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  1. - Top - End - #1411
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    Default Re: Drowtales: The Info Dump

    It looks like the demon (a Shard of the demon god from a few chapters ago) is going down. And Kiel is a mother? The Drowtales world is doooomed!
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  2. - Top - End - #1412
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    Default Re: Drowtales: The Info Dump

    Annnd the great shard of the Demon God ends with a

    Spoiler
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  3. - Top - End - #1413
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    Default Re: Drowtales: The Info Dump

    ...ouchies.
    Quote Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien, 1955
    I thought Tom Bombadil dreadful — but worse still was the announcer's preliminary remarks that Goldberry was his daughter (!), and that Willowman was an ally of Mordor (!!).

  4. - Top - End - #1414
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vinyadan View Post
    ...ouchies.
    Still alive though. But what's under the mask? And whatever it is, it needs to die yesterday.
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  5. - Top - End - #1415
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    Default Re: Drowtales: The Info Dump

    You monster!!
    Alamryn Kven, a druid who tries very hard not to be useless.
    Celesta Halla, a fearless barbarian.
    Jheren Falconer, a drifter ranger.

    DMing Ljonarian Enigma: Imperial Affairs and The Pirate Dream: Sliced Heart

    I have a DeviantArt account, yay...

    Avatar by CoffeeIncluded, many thanks!

  6. - Top - End - #1416
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    She's really let herself go: old clothes, unkempt hair, one thumb on the wrong side of the hand...
    Quote Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien, 1955
    I thought Tom Bombadil dreadful — but worse still was the announcer's preliminary remarks that Goldberry was his daughter (!), and that Willowman was an ally of Mordor (!!).

  7. - Top - End - #1417
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    The thumb is hidden behind Turtle's leg. And boy, does she looks pissed off. (Eyes are shadowed? Hiding that she's tainted from the two monsters maybe?). While the two monsters might have an immunity to mana arts, they won't have an immunity to being stabbed.
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  8. - Top - End - #1418
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    Question. I'm new to drowtales.

    Is this good? I have heard... things

  9. - Top - End - #1419
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    Default Re: Drowtales: The Info Dump

    If the things were about sexual depravity, the (public) comic was modified a long time ago, removing almost all of the instances. The two instances that are left aren't portrayed in a sexy way (Quain forcing her daughter to have a heir and Rik, a dragon-drow hybrid that is a one-of-a-kind experiment and completely loses his head when he meets an underage shapeshifter capable of assuming a form like his).

    Drowtales is OK, it has fairly awesome arcs, but also long arcs that seem to be there just because they have to and have the wrong focus. You should just start from the beginning and see if it does for you.
    Last edited by Vinyadan; 2019-03-01 at 05:36 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien, 1955
    I thought Tom Bombadil dreadful — but worse still was the announcer's preliminary remarks that Goldberry was his daughter (!), and that Willowman was an ally of Mordor (!!).

  10. - Top - End - #1420
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    Yeah, the worst stuff was redone a long time ago. It can still be very violent and bloody at times so it's NSFW. Drowtales has some great art, a while lot of characters who you will sometimes hate and then cheer for. As Vinyadan said, take a look at the start of the series.
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  11. - Top - End - #1421
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    I guess that Sillice found someone new to call a monster! Woo hoo! Apparently, her tainted ally is a son of hers of whom we had not heard anything until now (actually a cameo).

    Also, panel 3: Sillice's hand has the wrong thumb, this time without any doubt http://drowtales.com/mainarchive.php?sid=12525
    Quote Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien, 1955
    I thought Tom Bombadil dreadful — but worse still was the announcer's preliminary remarks that Goldberry was his daughter (!), and that Willowman was an ally of Mordor (!!).

  12. - Top - End - #1422
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vinyadan View Post
    I guess that Sillice found someone new to call a monster! Woo hoo! Apparently, her tainted ally is a son of hers of whom we had not heard anything until now (actually a cameo).

    Also, panel 3: Sillice's hand has the wrong thumb, this time without any doubt http://drowtales.com/mainarchive.php?sid=12525
    Sillice has a lot of kids. And in this case Sillice is right. These people are monsters. You are correct, there is something going on with that thumb. Kern does not make that kind of mistake so there is a story there we don't know yet. Might be a golem hand.
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  13. - Top - End - #1423
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    Does anyone know how updates work nowadays? During the last month, there has been more or less one update every three days. Once, it used to be something like 6 or 7 per week. Have there been any communications? The RSS feed tends to date updates as if they had happened in the past, which means that they don't show up in the last updates on the app I use, and the last page didn't send any RSS notice.
    Quote Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien, 1955
    I thought Tom Bombadil dreadful — but worse still was the announcer's preliminary remarks that Goldberry was his daughter (!), and that Willowman was an ally of Mordor (!!).

  14. - Top - End - #1424
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    With only Kern and Kite working on it now updates come along when the page is done. So updates can be real inconsistent. Please don't die Diva.
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  15. - Top - End - #1425
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    Does this mean that the teacher they fought in the morgue had already been turned into a summon/abomination/immortal when she was killed by the glutton demon that contaminated Naal Faen?
    Last edited by Vinyadan; 2019-03-16 at 07:13 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien, 1955
    I thought Tom Bombadil dreadful — but worse still was the announcer's preliminary remarks that Goldberry was his daughter (!), and that Willowman was an ally of Mordor (!!).

  16. - Top - End - #1426
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    Yep. The teacher was one of Snad's earlier projects. The teacher actually pulled out a piece of the crystal and called it a piece of her soul during the fight. Shortly before she got munched on of course. Seems that Snad's "immortality" isn't what it's advertised as being as Angry Eyes has discovered the hard way. And it shows that Kiel is a damn good summoner in order to pull off this trick with only very basic info. So what comes next? "I can talk! I can talk!" or Kiel ringing the dinner bell?
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  17. - Top - End - #1427
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    I have to say that Sillice is right on this one. It's also a bit strange that Nau didn't check on the kid earlier.
    Quote Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien, 1955
    I thought Tom Bombadil dreadful — but worse still was the announcer's preliminary remarks that Goldberry was his daughter (!), and that Willowman was an ally of Mordor (!!).

  18. - Top - End - #1428
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vinyadan View Post
    I have to say that Sillice is right on this one. It's also a bit strange that Nau didn't check on the kid earlier.
    Well there was the dead body in the elevator that slowed him down.
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  19. - Top - End - #1429
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    "Sorry Shashana, I first stole your pyjamas, now I'll steal your ward".

    Although she'd be right if she really went through with it. She can't protect the body*, and it isn't just a holy relic waiting for Sharess to come back: it's probably the most powerful weapon in the underworld. Better she take it, instead of just waiting for Snadhya to steal it and use it.

    *Maybe she could, if Sillice and her family were made into permanent guardians, but this still isn't like when Orthorbbae was a conflict-free zone housing dozens of the most powerful mages and warriors Chel had to offer. Plus, Shashana had some sort of research program going on in which she put summoning stones into living beings, and, unless some of the Val are going out once in a while to hunt and have a summoner work on their prey, I doubt it's still ongoing.
    Last edited by Vinyadan; 2019-03-22 at 07:26 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien, 1955
    I thought Tom Bombadil dreadful — but worse still was the announcer's preliminary remarks that Goldberry was his daughter (!), and that Willowman was an ally of Mordor (!!).

  20. - Top - End - #1430
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    I'm not sad that Diva couldn't do it. And I hope part of the reason is Ragini.
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  21. - Top - End - #1431
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    Spoiler: Things are Bad
    Show
    Chel is massively screwed. Snad's damn flower has gotten loose in the city and at least one district has been quarantined as a result. I hope Kiel and Nau don't get infected. That's one of the many reasons bioweapons are so dangerous. Once unleashed you can't control it unless it's something that can't spread person to person.
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  22. - Top - End - #1432
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    Maybe there has already been some talk about this in the past, but I thought I would link this: http://www.drowtales.com/wordpress/?p=18020

    Apparently, this is the second to last chapter of the comic. I don't know if there will be a "Moonlight Age" or side stories series after this one, or if it's really the end for anything this side of the paywall.
    Quote Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien, 1955
    I thought Tom Bombadil dreadful — but worse still was the announcer's preliminary remarks that Goldberry was his daughter (!), and that Willowman was an ally of Mordor (!!).

  23. - Top - End - #1433
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    This seems to me a huge elephant in the room that's been there for years, and one of the most important points in the whole story. Kiel is the only person we know of who managed to merge with her demon without external help, is still alive, and didn't seem to have odd behavioural changes. And merging is the only known way to stop the taint from being a death sentence. Shashana said that botched (aka standard) tainting could be fixed. There's lots of people who need it: all of the Vel'Sharen (among which there is Chris), Nishi, Sillice, the Vloz crew, Tirade, uncountable commoners...

    So it's good that it came up. I hope it's consequential.
    Quote Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien, 1955
    I thought Tom Bombadil dreadful — but worse still was the announcer's preliminary remarks that Goldberry was his daughter (!), and that Willowman was an ally of Mordor (!!).

  24. - Top - End - #1434
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    http://www.drowtales.com/wordpress/?p=18080

    If I read correctly, the Drowtales forums will soon end, and will be substituted by an official Discord.
    Quote Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien, 1955
    I thought Tom Bombadil dreadful — but worse still was the announcer's preliminary remarks that Goldberry was his daughter (!), and that Willowman was an ally of Mordor (!!).

  25. - Top - End - #1435
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vinyadan View Post
    http://www.drowtales.com/wordpress/?p=18080

    If I read correctly, the Drowtales forums will soon end, and will be substituted by an official Discord.
    Yeah, the forums are being closed down in favor of Discord. Apparently the last mod left and not many people are using the forums anymore. So got to talk on Discord now.
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  26. - Top - End - #1436
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    Things go from bad to worse for poor Chrys'tel.

    [SPOILER= Her taint has gotten worse to the point that she cannot even feel the pain from coughing up blood from her insides. Wonder what her endgame will be- will she be the first of the "hero" original child cast to die or will Naal tell Kiel about what she's seen and Kiel will figure out a way to merge Chrys'tel's taint that is different to Snadhya'runes' methods?[SPOILER]

    On top of that her Balvhakara boyfriend has now dumped her because his clan feels Zala'ess' alliance is going nowhere. How is Zala'ess herself taking this?
    Last edited by Nerdette090; 2019-07-02 at 05:29 PM.

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    Since Drowtales is ending soonish, I thought of doing a reread and write reviews for each chapter. Would anyone be interested in reading them?

    Also, if that is the Kyorl seer, she's very pushy. No surprise that the Sharen didn't let her out of her basement, and Zala didn't like her.
    Quote Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien, 1955
    I thought Tom Bombadil dreadful — but worse still was the announcer's preliminary remarks that Goldberry was his daughter (!), and that Willowman was an ally of Mordor (!!).

  28. - Top - End - #1438
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vinyadan View Post
    Since Drowtales is ending soonish, I thought of doing a reread and write reviews for each chapter. Would anyone be interested in reading them?
    I think that would be interesting.

    Quote Originally Posted by Vinyadan View Post
    Also, if that is the Kyorl seer, she's very pushy. No surprise that the Sharen didn't let her out of her basement, and Zala didn't like her.
    I think Chrys may have more pull with some of the remaining Sharen than her mom Zala does. Don't think that's the Seer the Sharen had in the basement. She was a lot more laid back and dressed much more colorfully. And the "white one" is the only one trying to distract from what is really going on. I wonder if Chrystal is starting to realize that Naal is Naal now? Also wonder what is Naal is going to do here. Might the white one end up Naal chow and Naal takes over her body?
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  29. - Top - End - #1439
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    Ok, here is the review of the Prologue. It's very long, and I don't think the others will be this large. But the Prologue is immensely compressed, and contains a lot of text, as well as many distinct plotlines.

    The prologue is the first chapter a new reader will read. It retells a history of the final years of the dark elves, followed by that of Chel and its main institutions, the advent of tainting, the foundation of the Nidraa clan, the Nidraa war, and a reflection about its consequences.

    Let’s start with the cover. We see Sillice, standing before her troops. She determinately stares forward, and her hands, chest, and shoulder are dirty with blood, while her armour and sword are cracked. Her soldiers are shown in different attitudes: the guy with a mace is looking for an enemy to smash; Kadara yells a rallying cry; and Kau’shala, the tactician, is calmly considering the situation.
    I think it’s a very good cover. First, it looks beautiful. Second, it’s meaningful and synthetic: it tells us what to expect from this chapter (war), who is leading (Sillice), and what personalities we’ll meet. Sillice is represented as the main character of this chapter, and a major character for the rest of the comic’s run.

    Part I: Ancient History

    The prologue proper starts with an introduction, in which an unknown narrator (p.1) introduces the drow as the bad guys of human myth, effectively warning readers who are not familiar with D&D that the main characters probably won’t be champions of goodness. It is interesting that the last two panels effectively abandon history and veer into human mythology, at least compared to what the main comic will really show us.

    Pages 2-3 are an effective synopsis. Even the drawing style is synthetic. Maybe the lights look a bit too disembodied and metaphorical, but the text makes up for it. A small detail: we are told that the elves retreated to the sky: probably an allusion to the Skyworld, that, by now, I guess has been dropped from the story.

    A side note: D&D Drow are famously bound to Lolth. Sharess instead is the Forgotten Realms goddess of "hedonism, festhalls, and sensual fulfilment". Which is unfortunate, given that the drow are described as incestuous in page 1. For a new reader, these aren't nice things to put together, and it's even more unlucky, considering that the main comic is, as far as I remember, free of this stuff.

    Page 4 is our first look of Chel. It’s great. The only problem is that it doesn’t explain where the light comes from -- that the pillar of light at the centre of the market is a natural phenomenon to which the city owes its existence. It won’t be important for much of the comic, but it does make the talk about light a bit empty: Chel is exceptional because of the Pillar; without this being explained, it sounds like it could have been built anywhere with sufficient room.
    Population is given at 100.000, but later will be raised to one million. But it’s an unimportant detail -- what matters is that it’s huge and overpopulated, but has very little resources. We also are told of clans warring each other; I think that there was no need to call them “powers”.

    Page 5 introduces the Val’Sharess and, as a side remark, the few and dangerous overworld expeditions. I think it’s good that her role wasn’t explained the way Diva would later do (in a positive light), because it leaves room for ambiguity, thus allowing us to later side with Ariel. Instead, she is presented like a figure already experiencing a crisis: she only can keep “a semblance of unity” in the city.

    Page 6 introduces the drow proper and intergenerational conflict, page 7 the drow subtypes and the taint. I have two things to observe: one is that Ssu are always said to be united, but they actually have two clans, the Kyorl and the Dutan’vir. The second is that the blind drow subtype won’t see much action.

    Page 8 is a bit hard to read. It should have stated from the first caption that the person talking is a dark elf. I also am not sure of what the characters represent: maybe drows become more aggressive and warlike, the more generations pass? At least it’s clear that the problem is internal strife.

    Also, this is Sha’sana talking, but she is an evolved, so… uh? I guess she was already aware of Snadhya.

    Part II: The Recent Past

    Page 9 introduces a new narrator, Mikilu, and the Nidraa. I like this page: the Nidraa seem to get closer the further you read. Page 10 has an oddity in that, to protest against the Imperial anti-tainted policy, a Dutanvir faction joins the Kyorl. The Belds are introduced as a bunch of insane aristocrats with a siege mentality, but what is important is that the great turmoil and violence that has spilled among clans and commoners alike (p.11), and it’s communicated very well.

    I think that these pages are interesting for a slightly meta reason: before the Nidraa, the tainted seem to have existed as a cross-class community with a particular ideology that occasionally lived with the untainted (unlike e.g. the proto-Vloz).

    Part III: The Present

    Page 12 starts the actual story of this chapter. We get some wide shots, and, for once, we see our new narrator (Kau’shala) at the beginning of his monologue (all other narrators are shown at the end of their monologues). Page 13 introduces the bloodlines. There is a mistake here, in that we aren’t shown Sarvswati, while Sillice will later praise her, be anxious to see her, and presume her dead.

    Page 14 introduces Sillice. She likes to fight, she’s very proud of herself and her clan, and is very judgmental. P. 15: she apparently expects an easy victory, and Kaushala doesn’t seem to agree. It took me years to understand why I cannot read that map, and it’s because Zala’s symbol is weird (might as well have used the standard Sharen symbol); the Dutanvir symbol wasn’t really introduced, and why is it spinning around?; and because the bad guys are not shown, and the same goes for the city streets.

    Pages 16-17 introduce the fall of the Dutanvir. As a side story, it is rather disconnected from the Sharen main plot, and more like an extended cameo for a whole clan. However, it does cast a doubt over Sillice’s expectations of fun, it shows that the events are unfolding on a very large scale, and I guess strengthens Mikilu’s character when she shows up later in the tower. Also, Hi Koil! Koil is probably the first character to hint to the reader that the Sharen may actually be pricks, and I guess is useful as a testimony of what the Sarghress (major players) thought and did back then. Nice detail with the Sharen head.

    18-21: scenes of orderly, small-group fighting, Sillice’s doubts, and the introduction of the commoners as Nidraa weapons. P.22 is the tipping point: it’s where all hell turns loose. The art literally turns dark and the fights become massive and confused, very different from what we had previously seen, as we are explained why demons are a bad deal. P.22-25 show the actions of a Sharen subhouse, and explains that the tainted can disable golems and corrupt and convert units. It’s where the Sharen army is turned into “survivors” that cannot catch their enemy and are forced to advance in a “nest of monsters”, to the point of having to retreat. This will add weight to Sillice not retreating, and prepares for when Sillice finds herself alone.

    Pp. 25-27 introduce the Kyorl crusade against the Dutanvir. There’s very little text. I think it does a very good job at showing the Kyorl as single-minded, what with all the spears being at the same height, and the cleansers really look they were singing mass and burning incense, so a good introduction for their religious mindset. However, the text should have said that they were going to the Dutanvir after they had already been defeated. Something that also adds to the confusion is that we have just been told that the tainted could turn against their kin. So a new reader doesn’t actually know that the Kyorl are acting like murderers and selectively saving people they can use to enlarge their clan.

    pp. 28-29: Hi golem lady! In p.29, Kaushala should have said something like “No one has made it” or “they didn’t make it”, rather than “no one has come”. And maybe Sillice should have interrupted him sooner when he started talking about gardening: this should be a moment of enormous emotional turmoil, after all.

    Pp. 30-33: The last stand of Sillice’s bloodline. The encirclement doesn’t look too bad: they have a golem that could break through anything. I like the change in registers in the dialogue in pp. 31-32: at first Kalki is teasing, but speaks like a commander to another commander; then Sillice recognises her as a relative, and Kalki mocks her with tropes from intergenerational conflict, while Sillice addresses her not as honourless or what have you, but as a “rotten brat”, and implies that she was present when she was born (something that the comic never explained). In page 32, we get back to “honour before anything” in the mouths of people who are not familiar with this “Kalki”. And, in p. 33, we have a shock that had been carefully laid out earlier: the dragon eats one of the narrators, while Kalki starts talking Sillice’s language (loyalty and strength) in a final attempt to convince her. The scene closes with a final pledge of unconditional loyalty from Sillice’s bloodline, which I think is a nice touch.

    Pp. 34-35: We learn the most important happening in the chapter: the tower has been stromed, its residents slaughtered. Nishi is unexplainably there. And, as Nirnaya advances and accuses Sillice of being the perpetrator, her black silhouette underscores… her tainted eyes. This is just one of the details that urge us to side with Sillice: Sker and Mikilu react with confusion to what they see, while Nirnaya claims to mysteriously know what’s going on; Sillice’s answer would be nonsensical, if she were the culprit; and the little we have seen of her power is creating some ice, while the bodies are reduced to unrecognizable lumps of flesh with white ribs sticking out of them.

    Pp. 36-38: The aftermath; or the attempt to report the endings of different storylines revolving around the war. It’s a fairly nuanced storytelling -- Sha’sana starts her monologue as un reliable narrator, reporting what others are saying, but then steers towards what she knows is true: the Nidraa still live.

    P. 39: We are given some information concerning responsibility to keep us interested in the comic. I think it’s a good close for a prologue. One of the narrators reveals that she has fault and regret. And we’re kept hanging on whether she lives or dies, while finally being introduced to a very menacing Snadhya, who looks like a total bad guy and is about to gain great power. I also never really thought about this, but this ending brings us back to the beginning: Drow slowly taking the place of dark elves.

    Final thoughts

    In general, I think that the prologue must be seen from two different perspectives.

    One is that of old readers who already knew the setting. For them, I think, it must have been quite great.

    The other is that of new readers. In this case, there is a LOT of content to digest, and much isn’t explained, or the explanations are too distant from the happenings (for example, Mikilu explains that the Kyorl are zealots, but that’s too many pages before they actually show up for a new reader to make the connection). In particular, the introduction of so many names will be impossible to follow for a new reader, and it’s hard to know who the heck the Dutanvir are when they are shown right before they charge.
    However, I think it does communicate very well that this is a comic with a huge setting and beautiful art. A character like Sillice is very easy to get, too (loyalty loyalty very proud aaargh betrayers), and, in the beginning, when she is unlikably cocky, she is paired with the more level-headed Kau’shala. Mikilu also is an interesting character, a strong, powerful woman who sees everything around her crumble and, in spite of her power, is deeply shaken by what is happening. Sha’sana is similar, in that she sees change and disturbances, but she also has the advantages of age, perspective, and knowledge, and throws some crumbs of it to the readers to interest them into what’s to come. She also introduces the mystery of swirly eyes.

    A final critique: before p. 12, the discourse often isn’t linear, and instead goes back and forth. When we already have seen current Chel, we are brought back to the birth of the drow. When we have just seen the tainted, we are introduced to the evolved, who sound like the exact same thing as the tainted. There are some other cases like this, and it makes it hard to follow, and makes this introduction longer.

    And a final praise: demons and tainting are established in a very understandable way, in spite of their complexity. They do a lot of things: eat auras, stop golems, eat lights (this is visible with the Sharen subhouse), taint you, turn you into a demon, turn dragons into against you, make you immune to demons... And the list will grow while reading (in Longest Wait, they give access to new spells, while we later learn that they kill people after 50 years and cause a number of health problems on Chrys and Shinae). And tainting has much in common with a zombie plague, which makes it great for a medieval war scenario (I mean, from a reader's perspective).

    In short, high stakes and an interesting story in an overwhelmingly complex and detailed setting, with great character design (those armours! Mikilu! Sillice! Sha'sana!) and art.

    EDIT: I wrote this review under the impression that the Dutanvir already existed in the comic when the Prologue was published, but their name was chosen by readers in a poll just a few months before the cover was posted.
    Last edited by Vinyadan; 2019-07-07 at 05:55 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien, 1955
    I thought Tom Bombadil dreadful — but worse still was the announcer's preliminary remarks that Goldberry was his daughter (!), and that Willowman was an ally of Mordor (!!).

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    Default Re: Drowtales: The Info Dump

    Here is the review of Dutan’vir Path. It's much shorter than the one of the Prologue, and I intend to keep this as a maximum length. I also have decided to always try to state the main themes in the narration.

    Dutan'vir Path

    Dutan’vir Path is considered a side story to the Prologue, although it actually came out two years after the Prologue was completed. In spite of the title, it was also interesting for its portrayal of Nishi, who, until then, had never spoken a line and represented something of a semi-forgotten mystery.

    The cover looks confusing: we have Mikilu in an odd pose on a Dutan’vir-coloured background, with light lines expanding from a point inside a barely visible Dutan’vir symbol. I can’t tell what the background physically is, nor what that pose means. It could maybe have been a defensive pose, but then the right arm wouldn’t be behind the head, so it looks like she just woke up from a very unbalanced position for sleeping. Maybe it’s just meant to be a sad pose.

    Concerning the comic itself, there are two emotively engaging parts, which deal with the story’s main themes: loyalty (the dialogue with Tlurath) and homelessness (the food episode).

    Otherwise, the most interesting elements are related to world-building and life inside the Imperial palace. We get our only look at the Imperial court, and a glimpse of how the Sharen sisters interact among themselves, as well as Val-slave handlings.

    Except for the aforementioned two episodes, I wasn’t very satisfied with the writing. The first pages contain a lot of the Sharen sisters beating around the bush.
    At times, I feel that the text fails to give due weight to the right elements. The first page in particular should have made it clear: “we have lost our home [and our clan]”, rather than “we suffer defeat”, which is too general.
    In page 2, I would have put panel 3 at the beginning. When Mikilu leaves the court in page 5, there was no need for dialogue from the crowd -- someone mockingly hinting at her would have been sufficient.

    Page 8 in particular I find puzzling. It is well written, in that it well explains Mikilu’s feelings: guilt for the loss of her clan, betrayal for being dishonoured and excluded from her office, fear of leaving, and doubts concerning her own role in the past. However, the captioned text should have been shown as thought bubbles across a few pages, greatly increasing the identification with Mikilu. This mental dialogue could have been alternated with a less laconic version of the gradual humiliation of Mikilu shown in page 9, turning the various one-panel episodes in their own scenes.

    The final dialogue with Nishi suffers from a general problem, probably the worst in this short story: the dialogue is really stilted. In an effort to portray the language of Chel’s most aristocratic gathering, the authors ended up creating an unrealistic, vaguely disconnected way of speaking.
    A second problem in this scene is how it compresses together the dialogue and Mikilu deciding to leave, without actually showing her leave the fortress, going instead for two highly symbolic panels as an ending.

    Concerning the art, this issue was the result of the work of three different teams. The first three pages come from the first team; I really like this style, and I believe it’s unique to this story. The lineart is very clean, and the colouring is bright and almost pastel-coloured. Team 2 made pages 4-8. It’s made up by the same people of team 1, plus one person who took over character colouring. This is quite visible in the darker faces of the sisters. There also must have been some confusion, because Snadhya and Sarv lose their red eyes. Team 3 worked on pages 9-16. It is a much more simple drawing style, and the change is very abrupt. However, while it doesn’t have the good looks of the previous part, it still does a good job of conveying events and feelings.

    Overall, it’s a side story, and maybe it’s wrong to ask for too much from it: changes that would have made it better would also have made it longer.
    Quote Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien, 1955
    I thought Tom Bombadil dreadful — but worse still was the announcer's preliminary remarks that Goldberry was his daughter (!), and that Willowman was an ally of Mordor (!!).

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