Bibliography III

[John Cribati]

I say we all raid the GaijinManga Forums. and discuss it there.

?

I'm not sure if I was joking.

[blackjack217]

Well, whats the point for Gainji when you cant talk about it there like you can here



...and get maybe get cookies

He gets monies. and there is allegedly a forum over there.

[MPG]

I have GaijinManga on a "feed" and check it fairly often when I don't have time to come to the Playground.

In regards to criticism for the story itself... not much. hmm the arena fight seems to have dragged on for a fair bit, two chapters and 42 pages, but seems to be wrapping up soon. Try to keep the fights reasonably concise we don't want a DBZ-like 10 chapter fight on our hands it just gets repetitive.

Umm nothing else comes to mind to much. Love the "world" you are creating. Story seems well paced mostly. People (on the forums here not in the story) are probably chomping at the bit to get more back-story of Ben and Fong and to see the Bibliography reach further into its potential.

Oh one thing that has been bugging me. Just how big is Tiltstone for it to have a hospital to rival New York and Tokyo? I'm Canadian and it is confusing to me that this maybe-Vancouver sized city seems to be Page central.

If anyone disagrees with my opinions that’s fine I’m not active on the forums enough to argue.
Sorry if this came off as a rant.

[Elagune]

I have GaijinManga on a "feed" and check it fairly often when I don't have time to come to the Playground.

In regards to criticism for the story itself... not much. hmm the arena fight seems to have dragged on for a fair bit, two chapters and 42 pages, but seems to be wrapping up soon. Try to keep the fights reasonably concise we don't want a DBZ-like 10 chapter fight on our hands it just gets repetitive.

Umm nothing else comes to mind to much. Love the "world" you are creating. Story seems well paced mostly. People (on the forums here not in the story) are probably chomping at the bit to get more back-story of Ben and Fong and to see the Bibliography reach further into its potential.

Oh one thing that has been bugging me. Just how big is Tiltstone for it to have a hospital to rival New York and Tokyo? I'm Canadian and it is confusing to me that this maybe-Vancouver sized city seems to be Page central.

If anyone disagrees with my opinions that’s fine I’m not active on the forums enough to argue.
Sorry if this came off as a rant.

Thanks for the feedback! It's good to know. I'm always concerned about my pacing, as I'm of the opinion that timing is the single most important thing in comics, with writing coming a close second, a good setup coming third, and fitting artwork coming fourth.

Tiltstone is basically the Bibliography world's version of Greater Vancouver, with a different history and different districts as well as a largely different demographic and politics. In the world of Bibliography, Vancouver doesn't exist. Tiltstone sits on top of the land where Vancouver would be if it did exist.

The reason that it's Page central will be revealed in the coming pages, I hope. I don't want to give away too much yet!

[Crafty Cultist]

So there is a reason, but you wont say what it is. I believe I know what happens next

Ladies and Gentlemen, Place your bets! Why do you think tiltstone became a page hub?

I'm betting on something buried deep beneath the city, with a side bet on the pages using their powers to control the city's higher ups and create a safe haven for their people.

[Zefir]

I myself don't check GaijinManga more cause by the fact that my wok place seems no have it closed for me in some way, but I check it here every day even if I can't read all of the comments.

In my thoughts the story is very good. The only thing bugging me a bit is the huge amount of not ended story lines, which I hope will be cleared somewhere in the future. (Ben is just starting to explore the new world).

Your art in all ways is fantastic. I don't know how you draw them, maybe I missed it, but I don't think you need a expensive programm. (Maybe you could tell me again how you do it)

And for a fact the perople in this forum seem to like the comic as well. Remember the character creation thing? If you start this again I think you will get many new Ideas.

I hope this can help you, because I'm not very good in responds.

[Lix Lorn]

with a side bet on the pages using their powers to control the city's higher ups and create a safe haven for their people.

Occam's Razor: The pages ARE the higher ups.

[Elagune]

Page 22

New page up!

Man, it's 4am here, and I've got a paper due tomorrow.

FUNfunfun.

[Lix Lorn]

Go get some sleep!

Awesome page as always, though.

[Sanguine]

So there is a reason, but you wont say what it is. I believe I know what happens next

Ladies and Gentlemen, Place your bets! Why do you think tiltstone became a page hub?

I'm betting on something buried deep beneath the city, with a side bet on the pages using their powers to control the city's higher ups and create a safe haven for their people.

I place a bet of four chocolate chips and a cookiethulu that Tiltstone is built on or near something similar a demesne from the exalted setting. Which is to say a convergence of mystical energies that grants power it's controller. It wouldn't be exactly like one however as the Tiltstonians are clearly not mutated.

[Yorrin]

It looks like Ben is about to surf bibliography into the Gaygoyle. I not only hope this is true, but now demand this be his default means of transportation.

[Fayd]

So there is a reason, but you wont say what it is. I believe I know what happens next

Ladies and Gentlemen, Place your bets! Why do you think tiltstone became a page hub?

I'm betting on something buried deep beneath the city, with a side bet on the pages using their powers to control the city's higher ups and create a safe haven for their people.

I vote for the probably unlikely, but terribly uncommon, idea of random chance. A couple pages and/or junior Librarians moved into the area at some point. Others started migrating to it when they heard the community was stable... and things just sort of grew from there.

[Calemyr]

I just checked Gaijinmanga's hits page and it seems like readership has gone down a lot since a couple months ago.

I don't know. How does everybody think of Bibliography so far? I definitely want feedback as to how the story's progressing and how things are going. Since I don't have an editor like a professional comicker, I find it really helpful to have the opinions of my readers.

Using Gaijinmanga's numbers definitely seems like a poor measure given the way you've been presenting it. Giant in the Playground is simply a much easier place to keep up with your work. In part, this is due to your update schedule - if people don't know when to expect their next taste, they begin to lose interest. Here at GitP, that space between updates gets filled with all kinds of analysis, banter, and general amusement, resulting in a much lower loss of interest. If you want that hits page to mean something, link to the gm pages, rather than your photo bucket.

As for the work itself... I sometimes feel like a jerk for criticizing your work, but I do it for a simple reason: it is awesome and I want to see it get awesomer. So here I go.

Drawn out conflicts are tedious in anime, but are generally much worse in web comic form, where you have only get tiny spoonfuls of action at a time and plenty of time in between to digest. This results in armchair strategists who conclude that the main character is an idiot for figuring out in a week what it took them a day and a half to work out, despite the fact that the story has only moved 30 seconds forward. This is a common issue with web comics, but gets continually worse the longer a specific conflict goes on.

Now this particular fight with the Sentinel is a bit of a special case, as it certainly seems to be a pivotal moment in Ben's development where he stops trying to fight like a typical shonen hero and starts fighting like the man he actually is - less with brawn and more with brain. The arena environment and the battle royale were perfect for this, as it allows the battle to begin naturally while still allowing the scale of the fight to come as a surprise. You are also doing a good job balancing scope and scale - when the scale was small, the scope focused on a lot of people, but as the focal battle scaled up, the scope has shrunk to the point that we don't know if everyone else on the field isn't staring at them with their jaws hanging open. This works very well in my book. Even so, it's been going on for a while, and even the best works run into audience fatigue when a single event drags on too long. (Girl Genius, I'm looking at you.)

I was a lot more nervous about how you were handling the Sentinel fight before, back when the story was trying to focus on everything at once. Conflicts should either be short and packed with detail or long and lean - long conflicts that are filled with superfluous filler result in tedium as surely as short fights with no style or substance.

I really hope at least some of that made sense.

[frostedflame]

It looks like Ben is about to surf bibliography into the Gaygoyle. I not only hope this is true, but now demand this be his default means of transportation.

One word

Thats awsome!!

Curd

[Elagune]

Page 23

New page up!

Thanks for the analysis Calemyr, I think it really does help.

[Jokasti]

Next item in stores: Ben's shoes!
Looks like it's wrapping up.

[ninja_penguin]

New page up!

Thanks for the analysis Calemyr, I think it really does help.

If you're looking for critique, while a less is more focus works when you're focusing on specific things (i.e. you're not pausing for a billion reaction shots, and you're not having a gigantically detailed background in these action scenes), I'm having a hard time figuring out what's happening in panel 3, if that's an incoming fist, and explosion, or just a rubber rebound off of gargoyle man's abs. Also, when flopping camera angles like that, it can confuse who has gone flying into the wall in panel 4. The original shot has Ben on the left, gargoyle man on the right. Because I (I personally, not all your readers necessarily), can't pick up the cues in panel 3, it's even money on who has just gone flying into the wall. I'm guessing Ben just due to the fact that I think he's supposed to be the underdog. If whatever panel 3 is happening was more clear, it might help my brain make the jump easier. I.e. Ben's face is 5 inches from a stone fist, my brain goes 'ah, I get it now.'

'also, ow.'

[CrimsonAngel]

Where did Ben's leg go?

[ninja_penguin]

It's foreshortened onto the bibliography, as he's surfing it. Although now that I looked, I did notice that Ben swaps legs between panels 2 and 3.

edit: wait, maybe he didn't. I now can't tell which leg is forward in panel 2.

[Fayd]

Interesting... Interesting times abound. At first, I thought that Rocky here may be descending, but now... dunno. He still might be... or it's the Wolf, whom we haven't seen in a while.

Also, Elagune, Page 23 didn't get linked to the first post. Just thought you would want to know.

[MPG]

I kind of feel sorry for Bibliography, getting stepped on like that all the time. If I were an intelligent possibly living weapon I might not like that.

[Prime32]

I kind of feel sorry for Bibliography, getting stepped on like that all the time. If I were an intelligent possibly living weapon I might not like that.

And this comes up just as I'm watching Shakugan no Shana.

"MY DARLING GOBLET!"

[Elagune]

Page 24

Aaand that marks the end of the chapter.

I guess the last page was a little confusing on first read through, but you can't always make things clear in one page. This one is supposed to air things a bit.

[Lix Lorn]

Pretty awesome. Go Ben!

...I'm expecting him to get curbstomped any minute. Either that, or a descending page Worf Effects the other werewolf...

[Radar]

Someone can be fong of his nephew.

There is also a typo in the last panel (it'as instead of it's).

[frostedflame]

Someone can be fong of his nephew.

There is also a typo in the last panel (it'as instead of it's).

No more puns please just
no more puns

[GaijinMangaRep]

No more puns please just
no more puns

That was quite the Eve-nt. I've Ben dying to know how Ben would defeat the Gargoyle. The action got me Raoul-ed up.

Then my cat Satomi and I pet it.

Also...

I say we all raid the GaijinManga Forums. and discuss it there.

I approve of this plan. ;)

[VoodooShark]

I just ran through all 12 chapters of this, and I just wanted to say that you have a fan in me.

And possibly several more fans as I head off to convince people to read this.

PS:

That was quite the Eve-nt. I've Ben dying to know how Ben would defeat the Gargoyle. The action got me Raoul-ed up.

Then my cat Satomi and I pet it.

Hey, now.

I don't think frostedflame finds this very punny.

[Elagune]

Page 24

There was a mistake in the last post. The one that was uploaded was a previous version.

Here's the real one!

And glad to see you enjoy it VoodooShark, always glad to find a new reader!

[blackjack217]

Hey, now.

I don't think frostedflame finds this very punny.

As long as he does not flake out it will be fine.