Bardic Rangers - Chapter 1 - All Along the Watchtower

[Nerd-o-rama]

Somewhere far away from here...

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The air in the superheated cavern popped with psionic energies as the Mind Flayer retainer teleported into his mistress's chambers. "Your Imperial Highness, there's a matter that needs your attention."

A horrible crunching noise, followed by a slightly less horrible rumbling and scraping, can be heard from deep below. "What's so important, Xyzzy?" a booming, gnashing voice echoes. Looking unperturbed, the Illithid stands in whatever way it is Illithids normally stand and delivers his information.

"Another band of themed heroes is causing trouble for Uenishtalksarian's minions in the far north."

"Ugh, is it those Samurai ones?"

"No, mistress, those died in about three days. Saban wouldn't let them use the Rokugan version of their abilities. This one appears to be a literal band. You know, bards and troubadours."

A rumbling like an earthquake can be heard, causing ripples in the magma within the cavern. "Bards? Pathetic. Uenishtalksarian can take care of them himself. Teleport him something annoying and made of rock if he really is that much of a failure."

Xyzzy's face-tentacles ripple. A sigh? "As you command, mistress..."

Meanwhile, here and now,

The Dukedom of Sterling

In the far north of the land, on the semi-frozen tundra that nonetheless forms a breadbasket of potatoes, tubers, wheat, and vodka, lie the scattered and free-spirited villages of the Dukedom of Sterling. The duke and duchess of the land, noble warriors both who claim descent from the noble but now extinct silver dragons that once populated the area and the mountains to the north (hence the name, obviously), sent out a call far and wide for heroes to assist them in their hour of need. Though Sterling's people number many skilled warriors, that doesn't do much against marauding bands of monsters that pop out of thin air, seemingly at random.

Thusly, our noble heroes find themselves arriving in a small village (almost empty, just large enough for a second bar) in Sterling, en route to the capital. Now, let us--

"Excuse me."

Hm? Yes, my good peasant?

"Who are you an' who the bloody 'ellfire are you talking to?"

I'm the narrator!

"Of what?"

Of this story.

"Then 'ow come I can see you?" asked the increasingly annoying plebeian extra.

Because verum credo oculus

Alright, now I'm properly invisible. On with the show!

"Bloody looney..."

OOC

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You all gather in a small farming village! And no, you can't see or hear the narrator, it's just funny to have a game about bards narrated by a bard within the world. Anyway, to set this up without taking forever, your band has been contacted by Duke Marshal Sterling to come and investigate why monsters keep popping up from nowhere and harassing his subjects. You are currently en route to his manor, which is some days away. It's getting on toward dusk, and this sleepy little town is the nearest place to stop for the night anywhere resembling civilization. Ask for any further details in the OOC thread, thanks.

[sciencepanda]

Jack plants the first step into town with a dramatic thud.

"Man!" he shouts, in his standard demanding tone, "Will it ever be good to get out of the cold!"

Turning back to face the others, he speaks.

"Well team, it's a new town, and that means that there are new people who don't know of us." He whips out his guitar and strums it, giving a mad grin, "Shall we go introduce ourselves?"

[Axinian]

"Yeah!" Ayako says enthusiastically whilst smiling adorably and pointing her index finger to the sky. "Let's show 'em what we're made of!"

[Fri]

Elizabeth swishes her bangs up.

"You're as noisy as usual, Jack." She shakes her head and sighs. "Can't we enjoy this rare cold somberness first before burning another tavern? There are other mood beside hot and flaming, you know..."

[userpay]

Caden grins at his fellows enthusiasm, or lack thereof. "A quiet start then buildup?" He queries, tip tapping his drum from a low roll to a slightly louder rumble.

[RPGuru1331]

Sophia tugged one of the long white sleeves of her thick coat, the fur trim revealing her matching gloves, before moving to adjust her collar. Her long blonde hair billowing out into the winds, underneath a proper ushanka. The fur trim on the ushanka matched the violet of her coat's trim, with the inner lining of the folds more appearing to be black satin. She gave a short, airy laugh as she lazily scanned the distance for the familiar flames of a cozy inn, a gloved hand falling back to her waist.

"Silly Liza. We can hardly perform out in this weather. We wouldn't have anyone to watch, and that defeats the purpose." She gave a practiced wriggle of her hips as she stepped forward again, pressing forward to what would hopefully be a warmer building. "Let's not dawdle; I can't wait to get out of this coat."

[Axinian]

Ayako sighs. "I guess that's a good idea. I'm cold too."

[sciencepanda]

Jack gives Elizabeth a look like she's gone mad.

"Oh Lizzy, you and your jokes." He slaps her playfully on the back. "But yeah! Let's go warm ourselves, so then we can go warm the people of this town with the fire of our rock!" He raises his fist empathetically, and leads the group off towards the nearest tavern.

[Nerd-o-rama]

Approaching the tavern on the south side of the village, marked only by a sign crudely painted with grapes (despite the fact that they serve no grape wine whatsoever this far out into the northern countryside, the Phillistine yokels), our heroes come to the attention of some drably dressed peasants. In particular, a gang of three young and bored-looking men stood up from where they were lounging on the tavern steps, approaching the bards with belligerent, or possibly just constipated expressions, boots crunching across the cold, dry grass that served the side of the street in this town.

"Hey, nobs," shouts the medium-height one in the lead, assuming from the heroes' colorful and rather impractical clothes that they were foreign nobility, and therefore ripe for taunting from the independent and rather rude locals such as themselves. "Come out this way to slum, eh?" His companions, a shorter human and a tall, hairy fellow who was almost certainly a half-orc, support the question with piercing, if still rather dumb, glares.

[sciencepanda]

"Greetings, friends!" shouts Jack, his perfect teeth spread in a wide grin as he offers his hand to shake. "My pals and I are new in town, but I'm sure we'll make an impression soon enough. What can we call you?"

[Jeriah]

Tanna simply smirks at the local's remark. Come out here to slum? Nonsense. We're here to show you a good time.

[Fri]

Must they respond to every single villager ever? At most they might be recurring 'those two guys.' But dunno, responding to every single villager ever might even be in the bard chapter or something. Jack would know that.

Needless to say, all of those are only said inside Elizabeth's head. "Do they even have leitmotif?" Is the only words said at the couple of seconds when elizabeth actually opens her mouth.

[sciencepanda]

"Of course they do! Everyone has their own lietmotif, the music of their soul! It reflects out hearts and the way they react with one another. For that, is the wavelength of our true selves!"

Jack studies the duo for a moment, and thinks,

"Hmm. You two would probably sound something like this..."

He pulls out his guitar and begins to hastily strum a slow, dopey sounding tune.

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Think this, but via guitar:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jwup4ItqyNQ

Perform Check: (1d20+13)[19]

[RPGuru1331]

Sorin raised a hand to her neck, tossing her hair out. "Lizzy, Jack, don't antagonize them!" She gave a pleasant smile to the hecklers, her gloved hand to her chest, flattening her coat against herself for a moment. "Tanna's exactly right, sir. We're here to perform for you all." Sorin gave a wink, her hand tracing a line between her breasts, her coat eventually refluffing. "So can I count on you boys to come to the show?"

[userpay]

Eyes flicking between his companions and the locals Caden smirks and starts up a slow drumroll, waiting to see what will happen.

[Jeriah]

So, are we just going to stay out here in the cold all day, or are we going to go in an have some drinks?

Tanna begins to tap her foot impatiently.

[Nerd-o-rama]

The hillbillies--

"Oy!"

The locals seem impressed with Jack's impromptu noodling, and his clever choice of reference, even if these folks aren't quite the stand-ins they appear to be (those come sometime later, and will at least be important enough for me to color their dialog).

"Well, guess we can let ya play at our bar," the leader says. "'specially the cute girls. I'm Larry, by the way. This my brother Darryl, this is my other brother Darryl."

The half-orc grunts.

"Half-brother."


This masterful convergence of referencing an Appalachian woodsman stereotype while having the characters speak in an ad hoc blender of lower-class British accents and standing in a place that very much resembles northern or eastern Europe is interrupted by a popping sound in the air and a bright flash of indigo. Suddenly, where the streets were quiet and empty before, they're now filled with a crowd of armed orcs, surprisingly looking no more confused by this turn of events than orcs normally do.

The largest of them, a huge orc covered in silver-white hair and unhealthy-looking patches of white scales, raises an enormous axe and shouts in Orc. If anyone understands said language, it amounts to the Orcish expression for "smash and grab".

The townsfolk who happen to be sitting outside immediately run for cover in the nearest building, with the three tavern toughs who accosted the group apparently frozen in fear.

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Initiative time, everybody.

Enemies:

8 Orc Warriors (Initiative 10)
1 Half-White Dragon Orc Barbarian (Initiative 4)

The Orcs are gathered in a loose squad in the middle of the street, with their boss at the center. If you get an initiative higher than 10, go ahead and post your actions.

[userpay]

(well lets hope for a higher than 10 so I won't hold up combat while not having internet access from now till Sunday night.)
init
(1d20+2)[22]

[userpay]

Caden's drumming pauses for a moment, eying the townsfolk flight. "Well this doesn't look good now does it? Me thinks someone needs to learn a lesson about scaring the audiences." He grins. "Though then again they themselves have become an audience." Round and round his hands go weaving potent symbols upon the air and words unto the air with a slight beat to them. Now a small crackling pea soars to the orcs with a *ba-da-ch* following shortly behind.

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Fireballen those things, but with energy substitution lightning so effectively its Scintillating Sphere from Spell Compendium lol. Question though, if a metamagic doesn't increase the level of a spell does it still take a full round for those who cast spontaneously?
Place the boom where it would catch most of them, preferably with the leader as well.
dc 16 for the save
(4d6)[10]

[Fri]

Elizabeth groans. "Already? We barely appear"

(1d20+3)[20] initiative.

"Rockin time?"

They could easily just go weapon hot on these orcs, sword and spell blazing. But it's not how the rangers works.

Elizabeth pulls a pair of darkened lens from her pocket and coolly puts it on her face.

"Rockin time. "

[sciencepanda]

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Wow, I'm gone for a day and already we're engaged in battle? Goodness.

Anyway, Initiative: (1d20+2)[21]

"Orcs!" Shouts Jack, rather loudly, "I do not know where you come from, but it is clear that you mean to harm the kind people of this town! This I will not abide by! For whenever evil may approach, we stand guard, a beacon of light in the darkness! And wherever those may seek to harm innocents, they may taste my blade! That is my vow. That is all our vow!"

"For we are..."

"The Bards of Hope!"

Jack pulls out his sword, and a large explosion spontaneously manifests from behind him, singeing the eyebrows of some onlookers.

[Fri]

"Chord diminished seventh on C-Major at the conductor." Does what she said have any meaning? Or are there anyone who understand what she said beside herself? Who knows. But she pulls a longbow and aims coolly at the half orc.

(readying attack to unleash it when anyone hit the half orc)

[Jeriah]

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Initiative (1d20)[2]

Of course...

[RPGuru1331]

"That's wonderful of you, boys!" squeed Sorin, clapping her hands twice together before dashing forward to give Larry a big hug, her sizable chest pressed against him. "We'd love to play for you!"

When the Orcs arrived, she immediately jumps off of the bartender hick and the invaders. She reaches behind her back, taking hold of the air before pulling her bejeweled staff from what appears to be thin air, the glamour disguising it breaking as soon as it's drawn. "Even in this small town, evil lurks! But we won't stand for it, will we? In the name of Love, Music, and Beauty, I'll punish you!"


The Ruby embedded in the indigo staff began to glow as Sorin began chanting a spell, holding the last line of the incantation to lash out at whoever was first to strike out at the innocent (Or at least, the ordinary).

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Now for the Init! [roll]1d20+[/roll]. Whoever goes first for the Orks gets 3 magic missiles to the face. Will take a real action next turn.

[sciencepanda]

"Know this! This blade of mine represents my heart, filled with the fire of my courage! And it is this that will be your downfall!"

With flourish, Jack flips his way toward the largest orc, stabbing with his sword.

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Attack: (1d20+10)[14]
Damage: (1d8+4)[12] + 10 from Battle Leader's Charge Maneuver. (Does not provoke an Attack of Opportunity.)

[Nerd-o-rama]

Caden's attack gets the orcs' immediate attention, and--

Oh, I'm terribly sorry, I seem to have misplaced my notes for this section of the story. I'll look for them in a moment. At any rate, something quite impressive happened, followed by a heroic charge by the Red Bard, Jack Falcon, dashing gallantly forward and locking his blade with the orcs' hideous leader, who scarcely turned aside his attack.

Meanwhile, the beautiful sisters of the team, Elizabeth and Sorin, launch a coordinated assault on an orc that was raising its vicious axe to assault those pub layabouts from earlier. Missiles of arcane force slam into the barbarian, knocking it back on its heels so that Elizabeth's arrow finds its heart, slaying it instantly.

The orcs, however, move to counterattack and...hm...I'd better go find out what it was Caden's attack did before I continue the story. Hold, please!

[Fri]

"Who are you and why are you attacking this place?" Elizabeth calmly says as she nocks another arrow. "We barely got here!"

[Nerd-o-rama]

Ah, there it is. Caden's attack scorches four of the orcs, getting their immediate attention as they counterattack! Their attempts to interrupt his spell miss, though two of their follow-up regular attacks find their mark (Caden takes 7 and 9 damage for a total of 16).

The remainder of the orcs rush forward to match the Bards, brandishing weapons - they don't respond to Elizabeth's question, probably not speaking common in the first place. Sorin, Tanna, and Ayako each find themselves attacked by a ravening, blood-and-loot-lust-filled orc attacking them with an axe. Their undisciplined attacks are easy to evade save for one lucky strike at Tanna (9 damage). Be careful, girls!

The leader, meanwhile, faces down Jack with a smirk. Suddenly, claws sweep forward, slashing through the air at Jack in a flurry of danger! The red Bard can agilely sidestep most of the harsh attack, including the snapping of bizarrely reptilian jaws, though one lucky claw extends and catches him across the chest (4 damage).

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One orc down, four injured, three upright, boss uninjured. Everyone is in melee unless they take a step to get out of it. Everyone can just go ahead and take a turn now, since I went ahead and posted the boss's action too.