Is there anything a kobold cant do ? (3.5 edition only)

[Bayar]

Can someone find a single thing that a kobold cannot do in D&D? Post your chalenges and I'll try to overcome them. Just try to make chalenges that wont conflict with RAW in any way (like casting level 9 spells at level 2)

And no, Pun Pun wont be the answer to everything.

[Adumbration]

They can't be a good strength-based fighter in comparison to most other races.

Or are you looking for specific challenges?

[Bayar]

They can't be a good strength-based fighter in comparison to most other races.

Or are you looking for specific challenges?

Wow, this came out quick, didnt it ?

Well, take Earth Kobold from Unearthed arcana (-2 STR/-2 CON), complete the dragon rite of passage fro Races of the dragon (choosing Enlarge self), take 1 level of barbarian for the rage, get 4 levels of fighter (with the alternate class features from races of the dragon) for dodge, weapon focus for any spear weapon, +2 con and +2 str.

Now, at 1st level, you have 16 in strenght (18 stat -2 from racial). this nullifies with the fighter bonus (the con penalty is countered in the same way), +4 from rage, +2 from enlarge self and you have a kobold that is able to say "Who's the minion now, mother****er ?" to any party.

[ufo]

Kobolds can't get a 9th level spell at level 2.


EDIT: @V Pun-Pun has no friends.

[Bayar]

Kobolds can't get a 9th level spell at level 2.

Well...no one can. (yeah, and if someone found a method, shapechanging characters at level 2 would be banned)

Edit: Pun Pun became a god and granted himself spell levels at level 1.

Edit 2 @^ but he has a cult...

[Pronounceable]

Kobolds can't jump...

[The New Bruceski]

Make a shift immediately after being missed? Well, unless they were half-goblin.

Hmm, a half-goblin half-kobold would be NASTY to pin down on the battlefield...

[Viruzzo]

Grow silky hair? Stand higher on an evolutionary scale than mammals?

[LibraryOgre]

Reach the top shelf without a stool?

[monty]

Successfully utilize a non-cheesy character concept?

[BizzaroStormy]

They can't prepare a delicious turkey dinner using only their feet.

[Bayar]

Kobolds can't jump...

Kobolds have a 30 ft speed (unlike other small races) so they dont get a penalty nor a bonus. So, using that figher as a base character, take the Dragonwrought feat from Races of the Dragon. At level 3, grab the feat dragon wings from the same book. You get a +10 bonus to jump. Assuming you max out jump skill, you will have 8 ranks in jump at character level 5, a +4 STR bonus (and when raging and enlarged you will have +7). So, feel free to get Power attack at level 1 as a bonus feat via a flaw (unearthed arcana), and grab Leap attack at level 6.

Make a shift immediately after being missed?

A Venerable Dragonwrought Kobold Wizard with the Immediate magic (conjuration) alternate class feature gets Abrupt Jaunt as a spell-like ability that activates a number of times a day equal to your Intelligence bonus. And it is an immediate action to activate it. That means, you can shift immediately BEFORE being attacked.

Grow silky hair?

Oh the irony. Kobolds wear clothes made out of leather or silk. They get silk from underground spiders and worms. So, yeah...they can grow silky hair...in the form of wigs made out of silk.

Stand higher on an evolutionary scale than mammals?

They are kin to the dragons. How high on the evolutionary scale do you want to be, hairless ape ?

Reach the top shelf without a stool?

Abberant blood + Inhuman reach from Lords of Madness. The kobold now has reach. Or Extended reach from Savage Species if you need to use feats elsewhere.

Successfully utilize a non-cheesy character concept?

Hmm...they can always go Aristocrat with Merchantile background and hire a party of adventurers to fight for them.

They can't prepare a delicious turkey dinner using only their feet.

I guess this is Skill Profession (cook). Start off with a class that has profession as a class skill. Factotum has all skills as class skills. Max ranks at level 1, get Able learner (profession (cook)) so that it will be always a class skill. Also, make sure you are a venerable dragonwrought kobold for stat synergy (18 wisdom at level 1 +3 from being venerable=21). Find other classes that synergise well with giving bonuses to stats (Marshall with minor aura - Motivate wisdom = lets you add your stat bonus twice) until you qualify for the Exemplar prestige class. That gives you more skill goodness. With skill focus (profession) and a masterwork profession (cook) tool (bag of spices), you would have a bonus of roughly 13(ranks)+12(WIS doubled add 1 point to WIS at level 4)+3(skill focus)+4(Exemplar-competence bonus) = 32. Add a +10 from a skill shard (1000 GP) and the ability to take 10 even when under stress from the Exemplar's skill mastery and you have a skill check result of 52.

Now, what is the DC for cooking a turkey with your feet again ?

[LibraryOgre]

Abberant blood + Inhuman reach from Lords of Madness. The kobold now has reach. Or Extended reach from Savage Species if you need to use feats elsewhere.

At this point, I would argue it isn't really a kobold. It's based on a kobold, but it's gone pretty far from being a kobold at this point.

[Andras]

Reach the top shelf without a stool?

Enlarge Person.

[Bayar]

At this point, I would argue it isn't really a kobold. It's based on a kobold, but it's gone pretty far from being a kobold at this point.

Screw the rules, I'm a kobold.

[F.L.]

I don't think you have enough money to screw the rules.

[Tengu_temp]

Wizards in 3.x can do everything. Kobolds can be wizards. Therefore, kobolds can indeed do everything.

[Oslecamo]

Be stronger than the PHB races, in core-only. Hmm, I supose splat-books are really broken.

[Jayngfet]

Find out why kids love cinnamon toast crunch?

Beat Pun-Norris?

And A Kobold can transform into a Rakasha, which has higher level spells for free.

[Cuddly]

Don't forget; when a kobold takes the dragonwrought feat, he qualifies for the epic feats. Which means he can spend a feat to get +1 strength.

[Prophaniti]

Don't forget; when a kobold takes the dragonwrought feat, he qualifies for the epic feats. Which means he can spend a feat to get +1 strength.

?? I don't think I've been introduced to that particular rules loop-hole, pray explain?

I did find it interesting, while reading through RotD, that a Dragonwrought kobold cannot take the PrC DragonHeart Mage, in the same supplement, because he no longer has the Dragonblood subtype. So, apparently, he's too much like a dragon to become more like a dragon... fun times. I always ignored that rule anyway, I like that build.

[erikun]

Become a were-fox.

[Viruzzo]

Gain the Barghest's devour level-up ability without polymorphing into one.

Wizards in 3.x can do everything. Kobolds can be wizards. Therefore, kobolds can indeed do everything.

In fact, they don't even need to be wizards with splatbooks around.

[Cuddly]

?? I don't think I've been introduced to that particular rules loop-hole, pray explain?

A true dragon is defined by having age categories (wyrmling, adult, great wyrm, etc). A dragonwrought kobold has these age categories. Ergo, a kobold with the dragonwrought feat is a true dragon, not just a dragon. Draconomicon allows dragons to take epic feats, so long as the qualify for them, pre-epic.

The best use of this, really, is picking up improved heighten spell for your gestalt shadowcraft mage (3 levels of stoneblessed to count as a gnome). I haven't figured out anything else too cheesy, save for getting to use underpowered fighter-type feats.

[FoE]

Can a kobold eat its own head? (ie. skull, flesh, eyes and brains)

[Pronounceable]

Can a kobold create a rock no kobold can lift?

[Jayngfet]

Can a kobold eat its own head? (ie. skull, flesh, eyes and brains)

Clone, eat the clones head, or stab you'reself and eat the corpses head.

[Bayar]

A true dragon is defined by having age categories (wyrmling, adult, great wyrm, etc). A dragonwrought kobold has these age categories. Ergo, a kobold with the dragonwrought feat is a true dragon, not just a dragon. Draconomicon allows dragons to take epic feats, so long as the qualify for them, pre-epic.

The best use of this, really, is picking up improved heighten spell for your gestalt shadowcraft mage (3 levels of stoneblessed to count as a gnome). I haven't figured out anything else too cheesy, save for getting to use underpowered fighter-type feats.

I know this trick. Just that I dont think it actually gives you hit dice to actually make you a great wyrm. It is all about you saying you are old enough. Thus, this trick wont be used.

I don't think you have enough money to screw the rules.

Have you heard about dragon hoards? Who do you think gave the dragon it's hoard in the first place ? Kobolds. Thus kobolds have enough money to screw the rules.

Wizards in 3.x can do everything. Kobolds can be wizards. Therefore, kobolds can indeed do everything.

Kobolds can do everything. Even if they are not wizards. They can be druids, or arhivists, or clerics, or artificiers.

Be stronger than the PHB races, in core-only. Hmm, I supose splat-books are really broken.

A mass army of kobolds, wielding greatswords. If allowed, wielding medium greatswords via monkey grip.

Find out why kids love cinnamon toast crunch?

Because a kobold cook baked them.

Beat Pun-Norris?

That is blasphemy against Chuck Norris. Thus, a Kobold should only give a call to Chuck, and he will come and beat the crap out of Pun Norris.

[Tempest Fennac]

Can't Fox Women infect people in the same way that more common Lycanthropes can? If that's the case, it wouldn't be hard for a Kobold to become a Werefox, assming it was female. In regards to non-cheesy builds, would you class a Cloistered Cleric with the Kobold and Trickery Domains, and the Aprrentice feat granting Open Lock and Move Silently as class skills as cheesy? It would serve as a descent Divine Caster whle being able to to what Rogues do to a large degree (Trapfinding, along with Search and Disable Device as cass skills, are granted by the Kobold Domain).

[Bayar]

Can a kobold create a rock no kobold can lift?

Kurtulmak can. He just gets a rock and writes with draconic runes on it: "The kobold that even thinks of lifting this rock will be transformed into a gnome for the rest of his pitiful life". And then he just places a strong magical aura on the rock.