Community Based Monster Classes: Come in and help out!

[Kajhera]

Check your tables quick.

[Betropper]

Check your tables quick.

Just noticed that

[Kajhera]

Just noticed that

Also some formatting issues with asterisks in the body thing.

Sorry, a bit too late for me to be particularly useful in studying the thing.

[Mystic Muse]

The saves look odd and the mouths seem like they should at least deal + half strength modifier, or they won't be worth using at higher levels.

[FishAreWet]

@Gibbering Mouther
Saves should be 10 + 1/2 HD. You have 10 + HD listed. Is this on purpose? I think it should be half HD.
Eventually Blood Drain should be a swift action to allow for full round attacks. As listed it's basically a Full Round action to attach to someone. I would change it from dealing a scaling d4 of damage to multiples of bite damage.
Why is Acid Spittle a full round action? Knock it down to standard.
Remove [Compulsion] from Gibbering. First level spells shouldn't make you immune to things like this.
Change Ground Manipulation to a Move Action and reword it to say "stone and earth in a 10ft per 4HD radius becomes difficult terrain. This lasts for 3 rounds" And add in that the Gibbering Mouther can ignore it. Maybe make it last Con modifier rounds to add an elemental of scaling? At high HD levels this needs to do something to flying creatures. What? Good question. Maybe at 14HD flying creatures get knocked out of the air?
Make clear that a creature who makes a save to escape from the stomach ends up attached to a mouth again.

Great ideas. I really do like this thing.

@Kyuubi
I agree. I assumed it meant a bite with a base damage of d4 but if not it definitely should be.

[Temotei]

Under professionalism, it doesn't say anything about capitalizing every word in the table. Since WotC never capitalizes every word (just the first word in every row, etc.), is it okay if I change my classes to have non-capital letters?

It would make me temporarily excited.

[Mystic Muse]

Can somebody help me on overhauling the Silver dragon? I'm stumped right now.

[bladesmith]

Huh, just a couple of thoughts from someone who hasn't contributed to the thread before. Anyways, the silver dragon seems good at two things; flying and learning. My suggestion would be to pick on those. Things like adding a Lore ability(yeah, still kinda boring...), or some sort of crazy flight thing that only it can pull off. Perhaps something that allows it to make a dive attack with only 10 ft of movement and a height advantage(so even if its just jumping down on someone). Give it a snappy name("Drop like a rock"?) and it might be alright. Or enhance its mobility with a flyby attack ability. Or perhaps use its breath weapon to create a shapeable fog effect for it to walk on. Maybe the fog effect can scale in usefulness as HD increase(obscuring mist->solid fog, or something).

Eh, that's what comes to mind at the moment. I'll let you know if I get any more.

EDIT: Creating wisps of cloud to run off of/enhance maneuverability in the air would be a neat effect. Kinda "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon", except you make your own walls to run across or up.
EDIT 2.0: Does anyone know if Hydrua is still working on the Purple worm? 'Cause if he isn't, I might take a crack at polishing it up a bit. Just because I want to see it on the finished list.
MOAR EDITS: About the Silver Dragon: why does it it get electricity and acid resistance, rather then cold? Admittedly, these things aren't supposed to completely match the original, but I see no flavor reason to change that. That, and I should probably note that all this is going off the assumption that you think the basics(saves, skills, etc) are satisfactory(which they seem to be.
As for more ideas: you may want to take Silver Feat, and Quick Learner, and just give them an extraordinary version of the spell "Heroics". Also, while I like the flavor of Silver Flier(making Silvers marathon fliers), it needs something more to make it exciting. My first thought would be to just toss Wingover in there, but that is still pretty bland.

[AugustNights]

Under professionalism, it doesn't say anything about capitalizing every word in the table. Since WotC never capitalizes every word (just the first word in every row, etc.), is it okay if I change my classes to have non-capital letters?

It would make me temporarily excited.

Capitalization, and its use, is one of my weaknesses when it comes to any language. Would it be appropriate to revise the example tables? And It's okay with me if you change your classes to have non-capital letters.

[Betropper]

Changed up the Gibbering Mouther a bit.

[Kajhera]

You still have asterisk issues under Strange Body.

It would be cool if (Blinding) Spittle got quicker as well.

The inability to latch on with attacks of opportunity vaguely annoys me, though it might be intentional. If you wanted to be able to do that, having it improve to an immediate action or explicitly be usable on your opponent's turn might work.

Its, not It's under Engulf.

10+HD+Cha is still a weird DC.

Blood drain and engulf feel weird to me, but it's a weird monster, so I'm not sure if that's good or bad. Probably good.

Edit: Also, there's really nothing more I can do on the ankheg to implement suggestions, and it doesn't have a ton of room for new abilities. Unless you want me to pare it down, I think it's pretty close to done, and much more flavorful than when it started.

[Mystic Muse]

MOAR EDITS: About the Silver Dragon: why does it it get electricity and acid resistance, rather then cold?

It has the cold subtype so it gets immunity to cold from that. It gets electricity and acid resistance instead of immunity because 3 immunities at first level is too strong even with vulnerability to fire.

[monkman]

Awesome, it's a nice warm feeling to have the Avenger done finally, and I'll be sure to pay that back by helping the next featured monster.

Until then, I made this class:
Thorn (MMIII Pg 172)



Class

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Hit Die: d6

Skill Points at 1st Level: (6 + Int Mod) x4
Skill Points at each additional Level: 6 + Int modifier

Class Skills: Climb (Str), Craft (Int), Diplomacy (Cha), Hide (Dex), Jump (Str), Knowledge (Nature, Nobility and Royalty) (Int), Listen (Wis), Move Silently (Dex), Search (Int), Sense Motive (Wis), Spot (Wis), Survival (Wis)

{table=head]Level|BAB|Fort|Ref|Will|Abilities|Ability Boosts

1st|+0|+0|+2|+2|Body of Thorns, Weapon of Thorns|
2nd|+1|+0|+3|+3|Protection of the Courts, Subduing Strike +1d6|+1 Dex
3rd|+2|+1|+3|+3|Slumbering Shots|
4th|+3|+1|+4|+4|Weapon of Barbs, Subduing Strike +2d6|+1 Dex[/table]

Profs,Should go here,Not in the body section.
Body of Thorns: A Thorn looses all other racial characteristics and becomes a creature of the Fey type with the following traits:

• Small Size
• Base Land Speed 20ft
• Low-light Vision
• Proficiency with all simple weapons, plus the longbow, longsword, rapier, shortbow, shortsword and whip.
• Proficiency with light armour, bucklers and light shields

Natural armor should be in this section.

Weapon of Thorns (Ex): Thorns are trained to use special weapons and ammunition, crafted with many barbs to create a very thorn-like appearance. While wielding such a weapon a Thorn can freely deal either leathal or non-lethal damage and may inflict slashing or piercing damage in place of a weapon's standard damage type. Creatures without this ability take a -2 penalty while wielding a Weapon of Thorns weapon due to the added difficulty and gain no benefits from doing so.

When without such a weapon and within a natural environment a Thorn may use small power granted to them by the faerie courts and force the weapon or 50 pieces of ammunition to grow curved thorns in can take proper advantage of. This process takes five minutes and only changes the weapons appearance, it still benefits from any properties of the material used in its original construction or those imbued with magical enchantments. This is a supernatural ability.
How about you let it turn weapons into thorns and then it able to use the abilities.(but it would have a max enhancement bonus(+x) of 1/4hd(min is 0) and a max propriety bonus of (1/4Hd)(min 0)) He would also be able to choose what bonuses he could put on the weapon.

Ability Boosts: Starting at second level and again at fourth Thorns receive a +1 bonus to dexterity, for a total of +2 dexterity.

Protection of the Courts (Ex): Through training and devotion to their courts, Thorns of second level realize a new potential in their blood. They gain a natural armour bonus equal to their constitution modifier and DR/cold iron equal to half their HD.
Natural armor,As stated should go in body section,

Subduing Strike (Ex): Continuing to advance in skill with their thorned weapons, Thorns of second level can deal an additional 1d6 points of damage when striking non-lethally. This increases to 2d6 points of nonlethal damage at fourth level. If a Thorn gains the ability to strike non-lethally without penalty from another class, he increases his subduing strike damage by 1d6 while doing so.

You may treat subduing strike as sneak attack for the purposes of qualifying for feats and prestige classes. Classes that advance sneak attack can advance your subduing strike damage instead, but you must still follow the limitations of your subduing strikes.
What happens if you want to sneak attack?Does this stack with the sneak attack bonus or do you only deal you other class damage?

Slumbering Shots (Su): Drawing from the power of their linage, third level Thorns and higher can imbue their arrows with the power of slumber. The power comes to them naturally and is done as free action made as part of the action used to fire the arrow. Thorns may only fire a number of slumbering shots per day equal to their HD*2.

Any creature struck by one of this arrows must succeed on a Fortitude save with a DC of 10 + 1/2 HD + Wis Mod or be affected as though by a sleep spell, regardless of HD. If the creature has unhealed non-lethal damage or the attack itself deals non-lethal damage it receives a -2 penalty to this save.

Weapon of Barbs (Ex): Thorns of fourth level can add their dexterity modifier as a bonus to damage when wielding a thorned weapon, and also gain an additional benefit depending on the type of weapon.

Melee: Against an offguard opponent a Thorn can use that edge to strip away their defences. Against a target that would be denied its dexterity bonus to AC or that the Thorn flanks, he reduces any natural armour bonus they posses by one per successful attack. Their natural armour bonus returns to normal after receiving 5 points of healing for every one point of natural armour removed. Creatures with no natural armour, or those who've had it completely reduced take an extra 50% damage from the Thorn's melee subduing strikes.

Ranged: The barbs on thorned thrown weapons and pieces of ammunition cause them to get stuck in the wounds they make, removal of these takes a move action and deals damage equal the the weapon's base die. Alternately a standard action and DC 15 heal check can be used to remove one safely. These weapons are particularly cumbersome and bestow a -1 penalty to dexterity per weapon until removed. Further saves against the Thorn's slumbering shots ability are made at an addition -1 penalty per stuck slumbering arrow (ontop of any it may be taking from having non-lethal damage, or non-lethal attacks).

Changelog

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December 3rd

• Rolled DR and NA into one ability, renamed 'Protection of the Courts.'
• Fixed some spelling errors.
• Weapon of Thorns updated to quantify pieces of ammunition effected.
• Subduing strikes tweaked to allow for later advancement through PrCs.
• Slumbering shots tweak to make less abusable and more straight forward.
• Weapon of Barbs changed to make it a bit more versatile and effective.

December 7th

• Spelling Corrections
• Minor tweak to Weapon of Thorns
• Removed said tweaked, attached to Subduing Strikes instead

Comments

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Thorns were interesting, and a bit smaller of a class then I thought when I originally got the concept down. Their thorn weapons were cool, and I liked the fluff and sleeping arrows. Building on that I put him together with a sort of control focus, taking down enemies in a condition to imprison or try them in the Fey Courts afterwords. Subduing Stikes was initially used d8s, since it takes more subdual damage to take someone down, but I reduced it to d6s when I started adding everything else.

I'm not completely happy with Weapon of Barbs ranged feature, but that's what feedback and suggestions are for.

The Marrash is mostly complete as well, but I'm heading out tonight and I'm more of a one-at-a-time type guy, so I'm going to finish and work on polishing him up behind the scenes for when the Thorn's finished.

More reviews to come.

[bladesmith]

Yeah, the Ankheg seems pretty well fleshed out. The only thing I might change(and this isn't really necessary) is to change the "No use of weapons and shields" to "Not capable of fine manipulation", or something like that. Just because claws like that really can't manipulate much. Like I said, not a big deal, though.

Uh, gibbering mouther. Ew. First thing I noticed that someone else hasn't seemed to point out yet is that no save is specified to avoid Blood Drain. I'm guessing Reflex save, but it should say something more then just "save". Also, I don't know if this would help much, but maybe just specify 1d4/5HD damage.
With Spittle, we're having another lack of save. Is it a ranged touch attack? A 1 sq AoE with a Reflex save for half damage? An auto-hit? You should probably specify.
Gibbering says it is in a 60 ft spread. Um... I may not be the most material saavy, but that doesn't mean much to me besides 'AoE'. Is it a cone, or a burst? If it is the second one(which I suspect), you might want to add "radius" to the text. [Huh, so that's the original text's wording? Tells you how much I use Gibbering Mouthers.]
Flavor-wise, I don't get the DR/- that comes with an engulfed creature. Its just not making sense to me.

Other then those, I like the Gibbering Mouther. The changes to Ground Manipulation was a nice touch, and you managed to make a good looking class without going outside the bounds of the original monster. Not many that you can do that with.

EDITS:

It has the cold subtype so it gets immunity to cold from that. It gets electricity and acid resistance instead of immunity because 3 immunities at first level is too strong even with vulnerability to fire.

Oh, Bleh. I blame a late night for me missing the cold subtype bit. My bad. Still, I guess the next question is; why does it have resistances to electricity and acid at all? It doesn't make much sense flavor-wise(well, maybe a little) but it seems like other dragons don't get any other resistance beyond their immunity.

[monkman]

Grell

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Grell: A base character class.

Hit Dice: d8

{table] Level | BAB | Fort | Ref | Will | Feature
1 | +0 | +0 | +0 | +2 | Aberrant Body, Blindsight, Paralyzing Tentacles
2 | +1 | +0 | +0 | +3 | Improved Grab, Constrict, Improved Flight, +1 Dex
3 | +2 | +1 | +1 | +3 | Expert Grappler, Growth, Reach, +1 Con
[/table]

Skill Points: 2+int (x4 at level 1)
Skills: Craft, Hide, Move Silently, Listen, Profession, Spot
Proficiencies: Grell are proficient with their natural attacks.
Grell craft weapons should be in the profs.
Features:
Aberrant Body: The grell loses all racial bonuses and gains aberration traits. A grell is a small aberration with fly speed 20' (perfect). A grell is blind. A grell can still detect enemies with its blindsight ability. A grell gains natural armor equal to its Con bonus. A grell has 2 tentacles as primary natural weapons (1d3+str) and a bite as a secondary natural weapon with 0' reach (1d4+1/2str). A grell gains 1 tentacle attack each level after first, until it has 10 tentacle attacks. Its tentacles are capable of fine manipulation, but can only wield grellcraft weapons. They have electricity resistance equal to their HD.
Don't give it fly speed at level 1.Make it hover instead.

A grell is immune to paralysis.
I would have to say no immunity to paralysis and both the paralysis and the resistance to electricity should go in another ability(make one).
Blindsight (Ex): 40', +5' for each subsequent hit die.
Are grells blind?(doesn't seem like they have eyes)
Paralyzing Tentacles (Ex): 2xHDxCon modifier times per day, a grell may paralyze with one or more of its tentacle attacks for a round. Any creature hit by a grell's tentacle must make a Fortitude save or be paralyzed for 1d4 rounds (DC 10 + 1/2HD + Con modifier). Creatures struck by multiple tentacle attacks in the same round do not make multiple saving throws; instead, the DC of the save increases by 1 for each additional tentacle that hit in the same round. At 2nd level, when a creature fails his saving throw, he is paralyzed for 1d4+1 rounds; and at 3rd level, a creature that fails his saving throw is paralyzed for 2d4 rounds.
Supposedly i hit with 3 tentacles,Would it use 1 or 3 uses? As well,Specify when he can use this attack(before or after the attack rolls)
Improved Grab (Ex): To use this ability, a grell must hit an opponent of its size or smaller with a tentacle attack. It can then attempt to start a grapple as a free action without provoking attacks of opportunity. If it wins the grapple check, it establishes a hold and can constrict.

Constrict (Ex): On a successful grapple, a grell deals 1d4+str points of damage. This damage increases by a step when the grell gains a size category, and decreases by a step when the grell loses a size category. (Phrasing?)
The phrasing is good,just take out the *damage increase.... loses a size category*

Improved Flight: A 2nd-level grell's fly speed improves to 30'.
Increase the speed of 5/Hd instead of giving it 10ft.In this ability,Give it (at 4hd) a perfect maneuverability fly speed.

Expert Grappler (Ex): Grell employ their tentacles to excellent effect in grapples, using their smaller ones to assist. They gain a +1 racial bonus on all grapples per tentacle they possess.

A grell that chooses to grapple with one tentacle and remain ungrappled itself reduces the penalty for such a hold by 1 per tentacle, from the normal -20 penalty. So, for example, a grell with 10 tentacle attacks takes only a -10 penalty on holds using a single tentacle.

Growth: A 3rd-level grell grows from small to medium, along with the normal non-ability changes associated with such.

Reach: A 3rd-level grell has 10' reach with its tentacle attacks.

Grellcraft Weaponry

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Grellcraft: The grellcraft special quality may be added to any one-handed or light melee weapon. It loses its range increment, if any. Grellcraft weapons cost twice as much to make as their normal counterparts.

A grellcraft weapon alters one tentacle attack to which it is attached, rather than acting as a wielded weapon. The tentacle's type of damage, damage die, critical threat range, and critical threat multiplier change to match the weapon. It continues to be able to deliver paralysis attempts. A grell wielding a one-handed grellcraft weapon gains an additional 5' of reach with its tentacle attack.

Changelog:

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*Clarified some things.
*Changed Electricity Immunity to Electricity Resistance.
*Ctrl-X'ed paralysis immunity.
*Reduced tentacle progression so you are level 9 by the time you get all 10 tentacles.
*Removed simple weapon proficiencies. Feral grell do not use weapons. Subject to change.
--
*Elaborated on grellcraft weaponry.
--
*Recombined Expert Grappler and Skillful Grappler into 3rd-level Expert Grappler.
*Put paralysis immunity back under aberrant body because I'm not sure where else it elegantly fits.

Another review.

[Betropper]

Made some changes to the Gibbering Mouther.

[monkman]

I'm going to keep the T-Rex/Black Dragon as little projects to do at a later date/a rainy day, so for now my second (and final for now) contribution..........

Umber Hulk

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Hit Dice: d8

{table=head]Level|Base Attack Bonus|Fort Save|Ref Save|Will Save|Class Features

1st|

+0

|

+2

|

+0

|

+0

|Umber Body, Object=Pain

2nd|

+1

|

+3

|

+0

|

+0

|Confusing Gaze

3rd|

+2

|

+3

|

+1

|

+1

|Grab and Smash, Tremorsense

4th|

+3

|

+4

|

+1

|

+1

|Growth, Wreck the Earth

5th|

+3

|

+4

|

+1

|

+1

|HULK SMASH!, Object=PAIN!

6th|

+4

|

+5

|

+2

|

+2

|WAAAARRRRGGGG!!!!!

7th|

+5

|

+

|

+2

|

+2

|Tools of the Trade[/table]
Str bonus?
Skills Points at 1st Level: (2+Intelligence Modifier) x 4
Skills Points at Each Level: (2+Intelligence Modifier)
Class Skills: The Umber Hulk’s class skills (and the key ability for each skill) are Balance (Dex), Climb (Str), Intimidate (Cha), Jump (Str), Listen (Wis), Move Silently (Dex), Ride (Dex), Search (Int), Spot (Wis), Survival (Wis), Swim (Str), Tumble (Dex).

Proficiencies: The Umber Hulk gains proficiency with it's natural attacks, and all simple weaponry.
Say that is also get profs with any weapon made from the*tools of the trade*Class Features: The following are the Class Features of the Umber Hulk.

Umber Body: The Umber Hulk loses all previous racial traits and gains the Aberration Type. It gains a Land Speed and Burrow Speed of 20ft, and it also gains 2 primary claw attacks dealing 1d4+1.5 STR Mod, and a secondary bite attack dealing 1d8+1/2 Str Mod.
I would think that it would be able to do slam attacks as well as claws,let the person choose which one he wants,I would also change the damage to 1d6 for the claws/slam.
Is it able to do fine manipulation as well as wearing armor?
Where the natural armor?

Object=Pain: The Umber Hulk takes no penalty whatsoever for using Improvised Weapons, and may use a willing person/unconcious person/dead corpse as an Improvised Weapon dealing damage equal to a Quarterstaff of the appropriate size, and with a damage bonus equal to the person's/body's HD/4. You may not wield a body that is too big for your size.

Class Feature: At 2nd level the Umber Hulk gains a Gaze Attack that is as Lesser Confusion, with a DC of (10+1/2HD+WIS Mod). At 7th level, this is upgraded to Confusion.
Class feature? What action is this? and how many times per day Can he use this?

Grab and Smash: At 3rd level, when you suceed on an opposed grapple check to pin an opponent, you may make an immediate full attack as an immediate action.
I think allowing a free bite attack,Would be better,As well as making the opponent flat footed for the attack..

Tremorsense: At 3rd level, you gain Tremorsense equal to your HD*5ft

Growth: At 4th level, the Umber Hulk grows to Large Size.

Wreck the Earth: At 4th level, you may slam your arms into the ground and break the earth beneath you. As a standard action, you may slam your arms into the ground, and create a HDft*HDft*HDft circle of Difficult Terrain centered on you. Anyone in your range when you do this must make a Balance Check equal to half your STR score, or be shunted 5ft backwards and knocked prone for 1 round, thrown into the air in a brutal manner. At 8HD, and every 6HD after that, increase the time victims spend prone by one round.
When you use this ability at 12HD, all flying creatures 100ft and below within a HD*5 radius must make a Reflex save equal to your STR score, or fall out of the sky, hit the ground and take falling damage.
HdXhdXhd??What? Make the range HDxStr score(in ft)
Save should be a reflex save.
Dc should be 10+1/2HD +str modifier.
Does the difficult terrain ever re become It's normal state?
I would take out the ability to affect flying(it's not a sonic attack)
HULK SMASH!: At 5th level, you gain the Rage ability of a Barbarian, with your effective Barbarian level equalling your HD-4. You do not gain improved versions of Rage like normal Barbarians, but you do get increased uses as you level up, like a Barbarian. These uses of Rage stack with other Rage/Frenzy abilities from other classes. Also, while in a Rage, you may ignore an amount of Hardness Points equal to your STR Mod. At 10HD, you do not become fatigued at the end of a Rage.
Would i be able to take this class to be able to multiclass into something that needs rage?(frenzied berserk?)
What happens if the creature is already an barbarian?
Is shouldn't stack for frenzy,Only for rages.
Object=PAIN!: At 5th level, you gain a morale bonus to your attack rolls equal to your HD/4(Rounded down) when wielding an Improvised Weapon.

WAAAARRRRGGGG!: At 6th level, when you would only have 25% or less Hit Points left, you gain a bonus to your STR score, equal to your HD-5. This lasts for one hour after it is activated.
Maybe allow a consitution score as well?

Tools of the Trade: At 7th level, you can prove all the nay-sayers wrong and prove you are NOT a dummie! Your clever! By spending one minute gathering, and making a DC 15 Survival Check, you may make a weapon out of scraps. You may make any Melee Weapon with a base value of 100gp or less, you are always considered proficient with your Gathered Weapon, but you may treat it as an Improvised Weapon to gain the bonus from your Object=PAIN! ability. If someone else would wield your weapon, or would leave it unattended, it falls apart in one round unless it is re-taken. The parts fall harmlessly on a square ajacent, and if you are next to your scraps, you may collect them up (1lb Small Object) and either store them for later, or make a weapon straight away. If you already have a pile of scraps, you do not need to make a Survival Check, and it only takes one round to construct. You may only have one pile of scraps at a time.
Allow it only martial and simple weapons,I know of quite alot of exotic weapons worth 100 gp and less.

At 7th level, the weapon you construct is a +2 Wounding Weapon
At 10HD, your weapon is a +3 Wounding, Throwing and Returning Weapon
At 15HD, your weapon is a +4 Wounding Throwing Returning Keen Weapon
At 20HD and above, your weapon is a +5 Vorpal Wounding Throwing and Returning Weapon
I think that this is too overpowered and some abilities are quite useless.
Allow it an enchacement bonus equal to Hd/4. And a propriety bonus equal to Hd/4 but only allow certain things,(wounding,Collision and things like that)
Comments/Changelog:

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Comments
It's big, it's strong, and it's gre.....buggy looking. He can hit things reliably with your friends, or with junk left on the floor, and if he's not threatening your square, he can still hit you out of the sky at higher levels. Hopefully.

Changelog

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None as yet.

Nice creature,Gecko,Do you still remember your capstone for your Ultroloth(It was something about getting an Marraenoloth or something like that for an companion)If you do Would you mind writing here or Pm it(it doesn't matter if you forgot it)

[Betropper]

Nice creature,Gecko,Do you still remember your capstone for your Ultroloth(It was something about getting an Marraenoloth or something like that for an companion)If you do Would you mind writing here or Pm it(it doesn't matter if you forgot it)

On a roll, are you? third or so critique today?

[Mystic Muse]

Oh, Bleh. I blame a late night for me missing the cold subtype bit. My bad. Still, I guess the next question is; why does it have resistances to electricity and acid at all? It doesn't make much sense flavor-wise(well, maybe a little) but it seems like other dragons don't get any other resistance beyond their immunity.

Probably because the monster itself has them. They aren't really that powerful and are easy to outclass with items so I don't really see a problem with them.

[monkman]

Phew, did it pretty fast, although it admittedly might be a bit OP.

Gibbering Mouther

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Hit Dice:d8

{table=head]Level|Base Attack Bonus|Fort Save|Ref Save|Will Save|Class Features

1st|+1|+1|+1|+0|Strange Body, Blood Drain

2nd|+2|+2|+2|+0|Spittle

3rd|+3|+2|+2|+1|Gibbering, +1 Con

4th|+4|+3|+3|+1|Ground Manipulation

5th|+5|+3|+3|+1|Engulf, Growth[/table]
Why full bab? It would be better a 3/4 bab.
Skills Points at 1st Level: (2+Intelligence Modifier)x4
Skills Points at Each Level: (2+Intelligence Modifier)
Class Skills: The Gibbering Mouther’s class skills (and the key ability for each skill) are Knowledge(Dungeoneering)(Int) Survival (Wis) Escape Artist (Dex) Listen (Wis) Spot (Wis)

Proficiencies: The Gibbering Mouther gains proficiency with it's own natural weapons.

Gibbering Mouther Class Features: The following are the Class Features of the Gibbering Mouther. [/B]??

Strange Body:Starting at 1st level the Gibbering Mouther loses all racial traits and gains Aberration traits. He cannot be flanked and is not subject to critical hits. He gains two bite attacks that deal 1d4+Str damage, and gain another every 2 HD. It gains a natural AC bonus equal to it's Con modifier.
Fine manipulation?Armor??

Blood Drain:A 1st level Gibbering Mouther can drain blood from his victims. If he hits with his bite attack, he can latch on as a move action (if he has one to expend). This becomes a free action at level 5. Next turn, the creature the Mouther is latched on to must make a DC (10+1/2HD+Con) Str check or Reflex save (creature's choice) or take 1d4 points of damage Per mouth? and cannot move. The Mouther then gains the same amount of HP. If he succeeds, the mouth is removed. Add an extra d4 for damage per 5 HD. The Gibbering Mouther loses one bite attack for each mouth latched on at the time.

Spittle: A 2nd level Gibbering Mouther can emit a spittle of acid as a standard action. This ranged touch attack deals 1d6 acid damage per 2 HD to a creature within 30 feet. At 5th level the creature must make a Will save (DC 10+1/2HD+Con) or be blinded for 1d4 rounds.
I think a reflex save would be more appropriate here.Gibbering:At 3rd level Gibbering Mouther can emit a random cacophony of nonsense. One per day per 3 HD the Gibbering Mouther may force all creatures in a 60 foot radius to make a DC (10+1/2HD+Con) Will save. If they fail, they are affected as per the spell Confusion for 1 round per HD. This is a sonic mind-affecting compulsion effect. At 15 HD this becomes Insanity, and at 20 HD Weird.
I think that the save should be 10+1/2HD +cha modifer (the con dosnt have a place here)
Say that the caster level is his Hd.
I would suggest to take out the bolded part as it has no point in being there.

Ground Manipulation: At 4th level a Gibbering Mouther can manipulate the ground itself. As a full round action, a Gibbering Mouther of 4th level can cause stone and earth in a 10 foot radius per 4 HD to become quicksand. Anyone other than the Gibbering Mouther in that area must treat moving a single square as moving two squares. This lasts for three rounds.
Squares? I think that saying that it makes the ground, Difficult terrain would be better.
I think that it should last A number of rounds equal to Half it's Hd.
How many times can it use it a day?Engulf: A 5th level Gibbering Mouther can engulf opponents he has gripped. If an opponent that is equal to or smaller than the Gibbering Mouther that is gripped using Blood Drain has failed it's save two times, the opponent falls into the Gibbering Mouther and is engulfed. The creature is still subject to Blood Drain and cannot attack from within. They can escape by making their saving throw against the effects of blood drain. During this time period, the Gibbering Mouther regains use of the mouth it was gripping with and gains DR/- equal to half the engulfed creature's HD. Only one creature can be engulfed at a time.

Growth: A 5th level Gibbering Mouther becomes Large. At 15 HD it becomes Huge.

Comments/Changelog:

Comments

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I'm not sure if this guy is overpowered, I'll see what the community has to say.

Changelog

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Dec. 8, 2010: Fixed up some grammar and buffed up Spittle and Blood Drain
Dec 9, 2010: Made some specifications to Spittle, Blood Drain, and Ground Manipulation.
Lowered the DC for all class abilities a bit.

Well here's your critic my friend.

[Magicyop]

Maug

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{table=head]Level|BAB|Fort|Ref|Will|Special

1st|

+1

|

+0

|

+0

|

+0

| Construct Body,Pulverize,+1Str
2nd|

+2

|

+0

|

+0

|

+0

|Graft,+1Str
3rd|

+3

|

+1

|

+1

|

+1

|Rapid Repair,Growth +1str
[/table]
HD=D10

Skills 2+int modifier(x4 at first lv) Class skills Craft,Intimidate,Knowledge(architecture andengineering),Listen,Profession (siege engineer and soldier),Spot, Survival

Proficiencies: A maug gains proficiency with all armor,all sheild(including tower shields) simple and martial weapons

Construct Body :The Maug loses all racial modifiers and receives the Construct type (which grants darkvision 60'), medium size, 40 ft. land speed, and 2 natural slam attacks dealing 1d8+strength modifier damage.A maug is able to wear armor.

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• No Constitution score.

• Darkvision out to 60 feet.

• Immunity to all mind-affecting effects (charms, compulsions, phantasms, patterns, and morale effects).

• Immunity to poison, sleep effects, paralysis, stunning, disease, death effects, and necromancy effects.

• Not subject to critical hits, nonlethal damage, ability drain, ability damage, fatigue or exhaustion, or energy drain

• Immunity to any effect that requires a Fortitude save (unless the effect also works on objects or is harmless).

• Not at risk of death from massive damage, but when reduced to 0 hit points or less, it is immediately destroyed

• Never being alive to begin with, a construct cannot be raised or resurrected. It can only be revived by a wish, limited wish, miracle, or by reconstructing the Maug's body (requiring 10000 gp worth of specially treated alloys- or the golem's previous body, and a DC 18 Stonecrafting check) and then a reincarnate spell, which will always put the Maug's soul into the new effigy.

• Constructs does not breathe, eat, or sleep.

A maug also gains natural armor equal to it’s strength modifier

The maugs also get a +4 bonus to Craft (stonemasonry) and Knowledge (architecture and engineering) checks.

The Golem also gains +1 HP per HD at 5 HD. This bonus increases to +2 at 10 HD, +3 at 15 HD, and +4 at 20 HD. I suggest you give some love to epic level adventurers and just say, "A bonus of +1 HP per HD, for every 5 HD you have." That way at level 25 it becomes +5, at level 30 it becomes +6, etc.

Pulverize: 1 time per Hd per day. A maug is able to overcome any DR and hardness of an object or creature with all it's attack for 1 round. Action? Free, I assume.

Rapid Repair: A Maug gains fast healing equal to half his HD.

Growth: A muag grows to large size.

Grafts:
Graft should be an actual class feature. Just explain that they get their choice of the following and give the list.

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Shoving arm
The shoving arm is attached to the waist of a maug. This arm allows the maug to make a bull rushed attack with no attack of oppertunity each round.It also gives a bonus to bull rush attemps equal to the maug's HD.

Nice, cool and useful!


Shudder plate
A maug with a shudder plate gains the tremorsense ability with a range of 5ft/3HD.The shudder plate takes no item slot and it still permits the wear of armor.
The range is kind of limited. Fun, but limited. Maybe bring it up to 5 ft/2 HD?


Wrist Razors:
Various retractable spikes, blades and appendages spring out from around and on the maug's hand: its slam attacks now deal piercing and slashing.The damage of the maug's slam also increase by one step.

Long Legs:
The Maug gains Run as a bonus feat, gets a bonus to jump checks equal to 1/2 his HD, and gains a +10' bonus to move speed.
Awesome.


Stone Spiliter
With the stone spilter graft a maug is now able to fire bullets that damage 1d6 (for a medium sized maug) with a critical of 19/20X2. A maug is able to fire 1 bullet a round.It can hold up to 50 sling bullets.This graft reloads automaticly.
Fun! Specify what action this is. I recommend essentially giving them an extra attack with their bullet, on top of whatever attack they make that round. Like the wrist-mounted crossbows of the Iron Golem.

Grappling Hook:
The Maug gains a chain & hook attached to his palm and spooled in his arm, which he can launch up to a distance of 30 feet plus 5 per HD, as a ranged touch attack. If successful, the Maug makes a grapple check as if he had the improved grapple feat. If successful, the foe is dragged into the Maug's square or the Maug is dragged to the foe's square (Maug's choice), and the grapple goes on as normal.
An additional application of this upgrade allows the Maug to deal an additional 1d8+strength modifier (or 2d6+str if large sized) constriction damage each turn of the grapple.

Overall, looks like a great class, very much "Iron Golem Lite", for those who want a little bit more "sturdy" and less "magic resistant". I think you should allow them to spend feats on upgrades like the Iron Golem gets, but that's just me.

I like it though, it's really neat.

[AustontheGreat1]

I agree completely. One of the biggest problems at the moment is not everyone has given their permission for us to link their classes, so most of the ones up there are Oslecamo's. While our focus will be on new monster classes, it's definitely worth the time to go back and revise the old ones.

You can use any of mine that you think are worth using.

[TheGeckoKing]

@Monkman

Thanks for that review, made all the changes bar one - The Umber Hulk can still slam people out the sky. I'm not going to budge on that because if there's one thing I think Melee gets ganked by, it's fliers. On a lighter note, added the Mult Beatdown and the Pimp My Beatstick feats.

[NecroticPunch]

I would like to formally request the creation of an Ak'chazar Rakshasa monster class.

That is all.

Reposting this since the guy who claimed it got banned.

[Kajhera]

Another review.

Thanks. Made at least an effort to implement your suggestions, clarified and changed phrasings as needed.

[Betropper]

Well here's your critic my friend.

Didn't notice some of those details thanks for pointing them out. I also buffed up Engulf a bit because it seemed to be lacking since they only need to make one saving throw to get out and it takes two failed ones (exactly the same) to be engulfed.

[Rumel]

WereScorpion

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Prerequisites
To become a WereScorpion, the character must meet the following requirements

Race: Any Medium or Large humanoid or giant.
Special: Must have been injured by the natural attack of another WereScorpion.

HD: d8

{table=head]Level|Base Attack Bonus|Fort Save|Ref Save|Will Save|Special

1st|

+1

|

+2

|

+2

|

+0

| Alternate form Scorpion, Scorpion empathy, Lunar body, Scorpion Senses, Poison

2nd|

+2

|

+3

|

+3

|

+0

| Alternate form (Hybrid), Lunar hide

3rd|

+3

|

+3

|

+3

|

+0

| +1 Dex, Whip Tail, Size

4th|

+4

|

+4

|

+4

|

+1

| Curse of Entomnothropy, Adaptive [/table]
Skills Points at Each Level: 2+Int mod (x4 at 1st HD)

Class Skills: The WereScorpion’s class skills (and the key ability for each skill) are Handle Animal (Wis), Intimidate (Cha), Knowledge (Nature) (Int), Listen (Wis), Spot (Wis), Survival (Wis), Jump (Str), Climb (Str), Hide (Dex)

Proficiencies: A WereScorpion gains proficiency with its own natural weapons, but not with armor or shields.

Class Features: The following are the Class Features of the WereScorpion...

Lunar Body: The WereScorpion retains all of its old racial modifiers and gains the (Shapechanger) subtype. It gains Darkvison 60 Ft if it did not already possess it. A WereScorpion gains a bonus to natural armor equal to its constitution modifier while in Alternate Form (See Below). While in Humanoid form the WereScorpion gains a bonus to natural armor equal to half its constitution modifier. The WereScorpion is never considered mindless.

Alternate Form: At first level, the WereScorpion gains a Medium size Scorpion Alternate Form. While in Scorpion form, the WereScorpion cannot use weapons or do anything requiring the use of hands or feet, but gains two claw attacks for 1d4+Str mod damage each and a sting attack dealing 1d6+1.5xStr mod damage. While in Scorpion form the WereScorpion’s movement speed is 30ft, with a climb speed equal to his base land speed. A WereScorpion may assume this form 1/day/HD

At second level, the WereScorpion can assume a Medium Hybrid form, between its Scorpion form and its Humanoid Form. While in Hybrid form, the WereScorpion gains two claw attacks dealing 1d4+1/2xStr mod damage and a sting attack dealing 1d6+Str mod damage, as well as the same movement speeds, however the WereScorpion retains its abilities to manipulate objects, use weapons, and speak.

Assuming an Alternate form, or dismissing it, is a Full-Round Action that provokes an attack of opportunity. At 7 HD this changes to a Standard Action and at 14 HD this changes to a Move Action, at 20 HD this changes to a Swift Action.

A WereScorpion can assume its Alternate Form 1/day/HD, and can remain transformed indefinitely.

For every level of WereScorpion, or for every two in another class, the WereScorpion's Alternate Forms improve as shown below.

{table] [Entomanothrope] Level+ 1/2 HD of other Levels|Ability Improvements
1|+1 Dex
2|+2 Dex
3|+2 Dex, +1 Con
4|+3 Dex, +1 Con
5|+4 Dex, +1 Con
6|+4 Dex, +2 Con
7|+5 Dex, +2 Con
8|+6 Dex, +2 Con
9|+6 Dex, +3 Con
10|+7 Dex, +3 Con
11|+8 Dex, +3 Con
12|+8 Dex, +4 Con[/table]

Scorpion Empathy: The WereScorpion can communicate with Scorpions, and other Scorpion like Magical Beasts, regardless of form and gains a +4 bonus on Charisma based checks to influence such Vermin, however the WereScorpion gains no such bonus on influencing Magical Beasts.

Scorpion Senses: Beginning at first level the WereScorpion, while in Scorpion form gains Tremorsense out to 5 ft per HD and gains a bonus on Jump checks equal to its HD. At second level the WereScorpion gains the full benefits of Scorpion Senses regardless of form. (Including Skill Bonus).

Poison: At first level, while the WereScorpion is in Scorpion Alternate form, it gains a poison dealing 1d4 Con damage as Primary and Secondary damage, with a Fort save negating. (DC=10+1/2HD+Con mod). Ever 4 Hit Die the WereScorpion has increases the poison die by one size. He has enough venom to do this 1/day/HD.

Lunar Hide At second level, while in either Scorpion or Hybrid form, the WereScorpion gains DR/Silver equal to its HD/2.

Ability Score Increase: At third level the WereScorpion gains a +1 increase to the Dex Ability Score in all forms.

Size: At third level, a WereScorpion’s Scorpion or Hybrid forms may be Medium or Large. The WereScorpion chooses its size each time it assumes one of its Alternate Forms.

When A WereScorpion changes size its natural attacks are re-sized for appropriate damage. For every size increase beyond Medium the Lycanthrope gains a +1 bonus to Natural Armor Class while in Alternate Form.

A WereScorpion of 12 HD or more may choose to become Huge by expending two normal transformations.

A WereScorpion of 16 HD or more may choose to become Gargantuan by expending two normal transformations.

A WereScorpion of 20 HD or more may choose to become Colossal by expending four normal transformations.

Whip Tail: At third level the WereScorpion gains an improved sting attack, which now may be used as if it were a whip for trip or other standard whip bonuses and it becomes a reach weapon with an increased range of 5ft per 4HD. This only functions while it is in Scorpion Alternate Form.

Adaptive: At fourth level the WereScorpion gains the Whip Tail ability while in Hybrid form and his poison may also be injected by his Slashing or Piercing weapons.

Curse of Entomanothropy: At fourth level the WereScorpion can transmit Entomanothropy to other creatures. If a Humanoid or Giant of (the same sizes as the Prerequisites for this class) is hit by the WereScorpion’s natural attacks while it is in either Alternate form, the struck creature must make a fortitude save (DC 10+1/2 the WereScorpion’s HD+ Constitution modifier) or contract Entomanothropy. Entomanothropy Functions exactly as Lycanthropy except as noted above. For more information on Entomanothropy, check the Lycanthrope entry in the monster manual.

[Betropper]

The WereScorpion

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Class

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Prerequisites
To become a WereScorpion, the character must meet the following requirements

Race: Any medium or large humanoid or giant
Special:Must have been injured by the natural attack of another WereScorpion and contracted Entomanothropy.
HD:d8
{table=head]Level|BAB|Fort|Ref|Will|Special

1st|

+1

|

+2

|

+2

|

+0

|Alternate form(Scorpion), Scorpion Empathy, Lunar body, Poison
2nd|

+2

|

+3

|

+3

|

+0

|Alternate form(hybrid), Scorpion Traits
3rd|

+3

|

+3

|

+3

|

+1

|Growth, Greater Scorpion
4th|

+4

|

+4

|

+4

|

+1

|Curse of lycanthropy, Sharpened Tail [/table]
Skills: 2+int mod. Class skills are Intimidate (Cha), jump (Str), hide (Dex), listen (Wis), move silently (Dex), spot (Wis), survival (Wis), Climb (Str), Escape Artist (Dex), Listen (Wis), Search (Int), Tumble (Dex).
Think you are missing a few

Proficiencies: A WereScorpion gains proficiency with their own natural weapons

Features:

Lunar body(ex): WereScorpions retain old racial modifiers and gain the Shapechanger subtype. They gain low-light vision and Dark-vision 60ft if they did not already possess it.

A WereScorpion gains natural armor equal to its Con bonus while in Scorpion or hybrid form. While in humanoid form their natural armor is equal to half their Con bonus

Scorpion Empathy: a WereScorpion can communicate with Scorpion like beasts and gains a +4 bonus on charisma based checks to influence them, also he may communicate with Scorpion like Magical Beasts, all regardless of form.

Alternate Form (Su): At first level, a WereScorpion can take Monstrous Scorpion form. While in Scorpion form, a WereScorpion cannot use weapons, because of his giant claws, but gains two claw attacks dealing 1d4+Str Mod damage and a sting attack dealing 1d6+ 1.5xStr mod piercing damage. A WereScorpion can transform 1/day/HD, and can remain transformed indefinitely.


For every level in WereScorpion, or for every two in another class, the WereScorpion's alternate form improves as shown below
{table]WereScorpion level+1/2 other levels | Ability improvements
1|+1 Dex
2|+1 Dex, +1 Con
3|+2 Dex, +1 Con
4|+2 Dex, +2 Con
5|+3 Dex, +2 Con
6|+3 Dex, +3 Con
7|+4 Dex, +3 Con
8|+4 Dex, +4 Con
9|+5 Dex, +4 Con
10|+5 Dex, +5 Con
11|+6 Dex, +5 Con
12|+6 Dex, +6 Con [/table]

At second level, a WereScorpion can assume hybrid form. While in hybrid form, a WereScorpion gains two claw attacks for 1d4+ 1/2xStr mod damage each and a sting attack dealing 1d6+Str mod damage, and can wield any weapons they could use in humanoid form. Both alternate forms are medium sized, regardless of the creature's humanoid size.

Poison: At first level, While the WereScorpion is in Scorpion (or Hybrid) form its sting attack may inflict poison 1/day/HD. (DC 10+1/2 HD+Constitution Modifier and causes 1d4 constitution damage as Initial and Secondary damage. At every 4 HD this damage increases in size.) 2d4 Con damage at first level? Also, you forgot to name the type of save.

Scorpion Traits: a WereScorpion gains a bonus to Jump and Climb equal to 1/2 his HD. Also, he gains Weapon Finnese as a bonus feat for all of his natural weapons.

Growth: At 3rd level, a WereScorpion's alternate forms may become Large if desired, though it may still become Medium.

A WereScorpion of 12 HD or more may choose to become Huge by expending two normal transformations.


A WereScorpion of 16 HD or more may choose to become Gargantuan by expending three normal transformations.


A WereScorpion of 20 HD or more may choose to become Collosal by expending four normal transformations.

Greater Scorpion: A WereScorpion gains benefits from his powers. He may replace his Str mod with Dex for damage with his tail (and may add it to his claws at 12 HD).
The new rules say that you should have an animal-only power at 3rd level, and a hybrid-only one at fourth.

Curse of lycanthropy: At 4th level a WereScorpion can transmit lycanthropy to other creatures. If a medium or large humanoid or giant is hit by their natural attacks while they are in alternate form, the creature must make a fortitude save(DC10+1/2HD+Con modifier) or contract lycanthropy. For more information on lycanthropy, check the lycanthrope entry in the monster manual.

Whip Tail: At 4th level a WereScorpion’s tail becomes even more deadly. Their tail improves by one step. It also gains an improved reach of +5ft and every 10hd it gains a 5ft bonus to a max of +15ft at 20 HD. Any feats or powers that affect a whip will work on it's tail and it may use any Bonuses a whip gets such as the ability to tril and disarm.
same as above

CHANGELOG:

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•None yet (in this thread)

Since I'm not good at critiquing I'll just grade the obvious ones.

[FishAreWet]

@Werescorpion, why not allow smaller alternate forms as well?

[Zemro]

@monkman: Thanks for the critique, I found it quite valid and have addressed the points you brought up.

@Everyone Else: I'm going to get ready for some more critique of the newer monsters over the weekend. Until then, if you wouldn't mind looking over the Thorn class and either making suggestions or nominations if you have no suggestions.