[Steam] Thread XVI: The biggest in-joke in gaming

[watsyurname529]

I'll just pop in for a moment to say that I hate this update and TF2 is now ruined forever.

Read the previous few pages to see why once again, this update is not ruining TF2 forever.

It's been said at least once for every update and yet, TF2 is still going just fine.

[shadow_archmagi]

*ahem*

Spoiler

Show

To Fortress I came seeking killcount
But they’re making me work til I’m dead
The idlers have it so easy
The Djinn's putting hats on his bread
The people of GITP are Irish
But think what a hat there could be
If we could create a socialist state
That cared for the people like me:

I am the man who arranges the hats
That appear unto me at random times.
They appear and I wear them 'till dead
Til they fit on my head like block in ground.
Sometimes it seems that to idle is fine
And the hats will be formed as I sleep -
Then I see that I have misjudged it!
I should not have fudged it after all.
Can I have a scout hat please?
Why must these infernal hats tease?

I am the man who arranges the hats
That continue to spawn with random love.
Come GITPite! Let the irish unite!
A collective regime of peace and hats.
I work so hard in arranging the hats
But the tailor and hatman bleed me dry
But the irish will rise! We will not compromise
For we know that the old regime must die.
Long live Heavy, kill the spy!
We salute the sandvich and fist!

I am the man who arranges the hats
That continue to drop without love.
The metal from guns now belongs to no one
A collective stockpile of refined metal.
I have no choice in dismantling the drops
Under the crafting rule, what we get smelts.
The rule of the game is they all burn the same
And my guns must create a pyro hat.
Long live Newell! He loves you!
Sing these words, or you know what he’ll do...

I am the man who arranges the hats
That are made by the men in Steam Thread 4.
They come two weeks late and they don’t fabricate
But we’re working to Jibar’s five year plan.
I am the man who arranges the scouts
That will make all the snipers keep away
The Bombcart is capped, and Redfort is Red!
Let us point all our guns at the Dogmantra!
We shall live forever more!
We can start an offtopic war!

I am the man who arranges the posts
That are building a highly secret thread.
Hip hip hurrah for the Doc an Drolkal!
We are sending our men to public SHAFT.
I work so hard in arranging the hats
But each night I go home to my gun in tears -
What’s the point of it all, when you’re building a hat
And in front of your eyes it costs 9.95?
Pointless pay for pointless loot
This is one horn I shall not toot.

I am the man who arranges the hats!
But tomorrow I think I’ll stay in bed.
The lagspikes are harsh, I’ve been a real arse
And I’m standing in line for a heavy's toque
Maybe we had better rail
Against this man Saxton Hale

I am the man who arranges the hats
That continue to fall from up above.
The hats are not free! So much money for steam!
Tell me, why should I care for peace and love?
The hats are not free! So much money for gabe!
Tell me, why should I care for peace and love?
Peace and love, peace and love!

And now the wallets down, the Marxists frown
There’s item shops all over town
When in RedFort, well don’t despair
There’s Beanies and Kabuto’s there
The server gave us cheaters laments
And Rutskarn drank himself to death
But now that Susan’s put the boot in,
Who’ll get in our way?

So we reject free merchandise
And once again the hat will rise.
Prepare the vintage merriwhether
For we’re sending you into nether:
Get off the sacred CHHA thread
You're banned from even SHAFT
We shall arrange the hats and toil
Forever and a day.

Game over.

[xp194]

*ahem*

Spoiler

Show

To Fortress I came seeking killcount
But they’re making me work til I’m dead
The idlers have it so easy
The Djinn's putting hats on his bread
The people of GITP are Irish
But think what a hat there could be
If we could create a socialist state
That cared for the people like me:

I am the man who arranges the hats
That appear unto me at random times.
They appear and I wear them 'till dead
Til they fit on my head like block in ground.
Sometimes it seems that to idle is fine
And the hats will be formed as I sleep -
Then I see that I have misjudged it!
I should not have fudged it after all.
Can I have a scout hat please?
Why must these infernal hats tease?

I am the man who arranges the hats
That continue to spawn with random love.
Come GITPite! Let the irish unite!
A collective regime of peace and hats.
I work so hard in arranging the hats
But the tailor and hatman bleed me dry
But the irish will rise! We will not compromise
For we know that the old regime must die.
Long live Heavy, kill the spy!
We salute the sandvich and fist!

I am the man who arranges the hats
That continue to drop without love.
The metal from guns now belongs to no one
A collective stockpile of refined metal.
I have no choice in dismantling the drops
Under the crafting rule, what we get smelts.
The rule of the game is they all burn the same
And my guns must create a pyro hat.
Long live Newell! He loves you!
Sing these words, or you know what he’ll do...

I am the man who arranges the hats
That are made by the men in Steam Thread 4.
They come two weeks late and they don’t fabricate
But we’re working to Jibar’s five year plan.
I am the man who arranges the scouts
That will make all the snipers keep away
The Bombcat is capped, and Redfort is Red!
Let us point all our guns at the Dogmantra!
We shall live forever more!
We can start an offtopic war!

I am the man who arranges the posts
That are building a highly secret thread.
Hip hip hurrah for the Doc an Drolkal!
We are sending our men to public SHAFT.
I work so hard in arranging the hats
But each night I go home to my gun in tears -
What’s the point of it all, when you’re building a hat
And in front of your eyes it costs 9.95?
Pointless pay for pointless loot
This is one horn I shall not toot.

I am the man who arranges the hats!
But tomorrow I think I’ll stay in bed.
The lagspikes are harsh, I’ve been a real arse
And I’m standing in line for a heavy's toque
Maybe we had better rail
Against this man Saxton Hale

I am the man who arranges the hats
That continue to fall from up above.
The hats are not free! So much money for steam!
Tell me, why should I care for peace and love?
The hats are not free! So much money for gabe!
Tell me, why should I care for peace and love?
Peace and love, peace and love!

And now the wallets down, the Marxists frown
There’s item shops all over town
When in RedFort, well don’t despair
There’s Beanies and Kabuto’s there
The server gave us cheaters laments
And Rutskarn drank himself to death
But now that Susan’s put the boot in,
Who’ll get in our way?

So we reject free merchandise
And once again the hat will rise.
Prepare the vintage merriwhether
For we’re sending you into nether:
Get off the sacred CHHA thread
You're banned from even SHAFT
We shall arrange the hats and toil
Forever and a day.

Game over.

Beautiful...

[Etcetera]

An excellent set of lyrics.

Also, heh, bombcat.

*POOSH LEETLE CAT*

[Byrnbot08]

*ahem*

Spoiler

Show

To Fortress I came seeking killcount
But they’re making me work til I’m dead
The idlers have it so easy
The Djinn's putting hats on his bread
The people of GITP are Irish
But think what a hat there could be
If we could create a socialist state
That cared for the people like me:

I am the man who arranges the hats
That appear unto me at random times.
They appear and I wear them 'till dead
Til they fit on my head like block in ground.
Sometimes it seems that to idle is fine
And the hats will be formed as I sleep -
Then I see that I have misjudged it!
I should not have fudged it after all.
Can I have a scout hat please?
Why must these infernal hats tease?

I am the man who arranges the hats
That continue to spawn with random love.
Come GITPite! Let the irish unite!
A collective regime of peace and hats.
I work so hard in arranging the hats
But the tailor and hatman bleed me dry
But the irish will rise! We will not compromise
For we know that the old regime must die.
Long live Heavy, kill the spy!
We salute the sandvich and fist!

I am the man who arranges the hats
That continue to drop without love.
The metal from guns now belongs to no one
A collective stockpile of refined metal.
I have no choice in dismantling the drops
Under the crafting rule, what we get smelts.
The rule of the game is they all burn the same
And my guns must create a pyro hat.
Long live Newell! He loves you!
Sing these words, or you know what he’ll do...

I am the man who arranges the hats
That are made by the men in Steam Thread 4.
They come two weeks late and they don’t fabricate
But we’re working to Jibar’s five year plan.
I am the man who arranges the scouts
That will make all the snipers keep away
The Bombcat is capped, and Redfort is Red!
Let us point all our guns at the Dogmantra!
We shall live forever more!
We can start an offtopic war!

I am the man who arranges the posts
That are building a highly secret thread.
Hip hip hurrah for the Doc an Drolkal!
We are sending our men to public SHAFT.
I work so hard in arranging the hats
But each night I go home to my gun in tears -
What’s the point of it all, when you’re building a hat
And in front of your eyes it costs 9.95?
Pointless pay for pointless loot
This is one horn I shall not toot.

I am the man who arranges the hats!
But tomorrow I think I’ll stay in bed.
The lagspikes are harsh, I’ve been a real arse
And I’m standing in line for a heavy's toque
Maybe we had better rail
Against this man Saxton Hale

I am the man who arranges the hats
That continue to fall from up above.
The hats are not free! So much money for steam!
Tell me, why should I care for peace and love?
The hats are not free! So much money for gabe!
Tell me, why should I care for peace and love?
Peace and love, peace and love!

And now the wallets down, the Marxists frown
There’s item shops all over town
When in RedFort, well don’t despair
There’s Beanies and Kabuto’s there
The server gave us cheaters laments
And Rutskarn drank himself to death
But now that Susan’s put the boot in,
Who’ll get in our way?

So we reject free merchandise
And once again the hat will rise.
Prepare the vintage merriwhether
For we’re sending you into nether:
Get off the sacred CHHA thread
You're banned from even SHAFT
We shall arrange the hats and toil
Forever and a day.

Game over.

This is epic.

Correction. EPIC.

With a Capital Evocative Excitable Eee.

[shadow_archmagi]

Now we just need to get Phase (he was the musical forumite, right?) to sing it

[Djinn_in_Tonic]

Now we just need to get Phase (he was the musical forumite, right?) to sing it

A bunch of us were. Mario's a music major, I sing occasionally, and I remember others do as well.

Incidentally, what's the tune? I couldn't figure it out, but I might just be stupid at the moment.

[shadow_archmagi]

A bunch of us were. Mario's a music major, I sing occasionally, and I remember others do as well.

Incidentally, what's the tune? I couldn't figure it out, but I might just be stupid at the moment.

History of the soviet union arranged to tetris

[blackfox]

It's this.

And wait, Phuse is music person?

[KBF]

I'm not sure, but Phase can do an awesome job at singing that song. I've heard it.

[Scorpionica]

The bots have been restored for the #chocolatehammer IRC, with all entries saved from before the crash. PastryBot is waiting for eventual D&D games that might surface.

[Aron Times]

The Eternal Reward is quite interesting, having been on the receiving end of it. It lets the spy do silent backstabs; the victim doesn't make a sound, and the spy quickly disguises as him. The first time it was used against me, I suddenly found myself in spectator mode, no ragdoll or death scream, just straight to spectator.

Also, I got the new spy gun, the Letranger (sp?), as a random drop. Haven't tried it, though. -20% damage is painful, but the +15% cloak on hit could be very useful.

[Valaqil]

The first time it was used against me, I suddenly found myself in spectator mode, no ragdoll or death scream, just straight to spectator.

First time I saw it this afternoon, I watched myself approaching a Heavy, knowing he was dead. Sure enough, he died before I could say anything over mic.

[Smiling-Jack]

Best thing about the eternal reward= ability to stab engineers without sentries caring.
Worst thing= not being able to approach senties untill the first kill.

[Sleverin]

Read the previous few pages to see why once again, this update is not ruining TF2 forever.

It's been said at least once for every update and yet, TF2 is still going just fine.

I know right? I mean, usually it's more like "Oh god this is going to suck for 2 weeks, and then it's back to business as usual."

Also, potato, I would be happy to do something on Sunday around midday (for me). 12 PM my time is 8 Pm yours I believe. And since I'm up at 6 AM (yes that's everyday :O ) it would be no problem for me, although I'm sure people in other timezones will be fine with it, I mean 12 PST is 3 EST.

EDIT: Actually more like 1 PM for me, seeing as how we have a match on Sunday at 11 AM my time.

[Scuzzball]

Five pages. In three days. How? Just HOW?

[ShortOne]

Aaaagh wait what I didn't notice this before
Whyyyyyy why me why me

So far, no one's called us on it. We just have to hold out for another day...

Now, to find someone who wants the Bonk Helm, the Baker Boy, the Pyro's Beanie, or the Hatless Sniper...

I'd be interested in the Beanie. I have a Toque and a Brainslug.

*ahem*

Spoiler

Show

To Fortress I came seeking killcount
But they’re making me work til I’m dead
The idlers have it so easy
The Djinn's putting hats on his bread
The people of GITP are Irish
But think what a hat there could be
If we could create a socialist state
That cared for the people like me:

I am the man who arranges the hats
That appear unto me at random times.
They appear and I wear them 'till dead
Til they fit on my head like block in ground.
Sometimes it seems that to idle is fine
And the hats will be formed as I sleep -
Then I see that I have misjudged it!
I should not have fudged it after all.
Can I have a scout hat please?
Why must these infernal hats tease?

I am the man who arranges the hats
That continue to spawn with random love.
Come GITPite! Let the irish unite!
A collective regime of peace and hats.
I work so hard in arranging the hats
But the tailor and hatman bleed me dry
But the irish will rise! We will not compromise
For we know that the old regime must die.
Long live Heavy, kill the spy!
We salute the sandvich and fist!

I am the man who arranges the hats
That continue to drop without love.
The metal from guns now belongs to no one
A collective stockpile of refined metal.
I have no choice in dismantling the drops
Under the crafting rule, what we get smelts.
The rule of the game is they all burn the same
And my guns must create a pyro hat.
Long live Newell! He loves you!
Sing these words, or you know what he’ll do...

I am the man who arranges the hats
That are made by the men in Steam Thread 4.
They come two weeks late and they don’t fabricate
But we’re working to Jibar’s five year plan.
I am the man who arranges the scouts
That will make all the snipers keep away
The Bombcart is capped, and Redfort is Red!
Let us point all our guns at the Dogmantra!
We shall live forever more!
We can start an offtopic war!

I am the man who arranges the posts
That are building a highly secret thread.
Hip hip hurrah for the Doc an Drolkal!
We are sending our men to public SHAFT.
I work so hard in arranging the hats
But each night I go home to my gun in tears -
What’s the point of it all, when you’re building a hat
And in front of your eyes it costs 9.95?
Pointless pay for pointless loot
This is one horn I shall not toot.

I am the man who arranges the hats!
But tomorrow I think I’ll stay in bed.
The lagspikes are harsh, I’ve been a real arse
And I’m standing in line for a heavy's toque
Maybe we had better rail
Against this man Saxton Hale

I am the man who arranges the hats
That continue to fall from up above.
The hats are not free! So much money for steam!
Tell me, why should I care for peace and love?
The hats are not free! So much money for gabe!
Tell me, why should I care for peace and love?
Peace and love, peace and love!

And now the wallets down, the Marxists frown
There’s item shops all over town
When in RedFort, well don’t despair
There’s Beanies and Kabuto’s there
The server gave us cheaters laments
And Rutskarn drank himself to death
But now that Susan’s put the boot in,
Who’ll get in our way?

So we reject free merchandise
And once again the hat will rise.
Prepare the vintage merriwhether
For we’re sending you into nether:
Get off the sacred CHHA thread
You're banned from even SHAFT
We shall arrange the hats and toil
Forever and a day.

Game over.

So Mario sang this to me, and it was wonderful. Thank you, Shadow.

[Fawkes]

Read the previous few pages to see why once again, this update is not ruining TF2 forever.

It's been said at least once for every update and yet, TF2 is still going just fine.

While it certainly doesn't ruin TF2 forever, I'm not a big fan of the set bonus mechanics, especially considering you need super-rare expensive hats to activate them.

Luckily, I am terrible with my money and impulse bought the whole lot.

[KBF]

Five pages. In three days. How? Just HOW?

TF2 started up trading, gave stats that you need hats for, and started up micropayments. Do the math.

But this isn't even anything like a record.

[Sammiches]

I'd be interested in the Beanie. I have a Toque and a Brainslug.

I'd happily trade my beanie for a brainslug. No use having two of them, after all. Also, I'm obliged to attempt to one-up Djinn, so I'll throw in some scrap, too.

[shadow_archmagi]

So Mario sang this to me, and it was wonderful. Thank you, Shadow.

:D

I like when people say nice things to me

[Aron Times]

Folks, it's been three years and we've received free updates from Valve as well as the volunteers who make all these community items. Valve is a business, and they need to make money to stay afloat and make more cool stuff for us. Besides, the new usable items can be found as drops, so the only thing you really need to pay for, if you have the patience, are the hats that complete the item sets.

I'm pretty broke right now, and it would be nice to get all this stuff for free, but giving free updates indefinitely isn't good for business. And I'd hate to see Valve go under.

[Fawkes]

By the way, I have a Mining Light I'm willing to trade for pretty much any hat/misc. item.

[Celesyne]

I've got a Hound Dog or a Prussian Picklehaub that I'd part with for a cool hat or a few refined metals, or one of the new weapons, really just about anything.

[Mtg_player_zach]

I've got a Hound Dog or a Prussian Picklehaub that I'd part with for a cool hat or a few refined metals, or one of the new weapons, really just about anything.

Um, I have the new spy revolver, and I can throw in a reclaimed metal. For the picklehaub.

[Sammiches]

Folks, it's been three years and we've received free updates from Valve as well as the volunteers who make all these community items. Valve is a business, and they need to make money to stay afloat and make more cool stuff for us. Besides, the new usable items can be found as drops, so the only thing you really need to pay for, if you have the patience, are the hats that complete the item sets.

I'm pretty broke right now, and it would be nice to get all this stuff for free, but giving free updates indefinitely isn't good for business. And I'd hate to see Valve go under.

Valve is also the owner of the most successful online PC game distribution service available.
I love valve, I really do. I love their games and I love their services. But there's no way I'm ever gonna feel sorry for an international corporation's pocketbook.

The new item system is a ploy to squeeze money out of impatient fans. I'm fine with that. My problem is with giving bonuses for 'sets' which include hats, super-rare items that are really only accessible to people with a lot of dumb luck or a lot of money to spare. I mean really, my only options for getting an item which gives me a positive bonus are either waiting three months for either a random drop or enough scrap to craft it, or to pay as much money as I payed for the full game?

[Celesyne]

Um, I have the new spy revolver, and I can throw in a reclaimed metal. For the picklehaub.

you got a deal good sir, im on SHaFT right now or we can work something out later.

[watsyurname529]

Valve is also the owner of the most successful online PC game distribution service available.
I love valve, I really do. I love their games and I love their services. But there's no way I'm ever gonna feel sorry for an international corporation's pocketbook.

The new item system is a ploy to squeeze money out of impatient fans. I'm fine with that. My problem is with giving bonuses for 'sets' which include hats, super-rare items that are really only accessible to people with a lot of dumb luck or a lot of money to spare. I mean really, my only options for getting an item which gives me a positive bonus are either waiting three months for either a random drop or enough scrap to craft it, or to pay as much money as I payed for the full game?

Yeah. I will agree that the Item Set Bonuses shouldn't have happened. Or definitely with out the hat requirement. But still, I'd rather them not be there at all.

[Arbitrarity]

Hats for sets are becoming craftable, according to Robin Walker. Now, the Milkman set is still overpowered, but at least everyone can have it.

[Jibar]

By the way, I have a Mining Light I'm willing to trade for pretty much any hat/misc. item.

I want that Mining Light, but I have to decide what I'd trade for it first.