GITP Monster Competition Chat Thread III

[Zom B]

Well. I'm not so sure anymore that the Kallth have a fighting chance next to the two epic creations - one, literal, the other, in scope - but any review of it would be handy.

EDIT: Having never really ran a campaign where the players had to get to the Underdark from the surface and not owning any of the Underdark-oriented books, just how deep down is it? I took a guess with the Radiosense's depth modifier, but if the Underdark is 400 miles under the surface (+40 bonus!), I need to redo it.

[The Vorpal Tribble]

First one for any of these challenges (and for an epic creature of this scale).

Ok, critique sent.

Whew, epic creatures give me back aches. I'll get to you as well ZomB if Debi doesn't first.

Edit:

EDIT: Having never really ran a campaign where the players had to get to the Underdark from the surface and not owning any of the Underdark-oriented books, just how deep down is it? I took a guess with the Radiosense's depth modifier, but if the Underdark is 400 miles under the surface (+40 bonus!), I need to redo it.

Oh, I have no idea. I'm just calling anything even under the dirt the underdark.

As one of my examples show, even a cellar qualifies.

[unosarta]

Well. I'm not so sure anymore that the Kallth have a fighting chance next to the two epic creations - one, literal, the other, in scope - but any review of it would be handy.

Actually, I really like the Kallth. The picture is amazing (where did you find it? I want ), and the execution is pretty well done too. The image of one of those things, strange body parts a-glow, and tracking their prey, would be sure to send a shiver or three down a Drow's back.

And putting a large number of them, not even necessarily a pack, into a giant maze, would be incredibly hard on anyone's psyche. Oh no, that corridor ends in a solid wall. And that one too. And look, now you are stuck in a box! And, the Kallth would make probably the best Nuclear weapons tester/sniffer ever.

Also; Anyone have any more critiques for the Xsoaetsziq?

[LOTRfan]

Thank's again, Vorpal Tribble.

The Xsoaetsziq is definitely a cool concept. Very interesting.

[unosarta]

Thank's again, Vorpal Tribble.

The Xsoaetsziq is definitely a cool concept. Very interesting.

Thanks! I was thinking maybe they would be more like the Formian's less civilized cousins, until the World Building-itp gets a D&D setting equivalent.

[The Vorpal Tribble]

Thank's again, Vorpal Tribble.

Speed: 60 ft. (10 squares)

[Zom B]

Actually, I really like the Kallth. The picture is amazing (where did you find it? I want )

Searched DeviantArt for "wolf creature" and after looking through a bunch of creations that looked like the Alien Hive Queen spent a wild night in a kennel, I found that beauty staring at me. Originally the kallth had a sort of giraffe-knob on its forehead that it used to project the illusions, but I gladly changed the description to fit. I linked to the artist's page below the picture if you want to look at some more of their stuff. His Prince Zuko is amazingly nice but so is about everything in the gallery.

and the execution is pretty well done too. The image of one of those things, strange body parts a-glow, and tracking their prey, would be sure to send a shiver or three down a Drow's back.

I'm happy with their superiority at hunting. They can track using their Track/Survival, they can sniff you out, they can see through, say, wooden structures like house walls, and they can lure you out by mimicking sounds. I didn't include it, but they like using the sound of a baby crying for that.

And putting a large number of them, not even necessarily a pack, into a giant maze, would be incredibly hard on anyone's psyche. Oh no, that corridor ends in a solid wall. And that one too. And look, now you are stuck in a box!

Hadn't though of the maze idea, but they are pretty well suited to all the tunnels and corridors you can find in the Underdark, and their immunity to their own illusions means that they can lay down a wall and wait behind it to ambush you.

Thanks again for the critique on the flavor and fluff!

[unosarta]

Searched DeviantArt for "wolf creature" and after looking through a bunch of creations that looked like the Alien Hive Queen spent a wild night in a kennel, I found that beauty staring at me. Originally the kallth had a sort of giraffe-knob on its forehead that it used to project the illusions, but I gladly changed the description to fit.

Humph. Whenever I search DeviantArt, I never have such luck.

I'm happy with their superiority at hunting. They can track using their Track/Survival, they can sniff you out, they can see through, say, wooden structures like house walls, and they can lure you out by mimicking sounds. I didn't include it, but they like using the sound of a baby crying for that.

That has got to be one of the creepiest ways to be lured out of hiding.
Or, if they know anything about you at all (personal history and such), they could make sounds or images that are really personal to you. Like, if your wife died, they would make her shape, and have her lure you out before they eat you.

Hadn't though of the maze idea, but they are pretty well suited to all the tunnels and corridors you can find in the Underdark, and their immunity to their own illusions means that they can lay down a wall and wait behind it to ambush you.

Thanks again for the critique on the flavor and fluff!

I was just thinking, a maze inhabited by Minotaur who have trained their Kallth to work in packs, and then employ Kobolds to make traps. That would be fun.

"Ah, man, all these traps are killing me!"
"Look, it's a pit! Jump over!"
*Jumps over the pit*
*When they land on the ground across from the pit, they fall, down, down, into a layer of spikes, instead of landing on the solid ground*
DM: ....

"Well, I suppose I deserve that for even thinking about using this dungeon. So, what characters do you guys want to roll up next?"

Even if they made it past all of the pits, traps, illusions and horrible, horrible spikey death, they would still need to fight the minotaurs.

[Debihuman]

I'll take this one Debi. Expect a message, LOTRfan.

Is this the first creation you've attempted btw? Epic is tough even for the veterans.

Thanks -- epic creatures are kinda beyond me.

Kallth look good. I'm not seeing any issues but it's late and I may have missed something. Is radiosense your own creation or is it from another source?

Edit: Even though the Atroxasaurus is epic, I'm not sure it should qualify for Divine Rank 0. Change Organization to Solitary (Unique) and that should clear it up. Also, if it is a divine rank 0, you need to add Immortality as a Special Quality.

Creatures of this rank are sometimes called quasi-deities or hero deities. Creatures that have a mortal and a deity as parents also fall into this category. These entities cannot grant spells, but are immortal and usually have one or more ability scores that are far above the norm for their species. They may have some worshipers. Ordinary mortals do not have a divine rank of 0. They lack a divine rank altogether.

Immortality

All deities (even those of rank 0) are naturally immortal and cannot die from natural causes. Deities do not age, and they do not need to eat, sleep, or breathe. The only way for a deity to die is through special circumstances, usually by being slain in magical or physical combat. Deities of rank 1 or higher are not subject to death from massive damage.

Debby

[Zom B]

Kallth look good. I'm not seeing any issues but it's late and I may have missed something. Is radiosense your own creation or is it from another source?

My creation, but I wanted to phrase it so that others can use it or I can use it in the future.

[HalfTangible]

The Vraal has some statblock issues that I'll be addressing.

Hit Dice are 14d10+56 (133 hp) [14 X 5.5 = 77 plus bonus hp (4x14= 56) for a total [77 +56] of 133 hp].

BAB/Grapple: this varies on monster type. Magical beast is the same as fighter. BAB = HD. Grapple is HD + Str modifier + Special size modifier.
BAB is +14. Grapple is +21.

Speed is first listed by feet. Speed is 40 ft.

Attack only should list the creature's primary attack. Damage needs Str modifier. Secondary attacks use 1/2 Str modifier for damage unless there is a special ability or feat that changes this. Claws and bites are melee attacks and that should be noted in the statblock. Primary attacks are listed first in full attack line.

Attack: Claws + 21 melee (2d6+7)
Full Attack: 2 Claws +21 melee (2d6+7) and Bite +16 melee (3d8+3)

Space and Reach are based on creature's size. You note extended reach by tail after standard reach.

Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft. (10 ft. with tail)

The special attacks and special qualities are listed by name alphabetically. You note the details separately in a text section. See SRD or 3.5 MM for how this is done.

I don't under stand the special attack. It can only reach 10 feet with its tail. How is it managing a 3 square sweep and is this sweep done with the tail? From the picture, it looks like the creature uses its tail for balance. I'd recommend toning down the damage the tail sweep does.

"Regeneration (4d6)" is sufficient. However, you should probably make this a set number since most monsters are written that way. For example, a troll has Regeneration 5.

A creature that is dazzled by bright light is Light Sensitive. This would be an Extraordinary ability.

Racial bonuses (and penalties) should come from Special abilities or be listed in the text description. If the bonuses/penalties apply to skills they should be listed in the Skills section.

More to come when I'm not so tired. :-)

Thanks. I had to wing most of it because i've never built a monster in dnd format. Excuse me while i go edit this stuff in...

[LOTRfan]

Thanks -- epic creatures are kinda beyond me.

Kallth look good. I'm not seeing any issues but it's late and I may have missed something. Is radiosense your own creation or is it from another source?

Edit: Even though the Atroxasaurus is epic, I'm not sure it should qualify for Divine Rank 0. Change Organization to Solitary (Unique) and that should clear it up. Also, if it is a divine rank 0, you need to add Immortality as a Special Quality.




Debby

Changed the organization. I think there is a sidebar (either in Deities and Demigods of in the Epic Level Handbook) that states if you are using them in conjunction you could add divine rank: 0 to all the abominations. If this contest requires the more standard version, I'll change it immediately.

[HalfTangible]

I did most of the suggestions aside from the part about racial bonuses. I'm not sure why that would go in a seperate section from the thing it's affecting, but mostly i'm just lazy.

[Zom B]

That has got to be one of the creepiest ways to be lured out of hiding.

I got the idea from mountain lions and bobcats (and I believe panthers/jaguars, too). They can imitate the sound of a baby crying (I think they can even make a sound like a person screaming), and it seemed fitting that a relative of these cats (I always assumed the displacer beast was somehow related to a panther, anyway) that was of human intelligence might learn to hone this ability further.

I did most of the suggestions aside from the part about racial bonuses. I'm not sure why that would go in a seperate section from the thing it's affecting, but mostly i'm just lazy.

You can look at my Kallth and see an example of how racial bonuses to skills are listed. They're put elsewhere so you can read the stat block easier.

[The Vorpal Tribble]

Noticed this morning that next month's will be our 50th competition, and 4 years exactly since I started these on October 2006.

This Halloween competition needs something special to it. I've had the theme planned since last year, but wondering what else I should add...

Definitely going to have a trophy award.

[Debihuman]

Wow, 50 contests. Very cool. I hope you think of something suitably creepy.

Debby

[BladeofOblivion]

Wow, 50 contests. Very cool. I hope you think of something suitably creepy.

Debby

Just make the criteria: "Must give nightmares to at least 10% of readers."

[Zom B]

Hmm, if that's the criterion, I have something in mind.

[HalfTangible]

Me too, flavor wise, but i'm not sure how i'd get it to work in a dnd setting.

[Sir Shadow]

Hopefully I'll have the time to enter :)

[Bhu]

A witch and black cat theme

[The Vorpal Tribble]

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Done by request by Domochevsky (and font by myself)

[unosarta]

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Done by request by Domochevsky (and font by myself)

Dagnabbit, and I made that creature for no reason at all. I might just post it up all by its singular.

[Bhu]

Feel no pain unosarta. It's tuff to win the monster competition. I think I've lost more than I won and I've entered a lot.

[The Vorpal Tribble]

...had the new contest written, and was 2 seconds away from posting when firefox crashed

Tomorrow...

[unosarta]

Feel no pain unosarta. It's tuff to win the monster competition. I think I've lost more than I won and I've entered a lot.

Well, it was mostly that I had written up a monster for the next one based on the sort-of-not-really hints that VT dropped, but then it is about pumpkins. And my creature was Lovecraftian undersea horror.

Actually, no, I don't really care about winning the contest. More often than not, I enter because I love the theme, and want to work my creative juices, and because I can get a lot of feedback on these thread, both about how I homebrew, and how the monster works.

[The Vorpal Tribble]

Bah, I didn't drop no hints

Contest is now up!

[Mulletmanalive]

I'd been hoping that there'd be something a bit more grisly in the theme but oh well. Maybe this contest will prove that it's possible to make plant creatures that are actively cool rather than a little silly...[i'm looking at you Phantom Fungus ]

[The Vorpal Tribble]

Watch The Ruins and tell me about how plants aren't grisly.

Or the real life fungus that invades ant brains and turns them into zombies to take the spores somewhere to their liking before sprouting from their heads.

[Debihuman]

Actually, no, I don't really care about winning the contest. More often than not, I enter because I love the theme, and want to work my creative juices, and because I can get a lot of feedback on these thread, both about how I homebrew, and how the monster works.

That's the spirit! I actually do more critiquing than actual homebrewing these days. I try to be fair in doing so and to keep true to the creature as much as possible. However, this is one contest that I may actually enter if I have the time. I have a few ideas....

Debby