Results 31 to 60 of 125
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2010-10-06, 12:24 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2009
Re: What DM says and what players hear
oh boy, u r making me LOL to loud in my office XD
DM say: (describing a lair) it's seems to be empty.
Players hear: don't worry lads there is no one in home
DM say: (decribing the same lair) It's empty
Players hear: oh boy, send the rogue first.
DM say: u find some obviuos tracks of a fight
Players hear: railroad again ¬¬
DM say: u find some obviuos tracks of a fight.
Player hear: make search rolls, it must be some loot around here.
DM say: u enter in town.
Players hear: SHOP TIME.
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2010-10-06, 12:43 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2010
- Location
- Davis, CA
- Gender
Re: What DM says and what players hear
DM says: is that REALLY what you want to do?
Players hear: crap, we messed up bad
DM says: nothing (but smiles)
Players hear: oh crap, we really messed up bad
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2010-10-06, 01:45 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2009
Re: What DM says and what players hear
One we've seen often, after the DM rolls damage [WoD game.
DM says: Wow... or ...that's bad.
Players hear: I better roll Stamina soak really well.
DM says: ...how much HP do you have left?
Players hear: I'm going to die.
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2010-10-06, 01:52 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2010
- Location
- Out in The Sticks
- Gender
Re: What DM says and what players hear
haha.... we had this one happen last session
Spoiler
DM: -rolls to hit behind screen-
DM: uh oh.....
-looks at ranger-
how many hit points do you have?
player: 9?
DM: right... well, -turns to the rest of the party- "you see the orc bring its great axe down into the ranger's chest, throwing him to the ground, he doesn't get up." -back to the ranger- I'll be keeping track of your hitpoints now, roll well next turn
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2010-10-06, 02:03 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2010
- Location
- Orlando, FL
- Gender
Re: What DM says and what players hear
Haha, YES! My DM has the habit of being generous with gold and loot, but then keeping us from any city large enough to sell the loot and spend the gold! When we finally hit a decent-sized trade city, all RP stopped dead and we turned into teenagers at the mall with Dad's credit cards.
Relatedly...
DM says: sorry, that item is not available to buy in this city
Players hear: this is the single most useful item for your next several encounters
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2010-10-06, 02:08 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2008
- Location
- My apartment
- Gender
Re: What DM says and what players hear
DM Says: *description of the most epically powerful monster/NPC ever seen*
Players hear: "DM would never put us up against something we couldn't beat so it MUST be an illusion!"Been there, fought that, died horribly.
Something fun and flavorful to get your DM throwing books at you: Katana Chucker
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2010-10-06, 02:27 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2010
- Location
- England
- Gender
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2010-10-06, 03:44 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2009
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2010-10-06, 04:07 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2010
- Gender
Re: What DM says and what players hear
DM: "In the (insert place) there is a female doing (insert perform skill here).
Player: Succubus or some variant thereof.
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2010-10-06, 05:21 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2005
- Location
- Heidelberg, Germany
- Gender
Re: What DM says and what players hear
DM says: You enter the room and see a...
Players hear: whatever, roll initiative, kill the sucker and get loot and XP
DM says: On another table, you see a curious fellow. Player1, describe your character.
Other Players hear: Introduce yourself and take this guy along to your adventures no matter how little sense it may make
DM says: Alright, let's make a short introduction how you meet.
Players hear: You're all in a tavern. Feel free to burn it down, you know I'm always delighted by that
Spoiler: PbP
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2010-10-06, 07:28 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2009
- Gender
Re: What DM says and what players hear
DM says: Pass the popcorn.
Players hear: Bribe me with food and I probably won't TPK you within the next few minutes.
DM says: It appears to be magical.
Half the players hear: It's cursed and will probably kill you instantly if you look at it wrong.
The other half hear: It's a very powerful artifact that your character should probably hang onto forever.Some things I do that you might enjoy:
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Latest: Kingdom Builder Generator Pack II
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2010-10-07, 12:55 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2008
- Location
- Niagara Falls, Ont
- Gender
Re: What DM says and what players hear
DM: Insert Story/Plot
Players: Blah blahh blaahh were is the money?Last edited by mikej; 2010-10-07 at 12:55 AM.
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2010-10-07, 08:40 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2009
- Location
- Perth, West Australia
- Gender
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2010-10-07, 12:25 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2010
- Location
- Bonsall, CA
- Gender
Re: What DM says and what players hear
Sweeeet!
Thanks.Blog for my latest (and hopefully last) campaign world: Thargothras!
Some less overused ways for your PCs to meet
Best compliments yet received:
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2010-10-07, 12:31 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2008
- Location
- Freljord
Re: What DM says and what players hear
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2010-10-07, 01:54 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2009
Re: What DM says and what players hear
DM says: It's immune to fire.
DM means: Really. It's immune to fire.
Players hear: Apply fire.
DM says: Roll spot.
Players hear: Start rolling up your replacement characters.
DM says: I...I really don't think that's within the rules.
Players see: A moment of weakness.
Players hear: I just need more convincing. I'll allow it eventually."Once upon a time, a story was never finished..."
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2010-10-07, 02:06 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2005
- Location
- Heidelberg, Germany
- Gender
Re: What DM says and what players hear
DM says: How many HP do you have left?
DM means: This would kill you and I need to fudge the rolls so you keep barely alive.
Players hear: Just indulge me cause they're gone anyway.
DM says: <describes charming rogue character>
Players hear: It's Han Solo with a rapier.
DM says: The orc blocks your overhead swing with the flat of his axe, then momentarily brings you out of balance by pushing into you, giving him an opening to bypass your cover and score a stinging hit on your left shoulder. You take 7 damage.
Players hear: You take 7 damage.
Spoiler: PbP
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2010-10-07, 02:28 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2009
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2010-10-07, 02:45 PM (ISO 8601)
Re: What DM says and what players hear
DM says: Anyone got any d6s I can borrow?
Players hear: BWUHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!
Players think: What's my Reflex save, again?
DM says: Okay, you're in a tavern...
Players hear: I'm unoriginal and boring.
Players think: Booze, wenches, a quest giver or two... and I hope the owner has fire insurance.
DM says: The meeting is set to happen in the town square...
Players hear: I'm obviously subverting tropes because you all b**ch about me using taverns all of the time.
Players think: What's wrong with the tavern?
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2010-10-07, 02:47 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2009
- Gender
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2010-10-07, 03:16 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
- Location
- Maryland
- Gender
Re: What DM says and what players hear
DM Says: You find a book.
Novice Players Hear: Boooring, lets find something to kill.
Intermediate Players Hear: Oooh, is it a tome? MINE!
Veteran Players: Well, he's got the Call of Cthulu book open again. I need fire.
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2010-10-07, 04:30 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2010
- Location
- Kitchener/Waterloo
- Gender
Re: What DM says and what players hear
Depressingly true. Story time!
SpoilerThe players were fighting the BBEG of this part of the campaign, an elven barbarian. And she was slaughtering them. One of the players jumps down into a pit trap just to get away from her. As she leaps over the pit to busily hack at the rest of the party, he glances up from his pool of blood and asks, "is she wearing underwear?"Lord Raziere herd I like Blasphemy, so Urpriest Exalted as a Malefactor
Meet My Monstrous Guide to Monsters. Everything you absolutely need to know about Monsters and never thought you needed to ask.
Trophy!
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2010-10-07, 04:42 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2010
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2010-10-07, 05:10 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2010
- Location
- Bonsall, CA
- Gender
Re: What DM says and what players hear
It is depressing, but sometimes good for a laugh, especially when the NPCs hear the joke and take it seriously, like the time one of my players got a disugised marilith to make her armor invisible for a handful of gold coins (her greed far outweighed any modesty she had for her human disguise).
But one of my players tries to hook up with everything. Often it spoils the mood, but if it sounds funny enough I let it happen.
If he makes his Cha check, he can hit on anyone he wants, but his choices are sometimes disturbing enough to spoil the fun. His enthusiasm seems to be directly proportional to the depravity of the pairing.
opposite sex/same sex, same species? "Great!"
Different species? "woohoo"
Underage? "fantastic!"
Creepily kinky? "All riiight!!"
Undesirable in some other way (ugly, way too old, has obvious VD)? "Mission accomplished!"
Hideously deformed or dangerous location/timing? "Now we're talking!"
Different creature type w/ discernable anatomy (i.e. giants, undead? "**** yeah!"
Plant/ooze/construct (if he has the time, he will try)? "YES! I DID IT!"
A combination of several of the above? "Achievement. ****ing. UNLOCKED!"
This is true even when he plays warforged, intelligent plants, or supposedly celibate monks. And while yes means yes, no only seems to mean "convince me harder." It's painful, but at least he's getting into character.Last edited by Notreallyhere77; 2010-10-07 at 05:11 PM.
Blog for my latest (and hopefully last) campaign world: Thargothras!
Some less overused ways for your PCs to meet
Best compliments yet received:
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2010-10-07, 05:28 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2010
Re: What DM says and what players hear
Brilliance.
Playing as a Barbarian, with a Cleric of Sadism, Psion and Warforged fighter.
DM says: After the cleric sets off the trap made of noisy pots and pans, you hear 5 roars.
Players hear: I just gave you all torches because you're about to fight a 5 headed hydra.
I think: Man, am I ever glad I have Great Cleave.
Psion thinks: I wish I had specialized in fire manifestations right now.
Cleric thinks: This wand of cure light wounds with 50 charges is the best investment I have ever made.
Warforged thinks: 1010100110010101010101010101010101010
DM says: I'm sorry, you hear 6 roars.
Players hear: I expect at least one of you not to survive this.
I think: Man, am I ever glad I have Great Cleave.
Psion thinks: Definitely should've specialized in fire manifestations.
Cleric thinks: Should've rolled up a healbot.
Warforged thinks: 1000101011101001100101010101101001010101010101010
We were all level 4 and the Warforged might be busted beyond all repair, but we beat the thing, with Great Cleave carrying us to victory.
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2010-10-07, 05:42 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2007
Re: What DM says and what players hear
DM describes: *anything that moves*
Players hear: XP!
DM describes: *anything that doesn't move*
Players hear: Loot!
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2010-10-07, 05:43 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2008
Re: What DM says and what players hear
{{scrubbed}}
Last edited by LibraryOgre; 2010-10-08 at 10:27 AM.
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2010-10-07, 06:28 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
- Location
- Ponyville
- Gender
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2010-10-07, 06:37 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2009
- Location
- England
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2010-10-07, 06:40 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2008
- Location
- Freljord
Re: What DM says and what players hear
{{scrubbed}}
Last edited by LibraryOgre; 2010-10-08 at 10:27 AM.
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