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Thread: D&D Snippets

  1. - Top - End - #361
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    Healing Atop the towers.
    Really fun story! It's amazing how well jumping out of buildings works sometimes, isn't it?

    Quote Originally Posted by big teej View Post
    Vaul Krieger’s Origin
    You've really outdone yourself on this one teej!

    You conveyed an excellent sense of chaos and scope in the battle sequence in the beginning, and I just loved all of the images that scene conjured! The middle part, with his resurrection, was a little confusing to read, but it paralleled Krieger's reaction and it set a very strong mood for the rest of the passage, which I found very impressive.

    As for Krieger, he's just incredible. I love his grim demeanor, and his new mission in life (or undeath as it is) definitely promises to be full of action, intrigue, and drama. But my favorite aspect of Krieger has to be his dry sense of humor. It just sneaks up on the reader and creates an excellent contrast to the dark tone of the story, but I never found it distracting in the slightest.

    Fantastic work man. This is one of my favorites.


    As for myself, I've been struggling. I have lots of ideas about what to write about, but none of my stories have been flowing. So instead, I started writing random facts about my characters that would be kind of pointless to put into real snippets. They sort of help to give me inspiration, and I figured you guys might be interested in seeing them, even though they aren't really stories.

    Random Facts: Varen
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    Varen’s birthday is March 31st

    At the end of his campaign, Varen was 22 years old

    At the end of his campaign, Varen was a Paladin 6/Crusader 16/Warblade 2.

    Varen’s Constitution score, minus magical enhancements, is a whopping 24

    Varen was the only character I ever played who had two 18s rolled during stat generation

    Varen does not worship any specific god or pantheon.

    Varen can’t summon a warhorse and he can’t cast spells.

    According to my DM, Varen has 371 scars. I don't what's more ridiculous, the sheer number of scars, or the fact that my DM kept track of them.

    Varen is 5’ 8” (1.725 meters) and 135 lbs (61.23 kg). So he's fairly short and quite slender.

    Varen was sent to live in the monastery when he was three years old

    At the time of his creation, 'Varen' was just a made up name. Interestingly, ‘Varen’ just happens to also mean ‘gifts’ in Sanskrit, and 'Safe' in Slovene. They're not pronounced the same, though.

    Varen's hair is quite long by male standards. He wears it in a ponytail so that it doesn't get in his face when he fights.



    Random Facts: Natalia
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    Natalia’s birthday is December 21st

    At the end of her campaign, Natalia was 23 years old

    At the end of her campaign, Natalia was an Ex-Paladin 1/Fighter 2/Barbarian 1/Warblade 20

    Natalia has had more alignment changes during her career than any other character I have played, with a total of 6. Started at LG. Became LN.
    Became N. Became NE. Became N again. Finally became NG by the end of the campaign. To be fair, half of these changes occurred while she was still an NPC.

    Natalia is left-handed

    Natalia is 5’ 4” (1.624 meters) and weighs 117 lbs (53.07 kg)

    Natalia’s favorite animal is the lion.


    Random Facts: Abigail
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    Abigail’s birthday is April 17th

    Abigail is currently 18.

    Abigail’s Witch class is a homebrew class adapted from the DMG’s Witch variant Sorcerer.

    Abigail has never actually met her parents. Or at least she doesn’t know them personally.

    Abigail is 5’2” (1.575 meters) and 101 lbs (45.81 kg). She's tiny!

    Abigail has brown hair and brown eyes

    Abigail does not have a familiar.

    Abigail's lucky number is 7

    Abigail's middle name is Eleanor


    Random Facts: Tavor
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    Tavor’s birthday is June 4th

    Tavor is currently 32

    Tavor is currently a Fighter 2/Swordsage 4

    Tavor is bald

    Tavor has his ears pierced

    Tavor is 6’4” (1.93 meters) and 186 lbs (84.37 kg)

    Tavor is ambidextrous, with dominancy varying depending on activity. For example, he writes right-dominant, but fights left-dominant.

    If real world ethnicities were to be applied (at least in terms of appearance), Tavor would be Israeli.

    Tavor is my only character with an intentionally meaningful name. Tavor means “misfortune, broken” in Hebrew. Foreshadowing perhaps...?

  2. - Top - End - #362
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    Default Re: D&D Snippets

    Quote Originally Posted by big teej View Post


    due to real life events (and weather) and the fact that Gideon's next snippet is a biggun (covering the whole 4 hour session) it's not quite finished yet.

    and may have to undergo editing before being posted.

    in the interim, as penance, I give you Vaul Krieger's origin....

    (as I'm mostly sure I didn't post that before)
    This is familiar - have you sent this to me before? I know I've read it, but it sounds a little different.

    Either way, I loved it. You got the tone of his voice really well, I could just feel his horror when he realised what had happened and he just has this wonderful sense of implacable resolve. You can just tell that whoever did this to him is going to regret it. A lot.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    *lots of jumping*
    Heehee, that is a neat story

    Oooh and little tidbits I approve of random pieces of information - and yeah, it's a little odd that your DM kept count of Varen's scars... and that's a very nice constitution, he's about as badass as O'Chul


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  3. - Top - End - #363
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    Default Re: D&D Snippets

    Decision time: Do you want to read Innocence Lost, The Lady Valorous or The Host of a Thousand Princes?


    Quote Originally Posted by Chilingsworth View Post
    Wow! Not only was that awesome, I think I actually kinda understand Archeron now. If all the "intermediate" outer planes got that kind of treatment, I doubt there would be anywhere near as many critics of their utility.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord_Gareth View Post
    Decision time: Do you want to read Innocence Lost, The Lady Valorous or The Host of a Thousand Princes?
    All of them but if I have to pick one, I pick The Host of a Thousand Princes


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  5. - Top - End - #365
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady Moreta View Post
    All of them but if I have to pick one, I pick The Host of a Thousand Princes
    Any other votes?


    Quote Originally Posted by Chilingsworth View Post
    Wow! Not only was that awesome, I think I actually kinda understand Archeron now. If all the "intermediate" outer planes got that kind of treatment, I doubt there would be anywhere near as many critics of their utility.
    My extended homebrew sig

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord_Gareth View Post
    Any other votes?
    I could vote again? I have lots of votes right?

    I just counted all the snippets I currently have going - four... why can't I ever get anything finished? And we had an awesome session yesterday that just cries out to be written - two of us hit negatives, two of us were at the point of 'one more hit and I'm dead' and the npc paladin very nearly died save the 1 in 400 chance that ended up saving him (three attacks, three rolls - two natural ones!)


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  7. - Top - End - #367
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    Default Re: D&D Snippets

    given the potential warhammer references.

    I'm going to go with the thousand whatsit.



    *teej has just awoken, this post may or may not be edited when he is actually awake.
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    big teej, you are the GitP forum with legs.
    Quote Originally Posted by McSmack View Post
    Or if you're feeling saucy you can remind him that it's not a democracy, it's a Teej-tatorship, and he'd best remember that.
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    Default Re: D&D Snippets

    Which snippet shall I finish first?

    The one about Silver*
    The other one about Silver
    The one about Terryn, or,
    The one about Lyra

    ???

    *This one is further towards completion than any others at this moment and will probably be finished first regardless. What snippet shall I finish first next?
    Last edited by Lady Moreta; 2011-03-09 at 02:58 AM.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord_Gareth View Post
    Decision time: Do you want to read Innocence Lost, The Lady Valorous or The Host of a Thousand Princes?

    While all of them sound great, I'm a huge fan of anything having to do with lost innocence. So I'll put my vote down for that one.


    Quote Originally Posted by Lady Moreta View Post
    Which snippet shall I finish first?

    The one about Silver*
    The other one about Silver
    The one about Terryn, or,
    The one about Lyra

    ???

    *This one is further towards completion than any others at this moment and will probably be finished first regardless. What snippet shall I finish first next?
    It's been a while since I've read anything about Lyra, and since she's one of my favorite characters to read about, I can't really turn a chance to see one of her snippets down.

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    Well, I finished the first Silver one... but the playground was non-fuctional all weekend at home so I couldn't post it. And then my email system died and I could send it to myself to post from work. So I'm afraid it'll have to wait


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    sooo.... I WAS going to write some over spring break....

    but I was too busy doing no thinking at all
    my awesome knight riding a bulette avatar was made by smuchmuch
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    Quote Originally Posted by Occasional Sage View Post
    big teej, you are the GitP forum with legs.
    Quote Originally Posted by McSmack View Post
    Or if you're feeling saucy you can remind him that it's not a democracy, it's a Teej-tatorship, and he'd best remember that.
    Quote Originally Posted by IthroZada View Post
    I imagine Cenobites to be what you get when you mash together the Book of Erotic Fantasy and the Book of Vile Darkness.

    if I've gone quiet in a pbp we share, PM ME! this means I'm not getting updates!

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    How I killed two party members by inventing the dirigible.

    So I'm like playing Lelk, same character I posted about last time, and basically he is this prince person defending a town from this usurper guy and his army, all I got to prepare my defense with is a bunch of wizards, no warrior type people at all. Sicne I'm playing the prince I have to come up with the defenses- most of these were reasonable things like catapults and dropping rocks from the wall and digging ditches and putting sharpened pieces of wood in them.
    But to my way of thinkig, it just wasn't enough so I'm like still thinking of ways to defend the town, while the others are like training the militia.
    So suddenly I have this idea and ask:
    Me: "Hey do we have any canvas?"
    DM: "Yes we have some..."
    "Cool can we make some....watchmacallit....trapeze....flying things..."
    other Player: "Hang Glider?'
    Me: "Yea a hang glider so that I can get on it and fly down to the enemy commander and attack him?"
    Player 2: "No wait, how about making a dirigible from the canvas?"
    me: "Yea dirigible! Lets make a dirigible so that we can bomb the enemy!"
    DM: "roll for the wizards to accept the idea and a second role to build it."
    Me, I roll and....two 20's
    Now see my DM just decides to roll a d100 whenever he is not sure of the outcome and guess what. He rolled the d100 twice and....95 and 97.
    My DM is facepalming my now and going "oh god."
    The result was, was that wizards I commanded thought it was like the best idea ever then built a dirigible without any problems whatsoever, on a 1 in 4 million chance.
    Then I proceeded to get in my party of course follows, we fly over the enemy camp and they are like "What is THAT!?" since they never saw a dirigible before and think its some kind of UFO.
    Then of course I start bombing. Problem was that only two bombs were made, so I like threw out the two bombs then accidentally threw the third "Bomb"- the party's fighter, who took a lot of damage and died
    Of course the dirigible bombing causes the enemy to attack the town immediately, I fly back to the town and command the people to defend, and on my roll I get another 20, thus perfectly defending the town.

    But next session the party's wizard who had gone to the other side being a spy who had been absent the session I invented the dirigible, had been revealed to be have been killed in one of the bombs I dropped on the enemy camp because of a bad 1d100 roll. Thats how I killed two party members by inventing the dirigible, in a medieval town with a team of npc wizards.
    Monkey Playwright of the Improbability Drive Fan Club, Regardless, orcs should be people.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    *snip
    That's... quite a story...

    I have to ask though - How did you accidentally throw the fighter out of the dirigible? Did the player not protest at all or try to stop you?


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    Looks like The Host of a Thousand Princes has won. Expect a visit from the Marshal of the Invisible soon
    Last edited by Lord_Gareth; 2011-03-14 at 12:07 AM.


    Quote Originally Posted by Chilingsworth View Post
    Wow! Not only was that awesome, I think I actually kinda understand Archeron now. If all the "intermediate" outer planes got that kind of treatment, I doubt there would be anywhere near as many critics of their utility.
    My extended homebrew sig

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    A Gideon snippet I promised.

    and a Gideon snippet you shall have!

    "to rescue a prince" (or "to scare a party member")
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    Gideon Snippet II

    “Well…. This has been a busy day” I think to myself as my companions and I trudge away from the abandoned manor house.

    We’d arrived at the city of Andor
    We’d discovered that the dwarven population is in uproar over new policies initiated by the king. In fact, riots were still un-quelled upon our arrival.
    The head treasurer, the prince, and his companion all went missing.

    Guess who got to find them?

    Well, thankfully, we did. An encounter that involved the slaying of some sort of semi-sentient goop, as well as several humans magically disguised as dwarves.

    And the man in the mask.

    The mere thought of that iron visage is enough to rouse my ire. I feel my face flush and unconsciously grip the haft of my axe tighter. He escaped me again. Marshaling my thoughts away from this, I look up and around us, wary of further attack.

    There are those who would see our charges dead.

    As I scan the area I do a double take. A few score yards ahead of us, at the edge of the swamp, are two huge…. Things.

    They appear to be giant fat blue caterpillars. A rock sails past me and connects with the Half-Orc’s skull.

    Giant fat blue /angry/ caterpillars.

    I clap down my visor and prepare for battle.

    My compatriots surge forth to do combat, much quicker than I –weighed down by my armor as I am-

    Trig, the gnome Alchemist, lobs a flask filled with an orange substance at one of the slug/worms it shatters against its hide and begins to burn. It growls in pain but advances undeterred.

    I’ll just have to fix that.

    I step forward and raise my arms to the sky, altering my voice into one that echoes across battlefields, heard over the sound of metal crunching bone and metal sharpening metal. “Halt, and surrender yourselves! And ye shall not be harmed, surrender ye not, and you’re lives be forfeit! For I am Gideon! Knight of The Hammer!”

    A rock clunks off my shield.

    Well, so much for that.

    I turn and level my axe towards the slug/worm on my right. I announce to my compatriots “this one is mine. Deal with the other one.”
    I feel a rush of power so great it almost makes me giddy. This rush, while familiar, never grows old. It is the rush of energy I get for putting my reputation and honor on the line. This creature will fall by my hand.

    As my compatriots scramble out of my way to deal with the 2nd slug/worm, the prince stops as he passes me “do you need help with this?” he asks.
    ‘Obviously too young to recognize a knight at work. This boy is in need of an education’

    “I have the situation well in hand” I inform him as I advance upon the slug, who has equipped itself with a spear and a dagger.

    I lose track of my companions, my world begins to shrink, and nothing exists except me, the slug/worm, and this fight. Time speeds up and at the same time becomes slower than molasses. I feel the strength flood my limbs at the thought of slaying this creature on my own. I thrill with the delight of battle!

    I swing my axe at the slug, opening up a gash in its chest that oozes forth a green ichor. In response to my blow, the worm hammers away at my defenses with spear and dagger, eventually burying his spear in my side.

    He’ll have to do better than that.

    Back and forth the slug/worm and I trade blows, I open up another 3 cuts along its chest and body with my axe, he works his dagger through my armor, I can tell it’s a telling blow from the amount of blood leaking out of my armor, but that does not matter! I will see this thing dead!

    When suddenly, hurtling into my world again, is Ugh, the Half-Orc barbarian our little band picked up in a village en route to andor. Ugh is foaming at the mouth and smites the worm with his Double bladed axe. Just as Ugh enters the fray, I see sikes the cleric wade in from the creature’s right, stabbing it in the side and slaying it.

    Well….
    That was anti-climatic.


    The rest of our journey back to the city is rather uneventful, returning the prince and his compatriots without further ruckus.

    To show his gratitude for returning the heir (mostly) unharmed (physically at least, his ego took a rather consistent beat down the whole trip back.) he has offered to pay for our lodgings in one of the finest inns in the city.

    Having spent the day in matters of daring do, we retire to our rooms for the night.

    The next morning however; we find two wonderful little gifts left for us by some unknown person. A severed head (fresh thankfully) and a note that was short and to the point.

    LEAVE
    NOW

    Well I can’t stand for that now can I? Knowing the orchestrator’s of this conspiracy likely have magical eyes upon us. (I neglected to inquire about the Inn’s security measures, which I shall do post-haste) I grab a nearby quill and scribble on the note.

    “What are you doing?” Trig asks me.

    “Informing our enemies of my opinion of the matter, it seems polite to inform them of these things.” I reply

    I set the quill to the paper and write an equally simple message for our unseen observers.


    “Stuff it.”




    on a completely unrelated note, I looked back over some other things I've done, and I've learned something...

    "writing for myself is great, chronicling as a DM is not"

    for example, everything I've posted so far (except for the death of Valek) has been me recording events as a player, and how my character interacts with them.
    this here (spoilered below) is me tryin to do the same thing as a DM for the whole party.

    and I think it's crap
    but I find the contrast intriguing... and I need to learn how to write this better.

    so in the hope that I didn't post this back at the begining of the thread and forget about it, for contrast purposes, I give you "adventure 1, rescue the Unicorn"

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    Adventure one: rescue the Unicorn!

    A friendly unicorn named Alabern lives in the woods surrounding the party’s town. With a touch of its horn, Alabern heals wounded people who come to it for help. Now a woodcutter has come to town with terrible news. a band of goblins have captured the unicorn and carried him off!
    Several individuals from the village have volunteered for this task, their mission is clear. They must find these creatures and rescue Alabern!

    The following people have volunteered for this task;

    Constain

    Bartholomew

    Kaye

    John

    Leuesse`

    Tarik

    The party has worked its way through the woods until they come to a clearing next to a cliff face, there is a door set into the face of the cliff. Extending out over the door is a shoddily put together awning. Under the awning are 5 sleeping goblins, around a perimeter surrounding the sleeping goblins are 5 more goblins. Since no one would dare the haunted woods, or come against such numbers, they are at ease, dozing off, and not really paying attention. … unfortunately for them, our intrepid heros have come to destroy them.

    Bartolomew notices that none of the goblin sentries have a line of sight on each other, and are spaced very far apart. He suggests that the party move to the extreme left edge of the perimieter and pick off the sentries one by one before taking on the main group.

    The group moves into position to ambush the first sentry. Bartolomew strings an arrow across his long bow as Leuesse readies a stone in her sling. Bartolomew gives the command “fire” and looses his arrow as Leuesse hurls her stone at the goblin. Bartolomew’s arrow takes the goblin through the throat, felling it instantly, whilst Luesses projectile flies through the air formerly occupied by the goblin’s head.

    Moving quickly and quietly, (and impatiently by tarik, who is eager to get to grips with the grobi) the party moves to the next sentry, who is again quickly dispatched by an arrow from Bartholomew, who gets his shot off before Leuesse can release her bullet. The party then moves to the 3rd sentry, Bartholomew racks up another kill, catching the unsuspecting goblin in the eye with an arrow, unfortunately, Leuesse’s sling snaps as she releases her stone, sending it careening off into the bush. The damage is irrepairable at the moment, but should be easily fixed back in town.

    The party takes down the remaining two sentries in a similar fashion, at this point, Tarik’s axe is getting thisrty, and Tarik wishes to test its edge in the goblin’s flesh. The party advance to the edge of the clearing, still taking cover within the trees and undergrowth. Tarik, John, and Constain charge ahead of the group at the sleeping goblins, while Bartholomew looses an arrow into the sleeping group, Leuesse also advances, but far more slowly than the others, kaye also draws her longbow and takes aim, but doesn’t fire yet, taking care not to hit one of her fellows.

    As Tarik, john and constain charge valiantly into battle, John is so focused on his foe and his impending doom that he fails to notice a stone sticking out of the ground… tripping on it and landing prone at his opponents feet! Constain reaches his chosen enemy and takes a mighty swing! Unfortunately, the goblin ducks under the blade and swipes at constain with it’s Morningstar. Tarik has much better luck, taking his enemy in the chest with his axe, taking him to the ground. 2 of the remaining goblins advance on tarik, their hatred of all stunties clear in their eyes. While the third one advances to brain John while he lies dazed upon the ground.

    Seeing that this will be her only chance at a clear shot, kaye looses her arrow at the goblin advancing on John, missing, but delaying it slightly. Bartholomew sees that with all of his friends engaged in melee combat, he can’t risk firing any more arrows, he draws his shortsword and advances on the goblin preparing to brain John…

    The goblin brings its Morningstar down in a lethal arc, but John manages to roll out of the way, taking only a glancing blow across the back. Constain and tarik continue to trade blows with their respective enemies, neither side able to gain an advantage and land a blow. Meanwhile, Leuesse, Kaye, and Bartholomew come to John’s aid; Kaye, distracting the goblin by attempting to stab it in the back, misses, the goblin’s return blow is a punishing strike across the chest, throwing Kaye to the ground and into oblivion. Filled with rage over her fallen comrade, Leuesse takes a wild swing at the goblin, but in her rage fails to connect. John, still dazed from his sudden meeting with the earth, also misses, however, their blows distract the goblin enough for Bartholomew to get in a killing blow, running the goblin through with his shortsword. As they go to Kaye’s aid Constain and Tarik finally manage to fell their opponents in a rapid exchange of blows.

    The companions trickle both of Kaye’s health potion’s down her throat, helping her to regain consciousness, but still the worse for wear. Constain volunteers one of his potions to help get her back on her feet. The party searches the bodies and finds a combined total of 42 gold coins amongst the dead. “who have these creatures been raiding” the party wonders. The party turns to the door, now completely undefended, and advances.

    Tarik and kaye/john both listen closely to the door and hear goblins talkin on the other side of the door, but are unable to deterimine how many there are. The dwarf prepares to kick down the door, while Bartholomew prepares to launch an arrow into the room after him. Tarik lifts his leg and kicks the door. The door shudders in its frame and makes a booming noise like unto a drum of doom, but is otherwise unharmed. Incensed, Tarik raises his foot again and kicks the door with all his might, throwing the door down onto the floor within the cave! Bartholomew looses his arrow into the confines of the room, striking down yet another goblin in the process. John dives into the room after the arrow and is struck down by blows from all sides of the door by the goblins lying in wait. He crumples to the ground like a marionette with its strings cut. Tarik and Constain quickly enter the room to protect their fallen comrade, whilst Kaye, Luesse and Bartholomew look on from outside, knowing there isn’t enough room within the cave for them to aid their friends.

    Having slain the goblins, and waking the unicorn (And reviving John with more health potions). The party finds another 10 gold on each goblin.

    They enter the 2nd room which is empty (and dark) except for a treasure chest. Bartholomew offers to open the chest and pries it open releaseing a burst of magic! Bartholomew feels overcome with a desire to fall asleep, but shakes it off. Within the chest are several gold coins.





    kinda surprised I haven't posted that already....

    maybe I have
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  16. - Top - End - #376
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    Quick reply because I'm too tired to think straight...

    Love Gideon. I love his sense of humour, wonderfully dry and snarky and droll all at the same time. You made me laugh I had a couple of mild critisms mostly formatting, but I can't remember what they were so they clearly weren't that big a deal.

    Your second one - read more like you were giving a 'here's what happened last session' overview than an actual story. Try writing it as a story, not a session catchup. Flesh out the characters more, try to get into their heads with what they're thinking, seeing etc... even if you have to guess (I realise it's harder to do as DM because they're not your characters). Pick one to focus on and sort of follow them around, as if you're looking over their shoulder. Because you're the DM here, you might find it easier to write from the goblins point of view - that way you don't have to worry about what the PCs are thinking.

    edit: despite the fact that I turned on my laptop last night in order to post my latest snippet, I got distracted with other stuff and forgot all about it. Hopefully I'll remember it tonight. I'm rather proud of it

    EDIT:SNIPPET

    Of Headaches and Friendship
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    She really is extraordinarily beautiful. Not the fantastic, foreign beauty of Nera, who is extraordinary in her strangeness. Hers is a more – cultured, more refined beauty.

    I must be getting soft in my old age. Not that I’m really old – when members of your race regularly live to be 700 years, you measure time differently, maturity differently. They see me as ancient, but I am little more than a child. Still, there is something kind in his eyes.

    I wonder what changed her mind about me? I wonder if she realises that she is so easy to read? It was clear to me at our first meeting she was uncomfortable around me. Initially I assumed it was my status as the leader of the Lightbringers – or perhaps my attitude. Later I realised she has a hatred, bordering on a fear, of men.

    He admits it when he’s wrong. I’ll not absolve Rifus of all blame for taking pot shots in that cavern, but he freely admitted it was his note that got us into this situation. I can’t help but respect a person – even a man, who admits when they got it wrong.

    She is our glue. She holds us together. Controlling Rifus. Supporting Tanc. Encouraging Nera. Welcoming Anselm. And me? To me she is grace itself.

    He has – a certain refinement I haven’t found often. The court of Dandanagan had it, when I was there briefly. He reminds me – very slightly, of Davan. The young prince had a similar – nobility.

    I value her loyalty. She does not trust easily, which makes her ease around us all the more incredible. I wonder if the others realise the gift she gives us every time she steps forward to defend us with her quick words and quicker wit.

    He is – a defender. It’s a rare gift and even rarer to find one so willing to share it. I wonder he has stayed with us for so long – we have not treated him well. He is an honest soul amongst a group of rogues.

    It bothers me how well she hides her feelings from the others if she doesn’t want them to see. Oh if Nera makes a joke, she’ll laugh. If Rifus needs reining in, she’ll snap. If Tanc offers advice, she’ll agree. And yet every morning she borrows Rifus’ rod and sometimes Tanc’s vest and collar as well. They don’t seem to notice that while the damage is being restored, she is slowly getting worse.

    He genuinely cares. I think that’s what surprises me the most. Even towards Nera – who abuses him awfully at times, when she needs his assistance, he is all care and concern. And there is nothing false about it. Or him.

    I am worried about her. Only the Lord of Light can hear me within the confines of my mind and I can be completely honest. She is getting worse. Her complexion has gone from pale to pallid in a shorter time than I would have thought possible. I have asked her how she is feeling and though she tells me that she feels fine once she has repaired the damage I can see she is lying. This wound is taking its toll on her. I fear that one day she will find the damage is too great or that she simply loses the strength to fight. I will bend all my efforts, all the grace accorded to me by my God, but I fear that it will not be enough. I am unsure how long she can continue on like this. I do not want to see her die, she has – become a friend.

    He worries about me. I can see it in his eyes every morning – he watches me collect the rod and vest and collar from Rifus and Tanc, ready for when I need them. The others haven’t seen it – which sometimes surprises me. I know none of them are particularly perceptive, but still, we have been travelling together for much longer than he has been part of our group. He doesn’t say much, beyond the occasional question as to how I’m feeling. But I can see he’s worried. And to tell the truth, so am I. The immediate damage is repaired instantly by way of magic, but the lingering headaches and nausea are taking longer and longer to go away. Still, they need me – and – I don’t like my friends to worry. He is a friend.

    I have been watching her most of the night – unable to sleep for thinking about her. So I watch as she moves away to wake Rifus for his turn at watch. I marvel that she is strong enough to continue to take turns with him to keep watch. She approaches the fire where the rest of us huddle against the cold. As she lowers herself to her bedroll I notice her pause and lay one hand against her forehead briefly. I can’t help myself - “Silver.”

    At the sound of my name I am instantly alert. Rifus has come awake and is behind me, taking his turn on watch. Besides, it is not his voice. It is Lester’s voice. I should be more surprised than I am I think. I have been watching him most of the night so far, thinking about how – strange he is. Wondering how he can put up with us. Wondering how much he sees. In the dark I know he can barely see me, but I can see him well enough to know that he won’t accept my silence. “What is it Lester? You should be asleep.”

    I didn’t mean to. Perhaps it was because I was extremely tired. I blurted out what I had been thinking. “You are unwell. I can see it.” She looked unhappy for a split second before her iron controls slammed back into place. Too late. I had already seen. “Why do you hide it from the others?” The answer to that question was more important than I knew.

    I sighed. Bloody interfering paladin. I turned my face to stone as soon as he asked the question, but I knew he’d seen. He always saw. Of everyone I’d ever travelled with, I’d never met anyone who noticed as much about people as Lester did. Except perhaps Norrin, but he was a spy, so it was to be expected I suppose. I hadn’t expected that last question though, and I wasn’t quite sure how to answer it. “Because we have enough problems without worrying about my health.”

    I raised an eyebrow at her. That was her reason? That wasn’t a good enough reason. “You don’t think your health is important?”

    I glared at him. This wasn’t helping. I only wanted to rest while I had the time. Tomorrow wasn’t going to be a fun day and I was tired. “No Lester, that’s not what I mean,” I said not bothering to hide my exasperation. “But if we are going to stop the Eldenites from finding the staff of the Shadow King, then we cannot be weighed down by fears about my life.” I grimaced, I had never thought I would hear myself say what I was about to say. I rather liked my life. “This is more important than my life. I know all the stories Lester, I’m a bard. More importantly, I was alive during the last years of the Shadow King’s reign. I lived through the seven months of darkness after he was defeated. I know exactly what this world will receive if the College succeeds and if I have to give my life to prevent it then so be it.” I glared at him, daring him to mock me.

    I had never heard such passion from her before. Her green eyes glowed and glared at me, as if she expected me to make fun of her. Such a thing had never crossed my mind. I could only wish more of my fellows displayed such passion as was contained in this small, fragile vessel. Still... “You should be more careful my lady. You are precious to us.”

    I started and stared at him. What on earth had brought that on? I wasn’t even sure how to respond. I wasn’t used to being considered precious. Valuable yes, for my skills, my magic. Accepted, useful – all of those. But precious? It was foreign to me. And yet I liked it. “Rifus’ rod and Tanc’s items are doing their work well,” I told him, trying to make him feel better. I felt as if I owed it to him. “Each morning they heal the damage.”

    “And each morning it takes you longer to recover from it,” I said bluntly. I would not let her think I hadn’t noticed. Every morning she looked worse and worse. Every day it took longer for the pain in her eyes to fade. “The headaches and nausea are increasing aren’t they?”

    I was astonished. I am not going to deny it. This paladin, this man showed more compassion and more wisdom on a daily basis than I was used to seeing out of every man I’d ever known – for the course of their lives. Perhaps that was the problem with men. All their goodness had been concentrated into only one of them. I couldn’t argue with the knowing look he was giving me. “They are,” I acknowledged. I held up a hand to forestall the argument I saw on his lips. “Please Lester, let it go. If you wish to keep watch, I will not stop you. I promise – I will tell you if I feel the symptoms beginning to worsen. But – we simply cannot afford the time.”

    I didn’t like it of course, but I couldn’t fault her logic. She was, as always, extremely persuasive. Finally I bowed my head to her. “Very well, my lady. If you will keep me informed as to how you are feeling, I will not alert the others.”

    I frowned at him, that wasn’t what I’d said. His eyes were firm, steel, immovable. He knew exactly what he’d done and he wasn’t about to change. Very well. I could let him have that much. “As you wish my lord Lester. I will.” I couldn’t help but smile then, “Now go to sleep!”

    I chuckled. She was impossible. Beautiful, courageous, intelligent – and impossible. I bowed to her again, from the waist this time, and laid myself back among my bedroll and blankets. I said nothing, but I heard her moving to her own bedroll, listened to her quiet sigh as she settled herself into them. Heard a quiet exhalation as she relaxed.

    That man is impossible. Compassionate, dependable, strong – and impossible. I drew my most regal air about myself as I moved past him to my bedroll and nestled down into it. I couldn’t resist a swift glance at him and had to laugh at myself when I saw him, buried beneath blankets, eyes closed. I suppose old bones feel the cold more. I sighed softly as I tucked my pack under my head for a pillow. I had fooled him on one thing and one thing only. The headache never left me.
    Last edited by Lady Moreta; 2011-03-23 at 02:30 AM. Reason: adding in a re-write


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  17. - Top - End - #377
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    How I killed two party members by inventing the dirigible.
    That's... that's insane. Hilarious, but insane.

    Quote Originally Posted by big teej View Post
    "to rescue a prince" (or "to scare a party member")
    Ah, I've been waiting for this one, and you definitely did not disappoint! Gideon is an amazing character, and I just can't get enough of his glory-seeking, and his flair for the dramatic. His sense of humor never ceases to amuse and amaze me either. I could really feel his disappointment when he had his kill stolen, and I had a huge grin when I read the ending. Excellent work man!


    Quote Originally Posted by big teej View Post
    Adventure one: rescue the Unicorn!
    Now this one, unfortunately, I wasn't as crazy about. I liked the story, but it felt like there was a bit too much of the "he did this, she did that," sort of storytelling, which hampered the flow of the storytelling and made me feel more detached than engaged. I have to agree with Lady Moreta here. i.e. try writing from a third-person limited view focusing on one of the characters and their thoughts specifically. I would also suggest trying to turn a little bit more detail and description toward the background, items, and the characters' emotional reactions, as doing so would help to include the reader in all the action and drama and make the whole experience a lot more engrossing overall. Just don't go overboard with it. All in all, there's a lot of room for improvement, but it wasn't bad at all. Keep working at it, and you'll be just as good at third person as you are at first!

    Quote Originally Posted by Lady Moreta View Post
    Of Headaches and Friendship
    Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! I love it! I thoroughly enjoyed the dichotomy of the switching points of view, as I felt that they added a lot of interest to the story. They really kept me on my toes while reading because of how different the two personalities of the characters' were, with Silver's more cynical personality contrasting perfectly with Lester's forthright tone and concern. I could really feel a sense of urgency in the story as well, and you did an excellent job of conveying Silver's worsening conditions to really drive that home. The interaction between Silver and Lester was just delightful and incredibly sweet. The way Silver slowly let her guard down over the course of their conversation was just perfect, and I loved how they finished their conversation. The two are a good match, methinks.

    You really deserve to be proud of this snippet. I don't have enough nice things to say about it!


    I wish I could say the same for myself though. I've been having a lot of trouble feeling good about my writing lately, and most everything I've been doing just hasn't been meeting my expectations. Maybe I'm just trying to force myself too much.

    And that leads me to this snippet. Natalia has been ridiculously hard to write for lately, so I'm actually quite proud I was able to pull this one off. I don't feel that it's my best work, but I'm pretty sure it's a start to the end of my writer's block. At the very least, Natalia will get her time back in the spotlight again.

    Fall

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    I wanted to die.

    I really did. Every day, nothing awaited me but more pain and abuse at the hands of the Deathwind. At first, I wanted to kill him and escape, but the Fear Legion was well-organized and filled with dangerous soldiers, while I was a malnourished and mistreated prisoner. I could never escape, and now, it wasn’t even worth trying. My hope had died, and now all I wanted was to die with it. But even that was denied to me.

    I had tried to escape not so long ago, only to be caught by the Deathwind and beaten bloody for my insolence. Since then, all I ever experienced was never ending assault and constant pain, while chained to a pole in the Deathwind’s tent like an animal. All that was left for me were the memories of the dead and a tiny amulet in the shape of an eight-pointed star.


    Well, that, and the mystery of Nesra. That strange name that the Deathwind would mutter to himself whenever he saw me. There was just something about the way he said it that chilled me to my very bones. It was almost as if he was seeing something that wasn’t really there. But what did it mean? What was Nesra? Who was Nesra?

    I guess it didn’t really matter anymore, did it? Those things weren’t enough to keep me going. They were all useless to me. Nothing mattered anymore but ending my suffering.

    And that’s when I saw it. A long, slender knife, partially hidden by the clutter of the table where it laid, seemed to gleam right before my eyes. The Deathwind was gone… My chain was long enough… Could this have finally been my chance?

    Nervously, I inched over to the blade and grabbed it. I felt the weight of the cold, hard steel in my hands as I pressed it against my chest. I felt tears begin to well in my eyes as I prepared to plunge the knife into my heart.

    And then, out of nowhere, hideous, high-pitched laughter filled the room. The Hearteater had arrived, seemingly out of nowhere.

    “What’s this Natalia? Trying to take your leave of us so soon? What a shame!” he cackled maniacally. “I even had a deal for you today!”

    “What could you possibly want from me?” I asked hoarsely. This was the first time I had spoken in gods know when.

    “It’s not just what I want from you, but what you want from me,” he chuckled evilly. “You want to be free, do you not?”

    I could barely believe what he was offering. Was there actually a chance at freedom?

    “What do you want from me?” I asked carefully. I had seen enough of the Hearteater to know that he was far from trustworthy. Cruel, manipulative, and far too clever for his own good, he was behind almost every atrocity that the Deathwind committed. And now he was offering me a chance to finally escape.

    “Nothing much really. You see, I am but a simple medicine man. By tribal tradition, I can never become leader unless someone else nominates me. Now, also by tribal tradition, the only way one can become leader is to be nominated, or…” he giggled nastily. “To defeat the current leader in single combat. You see where I’m going? You-” he pointed at me. “You are a warrior, are you not? Trained by the Emperor’s finest?” he bent down next to me and began to whisper. “You see, I want you to challenge the Deathwind, and kill him. Then you can name me the chieftain, and I can set you free,” he sounded giddy with excitement.

    He was insane. No doubt about it. Yet he had given me hope, and I was not going to relinquish it so quickly. But still. What he was asking was suicide. He had to have a plan.

    “I’ve been defeated by the Deathwind once before. How can you possibly expect me to win, especially the way I am now?”

    “Ah! You are a clever one, my dear. But I am cleverer!” he produced a small vial, filled to the brim with a dark, viscous, green liquid. “Just find some way to get this in him, and he will never be a threat to you again,” As I studied the poison, he unshackled me. “Don’t run now, or I’ll have you hunted down,” he hissed. “Now then, I must go. No telling when he’ll be back,” he turned to leave.

    “Wait!” I shouted. He stopped suddenly, before he turned slowly back to me.

    “What more do you want?!” the Hearteater growled. I felt the hair stand on the back of my neck at his sudden shift in mood. I was taken aback, and more scared than anything, but there was still something that I had to know.

    “He had called me Nesra,” I said carefully, trying hard not to provoke him. “Who is that?”

    The Hearteater froze. I could feel his gaze focused heavily upon me from underneath his mask, and just like the Deathwind, he seemed to be seeing something, or someone, that was not there. Then, the next thing I knew, he had doubled over in laughter, his manic shrieks once again filling the room.

    “Oh this is too good!” the Hearteater said excitedly. “Nesra? That’s his dead wife! Ahaha! Oh! He thinks that you’re her? I knew you were the right choice!”

    His shrill laughter still filled my ears even after he had walked away.

    It was not soon after he had left when the Deathwind arroved. Covered almost entirely in blood and gore, he stalked over to his bed and collapsed into it. Soon, he was fast asleep, snoring loudly. I gazed upon his form in utter revulsion. The world would not be worse off without him. I would be saving lives by doing this. It would be worth it.


    I smiled as I emptied the bottle into his throat.

  18. - Top - End - #378
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    hello my fellow snippitieers...

    I'm afraid big teej is going dark for a while.
    he has strep throat.
    and is talking in the third person.
    this can't be good.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady Moreta View Post
    That's... quite a story...

    I have to ask though - How did you accidentally throw the fighter out of the dirigible? Did the player not protest at all or try to stop you?
    Me: I throw the first bomb out of the dirigible!
    *rolls something bad,doesn't do much damage*
    Me: I throw second bomb out of the dirigible!
    *rolls something better and deals more damage*
    Me: I throw the third bomb out of the dirigible!
    *rolls a 17.*
    DM: yea umm....they only made two bombs....so you instead grab the fighter and throw him out because you weren't paying attention.
    the player did protest and technically the fighter did survive....but just barely, so much so that the guy playing him decided to a roll a monk for the feather fall ability they get and basically stop playing the fighter. so technically I killed the fighter in that the player won't play him anymore
    Last edited by Lord Raziere; 2011-03-18 at 06:03 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Machuchang View Post
    Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! I love it!
    That's a lot of yeses Thanks.

    Quote Originally Posted by Machuchang View Post
    The two are a good match, methinks.
    Nah... he's too old for her. Or she's too old for him... one or the other He I believe is meant to be in his 50s so getting 'old' for a human. She is 123 (yes, she's 123, no I didn't just make it up, I rolled randomly for that thank you very much ), which is in her 20s - for an elf.

    Peregrine made the same comment when he read it and while I realise it can be read that way, it isn't meant to be. It seems rare in this world but I firmly believe it is possible for a person to look at a member of the opposite sex and be able to see their beauty/attractiveness without it meaning anything even remotely romantic or erotic. I love my husband to death, but I'm quite capable of looking at another man and going 'wow he's cute'. I'm simply acknowledging that - yup, that dude's good looking.

    With these two, I've always felt that Lester sort of looks on her like a daughter - albiet a daughter who's twice his age He recognises that she's extremely attractive and because he's the only member of the party (apart from her) who has a sense motive worth a damn, I figure he's probably most likely to see through a lot of what she does to hide things from the others. That's what he's responding to. She is responding to a man who in one sense, is much older than her - he's a mature adult as humans measure time, and yet is over 50 years younger than her so obviously can't see things the same way. I don't think she sees him as any sort of father figure - more that she is so suspicious of men in general and their motives that she's constantly being surprised by him and his lack of motives (at least of the kind she's used to seeing). That's keeping her off-guard and making her more open to being honest with him.

    Quote Originally Posted by Machuchang View Post
    You really deserve to be proud of this snippet. I don't have enough nice things to say about it!
    Why thank you kind sir I actually just re-wrote a paragraph just now. Peregrine pointed out that Silver would know more than just stories of the Shadow King, she was alive when he was still in power. He was overthrown when she was 9 years old, and she then lived through the 7 months of total darkness that followed.


    Quote Originally Posted by Machuchang View Post
    And that leads me to this snippet. Natalia has been ridiculously hard to write for lately, so I'm actually quite proud I was able to pull this one off. I don't feel that it's my best work, but I'm pretty sure it's a start to the end of my writer's block. At the very least, Natalia will get her time back in the spotlight again.
    I completely understand that feeling. Why do you think the Lyra snippet is taking so long to write? Okay, that's probably got something to do with the fact that part of the snippet is coming from the point of view of the paladin, and he's not my character so he's harder to write for, but yeah, I completely understand.

    I agree with your assessment, I still enjoyed the story and I thought you captured Natalia's internal struggle well, but I don't think it's your best work. It reads a lot like my stories that I've written only becuase I'm forcing myself to get the words out becuase if I can just push through the block I'll be able to write again. Kinda what I'm doing with Lyra at the moment, stubborn pain-in-the-ass that she is.

    Teej- hope you get better soon I've been off sick all this week (so far) and it sucks. Also wanted to mention again how much I enjoyed Gideon - I love his dry sense of humour - even at himself. With the whole 'here's my kill here's my kill!' then his 'well that was anti-climatic' when the barbarian got in first. There was no outright anger, just a wonderful dry sense of humour. I love a character who can laugh at themself.

    And the 'stuff it'? Loved it

    In other news: won't be any more Silver snippets for a while, she died last session Still all's not lost, Peregrine decided that he'd rather bring her back than have me roll up a new character (he really wants to run the campaign with the same characters all the way through). So I'm going to (re)create Terryn for the world she was originally intended for as a temporary character until we find a way to raise Silver, since the backwater continent we're on doesn't really have much in the way of resurrection spells.
    Last edited by Lady Moreta; 2011-03-23 at 06:31 AM.


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  21. - Top - End - #381
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    another session with Gideon this past week,

    I'm going to try and write it today, but no promises.


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    I'm so glad you posted I still haven't finished the Lyra snippet I promised ages ago, but I haven't had anything else to write either, but I can't post because I'd be double-posting...

    I have a couple of ideas for shorter ones I might write, but at the moment anyway, writing just takes such a long time... probably because I'm sick and tired...


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  23. - Top - End - #383
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    RE: double posting

    problem solved.


    also,
    stop being sick.
    Teej's orders

    also, the gideon snippet may be postponed until I have payed off my sleep debt

    EDIT:
    looking back on last session, I can't write a new snippet for gideon.... not for last session at least

    why?
    because I didn't do.... .ANYTHING
    I rolled maybe 3 dice the whole session.... and spent 80% of said session sitting outside the tavern....
    Last edited by big teej; 2011-04-11 at 12:05 AM.
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    I imagine Cenobites to be what you get when you mash together the Book of Erotic Fantasy and the Book of Vile Darkness.

    if I've gone quiet in a pbp we share, PM ME! this means I'm not getting updates!

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    Well, it's not Lyra, but I wrote another snippet.

    As I said earlier, Silver died a couple of sessions back and after much discussion with Peregrine, I decided to create Terryn for the game and setting she was originally intended for. So now I have two D&D characters named Terryn (though to avoid confusing myself I have spelled their surnames differently). She's only a filler character until we get enough moneys to pay for a rez for Silver, but that doesn't mean I can't write snippets! And here's the first one.

    Cast of Characters
    or That Pesky Paladin

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    Tanc. Human male. Moves fast and hits hard. Moves quieter than any man that size has the right to do.

    Check. Damn he’s big. But check.

    Nera. Catfolk female. Gorgeous in a furry sort of way. Spellcaster – spontaneous probably. Favours blasting spells, fireballs a speciality.

    Check.

    Rifus. Elf male. Mental stability debateable. Warlock – capable of hitting almost anything. Extremely hard to hit himself.

    Wait. No elf. Okay…

    Silver.

    She’s the one I really want to see anyway.

    Elf female. Talks fast. Not a bad fighter, so the stories go.

    Oh… no Silver. Instead we get – oh. Oh dear. Oh that’s not good.

    Lester. Human male. Paladin. Problem. Self-righteous, not a bad fighter, all about truth and justice. Knows who Skylare Fern is.

    The question is – will he recognise her in me? Damn. I didn’t think he’d still be with them by this point. This could be a problem.

    It serves me right for not checking and double checking. But all the stories I’d heard said, and loudly, that someone like Lester wouldn’t stick with a misfit group like this any longer than he had to. I can’t imagine why he’d still be with them.

    And where are Rifus and Silver? And that dwarf the locals said they came into town with? I don’t know – but if I’m going to – do what I want to do, then I need to find Silver at least. She can vouch for me.

    In the meantime, I’ll just have to be careful. Lord Lester isn’t an idiot and if he recognises in me the woman who once held him hostage, then I am royally screwed.

    Wait. They’re leaving. Let’s hope they spilt up. No rest for the weary – or the wicked. Up you get girl, follow them and earn your pay.


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    a man sits in the corner of the tavern, keeping a watchful eye on the room. he is dressed in black leather armor. his body armour has no sleeves, around his left wrist are two thick metal bands. beside him is a massive double bladed axe.

    so ye wish to ken how I came by this axe lad? you ask how I won these scars? let me tell you laddie, I have travelled the void, and stared into depths even mages fear to explore. I've lost more comrades than most people will come to trust. I will tell you how I came by my power, my past, and of events yet to come.



    a snippet in the future...
    "Reminisces of the Skulltaker"
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    I imagine Cenobites to be what you get when you mash together the Book of Erotic Fantasy and the Book of Vile Darkness.

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  26. - Top - End - #386
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    Note: this snippet takes place in White Wolf's stellar Changeling: the Lost.

    The Host of a Thousand Princes
    Or: Endgame

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    Witness the defenders of humanity, huddled around their garbage can fires and their steaming sewer vents, trembling in the cold and Winter wind. See them hide beneath cardboard boxes and exchange quiet words of reassurance to each other as Seattle drizzles its filth onto them.

    It's been raining for twelve days.

    Even the Blind are spooked; mortals stay indoors, closing their businesses and locking themselves into secure rooms with their families. Lightning hammers at the sky, booming its wrath down to the earth like the declarations of an angry god. Amongst the Lost, weapons are checked and re-checked, armor is polished and painted, and vehicles receive last-minute tune-ups. They number in the thousands, vagrants and corporate queens, warriors and liars, some muttering prayers to gods long dead, others communing deep with the Wyrd. Fear's children haunt the rank-and-file, giving an encouraging word here and a comforting hand there. Many cry; even more vomit from the stress. In the private corners, desperate lovers embrace each other one last time.

    A quiet man with fleshless fingers and vines burrowing into his neck and arms whispers, "It's time." As if by unspoken signal, the Lost stand, offering parting goodbyes and sorting themselves into several groups with mad smiles and thousand-mile stares. Overhead, the one news chopper still flying reports on their activities. Millions around the world watch in utter confusion.

    The clock strikes midnight on the thirteenth day of the storm.

    Summer

    Dawn rises over Seattle as the Iron Spear settles into their battle formations, each of Wrath's warriors aiming themselves at the park at Magnolia Crescent. Hundreds strong, they sit astride steeds made of witchcraft and motorcycles made from nothing more than toil and steel. The front ranks clutch at their weapons nervously. For some, this will be their first real battle, and they hold to improvised implements like they are holy relics. For most of the others, the fury they have nursed so long blazes brighter than any fear could possibly quench.

    As the sun climbs high into the sky, a woman wearing a crown of lightning rides her steed in front of her assembled Court, waving a banner emblazoned with a simple black spear. Silence descends upon the ranks as she speaks in a clear shout that blazes with elemental fury, the rage of her words alighting the nearby buildings with Saint Elmo's Fire.

    "We all knew this was coming!" she decrees. "We have trained for this day since Sam Noblood first hunted Summer with a spear of Autumn leaves and forced it to sue for peace! They think they have us cornered! They think this will be an easy conquest! I say no more! This is the day of reckoning! This is the battle of righteousness, when the Lost shall confront their masters and prove once and for all that above anything else, we are free! Some of you have whispered that this mission is suicide, and I say to you this - it is. But today, at the head of the charge, the Iron Spear dies on its feet and not its knees, as free men and women!"

    A large portal opens in the park, without fanfare; several of the Court fail to notice it at first. Through it pours a great host waving banners and beating war-drums, its foot soldiers armed with blades of stained glass and of frozen light, holding balefire guns and wheeling cannons that fire grief and death. The generals of this host ride forth on steeds made from nightmares and shadows, each a unique horror unto itself - look there, and see the Lady of Keening Death. Look left, do you not see Crackjaw, the giant that ate the Grand Canyon from the earth? Is that not Mistress Malice in the shattered mirror, smiling her bloody smile? The army marches forth in its splendor and its wrath, the music it creates both discordant and harmonious, weaving a song of death and doom that echoes through the city.

    There is a great roar as the knights of Summer start their engines all at once.

    "This is the day of wrath! This is the day of ruin! Let no man falter on this charge! Let no blade show mercy in this fight! We are the Iron Spear, the first and last defenders of humanity, and today we stand unmasked and shining in our glory and our fury, ready to fight the battle that determines the fate of the world! SUMMER!"

    The answering chorus of the courtiers booms out, "WRATH!" as they charge as one, lances lowered, automatic weapons spitting out streams of bullets as the great Host of a Thousand Princes charges forth to meet them. Sorceries cross the battle-lines, warping reality around them as Contracts struggle for dominance of the world.

    The two armies meet with a mighty crash. Thunder booms, and the clocks strike once more.

    Winter

    The cross hairs settle on the face of a hobgoblin, a hideous thing that looks like a cross between a bear and a tree. Exhale. Squeeze the trigger. The iron-tipped round blows through its skull and buries itself in the Fairest thrall behind it, sending both sprawling to the ground.

    Winter's children do not speak.

    Dozens of efficient hands move their weapons in near-unison, supporting Summer's charge with careful, deliberate sniper fire. Winter's bullets find sorcerers, officers, and beast-masters, sending chaos into the enemy's seemingly-limitless ranks. A quiet girl with dark green eyes and stained glass hair reloads her weapon with chill efficiency and begins to take aim when she sees a signal from her spotter. As one, the Onyx Courtiers stand and move, staying low, to their next vantage point, reaching it just before their previous perch is ripped to shreds by Gentry sorcery.

    The quiet girl settles in and takes aim once again. A manticore's head floats into her sights. Exhale. Squeeze the trigger.

    "I hate you," the girl whispers fiercely as she takes aim once more.

    No one else comments on the tears streaming from her eyes, or their own.


    The next half (Spring and Autumn) will come...soon :p


    Quote Originally Posted by Chilingsworth View Post
    Wow! Not only was that awesome, I think I actually kinda understand Archeron now. If all the "intermediate" outer planes got that kind of treatment, I doubt there would be anywhere near as many critics of their utility.
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    I am intrigued...
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    Quote Originally Posted by Occasional Sage View Post
    big teej, you are the GitP forum with legs.
    Quote Originally Posted by McSmack View Post
    Or if you're feeling saucy you can remind him that it's not a democracy, it's a Teej-tatorship, and he'd best remember that.
    Quote Originally Posted by IthroZada View Post
    I imagine Cenobites to be what you get when you mash together the Book of Erotic Fantasy and the Book of Vile Darkness.

    if I've gone quiet in a pbp we share, PM ME! this means I'm not getting updates!

  28. - Top - End - #388
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    Quote Originally Posted by big teej View Post
    I am intrigued...
    As warm and fuzzy as that makes me feel, might I possibly get more specific statements as to what was done right/wrong?


    Quote Originally Posted by Chilingsworth View Post
    Wow! Not only was that awesome, I think I actually kinda understand Archeron now. If all the "intermediate" outer planes got that kind of treatment, I doubt there would be anywhere near as many critics of their utility.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord_Gareth View Post
    As warm and fuzzy as that makes me feel, might I possibly get more specific statements as to what was done right/wrong?
    heh.

    well, short version of the long version (I'm ina bit of a time crunch)

    a 'neutral' aspect was
    I had almost no idea what was going on
    war. I get it, beyond that....
    not so much.

    this intrigued me.

    the descriptions and imagery? the speaches and stuff?

    loved it!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Occasional Sage View Post
    big teej, you are the GitP forum with legs.
    Quote Originally Posted by McSmack View Post
    Or if you're feeling saucy you can remind him that it's not a democracy, it's a Teej-tatorship, and he'd best remember that.
    Quote Originally Posted by IthroZada View Post
    I imagine Cenobites to be what you get when you mash together the Book of Erotic Fantasy and the Book of Vile Darkness.

    if I've gone quiet in a pbp we share, PM ME! this means I'm not getting updates!

  30. - Top - End - #390
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord_Gareth View Post
    Note: this snippet takes place in White Wolf's stellar Changeling: the Lost.

    The Host of a Thousand Princes
    Or: Endgame

    Spoiler
    Show
    Witness the defenders of humanity, huddled around their garbage can fires and their steaming sewer vents, trembling in the cold and Winter wind. See them hide beneath cardboard boxes and exchange quiet words of reassurance to each other as Seattle drizzles its filth onto them.

    It's been raining for twelve days.

    Even the Blind are spooked; mortals stay indoors, closing their businesses and locking themselves into secure rooms with their families. Lightning hammers at the sky, booming its wrath down to the earth like the declarations of an angry god. Amongst the Lost, weapons are checked and re-checked, armor is polished and painted, and vehicles receive last-minute tune-ups. They number in the thousands, vagrants and corporate queens, warriors and liars, some muttering prayers to gods long dead, others communing deep with the Wyrd. Fear's children haunt the rank-and-file, giving an encouraging word here and a comforting hand there. Many cry; even more vomit from the stress. In the private corners, desperate lovers embrace each other one last time.

    A quiet man with fleshless fingers and vines burrowing into his neck and arms whispers, "It's time." As if by unspoken signal, the Lost stand, offering parting goodbyes and sorting themselves into several groups with mad smiles and thousand-mile stares. Overhead, the one news chopper still flying reports on their activities. Millions around the world watch in utter confusion.

    The clock strikes midnight on the thirteenth day of the storm.

    Summer

    Dawn rises over Seattle as the Iron Spear settles into their battle formations, each of Wrath's warriors aiming themselves at the park at Magnolia Crescent. Hundreds strong, they sit astride steeds made of witchcraft and motorcycles made from nothing more than toil and steel. The front ranks clutch at their weapons nervously. For some, this will be their first real battle, and they hold to improvised implements like they are holy relics. For most of the others, the fury they have nursed so long blazes brighter than any fear could possibly quench.

    As the sun climbs high into the sky, a woman wearing a crown of lightning rides her steed in front of her assembled Court, waving a banner emblazoned with a simple black spear. Silence descends upon the ranks as she speaks in a clear shout that blazes with elemental fury, the rage of her words alighting the nearby buildings with Saint Elmo's Fire.

    "We all knew this was coming!" she decrees. "We have trained for this day since Sam Noblood first hunted Summer with a spear of Autumn leaves and forced it to sue for peace! They think they have us cornered! They think this will be an easy conquest! I say no more! This is the day of reckoning! This is the battle of righteousness, when the Lost shall confront their masters and prove once and for all that above anything else, we are free! Some of you have whispered that this mission is suicide, and I say to you this - it is. But today, at the head of the charge, the Iron Spear dies on its feet and not its knees, as free men and women!"

    A large portal opens in the park, without fanfare; several of the Court fail to notice it at first. Through it pours a great host waving banners and beating war-drums, its foot soldiers armed with blades of stained glass and of frozen light, holding balefire guns and wheeling cannons that fire grief and death. The generals of this host ride forth on steeds made from nightmares and shadows, each a unique horror unto itself - look there, and see the Lady of Keening Death. Look left, do you not see Crackjaw, the giant that ate the Grand Canyon from the earth? Is that not Mistress Malice in the shattered mirror, smiling her bloody smile? The army marches forth in its splendor and its wrath, the music it creates both discordant and harmonious, weaving a song of death and doom that echoes through the city.

    There is a great roar as the knights of Summer start their engines all at once.

    "This is the day of wrath! This is the day of ruin! Let no man falter on this charge! Let no blade show mercy in this fight! We are the Iron Spear, the first and last defenders of humanity, and today we stand unmasked and shining in our glory and our fury, ready to fight the battle that determines the fate of the world! SUMMER!"

    The answering chorus of the courtiers booms out, "WRATH!" as they charge as one, lances lowered, automatic weapons spitting out streams of bullets as the great Host of a Thousand Princes charges forth to meet them. Sorceries cross the battle-lines, warping reality around them as Contracts struggle for dominance of the world.

    The two armies meet with a mighty crash. Thunder booms, and the clocks strike once more.

    Winter

    The cross hairs settle on the face of a hobgoblin, a hideous thing that looks like a cross between a bear and a tree. Exhale. Squeeze the trigger. The iron-tipped round blows through its skull and buries itself in the Fairest thrall behind it, sending both sprawling to the ground.

    Winter's children do not speak.

    Dozens of efficient hands move their weapons in near-unison, supporting Summer's charge with careful, deliberate sniper fire. Winter's bullets find sorcerers, officers, and beast-masters, sending chaos into the enemy's seemingly-limitless ranks. A quiet girl with dark green eyes and stained glass hair reloads her weapon with chill efficiency and begins to take aim when she sees a signal from her spotter. As one, the Onyx Courtiers stand and move, staying low, to their next vantage point, reaching it just before their previous perch is ripped to shreds by Gentry sorcery.

    The quiet girl settles in and takes aim once again. A manticore's head floats into her sights. Exhale. Squeeze the trigger.

    "I hate you," the girl whispers fiercely as she takes aim once more.

    No one else comments on the tears streaming from her eyes, or their own.


    The next half (Spring and Autumn) will come...soon :p
    All right punk, I'm reading I'm reading

    First impression: Wow.
    Second impression: Wow.

    This is very very good. I agree with Teej, first word that pops to mind (apart from 'wow') is intriguing. The neutral viewpoint works really well with the content, though I rather suspect that knowing the game system would make a huge difference in knowing what the heck is going on. I was a bit confused about who the two sides were and why they were fighting, but I figure that's just because I don't know the system. If I did, I think it would make a lot more sense. And in a way, it works not knowing. Your descriptions are evocative and reactive. I can see the type of lightening that acts as a hammer in the sky.

    Probably my biggest point of confusion was when you switched to Winter and had them talking about hitting a hobgoblin. Earlier in the snippet I got the distinct impression that everyone involved in Summer was human.

    Dawn rises over Seattle as the Iron Spear settles into their battle formations, each of Wrath's warriors aiming themselves at the park at Magnolia Crescent.
    Language-wise, this sentence is probably the only thing I'd change. I have a pet peeve about sentences that have the same word in close proximity. I would change this to say "... at the park on Magnolia Crescent."

    I have to say - no idea what's going on, but your skill at writing is such that I don't really care. As long as you keep writing


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