LGBTitp - Part Seven

[Serpentine]

But that's not all they were used for. The balls and the dances and the carefully-choreographed meetings, they were so that young men and women could meet and find someone they might like to develop something with. That's exactly the same as dating sites: it's a way to meet strangers, to find some that might make good friends and/or partners. It's not "over someone you already know", it's "in the absense of already knowing someone, and having a lack of means to meet new people". It's just a pub, except if you don't like the sleazy guy who just sat next to you, you can just delete their comment and ignore them.

[Danne]

it's a way to meet strangers, to find some that might make good friends and/or partners.

Ah. Maybe that's the part I don't like. Hermit, remember?

Which reminds me, I should probably introduce myself to my neighbors at some point. Or something. I really need someone to drag me kicking and screaming encourage me to go to social events.

[GrassyGnoll]

The idea of dating sites weirds me out because it's romance(?) that doesn't grow out of something preexisting.

It's a thoroughly bizarre idea to me, and one that makes me more than just a little uncomfortable.

Then again, so is money.

It's not the most romantic environment granted, but maintaining a page takes so little time. Plenty of people are already in a relationship and just looking for queer folks to hang out with, text buddies, etc. I wish I'd made a profile when I was still in my rural hometown and closet-carpentered-for-one.

That may not be too helpful, as I am not within the typical lesbian's range of sex-or-dateable-ness.

It covers all yer queer camps o' common dateability. The aforementioned friends (and self) are all trans, so the stud-internet-tractor-beam effect may just be concurrent to our paradoxically unsexed sex appeal. Speaking of which, we trannies are unrepentant web junkies. In a more tractable mood, I just might effloresce in amusing exchanges of uncensored nerdery.

Until then.

[golentan]

But... But... The balls and carefully choreographed meetings were sometimes intended that way by their organizers but not always so by the attendees. More often, the unpledged would simply know others in their strata from childhood, and use such gatherings as simple social events or an avenue to pursue existing friendships. And even when so used, they were a means to meet people before deciding if they were romantic prospects, rather than deciding someone is a romantic prospect and then meeting them.

[Serpentine]

Goletan... I kinda think you might have a slightly distorted (or at least overly-generalising) view of what goes on on dating sites. Take my friend: he met a girl on OKCupid. They got on fine online, and became friends. Then they decided to meet in person a couple of times, to decide if there was anything more to it. It turned out there was, and so then they decided to get together properly. They didn't go "I'm looking for a girlfriend, you're looking for a boyfriend... We're a couple now! :D". They said, "I'm looking for a girlfriend, you're looking for a boyfriend... And we're both looking for friends! Lets talk and see if we get along, and if we do we should meet up and then maybe we could try dating if we want to and if not we could try being friends! :D"
I think that, most of the time, the meeting on dating sites is more like, say, here on the forums, than Chatroulette. You seem to be assuming that the Chatroulette style is the be-all and end-all.

Not everyone has "strata from childhood" from whom to select their lifelong mate. Not everyone has an assortment of clubs and social gatherings at which to meet new people in the flesh - in this regard, I expect dating sites are a huge boon to people way out bush. Not everyone assumes that meeting someone on the internet means you fall for them at first email, and bang 'em at first meeting.

edit: Put it this way. Do you find it skeevy that some people might join up to this forum hoping to make some friends, as well as have interesting discussions on a wide variety of topics?

[Jacklu]

Heads up, all.

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