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Thread: D&D Snippets

  1. - Top - End - #541
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady Moreta View Post
    That's my boy (no really, Peregrine is my husband )
    His presence here shall only end in blood!

    I challenge you to a duel, Peregrine!


    Quote Originally Posted by Chilingsworth View Post
    Wow! Not only was that awesome, I think I actually kinda understand Archeron now. If all the "intermediate" outer planes got that kind of treatment, I doubt there would be anywhere near as many critics of their utility.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord_Gareth View Post
    His presence here shall only end in blood!

    I challenge you to a duel, Peregrine!
    I feel so loved

    Guess what! I wrote another one! Bonus points if you can figure out who this is.

    Pain

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    Pain.

    A dull, throbbing ache. A pulsating reverberation – a thousand drums and drummers drumming. Beat. Beat. Beat.

    Pain.

    A sharp, searing piercing agony. A jagged heat – a thousand burning suns, blazing fires putting forth flame. Burn. Burn. Burn.

    Pain. Nothing but pain.

    ----------

    Pain.

    Deep, pounding – a hundred hammers chiselling out a niche in solid rock.

    Pain.

    Shooting, stabbing – a hundred needles plunging into soft soft flesh.

    ----------

    Pain. Dull, throbbing, pulsating, sharp, searing, piercing, blazing, deep, pounding, shooting, stabbing and screaming. Always screaming. Screaming thousands of glass needles plunging into the soft skin of the throat. Screaming hundreds of fires burning tinder-dry grass. Always screaming. Screaming. Screaming. Screaming.

    I woke up screaming. Pain! Torture! Why?

    “Isss a righ!” A voice – somewhere, speaking in treacle-filled words. Hurting. Too much hurting! Make it go away!

    I thrashed. No more torture! Just kill me!

    “Ho’ still! E’ll ‘urt ‘ersel’f” more voices, the same voice, full of fluff. And hands, hands all over me, my shoulders, my legs, holding, pinning, stretching, immobile. And pain. Blinding, stabbing, shooting, overwhelming. Kill me. Kill me. Kill me.

    Help me!

    “Got i’?”

    “Yesshh. Lea’v nw. ‘Eep.” More voices, everyone was talking in long slurred voices, the kinds you hear from people who’ve never heard a voice speak before. And they left me in my pain. Always screaming.

    ----------

    Cold.

    Cold that lit a fire, burning and sliding from side to side. I jerked, pulled sideways and back, away from the slithering cold fire.

    “Shhhh, shush now. It’s all right, it’s all right.” Another voice, or was it the same voice? The cold disappeared and took – some of the pain with it.

    “Whaaaaaa-?” my voice unrecognisable, I spoke through molasses into a brown paper bag, into the depths of the earth, smothering me.

    “You’ve been badly hurt child. I had to remove an arrowhead from your back. Just lie still. Susshhh now, you’re safe.” Safe. Not tortured after all.

    ----------

    “Ungghh,” I fought my way out of darkness that wanted to keep me, wrapped in silence, wrapped in pain.

    “Well now, you’re awake. This is good news!” A voice. A voice I knew, but didn’t know. Memory wasn’t- wasn’t what? Hands were touching me, starting small fires at every point they rested on my – my back? I was lying on my stomach and my back burned.

    “Ungghh,” I tried again, I could speak, couldn’t I? “Where?”

    “Where are you?” The voice spoke, closer now and I could hear a creaking sound as someone moved closer to me. “You’re in the village of Dake, Skaya.” Dake. That wasn’t a name I recognised, but Skaya – that was familiar. A place? A country? Something. “You were found on the doorstep of the mayor’s house, bleeding to death.” The voice, I could tell now it was female, softened with just a hint of pride, “I’m skilled in some minor forms of healing. You were brought to me. And I must say, I’m rather surprised at how well you’ve healed. You’re stronger than you look.”

    Well, that was good. I’m stronger than I look. What do I look like? I couldn’t think straight, why couldn’t I see my own face in my mind. Though if I’d been hit with an arrow in the back, I probably didn’t look to good. Before I could ask any questions, the voice was speaking again,

    “Now, just hold still. I need to change the bandages and clean out your wound again. I’m sorry I can’t give you anything for the pain.” A soft, sad sigh, “We don’t have many potions here and I’m afraid I used all the ones I had on hand to stop you from dying on me. Now then, just hang on and it’ll be all over with soon” and with these bright words, this woman started torturing me again.

    I felt very little while she removed the bandages, carefully unwinding them with barely a touch on my skin. Until she got to the very last section, which appeared – and so she said – to have stuck themselves to my back,

    “Oh dear, you’re still bleeding, that’s not good."

    “Ah! Auhhh... ggnnghhh” I couldn’t help myself, it hurt! Pain sliced through me, burning lines up and down my back. Shooting into my brain, slamming around my skull then hissing down my legs. I thrashed, unable to hold still. “Ssstop! Please! Ahhggh!”

    “You poor dear,” she spoke above my head, a constant litany of sound, presumably to distract me from the agony that had apparently replaced my lower back. “I can’t imagine why anyone would do such a thing to another person. It just doesn’t make sense.” There was a pause and the feeling of warm breath on my face made me realise that the woman had moved and was now crouching in front of me. For the first time in days, I opened my eyes.

    “Ouch.”

    “Oh! The light,” she chuckled, hastening to lay a cool hand over my eyes, “yes, I imagine you’re a bit sensitive to light right now. Don’t worry, it will pass.” She moved her hand and I got a flash of pale, wrinkled skin and calm, clear grey eyes. The eyes smiled at me, before she rose again and moved back to my side. Dark brown homespun skirts swirled in my vision and I closed my eyes as bile rose up in my throat.

    “Steady now,” she said, and before I had time to prepare myself, she was layering new bandages and I was thrashing and screaming. Thrashing and screaming. Thrashing til I felt blankets and sheets tangle and choke my limbs. Screaming til my voice was all but gone. Why!? Why why why? Why was I here?

    “Why?” I sobbed, my voice breaking and instantly she was at my head again.

    “Oh child,” she soothed a hand over my hair, “I wish I could tell you. I was going to ask you if you knew what had happened, none of us saw anything.” I shook my head, I didn’t remember anything, and that made me think – as much as I could through the blinding blanket that was all I knew.

    “Who-?”

    “Oh! How silly of me! I forgot to tell you my name. I am Lydia.”

    “No.” I croaked, asking her name had not yet occurred to me. That was... that was bad? “No,” I said again, gasping the words out. “Who am I?


    Oh, and if someone can fix the 'voice of fluff' line I'd be very grateful
    Last edited by Lady Moreta; 2011-08-26 at 04:56 AM. Reason: fixing formatting

  3. - Top - End - #543
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    Well, I looked up the item with that enchantment in the DMG, and that's how it was spelled. I think your spelling is correct for the concept in question, but they named it differently.

    Thanks for the criticism, it's exactly why I wanted to try a different style.

    Jack was thinking about turning us in for a moment, but things happened to fast for us to know that IC. So, I went with the expression.

    The mage that grabbed Garrett was just outside the circle...that really is unclear...

    Anyway! More practice with that style later. Thanks much!
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    Askaretha's Ascension as Vaishirth

  4. - Top - End - #544
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord_Gareth View Post
    His presence here shall only end in blood!

    I challenge you to a duel, Peregrine!
    .....
    why do I have a sudden desire to pull a Bowser and run off with the princess while the heroes are distracted?


    ..... I think I've been Dungeon Mastering too much.

  5. - Top - End - #545
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    I cannot believe I've never seen this thread before. So much to read! I'm never going to get any work done at this rate.

    I'm also going to start writing some snippets from one of my longest-running campaigns-- four years in real life and 6 in-game, going from lvl 1-16 so far. This is as good an excuse as I'm going to get to begin to immortalize it
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  6. - Top - End - #546
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    Without further ado, here goes something very very early on; maybe our first or second session. Ladies and gentlemen... Claaus O'Neal!

    Much to Forgive
    or: Three Feats Is A Lot At Level 1
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    Oh God. Merciful God, what have I done?

    Was it really only yesterday that Charlize put down that arrogant Ramirez? What a duel that had been... I was so happy when she won the right not to marry him. That's my life. We're all friends, and I'm Second Captain of Antonia's armies, and Filbert's never done anything ambiguous, and Namia's just a cute, sweet girl, if lower-class. That's my life, not this... mess. Today is just a blur. A violent, painful blur that I can't stop remembering.

    Could it really have been Charlize? They say sorcerers are powerful, dangerous, out-of-control, but she wouldn't blow up her own house, would she? She loves her family... she wouldn't.

    Of course there was a search. An investigation. Everyone connected to the family was questioned; standard procedure. Damn him! The officer talking to my family couldn't keep his mouth shut. Had to talk about all the filth they'd uncovered. Had to name names.

    We'd all spent the night with Namia, at her caretaker's cottage. Filthy place; I can see why they think she's a druid. Foul, dark smells and unlabeled jars of... things. Her "grandmother" was clearly up to no good in there, at any rate. I expect she's been executed by now.

    They had come before dawn; it was just as well I hadn't slept. Nim made a dash out the front door--I'd told him not to, of course. It worked though--I remember thinking I'd need to take this squad to task for being so easily distracted. I got the others out the back; told them Nim and I would meet them in the forest by the old climbing tree.

    I went looking for Nim, and before I'd gotten a hundred yards, I heard Namia screaming from the opposite direction. Doubling around, I saw down an alley who had her in custody: Charlize's brother Emmanuel. As a distinguished paladin in the service of the One, he outranked me--I couldn't just command her release. I remember standing there stupidly, thinking about what to do, when Nim almost ran me down.

    "There's one following me I think, and two more with Emmanuel. How are we getting Namia? We've got to save her! Do you think Emmanuel would understand?" He kept checking over his shoulder as he talked, like a squirrel who smells a dog.

    "No, I don't think he'll understand. We've got to get the guards away; Charlize might be able to negotiate with Emmanuel. She's still around somewhere, right?"

    "Yeah, she's across the street. I have an idea." Nim drew two daggers.

    I still could have turned back at this point. Could have just walked through the alley to Emmanuel on the other side, seen that she got good accommodations, and used my influence to get her off. She's not the druid, after all, her caretaker was. I could have done the smart thing. But I didn't.

    I drew my sword, beginning to spar with Nim as we'd done often in play, since we were kids. The noise drew attention, and when I saw the guards look, I yelled to them. "Hey give me a hand with this one, will you?"

    I heard the shouted "Yes, sir!" and muttered to Nim, "so, what's the plan?"

    *

    The rain picks up. That's good; it'll hide our tracks. Unless they send mages, and I've got to think they will. It's not every day a high-ranking officer betrays his soldiers, brainwashes a monk, knocks out a paladin, and flees the city with a sorceress and a druid.

    I can't feel the fire behind me; I glance around to find that it's gone out entirely. Not that I can see anything through this rain anyway. The others lie on the ground, sleeping fitfully. My jacket keeps the worst of the rain off Charlize, but she's never had to sleep on the ground before, and she tosses and groans. Filbert sleeps on his back, hands at his sides, facing the weeping sky like a dead person.

    *

    My longsword slid in so easily. The practiced move, the step, the thrust, the slight resistance as muscle and tendon parted before the blade; everything was perfect. Except this was no monster, no sorcerer. This was a man subordinate to me, who trusted me with his life on the field of battle. But he'd caught up with Nim as the four of us held our false-but-true battle, and went for a killing blow from behind, and before I knew it, the blade was gliding into the soft spot under his arm, behind the breastplate.

    The dead man slid off my sword as Nim, the other guards, and I stood frozen in shock. I unfroze first, and as the other guards began to shout, my blade swung again. I felt the impacts, not enough to stop the steel. Their bodies crumpled; human blood sprayed across my arms; heads rolled further down the alley with the words "Help, traitor!" frozen on their lips.

    Filbert had arrived just then, his timing as unbelievable as ever. I cut him off before he had a chance to speak. "Emmanuel's got Namia chained and more guards will be on the way. We need to get out of here."

    Charging down the alley, I had run away from what I'd done as much as toward Namia. The three of us poured out onto the street. With no other guards in sight and me covered in blood, Emmanuel guessed what we'd done, and I knew better than to lie to him anyway. Grimly, he'd drawn his sword, at which Charlieze had broken cover and run across the street.

    "Get out of here, Charlize," Emmanuel had said. His eyes burned me. "I don't want you to see this."

    Charlize laid her hand on the paladin's sword arm, and those burning eyes left mine for a moment. "Just let them go, Emmanuel. There has been enough blood today."

    "Lieza, they are traitors to the One God and to this country. I will take them alive if they allow me, but they must be tried before the Council."

    "Emmanuel..." she removed her hand, moved to Namia, cast a mumbled incantation, and struck the manacles with the back of her knife. The shackles splintered and fell to the dirt. "Let us leave."

    I will never forget the look on the paladin's face. Shock and disappointment quickly gave way to grief at his sister's betrayal. "I am sworn to uphold the laws of the One, Charlize. Whether that means jailing my own family or not."

    I'd sheathed my sword--even if I could have someday forgiven myself, Charlize would hate me forever if I killed her brother. So Filbert, Nim and I beat him unconscious with our bare hands while his sister watched with faraway eyes. Then we ran.


    Bonus points for naming Claaus's level 1 feats

    More bonus points for critiques, and I'm sorry it ended up being kind of long.
    Last edited by Dr Bwaa; 2011-12-07 at 09:26 PM.
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  7. - Top - End - #547
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    Quote Originally Posted by big teej View Post
    .....
    why do I have a sudden desire to pull a Bowser and run off with the princess while the heroes are distracted?
    Because I successfully manifested Death Urge against you.


    Quote Originally Posted by Chilingsworth View Post
    Wow! Not only was that awesome, I think I actually kinda understand Archeron now. If all the "intermediate" outer planes got that kind of treatment, I doubt there would be anywhere near as many critics of their utility.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord_Gareth View Post
    Because I successfully manifested Death Urge against you.
    improbable, my will save is pretty freaking high.

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    Quote Originally Posted by big teej View Post
    improbable, my will save is pretty freaking high.
    Natural ones happen, my friend.

    So do additional power points put into the manifestation ^_^


    Quote Originally Posted by Chilingsworth View Post
    Wow! Not only was that awesome, I think I actually kinda understand Archeron now. If all the "intermediate" outer planes got that kind of treatment, I doubt there would be anywhere near as many critics of their utility.
    My extended homebrew sig

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord_Gareth View Post
    Natural ones happen, my friend.

    So do additional power points put into the manifestation ^_^
    aye, but my dice love me.

    I imagine you'll exhaust yourself well before I roll a 1.


    and in the meantime, I'm escaping while you're distracted! mwuahahaha!!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Winds View Post
    Well, I looked up the item with that enchantment in the DMG, and that's how it was spelled. I think your spelling is correct for the concept in question, but they named it differently.

    Thanks for the criticism, it's exactly why I wanted to try a different style.
    Ahhh... glamour/glamer are probably both acceptable spellings, I've just never seen glamer before.

    Quote Originally Posted by lordhenry4000 View Post
    The rain picks up. That's good; it'll hide our tracks. Unless they send mages, and I've got to think they will. It's not every day a high-ranking officer betrays his soldiers, brainwashes a monk, knocks out a paladin, and flees the city with a sorceress and a druid.

    I can't feel the fire behind me; I glance around to find that it's gone out entirely. Not that I can see anything through this rain anyway. The others lie on the ground, sleeping fitfully. My jacket keeps the worst of the rain off Charlieze, but she's never had to sleep on the ground before, and she tosses and groans. Filbert sleeps on his back, hands at his sides, facing the weeping sky like a dead person.
    My only critisim, because this was really good - is this bit present tense? What I mean is, this is where the characters are currently at, and the rest of the story is Claaus remembering what happened and why they had to run? Because if so, I would do something to make it more obvious, probably just put it in italics so it's clear that this is happening now and isn't him still remembering. It's a bit of a jarring change in style and upsets the flow a bit as it is, so doing that would help the reader understand what's going on.

    Other than that, I really enjoyed it. I liked the way you didn't stop to explain who the various characters are. Claaus knows them obviously, so why should he be explaining them - I really enjoy these snippets that don't cater so much to the reader and aren't full of unnecessary exposition. It's enough to know that these people are all friends and that bad stuff has happened. We don't need all the extra details and you were good enough not to include them

    Gareth/Teej - stop fighting and review my last snippet!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady Moreta View Post
    Gareth/Teej - stop fighting and review my last snippet!
    fine

    I really liked it, but I must confess...

    my thoughts to the opening line or two were

    "ya know, this is awfully similar to that hangover scene I wrote a few pages back"


    which unfortunately gave the story a slight tone of humor to me until I found out the poor girl had been shot full of arrows.


    aside from that little quirk (which should be unique to my rather crazy mind)

    I found it very well written.... and I don't have a clue who it is.

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    Quote Originally Posted by big teej View Post
    I really liked it, but I must confess...

    my thoughts to the opening line or two were

    "ya know, this is awfully similar to that hangover scene I wrote a few pages back"


    which unfortunately gave the story a slight tone of humor to me until I found out the poor girl had been shot full of arrows.
    Which I find rather amusing, so don't worry about it

    Quote Originally Posted by big teej View Post
    I found it very well written.... and I don't have a clue who it is.
    Oh good. And let me ask - the descriptions - mostly of pain, were they okay? realistic? it's hard to write that sort of pain when you've never experienced it before. I've recently been reading my Rob Thurman books and she is very good at describing nasty stuff like being shot full of arrows (actually it was only one, very well placed arrow) so I've been sort of copying her style a bit, not sure if it worked.

    And who it is will become clearer later, I have others planned for this - sort of a mini-series.

  14. - Top - End - #554
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady Moreta View Post
    Oh good. And let me ask - the descriptions - mostly of pain, were they okay? realistic? it's hard to write that sort of pain when you've never experienced it before. I've recently been reading my Rob Thurman books and she is very good at describing nasty stuff like being shot full of arrows (actually it was only one, very well placed arrow) so I've been sort of copying her style a bit, not sure if it worked.
    I think it worked overall, but there were 2 bits that stuck out to me as....
    well... "off" I guess.


    the opening lines "drums.... hammers"

    to me at least, that seemed slightly repetitive/redundant. probably due to my association with hammers and smashing things..... and the way drums are played.


    the second part was this paragraph here.

    Pain. Dull, throbbing, pulsating, sharp, searing, piercing, blazing, deep, pounding, shooting, stabbing and screaming. Always screaming. Screaming thousands of glass needles plunging into the soft skin of the throat. Screaming hundreds of fires burning tinder-dry grass. Always screaming. Screaming. Screaming. Screaming.
    having experienced intense pain before... I found this...
    well.
    far to intricate of a thought process for someone in this amount of pain.

    and.... a few of the terms evoke different ideas to me.

    dull and throbbing - this is the kinda pain I experienced after say... taking a hit to an unprotected area in football practice.

    pulsating - kinda like a bad headache

    sharp and searing - close to an exact opposite of sharp and searing. a sharp pain is your body going "hey moron! you're being murdered!" and your body instinctively shys away from it.... like burning your hand on a stove.

    sooo.....
    I guess longstory short
    my issue is the length of the paragraph.... it seems to intricate a description for someone in that amount of pain... and some of the descriptors are somewhat opposed.

    however!

    all that said, it did a wonderful job of conveying a sense of rushed panic.

    as if the speaker was tumbling over the words they were trying to say them so fast.

    which I think is great.

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    Quote Originally Posted by big teej View Post
    my issue is the length of the paragraph.... it seems to intricate a description for someone in that amount of pain... and some of the descriptors are somewhat opposed.
    Okay, that makes sense this is why I said it was hard to write, having never experienced that much pain before. The descriptors were deliberately opposed though, I was trying to make the point that she's feeling virtually every type of pain possible (whether or not she actually is isn't the point, the point is that she feels that way). I suspect, however, that it didn't work quite the way it was intended to.

    Quote Originally Posted by big teej View Post
    all that said, it did a wonderful job of conveying a sense of rushed panic.

    as if the speaker was tumbling over the words they were trying to say them so fast.

    which I think is great.
    The whole thing? or just that paragraph again?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady Moreta View Post
    Okay, that makes sense this is why I said it was hard to write, having never experienced that much pain before. The descriptors were deliberately opposed though, I was trying to make the point that she's feeling virtually every type of pain possible (whether or not she actually is isn't the point, the point is that she feels that way). I suspect, however, that it didn't work quite the way it was intended to.



    The whole thing? or just that paragraph again?
    understandably so. it's next to impossible to write things you've no experience of.


    as for the pacing, just that paragraph.

    I felt it kinda had this rise and fall pacing...

    the beginning starts out slow, as the character is not quite aware of the intensity of the pain yet.

    "ow.... body hurts..." the opening few lines have an almost lethargic and sleepy tone.

    and then we have the tumble paragraph
    "ohmygodithurtssobadpain ow ow ow ow ow makethepainstop Icanthandlethismuchpain whathashappenedto me"

    and then it feels like it kinda slows down again, the character has come to terms with the intensity, and is just trying to grit and bear it out.


    that's how it felt to me at least.....

    i wish I had half that much control over my pacing.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady Moreta View Post
    Is this bit present tense? What I mean is, this is where the characters are currently at, and the rest of the story is Claaus remembering what happened and why they had to run? Because if so, I would do something to make it more obvious, probably just put it in italics so it's clear that this is happening now and isn't him still remembering. It's a bit of a jarring change in style and upsets the flow a bit as it is, so doing that would help the reader understand what's going on.
    Thanks! I was worrying about that, but was having a hard time telling if it was too much of a jolt. *-delimited now

    Are the rest of the tense things okay? It's really awkward to write everything in past-perfect, which is kind of where most of the action belongs*, so I just made use of it where it was the least obtrusive... Hopefully no one's too mad at me.


    *Since Claaus is basically telling the story "I killed those men" and everything else is in the "things that had happened to set that up" category.
    Last edited by Dr Bwaa; 2011-08-26 at 11:37 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by big teej View Post
    understandably so. it's next to impossible to write things you've no experience of.
    Next time I write something involving large amounts of pain, I'll send it to you first then

    Quote Originally Posted by big teej View Post
    i wish I had half that much control over my pacing.
    I wish I'd done it deliberately

    Actually, it was deliberate, just I think for different reasons. The first section was meant to be the first return to consciousness with the pain being overwhelming. The second section, it still hurts, but not as bad. The third section is when they're actually removing the arrowhead, hence the screaming and yelling and so on and so forth.

    Curious again: can you tell what the slurred words are? In the third section with the unrealistic paragraph? it's probably not that important, I'm just curious as to whether you can figure out what the words actually are.

    edit: lordhenry - no the rest of it works perfectly. I think that's possibly why the jump was so obvious - the rest of the tense worked really well, it was quite clear what was going on and the flow of the story fit really well. That's why it was jarring when it suddenly changed with no warning. Another way to do it is to put line breaks, like I did in my Pain above. Something like a few ~*~*~*~*~ in between to delineate that this is different now.
    Last edited by Lady Moreta; 2011-08-26 at 11:43 PM.

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    Default Re: D&D Snippets

    Quote Originally Posted by Lady Moreta View Post
    Next time I write something involving large amounts of pain, I'll send it to you first then



    I wish I'd done it deliberately

    Actually, it was deliberate, just I think for different reasons. The first section was meant to be the first return to consciousness with the pain being overwhelming. The second section, it still hurts, but not as bad. The third section is when they're actually removing the arrowhead, hence the screaming and yelling and so on and so forth.

    Curious again: can you tell what the slurred words are? In the third section with the unrealistic paragraph? it's probably not that important, I'm just curious as to whether you can figure out what the words actually are.

    edit: lordhenry - no the rest of it works perfectly. I think that's possibly why the jump was so obvious - the rest of the tense worked really well, it was quite clear what was going on and the flow of the story fit really well. That's why it was jarring when it suddenly changed with no warning. Another way to do it is to put line breaks, like I did in my Pain above. Something like a few ~*~*~*~*~ in between to delineate that this is different now.
    to be fair.... the vast majority of my injuries have been due to blunt force trauma and/or not thaaaat major.... so I may not be THAT big a help. but I'm always willing to try.

    I know the feeling, back when I was putting stuff up regularly a comment that was made repeatedly was how my characters have "a dry sense of humor"

    which I typically wasn't aiming for, and I simply attributed it to being such an engrained feature of my personality as to be inescapable to a degree.

    and I'm not quite sure what you're asking about the slur...

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    Quote Originally Posted by big teej View Post
    to be fair.... the vast majority of my injuries have been due to blunt force trauma and/or not thaaaat major.... so I may not be THAT big a help. but I'm always willing to try.
    That's more than I've experienced

    Quote Originally Posted by big teej View Post
    and I'm not quite sure what you're asking about the slur...
    Can you tell what the characters are saying?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady Moreta View Post
    That's more than I've experienced



    Can you tell what the characters are saying?

    true enough.

    oh... that slur XD (I thought you were talking about the pain stuff)

    once I realized the speech was slurred and not some alien tongue I could understand it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by big teej View Post
    once I realized the speech was slurred and not some alien tongue I could understand it.
    Well that's something I guess

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady Moreta View Post
    Well that's something I guess
    yea, I honestly don't have a clue why my mind initially interpreted it as "alien language"


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    Two snippets from Charlize's perspective.

    Blowing Off Steam
    or: Why Is It Always A Swamp?
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    My boots are ruined, not that that's a rare thing these days. We've been sloshing through stagnant, waist-deep water for the last hour, since we lost the boat. Claaus keeps offering to carry me, like I'd submit myself to that indignity. We're enough of a spectacle as it is, thank you very much. At least Nim's having fun in that ghillie suit he took off one of the Lizardfolk, thrashing about "subtly".

    Namia's talking to me, asking if I'm all right or something. I guess I've been acting weird since we found the big obelisk. I felt drawn to it somehow, and it's not like that's the only weird thing going on.

    I mutter an "I'm fine, really" to Namia and pull my glove down a little to inspect my arm, suppressing a grimace. I think it's spread even more; the shimmering silver patches reach almost halfway to my elbow now. I hate to think how my hands look.

    "Hey! There's the city!" Nim's excited yell feels impossibly loud in this oppressive place. It's not even a city. Barely even a town. Really it's just an outpost; the only inhabitants are the lackeys sent here to search the swamp for rare spell components in flat-bottomed skiffs, the crews of said boats, and the guards the crewmen hire. And now us, apparently.

    There's a sort of dock reaching out over the water--the whole place is basically a huge raft. As we pull ourselves onto dry "land" I see a welcoming committee approaching, weapons drawn. I blow a Prestidigitation to make myself look a little more presentable and take a step forward.

    "I am in search of several rare components. My companions and I have had a miserable journey here, as you can see. Kindly direct us to a place where we may eat and clean up, so that we may go out while there is still light." There's a beat. "Now, if you please."

    "My Lady..." begins the ugliest of the five, "I do not wish to insult y-thee, but by what name dost thou... goest? There be criminals about, and we've orders, for Fordin here recognized thour..." He trails off, thank heavens.

    "You know who I am, then?" I address this to Fordin, who nods. "You know what I am capable of?" He nods again, gulps. Good. I take another step forward; glace to see that no one's watching this encounter--convenient. "Then let me by, just like any other Mage; I won't be long."

    I can see the protest coming. The simpering, sniveling whine of underlings with no instinct for self-preservation. "M-My Lady, I must most respectfully d--"

    "You misunderstand. You cannot keep me out." My hands go through the simple motions, and I hiss a few short syllables as I bring my palms up. The fire streams forth; the guards crumple without a word; without a scream. "And your grammar is awful."


    Enough is Enough
    or: Why Are We Still Here?
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    I hated this swamp last time we had to come here, and it's so much worse now. And it's going to keep getting worse until Claaus is recognized as the true Aegis, and we go back and purge the Mithil of its corrupted power core. You'd think trolls, hags, and a freaking dragon would have been enough. Yeah, a dragon, like in storybooks. Except real, and huge, and completely immune to every spell I know as far as I could tell. I must admit, Claaus and Filbert did a great job taking it down.

    At least the ride back to town has been uneventful, wyvern attack notwithstanding. Most of Aubretia's crew is still alive, which is honestly shocking. There's one guy that fell in the water just for a second, and Filbert says he might make it--I guess the corruption might not be as deadly as people think. Maybe it's already a little better after all.

    We're pulling into port, and something's wrong. The Mayor is here, with the heads of all three houses and what must be every guard in the whole place. While we were out, Claaus's cover as "Falca McDougal" had obviously been blown somehow, and the rest of us along with it as usual. Claaus's earnestness is endearing, but I do wish he'd keep his mouth shut in public.

    "Charlize Stamaya, I am placing you and your associates under arrest for high treason! Your executions will take place immediately. Guards, seize them!" The man's got nerve, that's for sure.

    As the guards make to start boarding us, I stand up with all the haughtiness I can muster, which is an awful lot. I snap my fingers and feel the comforting hum that means I can't miss. So when I point at the Mayor and a thin green line sparks toward him, he turns to dust right there in the street.

    "This town is no longer fit to sustain human life," I declare into the shocked silence. "As your new leader, I am ordering a complete evacuation to the grasslands outside the forest, where Aubretia will assume the role of Mayor. You will settle the land at least ten miles from this forest; you will not drink any water from this region; you will not eat any more humans or other sentient beings. You nobles will not attempt to wield any sort of political power, or you will join Nathaniel here blowing in the wind. There are enough boats for everyone. We leave in one hour."
    Last edited by Dr Bwaa; 2011-12-07 at 09:27 PM.
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    Wow... Charlieze is scary I'm going to say you've either gotten the hang of this style of writing really quickly, or you're more comfortable writing from her perspective because these are considerably better than the ones you've done before. I'm impressed

    I loved the 'and your grammar is terrible' line. Priceless

    Quote Originally Posted by lordhenry4000 View Post
    The Mayor is here, with the heads of all three houses and what must be every guard in the whole place. While we were out, word had obviously gotten to the higher-ups that "Falca McDougal" was in fact Claaus O'Neal. His earnestness is endearing, but I do wish he'd keep his mouth shut in public.
    Only problem is the last sentence here, I'm not sure who 'he' is. Is it the mayor or is it Claaus? Having said that, this is something I struggle with myself, so I'm not really sure how to make it clearer.

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    Thanks! These snippets were much easier to write, for whatever reason, despite Charlieze not being my character. I'm glad she came off as scary as she is

    Quote Originally Posted by Lady Moreta
    Only problem is the last sentence here, I'm not sure who 'he' is. Is it the mayor or is it Claaus?
    Yeah, I know; I had a hard time figuring out a smooth way to make it obvious she's talking about Claaus (edited now; clarity over cleanliness). It's actually a reference to what had become, by that point in the campaign, a running joke--Claaus has pretty low Wis, and had a tendency to declare "I'm Claaus O'Neal!" whenever asked his name, despite our status as fugitives. He's gotten much better about it now, though

    Coming up next: A couple more snippets from the early days of the Wanderers, hopefully without being a double-post
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    Oh well, here goes.

    Obvious Trap is Obvious
    or: We Should Probably Be Traveling By Night
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    The worst thing about obvious traps is that you feel stupid when you go to deal with them. There’s really no other reason a cart gets upended across the road. When Squinton stops ahead of us, growling low in his throat, that confirms it. Except it probably isn’t a lion upsetting him this time. I can’t decide if that’s a comfort.

    I glance around at the five of us. We’re all wearing the rough gray cloaks of pilgrims, but the shape of Charlize’s face, the redness of her lips, the white of her skin make her aristocracy plain to see. We won’t fool anyone up close.

    Glaring into the tall grass on either side of the road to no avail, I mutter to the others “Stay here and be ready for a fight. Filbert, come with me to right the cart.” Filbert nods, and the two of us approach the cart as casually as we can manage. I take a look back and glimpse Nim slipping off the road into the tall grass, disappearing instantly. The girls are watching us anxiously.

    The cart’s in perfect shape; both wheels seem fine; the shafts look made for a single pony—neither are broken. Definitely a trap. I meet Filbert’s eyes and see that he agrees with me. “On three, then?”

    “One, two, three!” We lift the cart easily between us and turn it around about halfway before the yelling begins. Two men in front, one on either side, and two more behind us, by the girls. Three knives, two swords, and a wood axe. As one, Filbert and I heave the cart at the bandits in front of us, knocking them back a few steps. Then we turn to the rest.

    A dagger opens up the front of my tunic, revealing the breastplate underneath, before I get my sword out. Then another dagger buries itself in my assailant’s throat, and his eyes go wide as he slumps to the ground.

    “Back!” I roar, sword in hand now, and Filbert grazes under a huge axe swing to join me in rushing back to the others. Charlize is trying to cast a spell of some kind, but keeps having to dodge broad sweeps of a rusty sword that comes closer with every swing. She looks worried. Namia’s fending off her attacker quite well with just a staff of wood, while Squinton, growling, is rewarded in his search for flesh. His striped head shakes viciously as his teeth tear into the man’s ankle.

    Coming up behind the brute attacking Charlize, I put every ounce of my strength into a great, cleaving strike. It’s poor form and unprofessional, but it takes his head clean off. I turn quickly, in time to see Namia’s attacker, too, drop with a dagger in his gut.

    The remaining three fall on us in heedless, screaming fury. I coolly slide my blade up into a soft spot behind studded leather, puncturing lungs and heart. Just like the first man I killed.

    Filbert delivers a terrific kick to another man’s face, knocking him out cold, and Charlize finally gets a spell off from behind me, loosing a searing red bolt that singes the hairs on my sword arm as it passes. The target of her spell is not so lucky; the fire burns a bloody hole straight through his chest. The smell reminds me of the public sorcerer burnings I attended—enjoyed!—not so long ago.

    As the last man falls, Nim appears on the road again. He’s getting good at that. “Hey, at least we’ve got a cart now, right? We can stop carrying all this lion meat in backpacks!” He sounds cheery enough, but I see how he looks at the bodies. He’s no more okay than the rest of us.



    On the Road
    or: But It's Hard to Sleep in the Daytime
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    We’re camped near a creek today; it’s a little risky but we pulled far off the road and in the opposite direction from the little stand of trees. I don’t think we’ll be bothered. The stream’s a relief; we’re running low on fresh water, and I’ve always liked the sound anyway. It also might give me an opportunity.

    The stream is tiny, but Filbert and I follow it downstream a little ways and find a stand of sturdy reeds. Filbert manages to catch a big trout by hand—I’ve always wondered if that’s the kind of training monks get over in Joseph’s Gap—and I gather a big bundle of long reeds. When we get back to camp, I show them to Nim with a smile. “What do you think? Arrows?”

    “Awesome!” yells Nim, jumping up from his conversation with Namia. “The bow’s almost ready, too, don’t you think?”

    “We’ll see, but I expect it needs another day. Truth be told, Filbert found something better than I did,” I admit, and Filbert tosses his catch onto the cart in the middle of camp. “An alternative to rotting lion meat!”

    “Oh!” exclaims Namia, and even Charlize sits up from where she’s trying to sleep to have a look.

    “We’ll cook it up for breakfast this evening,” I say. “You all should get some sleep. We should move out as soon as it’s dark.”

    Namia gives me a surprisingly stern look. “You should get some sleep yourself, Claaus.”

    “Sleep… avoids me recently. I’ll get a few hours; don’t worry. Nim, let’s work on these arrows, since I can see you’re not going to sleep until we do. But you’re not riding in the cart no matter how little rest you get; keep it in mind.”

    I lead him a short distance away, and we sit down in the soft grass. I pull out a knife, and he does the same. I pass him a few reeds, then pick one up myself and get to work. We sit in silence. Nim’s is the silence of concentration; mine is that of reflection: on home; on family; on the men I’ve killed. But sooner than I expected, my thoughts melt away. I find myself simply making arrows with a close friend on a beautiful autumn day, listening to the burbling creek, the scraping knives, and the singing of insects all around.
    Last edited by Dr Bwaa; 2011-12-07 at 09:28 PM.
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    How Lelk Found a God

    Ok, here is how I remember this:

    Lelk (elf rogue), Miley (elf ranger), Al (half-elf paladin) and who was the fourth this session? Papaun? ya Papaun (which from here on out was nicknamed "Paper") got back from the previous quest of killing the giant worm.
    Papaun was some barbarian that wanted the rest of the party to get to some battle so that they could help by DM order, so yea we decided to go do that.

    Problem is, we decided to make some stops along the way.....but first some info: Al since he was away last session, got some fireball wand cause the DM said so for some reason. don't know why.

    First stop was Al's mothers house.
    Al basically goes in, quickly goes past his mother followed by us. He basically then storms into his room and opens this thick chest with nothing inside, because in Al's backstory he already took everything from it. Because I thought we might make good use out of a good chest, I suggested that we make into a shield, and therefore Al basically got out his tools, took the chest apart and made it into a tower shield which he gave to Lelk.
    Al then decides to I dunno, help around the house or something, get rid of pests or fix the roof I dunno, but basically he gets a ladder, climbs up it, removes a ceiling board to find a rat.
    Not just a ordinary rat mind you, a Dire Rat.
    What is the first thing Al decides to do to it?

    A: Punch it/pull out his weapon and kill it?
    B: scream and fall off the ladder?
    C: ask one of the party members to help kill this rat?

    or

    D: Pull out his wand of fireball, point it at the Dire Rat, then blast the dang thing at point blank range, blasting it to smithereens along with half the house, injuring Lelk by putting him down to single digit hp, thus making Miley start throwing stuff at Al for being an idiot?

    Go on, I'll give you four guesses, first three don't count.

    After that, Lelk is lying on the ground from the explosion, singing about how Al is an idiot. Miley throws something at Lelk too, because apparently his singing his annoying.
    Papaun just looks at all this and is speechless.

    Soon we get going. Well most of us get going, me Papaun and Miley get going. Al stays behind to fix his mothers house.
    So we trudge along for hours while Al fixes his house- he doesn't do a very good job of it- until we get attacked by Mites.
    Y'know the things we faced last session but, not as much of them, just enough to be a speedbump for three PC easy right?
    What'd you expect to happen:
    The PCs defeat the monsters easily then Al shows up and we joke about how he missed a battle due to his stupidity.

    What really happened:
    Lelk soon got reduced down to 1 hp and hid in a bush, he unexpectedly finds a corpse in the bush which kinda freaks him out, but he can't loot it cause rustling the bush would alert the mites.
    Miley soon gets reduced down to negatives.
    Papaun soon becomes the last man standing against one or two Mites.
    Lelk is basically frozen in fear, between going out and giving first aid to Miley to heal her, and staying in the bush where its safe.
    Al still isn't here.
    Thats the situation that it devolved into.

    Luckily the Mites were soon defeated by Papaun, but Miley died and we had to go back to Lelk's town to get Miley resurrected. Along the way, we found people going the other way for some reason, we didn't really pay attention.
    We rested up after resurrecting Miley

    However, Al by now had gone somewhere completely different. I can't remember what exactly he did, but there was something involving some other town, and something about dried up something, or building some drafty thing....I dunno he was doing something completely unrelated and didn't do it well, he just sucked at it.

    However we soon met up again going towards a place that will take us to the place where we needed to ambush barbarians or whatever......
    turns out we arrive at the Field of Holes...where we came from....basically? we gone in a complete circle. or maybe it was a different field of holes I dunno.

    So thinking on it, I reason that the holes must lead somewhere like, some sort of route under the mountains to the ambush place. this was mostly because there was a breeze coming from said hole.
    Lelk jumps into the hole, the party follows and we start getting lost down there, I try putting an L beside forks in paths to show that I had been there before, but I end up going a circle- or triangle depending on your point of view- as I get to a fork with a L already on it. I carve an E beside it, then continue on my way down a different path.

    The others decide to go up the hole then try a different hole, quickly finding a path that leads to these ruins.
    the explore the ruins and then quickly find these....trap-whatever things they disarm to get something valuable or something I forgot. Then Miley got her sword stuck in something or other....then it was pulled out....

    then was something about Al using his dang wand of fireballs to blast through a wall, it worked....

    meanwhile I through a path, evading traps....until I come to a part where the cave collapses behind me, trapping me.
    now here is where weird stuff starts happening.
    The Dm describes a big door in front of me and a lever right beside it. I keep looking. He then describes a hole in some other wall. I look a third time and found that there was ....something...in the corner.

    First I like was scared, cause the last time there as "something" in the corner of someplace underground, it was a gorgon that petrified Lelk
    eventually I decide to over to the hole in the wall and reach inside, but Al's player suggests that it might be an arm-trap so I poke my staff in there instead.
    All I hear is a "click"
    I then decide to go over to the door, and pull the lever.
    The door falls away from me, thus revealing the next room of the ruins.

    Now here is where the DM reveals that that room I just described? I wasn't supposed to survive, if I hadn't poked my staff into the hole, the door would've fallen inwards and squashed Lelk flat.
    First I check the room beyond, then I decide to go back and check out the ....something.... in the corner by poking it with my staff. it gets caught in the something. it is soon revealed by further inspection that......

    the something was a dust bunny. 0_o

    I quickly pull out my staff and go to the next door.

    Meanwhile the rest of the part is busy....doing something else. I think Papaun and Miley goes down one path, while Al starts going down another while throwing rocks in front of him to make sure something wasn't or something.
    eventually one of those rocks clatters to the ground near me, which meant Al was getting near me. I go to investigate, say "hi" to Al, then go back to the door.

    I start picking the lock of the next door and succeed. Then I try to pull it open and find it shut.
    The DM explains to me that the second door was already unlocked and that I had locked it, cue me being frustrated and started unlocking it.

    Meanwhile Papaun and Miley were busy fighting spiders for some reason.

    Al decided to blow down some other door, which I think led to Papaun and Miley.

    Then I finally open the door and a great big voice roared out
    "WHO DARES DISTURB ME!?"
    Lelk's reply:
    "Lelk! Hi, whats your name?" :D
    I make a Diplomacy roll
    Natural 20.

    The DM informs me that I had successfully, in one line, walked in on the God of Thievery after trashing all his traps to his secret base and was friendly enough not to instantly be lightning-bolted to death. if I had gotten anything lower, Lelk would be dead.
    Guess what? Now that Lelk knows where the God of Thievery's secret base is, he can use it as blackmail material to get info on a path to get to the battle where they need to go.

    and that is where the session ended.
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    I know I owe reviews, but honestly life is kicking my candy ass and I can't muster the energy to give a coherent critique at the moment. Or deliver my promised snippet. So I brought you this instead, fresh from the Changeling game I'm running:

    Complicated
    Or: Some Vows Are Made to be Broken
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    There were six of us on the road that night - Prima, Secundus, Tertius, Quartus, Quintus, and me, poor little Amy. I'm not, strictly speaking, part of the club - I'm Secundus' apprentice, fosterling and assistant. There's worse games I could be sitting down to play, and she really is nice, so I'm not about to complain. The freeway was quiet that night, and the only lights we needed came from the headlights on the bikes and Tertius, his lantern-flames guttering in the wind, leaking from his eyes and hair in great licking gouts. We road separately, taking up all four lanes because, hell, why not? Every now and then Prima would surge forward to ride beside Secundus for a little while. The two of them were an odd couple - the shy beauty made all of black-and-white line art and the mountain nymph with the lilies in her hair.

    Quartus slowed his bike down to ride beside me, flashing me a dirty grin. Quartus was like that - small and always dirty, hard to notice despite the crown of stars that circled his brow and the bastard sword slung over his back. I'd thought he and Quintus were going to be a thing for awhile, but I still had scars from when I'd asked her about it, so I guess not. The girl sharpened her fingertips, a feat made possible by the total lack of flesh on her arms from the elbow down. They hurt like a bitch.

    It was a clear, beautiful Summer night and the sickle moon was high in the sky.

    Then we heard the hooves.

    From the stampeding sound of them I was sure the Wild Hunt - no, the entire Host of a Thousand Princes - had to be behind us, but there was only one rider. A tall thing, made all of bones and silk, rode on a black charger that frothed foam and flames from its muzzle. The rider had a dark swallowtail coat and a bright steel broadsword, but no head, and the pounding of his steed shattered the concrete at every step. Before we even knew what was happening, he gained on us and smashed his blade downward at me. The steel blurred as it moved and just as my mind was starting to register that I was about to die, Quartus yanked me off and onto the saddle of his ride, gunning the engine.

    My gas tank exploded, lighting up the night with bright orange flames and permitting the others to see our hunter.

    Tertius was the first to react, turning in his seat to call upon the wrath of high Summer. A lance of light stabbed out from his eyes, blasting towards the rider, but the headless horseman clove through it with a savage blow of his blade, parting the beam around his body.

    "Obey!" it commanded in a voice that was both there and not there, like a slither in my mind. In front of us, a jagged chunk of road rose up suddenly, and Quartus almost collided into it, only barely swerving aside to save our lives. Quintus leapt off of her bike as a spike intercepted her, hanging in the air for a brief moment before Prima swerved to catch her. We gunned the engines to get away from the rider, weaving and dodging spikes of asphalt and concrete that moved to destroy us.

    And then suddenly he was in front of us, riding us down. Bright steel flashed and Tertius ducked under a scything blow that would have taken his head. Instead the blade crashed into his vehicle, sending it and its rider into the air trailing gasoline. The horseman swung at Quintus, only to meet a wall of shimmering moonlight that made sparks fly. The gasoline lit, igniting a trail of flame after the motorcycle.

    Tertius hung in the air like a flaming star for a brief moment before he transformed into a living avatar of flame seconds before his bike exploded. He rode the blast, laughing like a mad thing, until he alit upon Secundus' bike and became physical once more, just as the rider was bearing down on us.

    Quartus let go of the handlebars, and it was like the whole world slowed down. I lunged for the bars, steering the bike from behind him, as his bastard sword literally leapt into his right hand. His left hand drew a flintlock pistol - Widowmaker - made all of thorns and bones, taking it from a holster on his hip. There was a loud bang and a flash of smoke as a hole appeared in the rider's coat, and his sword was parried by Quartus' own, the two meeting in a shower of sparks. Quartus rolled the momentum of the headless horseman's swing over us, and I gunned the throttle, putting more distance between us and the rider. From behind us I could hear its voice screech, "THIS ISN'T OVER, OATH-BREAKER!"

    We pulled off at the first exit ramp.

    * * *

    "What was that thing?" Secundus asked, tearing off a bit of the chicken we'd bought at Wal-Mart while Tertius stoked the campfire. All eyes were on me.

    I sighed.

    "My Keeper."


    Quote Originally Posted by Chilingsworth View Post
    Wow! Not only was that awesome, I think I actually kinda understand Archeron now. If all the "intermediate" outer planes got that kind of treatment, I doubt there would be anywhere near as many critics of their utility.
    My extended homebrew sig

  30. - Top - End - #570
    Troll in the Playground
     
    BarbarianGuy

    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Out in The Sticks
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: D&D Snippets

    the more of these snippets I read, the more I realize I really need to expand a bit in what systems I play

    I could probably list a score of game systems, but I've only ever played dnd 3.x, 1st ed. and savage worlds: necessary evil.


    that said, I find myself in a position similar to gareth.

    1) school - my schedule is much heavier this year, and I'm still trying to settle into a routine that gives me plenty of freetime.
    2) dnd - my school group has 3 dms that rotate on a weekly basis so no one DM gets burnt out and everyone gets a chance to play....
    I'm one of them, (duh) as the founder of the group
    the 2nd dm is on hiatus due to cross country season
    the 3rd dm is a teacher at another college who was recently promoted to head of his department.

    meaning this sunday will be the 3rd week ina row I've DM'd the school group, which is a bit of a new experience for me, as I haven't DM'd them back to back since my first semester.

    oh well, it's most enjoyable, and I've finally gathered the impetus to create a wiki for the campaign, and I may be starting a 2nd group.

    so maybe I'll just post links up to things that get into the wiki....

    yes....

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