GITP Monster Competition Chat Thread III

[The Vorpal Tribble]

7 more hours to get in those last entries!

Btw, you don't have to request anyone in particular. Debi or I tend to get to them, but anyone who wants to critique is welcome to.

Would someone (if a specific person is required, I'd like to ask The Vorpal Tribble) mind reviewing my deathroses,

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Attack: Slam +9 (1d8+7)
Full Attack: 2 slams +9 (1d8+7)

+8 slam, -1 size mod.

The save DC is Constitution-based and includes a +3 racial bonus.

Odd-numbered bonuses are unusual, but no rules against it. That's pretty rough for 5th level, even a barbarian with a con of 20 making it less than half the time.

Poisonous Scent (Ex): Any creature within 10 feet of a deathrose bed is exposed to a poisonous scent. The poison has a Fortitude saving throw DC of 17 and an initial and secondary damage of: 3d6 Constitution damage, 1d10 Strength damage, and 1d4 damage to Inteligence, Wisdom, and Charisma.

'Intelligence'

Anyways, that is an awful lot of damage. Especially every single stat but dexterity.

That's an average of 10 Con, 5 Str, and 2 to all mental abilities. I'd personally suggest limiting it to either physical or mental stats, and maybe throwing in a paralyzing or sleep effect.


For its CR I'm wavering towards 6, but then its saves are so low, has measely HP and it's unable to fly. I'll just go and leave it at a CR 5 since its attacks and DCs are so high.


Its a pretty straightforward, deadly monster with no real surprises, but can definitely see it being used in some fey-heavy campaign, or perhaps a vicious garden.

[Iamyourking]

If anyone could provide commentary and criticism of my just added entry in the next half hour before it closes that would be nice.

[The Vorpal Tribble]

Quick glance...

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Hit Dice: 16d8+112 (187 hp)

16d8+144 (216 hp)

Base Attack/Grapple: +12/+20

Grapple would be +23

Saves: Fort +17, Ref +10, Will +10

Fort 19

Fungal aura (Ex):

Need to make mention of what the save DC is based off of. Usually would be Constitution so the DC would be... eep, 27

Spell-like Abilities: At will-detect good, dispel magic, entangle (mushrooms), fly, inflict serious wounds, invisibility, 3/day-greater invisibility, teleport, 1/day-blasphemy, finger of death, harm, 1/year-plane shift.

Need to make mention of what caster level.

It deals d8 damage to every stat every round until cured. Should any stat reach 0, the black capped mushrooms will erupt from their body; killing them instantly and giving their body the fungal aura ability.

1d8, and that... that is pretty rough right there. How about allowing them a save each round to not take damage? Still not curing it, but delays it until the next round.

[Iamyourking]

Most of it is fixed to reflect your suggestions, but I wanted to keep the Aura's DC to be relatively passable as it's more of an irritant than a serious threat like the Infestation.

You also missed that I forgot to add the quadruple skill points at level 1, which has also been fixed. Thanks to Debihuman for pointing that out on Behemoth.

[The Vorpal Tribble]

Most of it is fixed to reflect your suggestions, but I wanted to keep the Aura's DC to be relatively passable as it's more of an irritant than a serious threat like the Infestation.

Added a couple more things to the list.

That would be fine, though I'd note the save is purposely lowered. However, what do you do when you increase by its HD? Does it stay a DC 15 even when its got 40 something HD?

You also missed that I forgot to add the quadruple skill points at level 1, which has also been fixed. Thanks to Debihuman for pointing that out on Behemoth.

Possibly missed a number of things. Haven't gone over it in great detail.

[Iamyourking]

Again fixed.

Also, I must be doing the HP calculation wrong because I'm coming up with 8+15*4.5+7*16=188. Where did you get 216?

[The Vorpal Tribble]

Also, I must be doing the HP calculation wrong because I'm coming up with 8+15*4.5+7*16=188. Where did you get 216?

Here the standard D&D formula:

Base average HP
You take the d#, in this case d8, and half it, then add .5

Multiply it by the number of actual hit dice to get the following:

4.5 x 16 = 72

Bonus HP
16 (HD) x 9 (Con mod) = 144

72 + 144 = 216

[Iamyourking]

Ah thats it, I got the modifier wrong.

[The Vorpal Tribble]

Just to point out, creatures of inteligence 1 or 2 are almost always Always Neutral.
Still...Here's my creature, the deadly (and uncreativly named):

I overlooked this earlier. In the way I was using it 'intelligence' means sentience, or an Int of 3+

Creatures of animal intelligence are still neutral as usual.

[Debihuman]

To avoid double posting I'll be editing this to entry for both the deathroses and the thanatheos deathcap.

Let me preface this critique by stating up front that I REALLY like the deathroses. I think this entry could be stronger so I'm going to add a few suggestions. First, the history on these is a bit weak. Too much is "unknown." Perhaps these are a special hot-house breed of roses that escaped into the wild after accidentally being grafted to an assassin vine. That would explain the Slam attack.

Kudos on the 2 different scents. You have an asterisk in the statblock that isn't referenced below. I think it should be noted in the following Skills section.

It seems to me that the Rend ability is missing from the description below in the combat section. Normally a creature can use a Rend after it has made another attack. If the deathrose makes a successful attack with its Slam, it should then be able to Rend. See entry of Troll for an example of this.

For a 3 HD monster, it's very powerful. I'd almost rather see this as a 5 or even 6 HD monster to justify the number of special abilities (special qualities and special attacks added together) it has and its massive Str 25 and Con 23. Those numbers are excessive for a 3 HD creature. It is more powerful than the assassin vine at 4 HD, which has Str 20 and Con 16.

I think you meant to say that creatures that "aren't warned" by the Flower Bed Disguise take only the +2 bonus.

Intoxicating Scent has a Racial bonus. Bonuses to Special Abilities should come from the Ability Focus feat and that only adds +2. It's missing the feat. If you increase the HD to 6, it would gain the feat naturally.

Last of all, I have to admit that I'm disappointed in how the lore checks are presented in the deathrose entry. I was expecting the Knowledge (Local) check to tie into the rumors and superstitions of the local populace.

If you look at the lore checks in MM4, you'll get a much better idea of how to present this.

Now to the Thanatheos Deathcap. VT got the major stuff done. You have some asterisks in the stat block that don't refer to anything below.

The sword should be listed in the treasure. A +1 Keen profane Bastard sword is a nice reward for defeating this creature. Even if the party can't use the sword, they can sell it.

I love the Divine origins of these.

One problem with Fungal Infection. D&D 3.5 no longer uses "Turns" to describe time. It should be "round" or some other unit of time. This wall of text is rather dense. It could benefit from some proofreading and editing. See my suggestions in the spoiler

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Fungal Infestation (Ex): As unnerving as the trail of mushrooms that Deathcaps leave behind them can be, the effects that they can produce with their fungi far outstrip them. Anyone wounded by a Deathcap’s sword must make a DC 27 Fortitude save (Charisma based) or contract an extraordinarily painful and likely terminal case of poisonous mushrooms growing in every vital organ in his or her body.

This takes 1 minute to take effect, at which point the Deathcap can trigger it as a Free Action from any distance. It deals 1d8 points of damage to every stat every round until cured. A new save is allowed every round to delay the effects by one round. Should any stat reach 0, black capped mushrooms will erupt from the victim's body, killing the victim instantly, and giving its body the fungal aura ability.

12 hours later, the corpse re-animates.*

*If you have the Book of Vile Darkness, use the rules for creating Bone Creatures. However, the new undead creature should have an Intelligence score and gains both Fungal Aura and Fungal Infestation. It should also be adjusted for its ability scores and hit dice. [See my notes on this below because I couldn't quite get where the corpsecrafter came from].

The Infestation can be cured through either a Greater Restoration spell, which requires the caster to beat the Deathcap in an opposed caster level test, or through Wish, Miracle, Reality Revision, or any similarly powerful spell or power, which works automatically.

My notes: What should you do if you don't have access to the BoVD? Are there any alternatives for these abilities.

Bonuses is the acceptable plural of bonus. Technically, a bonus is a "good man" [Latin has gender]; the plural would be "bona" as in "bona fide", not "bonii."

Debby

[GreatWyrmGold]

+8 slam, -1 size mod.

Oops. No, wait, I put in Weapon Focus.

Odd-numbered bonuses are unusual, but no rules against it. That's pretty rough for 5th level, even a barbarian with a con of 20 making it less than half the time.

Well, I was just, in essence, guessing the CR based on how said barbarian would likely smash the deathrose bed into some pretty flowers and less-pretty vines in a few good hits.

'Intelligence'

Mih spellink iz naut alwaiz gud.

Anyways, that is an awful lot of damage. Especially every single stat but dexterity.

That's an average of 10 Con, 5 Str, and 2 to all mental abilities. I'd personally suggest limiting it to either physical or mental stats, and maybe throwing in a paralyzing or sleep effect.

I was trying too hard to match the flavor text I had written. I wrote this monster all on-the-spot, which likely affected quality. Oh, well.

For its CR I'm wavering towards 6, but then its saves are so low, has measely HP and it's unable to fly. I'll just go and leave it at a CR 5 since its attacks and DCs are so high.

Its a pretty straightforward, deadly monster with no real surprises, but can definitely see it being used in some fey-heavy campaign, or perhaps a vicious garden.

Yeah, that's why I guestimated at 5.

Let me preface this critique by stating up front that I REALLY like the deathroses.

Thanks!

First, the history on these is a bit weak. Too much is "unknown."

I was trying to make them mysterious. I may have overdone that.

That would explain the Slam attack.

I wanted it to be a monster, not a feature, so a bed needed to be able to move and stuff, not just waft its deadly scent. I imagined it pounding its enemies

Kudos on the 2 different scents.

Thanks!

You have an asterisk in the statblock that isn't referenced below. I think it should be noted in the following Skills section.

I noticed that earlier and fixed it with the Lore.

It seems to me that the Rend ability is missing from the description below in the combat section. Normally a creature can use a Rend after it has made another attack. If the deathrose makes a successful attack with its Slam, it should then be able to Rend. See entry of Troll for an example of this.

Oops. I thought rend was kinda like darkvision or blindsense-no explanation needed.

For a 3 HD monster, it's very powerful. I'd almost rather see this as a 5 or even 6 HD monster to justify the number of special abilities (special qualities and special attacks added together) it has and its massive Str 25 and Con 23. Those numbers are excessive for a 3 HD creature. It is more powerful than the assassin vine at 4 HD, which has Str 20 and Con 16.

Makes sense.

I think you meant to say that creatures that "aren't warned" by the Flower Bed Disguise take only the +2 bonus.

No, I mean that if the druid warns his friends that the flowers aren't normal, they get a +2 bonus, but not the full +4.

Intoxicating Scent has a Racial bonus. Bonuses to Special Abilities should come from the Ability Focus feat and that only adds +2. It's missing the feat. If you increase the HD to 6, it would gain the feat naturally.

It gains an additional bonus on top of the 1/2 HD+ability modifier that most special abilities get. I know I saw a few creatures like that somewhere...

Last of all, I have to admit that I'm disappointed in how the lore checks are presented in the deathrose entry. I was expecting the Knowledge (Local) check to tie into the rumors and superstitions of the local populace.

It was meant to represent the debates. I'll add in superstitions if I can.

If you look at the lore checks in MM4, you'll get a much better idea of how to present this.

Gee, the only Monster Manual I don't have! (Unless they released an MMV and I missed it or forgot about it or something.)

Thanks, and VT, can I fix it now?

[The Vorpal Tribble]

Hey all, this is kinda embarrassing, but it seems I planned and promised two competitions for November and both I'd like to see done, so leaving it up to you.

The Hunt
Two of you team up to make the hunter and the hunted. One creature is designed to pursue and the other to elude the other. Inspired by the start of hunting season in my area (as well as November having Thanksgiving).

Considered To Be Unnatural II
Cthulu-esque creatures and aberrations and abominable things that twist the order of nature and sanity. This was to be the trick of the 'trick or treat' by giving the competition right after Halloween, as everyone seemed to be expecting it for October.

Which might you prefer?

Gee, the only Monster Manual I don't have! (Unless they released an MMV and I missed it or forgot about it or something.)

They did actually.

Thanks, and VT, can I fix it now?

Sorry, just now saw your question. Yes, you can adjust. No worries.

[Morph Bark]

While the former seems much more interesting, it also seems quite a bit harder to pull off right for some of us perhaps, considering it will require a LOT of collaboration.

[The Vorpal Tribble]

While the former seems much more interesting, it also seems quite a bit harder to pull off right for some of us perhaps, considering it will require a LOT of collaboration.

Not necessarily, one of you could write up a predator and then the other make something to flee it. Would actually be easier for the second fellow. Then you just nit pick over little bits of what's left together. Only real collaboration that is strictly required.

[The Glyphstone]

I'd vote for the Cthulhu-themed one, though admittedly because I basically already have my entry written for it from older work of mine. Hunter and Hunted would require me to generate new content, so I'm ambivalent about both.

[SlaadLord]

I vote for 'Considered to be Unnatural II'

[Bhu]

CTHULHU!!!!!

[The Dark Fiddler]

At first I was leaning toward the aberration contest, but now I think The Hunt is an incredibly interesting idea. While it could be a bit more difficult, I think I'm gonna vote for that one.

[unosarta]

I'd vote for the Cthulhu-themed one, though admittedly because I basically already have my entry written for it from older work of mine. Hunter and Hunted would require me to generate new content, so I'm ambivalent about both.

This, pretty much in its entirety. Like, my entry is already written and everything. And I have a short story to go with it!

[UserShadow7989]

I'm torn, really. I love the concept of hunter/hunted, but the way my schedule constantly fluxes it'd be hard to partner up and unfair to anyone who did. Is it possible to make both yourself? I really, really want to do this since the cthulhu one is kinda generic.

On the other hand, y'know, cthulhu. Lemme get back to you on this.

[akma]

I prefer the hunt idea.
Could I do both the hunter and the hunted? I`m used to making monsters alone.
And absouletly no collabaration allowed?
What about making a hunter and a hunted, but unrelated ones?

[The Dark Fiddler]

I prefer the hunt idea.
Could I do both the hunter and the hunted? I`m used to making monsters alone.
And absouletly no collabaration allowed?
What about making a hunter and a hunted, but unrelated ones?

I think the who point is one person make the hunter and one person makes the hunted.

Also, hunter.

Edit: Also, one problem I can see with The Hunt is there being an odd number of participants.

[Bhu]

A few questions:

Must the entry be serious or is horror/comedy okay?

Can we do custom Great Old Ones?

[Morph Bark]

A few questions:

Must the entry be serious or is horror/comedy okay?

Can we do custom Great Old Ones?

Fact: Cthulhu is the cause of the Joker's mental state.

Or at least one of the Old Ones is.

[The Vorpal Tribble]

Ok, as most know, by popular vote went for horrors from beyond. The hunt shall occur, but at a later date...

Must the entry be serious or is horror/comedy okay?

Comedy isn't a problem by me.

Can we do custom Great Old Ones?

Wouldn't they be more along the lines of deities?

[Morph Bark]

Wouldn't they be more along the lines of deities?

Can't we create monster deities as entries then, as long as we focus on the monster part?

[The Vorpal Tribble]

Can't we create monster deities as entries then, as long as we focus on the monster part?

Giving a creature divine ranks is fine, but an actual deity isn't what this specific contest is supposed to be focused on.

If it's just a horribly epic creature its possible, but remember, if it has stats, it can be killed...

[Bhu]

In theory the Great Old Ones aren't Gods, just immeasurably powerful Aliens.

Of course if I go that route I have to end up doing a CR 70+ critter, so maybe thats a bad idea...

[The Vorpal Tribble]

In theory the Great Old Ones aren't Gods, just immeasurably powerful Aliens.

All I can do is point to Lords of Madness and shrug.

[Holocron Coder]

Thinking over if I have an idea to submit for this month...

But as an aside, VT, I've had a name-change since the time I entered a competition. So, Living Bard Song is by HolocronCoder, formerly Daedu Not that it matters, overly.