Results 1 to 10 of 10
  1. - Top - End - #1
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    Wolfer's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Akureyri, Iceland
    Gender
    Male

    Default Razorwing Dragon [3.5 Monster PEACH]

    So yeah, exposition time, I was starting a new campaign, I am a player and a friend of mine's the DM. He's a first-time DM so I'm helping out a bit. We decided on having the Big Bad of the campaign a dragon, but we didn't really want the same old chromatic or metallic dragon, so we decided on designing our own. Thus was born the Razorwing Dragon. The dragon is about half-finished I think, but I wanted to show you the labour of our work and get some constructive criticism. Even though I have DM'd before, this is my first homebrew monster.

    In summary the idea is this: A steel colored dragon with razor sharp scales that, instead of a breath weapon, can throw tiny, needle-like scales off it's wings in a cone, dealing slashing damage and making the affected bleed until healed. Also: while not as strong as some of the other dragons, is just as tough and more agile.

    Spoiler
    Show
    Size/Type: Huge Dragon
    Hit Dice: 24d12 + 192 (300)
    Initiative: +6
    Speed: 60 ft., fly 200 ft. (poor)
    Armor Class: 32 (-2 size, +2 Dex, +22 natural) Touch: 10, Flat-footed: 30
    Base Attack/Grapple: +24/+40
    Attack: Bite +30 melee (2d8+8)
    Full Attack: Bite +30 melee (2d8+8) and 2 claws +30 melee (2d6+4) and 2 wings +30 melee (1d8+4) and tail slap +30 melee (2d6+12)
    Space/Reach: 15ft./10ft. (15ft. with bite)
    Special Attacks: Hail of Razors, Crush, Frightful Presence, Spell Like Abilities, Razor Explosion, Scything Blow
    Special Qualities: DR 15/Magic, SR 27, Sharp Scales
    Saves: Fortitude: +20, Reflex: +16, Will: +19
    Abilities: Str: 26, Dex: 14, Con: 22, Int: 24, Wis: 20, Cha: 24
    Skills: Bluff +34, Climb +35, Concentration +33, Diplomacy +34, Intimidate +34, Jump +35, Listen +32, Search +34, Sense Motive +32, Spot +32, Knowledge (any three) +34
    Feats: Dodge, Mobility, Flyby Attack, Improved Flyby Attack, Hover, Snatch, Improved Initiative, Multiattack, Improved Multiattack.
    --------
    Environment: Cool, rocky highlands.
    Organization: Solitary or family.
    Challenge Rating: 18
    Treasure: Triple Standard
    Alignment: Neutral Evil

    Hail of Razors: Instead of a breath weapon, the Razorwing can, with a powerful thrust of his wings, shoot thousands of tiny needle-like scales in a 50 ft. cone. The cone deals 18d6 points of slashing and piercing damage (reflex half) and anyone that doesn't make his reflex save takes an extra 1d6 points of damage every round until healed. The dragon can do this once every 2d4 rounds.

    Razor Explosion: A last-ditch attempt to kill his attackers, this is an attack only a Razorwing that's near death uses. When the dragon chooses to use this attack it must be on the ground. The attack takes two rounds. The first round the dragon curls himself up defensively, giving a +8 to AC. The second round the dragon fires off an explosion of razorsharp scales with a 100 ft. radius. Dealing 30d6 points of slashing and piercing damage (reflex half) and anyone that doesn't make his reflex save takes an extra 1d6 points of damage every round until healed. Anyone that's reduced to under -10 HP with this attack is literally torn to shreds and can only be resurrected with a true resurrection spell. Using this attack costs the dragon 50% of it's remaining hit points and lowers it's natural armor bonus by half on account of it shooting off about half of it's scales. The dragon has to wait a week before using this attack again. Because of the weight shedd by throwing off it's scales, the dragon gets a +20 land speed and +50 fly speed.

    Scything blow: A Razorwing Dragon can attack with it's razor-sharp wings when doing a flyby attack, doing 3d6 points of slashing damage.

    Sharp Scales: Anyone that's grappled by a Razorwing takes an extra 1d6 points of damage each round because of the dragon's razor-like scales.

    Crush: This attack allows a flying or jumping Razorwing to land on opponents as a standard action. This attack is only effective against targets three or more size categories smaller than the dragon (though it can attempt normal overrun or grapple attacks against larger opponents).
    A crush affects as many creatures as can fit under the dragon's body. Creatures in the affected area must succeed on a reflex save (DC equal to that of Hail of Razors) or be pinned, automatically taking bludgeoning damage every turn unless the dragon moves off them. If the dragon maintains the pin, treat it as a normal grapple attack. Pinned opponents take damage from the crush every round if they don't escape.
    A crush attack deals 2d8+12 damage, plus the damage from Sharp Scales.

    Spell-like Abilities: 3/day - Blade Barrier


    The dragon is not completely finished, I intent to add some more spell-like abilities, and I think I've given him too few feats, so that's to come... Any suggestions would be welcomed, for example some suggestions for more blade or razor themed spell-like abilities. I am trying to make it challenge level 18-20, so keep that in mind.

    EDITS: Increased the number of feats, heightened the damage of razor attacks. Increased fly speed. Fixed attacks. Still need to think of good spell-like abilities.
    Last edited by Wolfer; 2010-10-06 at 04:34 PM.
    center

  2. - Top - End - #2
    Troll in the Playground
     
    PirateGirl

    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Elemental Plane of Purple
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: Razorwing Dragon [3.5 Monster]

    Give it Multiattack and Improved Multiattack feats too. It should have 9 feats plus any bonus feat that you want to give it.

    Standard Huge dragons get the following attacks: Bite (2d8); 2 claws (2d6) 2 wing buffets (1d8) tail slap (2d6) and Crush (2d8) . I think this creature should have those attacks as well. Note that a crush attack deals the indicated damage plus 1Ĺ times the dragonís Strength bonus (round down).

    Debby
    P.E.A.C.H. Please Evaluate And Critique Honestly. Being nicer and kinder doesn't hurt either. Note I generally only critique 3.5 and Pathfinder material.
    Please, please, please when using non-core material, cite to the books. There are too many books to wade through to find the one with the feat, special ability or spell you use.
    my creations in homebrew signature thread

  3. - Top - End - #3
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    GreataxeFighterGuy

    Join Date
    May 2010
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Razorwing Dragon [3.5 Monster PEACH]

    Even with the additional damage every round, you can probably be a little more generous with the damage for Hail of Razors since it gives the Reflex save for half. I think 20d6 is safe, if not more. A dragon can taking the Clinging Breath feat for a similar (if not better) effect and still probably wait less time to reuse it.
    A proud contributor to DnD-Wiki.org, which focuses on the production of quality homebrew content as well as maintenance of the SRD and other Open Game Licensed material.

    My favorite class is the ranger, a fact that I am ashamed of because the 3.5e incarnation of it kind of sucks. As a result, I'm very stubborn and opinionated concerning what I think a ranger should be, so if you post a ranger variant I will probably post what I think about it for good or ill.

  4. - Top - End - #4
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    Wolfer's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Akureyri, Iceland
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Razorwing Dragon [3.5 Monster PEACH]

    Thanks for your input Debby, the multiattack has been implemented, I think the feats are looking pretty neat now.

    And, yes you are right there Cidolfas, looking again over the original dragons their breath weapon at CR 18 seems to do much more than 10d6 damage... Better damage for both hail of razors and razor explosion I think...
    center

  5. - Top - End - #5
    Troll in the Playground
     
    PirateGirl

    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Elemental Plane of Purple
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: Razorwing Dragon [3.5 Monster PEACH]

    The dragon's melee attacks are wrong. Melee attacks are BAB + Str modifier + size modifier: 24 +8 -2 = 30 not 32.

    The rest is mostly nitpick stuff to make it look good

    Attack: Bite +30 melee (2d8+8)
    Full Attack: Bite +30 melee (2d8+8) and 2 claws +30 melee (2d6+4) and 2 wings +30 melee (1d8+4) and tail slap +30 melee (2d6+12)

    Special Attacks and Special Abilities should be listed alphabetically (a really minor nit pick).

    I think you need to think about the fluff for the creature to finish the statblock. Environment ties in with this. Depending on its alignment, it will come into conflict with other creatures and possibly other dragons. These aren't the quickest fliers either.

    Here is a sample organization
    Organization: Solitary, pair, or family (1-2 and 2-5 offspring)

    Debby
    P.E.A.C.H. Please Evaluate And Critique Honestly. Being nicer and kinder doesn't hurt either. Note I generally only critique 3.5 and Pathfinder material.
    Please, please, please when using non-core material, cite to the books. There are too many books to wade through to find the one with the feat, special ability or spell you use.
    my creations in homebrew signature thread

  6. - Top - End - #6
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    Wolfer's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Akureyri, Iceland
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Razorwing Dragon [3.5 Monster PEACH]

    Thanks, the attacks I did have a bit of a trouble getting... The rest, the environment and spell-like abilities and such, shall be sorted with a conversation with the DM. Otherwise it's looking pretty tight.
    center

  7. - Top - End - #7
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    firemagehao's Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Razorwing Dragon [3.5 Monster PEACH]

    Spring attack and combat reflexes could help it be even more agile.
    Last edited by firemagehao; 2010-10-07 at 10:28 AM.
    Fighter: "I can kill someone in a turn."
    Cleric: "I can kill someone in half a turn."
    Wizard: "I can kill someone before my turn."
    Bard: "I can make three idiots kill people for me."

    Avatar by MethosH

    Be the Ultimate Ninja! Play Billy Vs. SNAKEMAN today!

    Quote Originally Posted by Tsumeken View Post
    (*starts laughing* Oh my god.... you do not know what fresh Hell you've suddenly introduced do you? Oh well... here we go...)

  8. - Top - End - #8
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Fable Wright's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Razorwing Dragon [3.5 Monster PEACH]

    For new SLAs: The Complete arcane would be a good source to look through, especially with the Wu Jen metal elemental spells. That's my recommendation, anyways.
    Used to be DMofDarkness
    Old avatar by Elagune.
    Spoiler: Collection of Signature Quotes
    Show

  9. - Top - End - #9
    Troll in the Playground
     
    PirateGirl

    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Elemental Plane of Purple
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: Razorwing Dragon [3.5 Monster PEACH]

    Just a few more things. All of the dragon's Special Abilities are Extraordinary.

    You list a few Reflex saves but didn't put in the DC number for those saves. DC is 10 + 1/2 Dragon's HD + relevant ability modifier. You should decide which ability is the most relevant.

    The bonus to AC in the Razor Explosion should be a Circumstance bonus.

    Debby
    P.E.A.C.H. Please Evaluate And Critique Honestly. Being nicer and kinder doesn't hurt either. Note I generally only critique 3.5 and Pathfinder material.
    Please, please, please when using non-core material, cite to the books. There are too many books to wade through to find the one with the feat, special ability or spell you use.
    my creations in homebrew signature thread

  10. - Top - End - #10
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    GreataxeFighterGuy

    Join Date
    May 2010
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Razorwing Dragon [3.5 Monster PEACH]

    This may be intentional, but this also isn't made in what I would consider to be the customary fashion for dragons (with the age categories and the like). I feel like making it in that way could make the dragon applicable to a wider range of encounters across all levels.

    Another suggestion (especially if you revamped it for age categories) would be to take a leaf out of the fang dragon's book and make the dragon's base damage (or maybe even critical threat range, since the fang dragon didn't do that if I remember right) higher than normal to represent the damaging abilities of his weapons.

    The above ability could probably be included under Sharp Scales, which could use a boost in my opinion. Were this to use age categories, I would suggest that Sharp Scales do 1d6 points of damage per age category when grappling, keeping a baseline of around one half the damage for Hail of Razors.

    For Hail of Razors, I thought of something that I personally thought was cool. It reminded me of the burrowing arrows (from Complete Warrior, I believe) that stayed embedded in the creature (preventing healing) until removed, at which point they dealt an additional 1d8 damage. A similar mechanic could be used for Hail of Razors: having the scales stick inside the target after base damage is dealt. If you wished to take it a step further, you could make the number of embedded spikes be proportional to the size of the creature (0 for Tiny or smaller, 1 for Small or Medium, 2 for Large, 4 for Huge, 8 for Garguantuan, and so on). You could make it a move action to remove a scale, which would effectively prevent healing of particularly large creatures unless they waste actions removing the scales. You obviously shouldn't feel compelled to use those exact numbers even if yu decide to use it; it's just a suggestion, after all.

    It may seem somewhat extreme, but honestly this is a dragon. It needs to compete with some seriously strong opposition.

    I'm looking through the Spell Compendium to see if there are any sword-themed spells that would be useful. I'll try to post them when I compile a decent list.
    A proud contributor to DnD-Wiki.org, which focuses on the production of quality homebrew content as well as maintenance of the SRD and other Open Game Licensed material.

    My favorite class is the ranger, a fact that I am ashamed of because the 3.5e incarnation of it kind of sucks. As a result, I'm very stubborn and opinionated concerning what I think a ranger should be, so if you post a ranger variant I will probably post what I think about it for good or ill.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •