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  1. - Top - End - #31
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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice: A Sleepless Fortnight

    Quote Originally Posted by Syka View Post
    Supes, I take it Burger Chick wasn't there, though? Either way, blitzed parents are hilarious (when they aren't yours) and kudos for getting the guts to go talk to them.
    Blitzed parent Only the mom!

    And yes, burger chick was there. Found out she has a boyfriend, of all things! (I am totally not surprised, mostly because we had a good laugh about it)

  2. - Top - End - #32
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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice: A Sleepless Fortnight

    Aww. Well, at least that's two good things (giving a pretty, non-single girl a compliment in the form of a date-request and finding another pretty girl) as opposed to a bad thing (rejected). Not that rejection is bad, in and of itself (although it sucks), just that getting flat out turned down was the "worst case scenario".

    Good luck with the redhead.
    Show me how pretty the world is
    'Cause I envy the way that you move
    Show me how pretty the world is
    'Cause I want something a little bit louder
    Show me how pretty the world is
    'Cause you're brilliant when you try
    Show me how pretty the whole world is tonight
    -Matt Nathanson "Pretty the World"

    Various Syka-Foxes done by the wonderful Ceika

  3. - Top - End - #33
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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice: A Sleepless Fortnight

    Quote Originally Posted by Syka View Post
    Aww. Well, at least that's two good things (giving a pretty, non-single girl a compliment in the form of a date-request and finding another pretty girl) as opposed to a bad thing (rejected). Not that rejection is bad, in and of itself (although it sucks), just that getting flat out turned down was the "worst case scenario".
    Yeah, she was awesome about it. Afterwords I was like "That figures, you see, you are so awesome you had to be taken!" and she just laughed it off like the total joke it was.

    Also I'm still going to keep going and having her choose my burgers. This time it was a burger with chipotle mayo, pepper jack, and a big 'ol grilled jalapeno on top. Deeee-licious. Probably in a couple weeks I'll have lunch with another friend there, since I'm trying to spread the word (I firmly believe in spreading the word of good local businesses) of how damn tasty those burgers are.

    Good luck with the redhead.
    Man... I hope to have it. All I know about her is a) she is tremendously gorgeous and b) the first thing I heard her say was an Airplane! reference (don't call me Shirley). And you know what? Since meeting new people and finding more about them is part of the reason I love life, I'm ok with that.

    In other, slightly interesting and complicating news, I now have Meagan's address. I love my friend E. She didn't even question it, just huned it down for me and gave it to me.

    It makes everything I do in the dating front a bit more... complicated... for the next couple of weeks, but it will be very nice to get that letter away.

  4. - Top - End - #34
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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice: A Sleepless Fortnight

    Not to be a pessimist, Supes, but if things fall through with Red and you get all bummed about it, I just want it to be known that if you fail to report so by telling us that you "picked a Hell of a day to quit drinking", I will be sorely disappointed. Jest though I might, good luck!

    Also, yesterday I was talking with A (the old friend/ex), and she related to me that she'd had a dream about me... wherein I'd gotten a new girlfriend, and I wanted her to meet other-her. Turns out the new girlfriend was a vacuous, empty headed, curly haired blonde (in A's own words, she "was pretty much the total opposite of me", where me of course is A). So, A asked me (in the dream), "So, how long have you two been dating?" and my response was "Oh, about a month..." which, in the dream, made her "infuriated or something", because I'd withheld that from her/not told her/whatever. Shortly after that, she woke up feeling upset, and after thinking about the dream, was still upset.

    Now, this whole time she's been trying to play it all off like it was no big deal, even once saying "I mean, I know it was just a dream and all", so, I figured, hey, a joke is definitely in order here. So I, having likewise mentally brushed everything off (meh, it was a dream, and I'm on the fence on dreams), after waiting a perfect three seconds, responded with:

    "...So, I guess this is a bad time to tell you about Raquel, huh?"

    A little context: the entire conversation took place while she was sitting in the Atlanta airport. I've been there, it's huge, it's noisy, there was DEFINITELY noise coming through the phone from her end... which, frankly, made the ABSOLUTE DEAD SILENCE that came through the phone after I dropped my joke all the more stunningly impressive. I honestly thought she'd hung up on me. I let it ride for a couple more seconds, then followed up with:

    "Oooooh... too soon, huh?" Her immediate, succinct reply? "Yeah. Too soon."

    The conversation resumed in its previous casual, friendly fashion... and then after she had to go (they'd started boarding), I had myself a rousing bout of laughing my rear off and relating this story to a good friend of mine, who likewise deeply appreciated the humor in the situation.

    I'unno about you guys, but I think the healing is coming along rather well.
    Amazing Mountain King avatar courtesy of the remarkable Starwoof!

  5. - Top - End - #35
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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice: A Sleepless Fortnight

    Ignoring that it was a recent ex, pretty amusing. My friends and I are well known for doing that sort of thing to each other. Might have been too soon, but sometimes you just can't resist taking the bait.

    (I've done it to Oz a couple times...actually got a good one on him a couple weeks ago...)

    Also, Atlanta Airport terminals confuse the hell out of me. H->A->B->C->D Wth?
    Show me how pretty the world is
    'Cause I envy the way that you move
    Show me how pretty the world is
    'Cause I want something a little bit louder
    Show me how pretty the world is
    'Cause you're brilliant when you try
    Show me how pretty the whole world is tonight
    -Matt Nathanson "Pretty the World"

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  6. - Top - End - #36
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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice: A Sleepless Fortnight

    I honestly don't think it was "too soon" because of anything to do with our relationship. It was, in my opinion, moreso that she'd been upset about the dream, wherein I withheld something that's kind of a big deal from her, and I made a joke that fit the situation perfectly that was kind of at her expense. I'm pretty sure I don't mean much to her anymore, so I don't feel badly about it (if I did, I wouldn't laugh whenever I told the story ).

    But, if it did mean anything (the dream), or whatever, it's in her court, not mine. I did what I could; if that actually means anything to her, it's her job to actually come out and say so, not my job to drag it out of her.
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  7. - Top - End - #37
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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice: A Sleepless Fortnight

    Quote Originally Posted by Syka View Post
    Maeglin, or you can keep your head up, evaluate the warning signs and learn. :) Even if the red flags were different for each one, it's still a learning experience. The last guy I dated apparently missed the "but let each other know if we are getting involved with anyone else" part to "We're not exclusive". My first boyfriend, right before that guy, cheated on me after over 3 years because he couldn't handle the distance anymore with a girl he'd known a week and was now "in love" with. The crush before him treated me like a piece of dirt.

    Current guy? No issues. Part of that I attribute to recognizing warning signs and acting appropriately. I mean..the territory does come with paranoia, but there are still good people out there. It really blows to deal with, though.

    I wish you luck.
    With this last one, I had a gut feeling. Odd thing is, mine are always right. I even told her best friend that I thought she was cheating on me, and with who, and her best friend didn't believe me. Turned out I was right.

    Thing is, I never confronted her about my feeling, because I wanted to trust her. Which, one could technically say was a mistake in this case, but only in hindsight. Trusting her wasn't necessarily the wrong thing to do, it just turned out I was trusting the wrong person.

    Quote Originally Posted by xPANCAKEx View Post
    Maeglin_Dubh

    sometimes you just have a run of bad luck. As syka said - keep an eye out for those warning signs. Without knowing more about each relationship i cant give more indepth advice

    its a case you live/you learn. One thing about growing up is learning to call a relationship off before it gets to the stage of resentment/wanting something else. Or it may just be that you go for a particular type of girl prone to such behavior

    i know after 3 it must be hard not to take it personal, but the next lass you date, if you are concerned things arnt going in a positive direction then swing by and im sure we will all be willing to help you as and when we can
    Well, a few more than three. I've dated four, and had a couple others do their level best to try and screw with my head, including one who threatened suicide if I didn't leave the girl I was dating for her.

    It's actually a running joke in my family that I attract crazy people. If it weren't apparently true, it would be funnier.
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  8. - Top - End - #38
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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice: A Sleepless Fortnight

    Quote Originally Posted by Maeglin_Dubh View Post
    It's actually a running joke in my family that I attract crazy people. If it weren't apparently true, it would be funnier.
    I have a friend with almost the same problem, except when she starts dating them, they're sane, and then they seem to GO crazy.

    So it could be worse. You could drive people insane instead of just finding them that way.
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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice: A Sleepless Fortnight

    Quote Originally Posted by MountainKing View Post
    Not to be a pessimist, Supes, but if things fall through with Red and you get all bummed about it, I just want it to be known that if you fail to report so by telling us that you "picked a Hell of a day to quit drinking", I will be sorely disappointed. Jest though I might, good luck!
    When was the last time a girl saw a guy at a bar and then later connected with him on Facebook?

    I *am* going to be pessimistic here: I met a smoking hotty, I chatted her and her parents up with that "confidant" thing you all keep telling me works so well, and at the first opportunity tried to reconnect with her. I'd still give it 100:1 odds I never see or hear from her again.

    So in that regard, I picked a helluva day to stop sniffing glue

  10. - Top - End - #40
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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice: A Sleepless Fortnight

    Quote Originally Posted by Maeglin_Dubh View Post
    Well, a few more than three. I've dated four, and had a couple others do their level best to try and screw with my head, including one who threatened suicide if I didn't leave the girl I was dating for her.

    It's actually a running joke in my family that I attract crazy people. If it weren't apparently true, it would be funnier.
    for the sake of your own emotional well being, the minute someone plays the crazy card, you cut them off.
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    xPANCAKEx - He's a scumbag, but he's a wise scumbag.

  11. - Top - End - #41
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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice: A Sleepless Fortnight

    Quote Originally Posted by Superglucose View Post
    When was the last time a girl saw a guy at a bar and then later connected with him on Facebook?

    I *am* going to be pessimistic here: I met a smoking hotty, I chatted her and her parents up with that "confidant" thing you all keep telling me works so well, and at the first opportunity tried to reconnect with her. I'd still give it 100:1 odds I never see or hear from her again.

    So in that regard, I picked a helluva day to stop sniffing glue
    Aww, that's another quality one. Very nice. All the same, good luck!
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  12. - Top - End - #42
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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice: A Sleepless Fortnight

    Quote Originally Posted by xPANCAKEx View Post
    and a further point - if you see an item of clothing on someone that you really like dont be afraid to ask "hey, those are nice ***** where did you get them?" - people will appreciate the compliment and usually be pretty helpful (such as telling you when they bought it, so you'll know if its going to be out of season)
    I do this. Funny story about that...

    I was walking through Disney World with my ex-girlfriend in the last days of May of 09, and it was almost Gay Days (first couple days of June), so we figured we might see some guys doing their thang, right? And her best friend (very gay) had asked us to get him a souvenir. So we're looking, looking, looking, and I see a guy wearing a massive purple velour hat with a leopard-print band. And I walk up to him, and I say "Dude, I love your hat, where'd you get it?"
    Him:"Hahaha, I got it in Knoxville, Tennessee."
    Me:"NO SH**! I'M from Knoxville, Tennessee!"
    Him:"haha, yeah right." and he walks off.
    So I went after him, and
    Me: "No, seriously, I'm really from Knoxville. Where'd you get that damned hat?!"
    Him: "Oh, seriously? Uh... World Grotto, like 4 years ago."
    Me: "That store is awesome, thank you for finally believing me." (I added "jerk" in my mind)
    I am continuing to have a social life. Sorry for the inconvenience.
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  13. - Top - End - #43
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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice: A Sleepless Fortnight

    Quote Originally Posted by xPANCAKEx View Post
    for the sake of your own emotional well being, the minute someone plays the crazy card, you cut them off.
    Yeah, this. I don't particularly feel like waiting for someone's schizophrenia to finally lead to them attacking me or becoming a useless wretch entirely.
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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice: A Sleepless Fortnight

    Quote Originally Posted by xPANCAKEx View Post
    for the sake of your own emotional well being, the minute someone plays the crazy card, you cut them off.
    And if cutting them off doesn't help, file for an anti-harrasment order. They are a bit of a pain to get, but worth every hour sitting in the courthouse waiting for your paperwork to get filed.

    Trust me!
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  15. - Top - End - #45
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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice: A Sleepless Fortnight

    responding to the crazy card only feeds someones desire for attention - dont get drawn into the trap, regardless of whatever self-harm they threaten. Its not your job to play councillor.

    might be a bit cold and heartless, but rising above the guilt trips is a better way forward
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    Quote Originally Posted by loopy View Post
    xPANCAKEx - He's a scumbag, but he's a wise scumbag.

  16. - Top - End - #46
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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice: A Sleepless Fortnight

    Maeglin -- how are you meeting these girls? What draws you to them? Aside from the obvious craziness and infidelity, what all do they have in common? Your experiences could very well be nothing more than a string of bad luck like everyone else is saying, but I just can't help but wonder if there's some pattern here that bears identifying.



    Offhand, I have an old textbook here with a few guidelines for avoiding affairs. It's not terribly comprehensive, but I might copy it over into RWA some time...
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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice: A Sleepless Fortnight

    Quote Originally Posted by Pheehelm View Post
    Maeglin -- how are you meeting these girls? What draws you to them? Aside from the obvious craziness and infidelity, what all do they have in common? Your experiences could very well be nothing more than a string of bad luck like everyone else is saying, but I just can't help but wonder if there's some pattern here that bears identifying.



    Offhand, I have an old textbook here with a few guidelines for avoiding affairs. It's not terribly comprehensive, but I might copy it over into RWA some time...
    First one I met at the end of summer at camp one year. I had worked there, and when I left she was showing up with another group. She got my email from one of the other workers, got in touch with me, and we wound up dating for about three months. She left me for a guy at school.

    Second one I also met at camp, and then she started going to my school. We started going out, she revealed that she used to do marijuana, but gave it up when we started dating. We stopped dating for the summer, so I wouldn't get fired, she goes and kisses another guy at the mall (we weren't technically dating, so not necessarily a big deal) and then when summer was over, started slipping back into the marijuana and saying that if I didn't start dating her again, she'd go right back to it. I declined.

    Third one I met at a birthday party. We started dating shortly before I went to college, and we dated for about 18 months. She broke up with me over IM, and was dating the guy who recommended she do it within a month.

    Last one I met at a Dagorhir event, and I offered to teach her archery. This went on for a while, and the first time she kissed me at an event, I specifically told her not to do it again. I was her teacher, and we would leave it at that. Five months later, we shared a couch at an event, and that pretty well shot the student/teacher relationship. Seven months later, she starts cheating on me, on her birthday, the day after I spent about four hours driving (both ways, with some extra for a trip out to a waterfall) to visit her.


    No real discernable pattern, that I'm aware of, except that all the girls I've dated are girls who pursued me, and all the girls I've pursued haven't dated me.
    -\==/-
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  18. - Top - End - #48
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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice: A Sleepless Fortnight

    Ok...got the ribs slathered in BBQ and foiled up in the fridge. When I get home from work tomorrow, I can pop them right in the oven so they'll be ready to broil when she shows up at my place. I also spent half of the night cleaning my apartment. I picked up a 4-pack of guiness so we can compare that with the one my buddy brought over from Ireland, since she really likes guiness. I also got 2 different bottles of red wine (a Cab and a Pinot Noir), in case she wants some with the ribs. I also have salad ready to go, and everything for us to make Kaiserschmarrn together for dessert, complete with cinnamon applesause.

    I'm so ready for this date! Woooohoooo!!!!!
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  19. - Top - End - #49
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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice: A Sleepless Fortnight

    Just a quick question, how reasonable is it to suspect that something's going on between two people where them having some sort of relationship would incite, nay, demand a soap opera-esque twist ending?

    Just because one of my friends (we'll call her 'Snakebite') has taken a new job on the recommendation of another friend (called 'Jacket') and since then the two have been very close. This includes some common signs of flirting, such as excessive playful touching of each other, taking each others things, playfighting a lot, etc.

    At the same time, I noticed the other day that she was wearing his Hammer of Thor pendant that he got overseas and loves dearly. She got really defensive when I pointed it out.

    It's entirely likely that I'm just paranoid, so I come to the fine denizens of this thread once more - is it possible that I'm not entirely crazy?

    Oh p.s. - my own relationship couldn't be better
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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice: A Sleepless Fortnight

    Sounds like he's hot for teacher, alright. Or, she's a rabid kleptomaniac. I'll leave that one up to you.
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  21. - Top - End - #51
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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice: A Sleepless Fortnight

    Since you guys enjoy staying informed, I thought you would appreciate an update.

    My girlfriend has gotten a lot closer to a school related job, at a place that seems to really suit her. She will have a test day this Friday and then if everybody is happy she will get the job.

    I have to say the mood she is in now does do me a lot of good as well. I guess it proves how hard it can be when both sides of a relationship are down for a while at the same time. And how much it helps if one of them is not.

    I even went as far to go shoe shopping with her, go figure.
    In any case, for now everything is good, I just hope she does indeed get the job and doesn't get turned down Friday.
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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice: A Sleepless Fortnight

    Klose_the_Sith

    just tease them about it (seperately, not when they're together) and the truth will eventually come out

    sounds like something is going on, but i guess you never can tell

    Maeglin_Dubh

    next girl you date, ask your mutual friends about them first before taking it too far. That may sound a tad over-the-top but, given your run of bad luck, you could be justified in saying "anything i need to worry about - after my previous run of luck with girls im worried the next one will be an axe murderer or something" - some humour to defuse the situation and get the "yeah shes fine/no, steer clear" you'll need

    edit: only ask one or two mutual friends. If you ask everyone that may know something then it will look like you're damaged goods and afraid to try without knowing everything (and those type of people just arnt fun to date)
    Last edited by xPANCAKEx; 2010-07-21 at 09:49 AM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by loopy View Post
    xPANCAKEx - He's a scumbag, but he's a wise scumbag.

  23. - Top - End - #53
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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice: A Sleepless Fortnight

    Quote Originally Posted by xPANCAKEx View Post
    Klose_the_Sith

    just tease them about it (seperately, not when they're together) and the truth will eventually come out
    I dunno... That could cause them to get embarassed and clamp down. Not sure what the alternative would be.

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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice: A Sleepless Fortnight

    Klose, I guess I don't know why you care?

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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice: A Sleepless Fortnight

    Okay guys, remember that girl I mentioned earlier? The one who I was going to a club with? I just been told that she has been asking a couple of mutual friends a load of questions about me. This is most likely a good thing. Unfortunatly I can't go to a party of one of these mutual friends on Monday because my one week of work starts on the Monday and I would have to be there for 9:30 on Tuesday morning. Yay for children's summer schemes..... This information has come from an incredibly pessimistic, cynical, sarcastic and nihilistic friend who is also one of the most trustworthy people I know. So I'm getting some good feelings from this.

    TL/DR: THINGS ARE GETTING GOOD.

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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice: A Sleepless Fortnight

    Quote Originally Posted by Superglucose View Post
    Klose, I guess I don't know why you care?
    Cause like I said, it'd be a soap opera-esque revelation, as he's already with one of my friends and she's friends with said significant other.

    Although mostly it's curiosity. I noticed something and wondered about it, then it just started niggling at me whenever I saw one of them. Curiosity might seem like a weak justification, but weak justifications are all I have. Klose has little to no self control, especially when he's curious.
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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice: A Sleepless Fortnight

    Quote Originally Posted by Klose_the_Sith View Post
    It's entirely likely that I'm just paranoid, so I come to the fine denizens of this thread once more - is it possible that I'm not entirely crazy?
    It is not only possible, but probable by the sounds of it. If I saw what you're describing, I'd definitely think there was something going on. It's a shame that there's another relationship involved.

    Depending on how well I know everyone involved, I might be inclined to talk to Guy and say something like "I don't know what's going on between you and NotGF, and I don't want to know. But I can tell you it looks like something going on, and if you care at all about CurrentGF, you may want to address that before doing something you'll come to regret later. All I'm gonna say about it. *shoulder slap* Want a beer while I'm going to get one for me?"
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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice: A Sleepless Fortnight

    Quote Originally Posted by Klose_the_Sith View Post
    Cause like I said, it'd be a soap opera-esque revelation, as he's already with one of my friends and she's friends with said significant other.

    Although mostly it's curiosity. I noticed something and wondered about it, then it just started niggling at me whenever I saw one of them. Curiosity might seem like a weak justification, but weak justifications are all I have. Klose has little to no self control, especially when he's curious.
    Yeah see, this is going to explode. Explosions cause collateral damage. You don't want to be part of the collateral, so my advice, and yes, my advice, unsolicited, is to stay away. Hell, when it happens and people are like "So did you hear?..." you should be like, "No way, really?!"

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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice: A Sleepless Fortnight

    Quote Originally Posted by xPANCAKEx View Post
    Klose_the_Sith
    Maeglin_Dubh

    next girl you date, ask your mutual friends about them first before taking it too far. That may sound a tad over-the-top but, given your run of bad luck, you could be justified in saying "anything i need to worry about - after my previous run of luck with girls im worried the next one will be an axe murderer or something" - some humour to defuse the situation and get the "yeah shes fine/no, steer clear" you'll need

    edit: only ask one or two mutual friends. If you ask everyone that may know something then it will look like you're damaged goods and afraid to try without knowing everything (and those type of people just arnt fun to date)
    Tried that Fall semester. The friends thought things would be fine. And then I got the God Card played on me. (The one that reads "Play on any interested individual in response to a request for a date of any sort. Negate that request. As an additional cost to play this card, use religious language in your refusal to obfuscate your true issues.)

    So that hasn't even worked out.
    -\==/-
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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice: A Sleepless Fortnight

    Holy crap....

    If a date could go completely 100% perfect, this one just did. She came over, showed up early, and we sat and chatted a ton while the ribs continued to bake in the oven. We sampled the irish guiness, and the american guiness, and I must say, I personally think it tastes different. Irish guiness was smoother, but more mild. American guiness was more bitter. Still, it was fun to be all beer-snobby about it with her and talk about all the tastes and whatnot. Then dinner almost finished, so we made a salad quick and ate that while the ribs broiled. That finished quick and I pulled the ribs out and put them on a nice serving tray while we finished our salads and I opened a bottle of Pinot Noir. The ribs were DELICIOUS, and so tender you could pull it off the bone with a fork. We devoured most of it, but I still ended up with some leftover to take to work tomorrow for lunch. Then we made Kaiserschmarrn with applesause, something she had never ever had before. It was kinda fun to make it together, and we even had to work together to figure out how much 200 mL is in american cups, since the packaging is all written in german. After we got it made and divided up and slathered in applesause, she started asking about the Dominion game I had sitting on the floor in my living room. I told her it was easy to learn and a ton of fun, if she wanted to learn, so we sat and ate Kaiserschmarrn while I tought her how to play. It was a blast. She caught on quickly, and even beat me the first game. The second I completely kicked her butt, like, 45 to 8. The third, now that she had the hang of the game, ended up really close. I could have ended it with a tie, but I had enough extra money and buys to beat her by 1 single point. It was ok, though, since I got my victory kiss.

    It was pretty much perfect. Everything went amazingly. I'm seeing her again on Friday for a big bonfire with a big group of our friends, which should be fun, I'm helping her move on Monday or Tuesday, and we have plans to go hiking on Mt. Catherine the Sunday after this one with friends. I'm totally geeked about this girl, and she seems totally geeked about me. The last girl I was with, I felt a lot of bad feelings between us because she wasn't very smart and often asked me lots of dumb questions over and over again, refusing to think for herself. This girl is amazingly smart, beautiful, has a great job and a great education, is actually my own age (I've been dating mostly older girls lately...they are at different stages in life!), is beautiful, and smiles a lot.

    SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Last edited by Keld Denar; 2010-07-22 at 01:14 AM.
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