

[LazyJoe]

Jack looks less than impressed at Hicchup's surprised attitude towards his idea, and seems reluctant to help Hicchup any more because he's a stupid know-it-all, bordering on sarcastic stupid half-orc mage. But then again, Jack wants a pina colada, so he's leads everyone to the Eunician Embassy.

[TamerBill]

At the embassy the gang is met by several flunkies, who take their coats and any other extreneous items of clothing before showing them to the embassy's very own War Room. It's not very diplomatic, but very handy for planning.

[Yuki Akuma]

Danny turns to Hicchup and says, conversationally, "Why do I keep getting the feeling that entire weeks pass by without anything happening even when it's only been a few minutes?"

[Don Beegles]

Jimito, who has been leaning on the table and looking at the wall jerks upright abruptly. "Wow, I just had the wierdest dream. Wait a minute, where am I? It looks like the embassy but I don't recognize this place." He looks around for a minute and realizes. "Wait, this is the War Room isn't it? I've never been in because I always just thought it was a room for old clothes, and I don't particularly like fauns. Er, anyway, what did I miss?"

[TamerBill]

And now, a quick recap.

Hired by the king to protect him from assassination, Team Potato Tree clashed with a group of celestial ninja who wanted the king dead for crimes against balance. Believing that violence is not always the answer, Danny recieves three days from Red in which to find a peaceful solution. Halfway through his second day the team are no closer to a democracy, and attempts to contact the ninjas' Sensei prove fruitless ('cos he's dead). The team are now gathered in the War Room of the Eunician Embassy, ready to hear Hicchup's top secret plan that will solve all their problems. Except for Nixon, who is terrorising the cook.

[Gengy]

"...and that is my plan." Everyone clapped and the world was right. My genius was rewarded, and I even... no, no, too unrealistic. Jack didn't make more than three sarcastic remarks. Sigh. I suppose we could fall back on petitioning to a deity. But the unreliability of such an action is it's own, dare I think it, devil's advocate. Hmmm. No, no, that's just... insane. Mother would never let me show my face at her grave again. But if it worked, and no one died... Almost to the point of extreme oddity, Hicchup has been uncharacteristically silent. He doesn't even hear Danny's question about time and feeling slowed. Surely if he had, he would have mentioned that time is relative, and no one likes their relatives all that much, but certainly they'll put up with them.

Finally, the half-orc snaps out of his revere. "So. Anyone have anything to say before I tell you what I advise we do next?"

[LazyJoe]

Having been staring into space and dribbling for the past few months minutes, Jack immediately put his hand up, brimming with moderately appropriate insults and less-than-helpful suggestions that seemed to have been maturing for the past few months minutes.

[Yuki Akuma]

Danny just shruges his shoulder, leaning against a column and waiting 'patiently'. He taps his foot a little bit, wooden sandals making "clop" sounds as he does. Yes, of course he's wearing wooden sandals. What did you think he'd be wearing after he changed from peasant-garb to monk-garb?

[Gengy]

"Anyone? Anyone at all?" Hicchup looks at both Jimito and Danny, then sighs. "Fine. Jack? You can say whatever you want, but as a challenge, don't insult anyone in this room."

[Yuki Akuma]

Danny almost has a heart attack when Hicchup responds so quickly! Or, he would, if he were an out-of-shape old man and not an incredibly fit ten-year-old boy.

[LazyJoe]

'Fine,' Jack said.

He went out of the room and called into it 'you all smell and I hate you.'

Having proven he was much smarterer than Hicchup, Jack came back into the room and sat down.

[Gengy]

"That was... very educational, Jack. Thank you. I know I shouldn't, but I shall ask, is there anything else you wanted to say, something about our present situation, perhaps?" Hicchup rolled his eyes and pulled out Howard as he spoke. "Howard, while Jack hurts himself thinking, could you be a wonderful book and give me a list of all the people on the King's payroll?"

[Yuki Akuma]

Danny whisperes to Hicchup. "Aren't you going to tell him that his logic was flawed, and he should have removed us from the room and then insulted us, not gone out of the room and insulted us?"

[TamerBill]

Howard dutifully obliges, producing a very long list spanning several pages. All the usual suspects are listed, including cooks, butlers, guards, gardeners, official bread-butterers, the royal diviner, Team Potato Tree (well, it's written as 'meddlers, taskmen and scapegoats' but you know it's you) and sundry others (friends with Danny, or so I hear). Nixon has a seperate entry as well, with his pay apparently coming in cakes and lemonade.

[Gengy]

"I would, except my phraseology was such that it could have been interpreted in either way. To wit, I said, 'do not insult anyone in this room.' Which could mean, due to my distinct lack of elaboration, do not insult anyone inside this room, or do not insult any while in this room. As I said. Jack's interpretation was very education." Hicchup pulls off his glasses and cleans them on his new vest as he speaks.

[LazyJoe]

(Since the OOC seems to have disappeared, I'm going to be a Jackass and post this here. Jack's logic wasn't flawed. If you look carefully at the particular wording of Hicchups' request, it was possible for Jack to be outside the room and insult those in it without failing Hicchup's challenge.

'Don't insult anyone in this room' has the same connotations as 'don't insult anyone whilst in this room'. The other people in the room, as was Hicchup's implication, stop becoming the subject of the sentence and it shifts towards Jack. Although it relies on unfavourable grammar, it's still a perfectly valid way of passing Hicchup's challenge.

I can now claim to be smarterer than Gengy and Yuki. All that's left now is TB and my victory shall be complete.)

EDIT: Goddamnit, I may be ultra-smert but I leave a page open long enough for people to post before me. For Khuft's sake, let me have my moment!

[Yuki Akuma]

(What about Beegles?

And the search function is your friend.)

[TamerBill]

((OOC: The OOC thread is here, as it always has been. You've got a long way to go before you outsmart me, my boy.))

Edit: Yeah, what he said.

[LazyJoe]

(I already killed Beegles in his sleep. And the search function is not my friend, it takes my lunch money and calls me 'special'. I need that lunch money...)

[TamerBill]

((OOC: Isn't this an IC thread? Take it outside, people, there's roleplayin' to be done!))

[Yuki Akuma]

(...Hicchup has glasses?)

[TamerBill]

((OOC: Now you're stealing my thunder! Quick, Gengy, say something I can take credit for!))

[Gengy]

(OOC: I could have sworn that we were waiting on LazyJoe to make some sort of snappy comment, but since Jack seems to be silent and taking in his one moment for posterity, I will forward this game.)

"Well then, gentlemen... and Jack... we clearly await what it is that Jack was going to say. Unless the insults and unexpected cleverness were all that you had?" Hicchup puts his rims back on his nose and looks over them at Jack. "Because otherwise, I'd like to talk about the possible regicide we have on our hands. I mean, it's not like we have a time limit with which we must not only stipulate, formulate, solidify and see our plans come pass, or anything."

"Though for the life of me, it feels as though we've been thinking about this for months."

[LazyJoe]

(Waiting on a snappy comeback from me? I would have thought you'd know me by now...)

'Well, it depends one what you want to get done. If you want to set up a protection racket I've got loads of contacts with which to hire some muscle and some racquets. If you want to protect the King, use said protection racket to extort all his monies whilst providing minimal yet semi-adequate protection. If you want to set up a republic and therefore make sure we're not paid, talk to local community and religious leaders and incite bloody, bloody revolution. If you want to pleasure a spider monkey, do it in your own time. Take your pick.'

[Yuki Akuma]

Danny elbows Hicchup in the ribs. "You told us you had a plan. Have you forgotten it already? It's not like we've been hanging around waiting for months or anything..."

[Gengy]

"I do indeed have a plan... several, actually, or at least the idea of several, and they all require some assistance that may not be... conventionally acceptable." Hicchup coughs and continues. "Plan number Alpha 32 is hunting down and brutally harming Red and his two siblings. While I am most marginally in favor of this idea, I cannot rightly think of any way that it can conceivably be done... except perhaps to do as Blue suggested..."

Here the half-orc slowed down and let those in the room ponder it over for a second before whispering loud enough to be heard, "and contact a demon."

[LazyJoe]

'Awesome, I always wanted to be eaten alive,' Jack said unhelpfully.