Erfworld, The Thread.

[Coidzor]

My heart strings, they are tugged.

[herrhauptmann]

We're just all too Genre Savvy and know he'll turn out as the villain eventually.

Not really sure if there's any 'villain' in this one. Just people, who are all on different sides, and have different viewpoints and personalities.

Transylvito wasn't the only one charged very high.
But i didn't say "hate". You don't necessarily hate a mercenary, but certainly you don't trust him, 'specially if he's known to raise the price of it's services during a war campaign, when you're in trouble.

The 'outrageous' wasn't the monetary cost. It was an added requirement that they capture Hamster alive with all his gear. Something Ansom didn't like, probably for a few reasons. 1)He hates Parson. 2)Believes that the only units worth capturing are casters and royals. 3) Doesnt' like the idea of potentially facing off against a Hamster commanding a bunch of Archons

Charlie is hated/mistrusted because Wanda/Stanley are pushing their "The arkentools are the new Titanic Mandate" agenda, and Charlie happens to have an arkentool, so everyone is assuming he's on their side. I believe Jetstone was the main pusher of the rumors of said supposed alliance, but I'd have to go digging through updates to confirm.

Which doesn't really refute anything you quoted. And is something I said on the 22nd. Regarding Toolism.


Just thought of something, why it's easier to trust someone who signs a contract in Erfworld.
1-Most contracts probably have a clause which penalizes someone if they break it. So once you've got a contract with Charlie, you can trust him to follow it to the letter (if not the spirit/intent). And yes, that's already been said.
2-When you buy Charlies services, you 'ally' with him, which has several effects that can be determined metagame. Such as turn order getting moved around. Charlie can't hire himself out to both sides of a conflict, because then they'd find themselves going on the same turn, rather than before or after one another.

[ChowGuy]

Charlie can't hire himself out to both sides of a conflict, because then they'd find themselves going on the same turn, rather than before or after one another.

Yes he can. There is even a provision in the "full services" contract that explicitly allows for this.

From Summer Update #46:

Faced for the first time with the question of how to deal with one, they had elected to treat Parson and any other warlord of Gobwin Knob as clients who had paid for "full service." This was an incredibly expensive option that few of Charlie's customers ever went for. It amounted to "the Archon(s) will act as if their Duty is to the client, and will follow any orders, including attacking Charlescomm units." There was also no penalty clause for losing them in battle. The client paid only while the Archons lived.

[Killer Angel]

The 'outrageous' wasn't the monetary cost. It was an added requirement that they capture Hamster alive with all his gear.

True but, nonetheless, it's an example of Charlie requesting more than the expected.
Now that I'm thinking on it, Charlie treated also Prince Sammy as a puppet... He wasn't working for Haggar, but again, this fueled his not-so-good reputation.

[mp122984]

I'm reminded of the whole incident at the choke point.

Page 99: A plan is hatched: Jetstone releases Charlescomm from their contract, allowing Charlescomm to join with Transylvito and pound Stanley into the ground. Presumably, no one finalizes the offer with Charley - They must have assumed he'd be reasonable about being paid to take part in it.

Page 100: Charlie, once freed, almost immediately uses the opportunity to deal with Parson himself.

Page 103: Charlie bargains with Parson, winning 12 calculations in the process.

Page 107: Charlie keeps his side of the deal by gouging the initial plan to death. This allows Stanley to survive and keeps his side alive.

Page 105: Meanwhile, Charlie comes just short of taking the garrison himself, only backing away to see what Parson can do (i.e. his archons are going to stand back and watch Ansom's troops get croaked.)

And this leads to Charlie's deal with Ansom - He gets paid to make it a no-lose situation.

Charlie's used to double-dealing without losing customers because, well, he'll play fair if you contract with him, right? I imagine his customer base has been a bitter one because he's held a near-monopoly (if not monopoly) on mercenary forces as strong as his. They have nowhere else to go.

Only now recent events have started to make sides think, "You know, I don't need his help that badly." When Charlie went up to GK's garrison, he hid his true goals from Ansom until it mattered most. When he went to Haggar's, it was blunt and transparent. Charlie's hurting, and he's responding kind of like how the Don responded - with risky moves that leave him exposed and may very well prove his undoing.

[Killer Angel]

New update.

Spoiler

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I fear that King Slately, won't receive the money so easily... also Don should be worried for himself, I think.

[Miklus]

Ooooh! Could this be a turning point? Don King is loosing his grip on things.

[Killer Angel]

Ooooh! Could this be a turning point? Don King is loosing his grip on things.

To be fair, we know that the mathamancer was already upset, so Don is unlucky.

[The Glyphstone]

So Ansom, in the space of two breaths, refers to himself as both Decrypted and 'Popped Again'. Interesting.

[Killer Angel]

So Ansom, in the space of two breaths, refers to himself as both Decrypted and 'Popped Again'. Interesting.

Indeed. It's also interesting his plea for help, and the supposed free will of decrypted units.
A trick or the truth? I'm more for the latter.

[factotum]

Parson has essentially just put a death warrant on Jillian's head...this could get (even more) interesting, especially if Parson survives this turn!

[sihnfahl]

Parson has essentially just put a death warrant on Jillian's head...this could get (even more) interesting, especially if Parson survives this turn!

Since Parson Gotti is the protagonist, what do you think the chances of him surviving the turn are?

[Killer Angel]

Since Parson Gotti is the protagonist, what do you think the chances of him surviving the turn are?

Certainly higher than Don King remaining on his throne...

[factotum]

Since Parson Gotti is the protagonist, what do you think the chances of him surviving the turn are?

Roy is one of the main protagonists of the Order of the Stick comic, and you may have noticed he spent quite a long time dead recently...

[Lizard Lord]

Roy is one of the main protagonists of the Order of the Stick comic, and you may have noticed he spent quite a long time dead recently...

There is only one known way for people in Erfworld to come back to life, and I really hope Parson doesn't get decrypted.

[The Glyphstone]

Roy's the lead protagonist of an ensemble. All the members of the Order have their own plotlines, stories, and jokes, which got explored in detail while he was dead.

Parson is the sole protagonist of Erfworld, everyone else is only relevant to the story in how they do/will/could aid or oppose him. Without him, there is no story.

[Jahkaivah]

There is only one known way for people in Erfworld to come back to life, and I really hope Parson doesn't get decrypted.

Though it might say something about his power in the world if he does and is able to retain his free will.

[Seerow]

Since Parson Gotti is the protagonist, what do you think the chances of him surviving the turn are?

I actually saw a pretty interesting speculation on the erf forums recently, I'm gonna copypasta it here. This was originally posted by Prime2.0:

Spoiler

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Most people here seem to be making the assumption that the battle for Jetstone will go nice and smooth, and that it being won is a complete given, and that Parson will do something extremely awesome in the process because all this buildup would be stupid otherwise.

But, one question I've yet to see asked is: What happens if Parson actually dies in the battle? It would be an insane twist in the plot for him to suddenly be offed, but the story is giving a huge amount of foreshadowing to just that; Parson is going straight into battle, and is even talking about what should be done if he dies. It would be an aborted thread if he just survived and did something that he could have done from the safety of Gobwin Knob.

So, here's my lame "what-if" scenario for Lord Hamster's fall at Jetstone.


First of all, Slately will be directly involved in Parson's death. We've seen a lot of buildup for him, so it would be a fitting(and "royal") way for Slately to die. We'd see all sorts of reactions to Parson's death., from the royals, from the magic kingdom, from Stanly, but not from Charlie even though it will be relevant to him in the extreme. What happens besides that in order to cool things off in the story for a bit is up in the air, but irrelevant; one possibility is that Parson will wake up in Stupidworld, to find that the rest of it had assumed him dead, and his gamer buddies suspected, but not proven, of being involved in that death. It's not largely relevant to what happens next, though it could easily be used to flesh out the more-or-less new characters before things get rolling back on Erf.

For some reason or another(perhaps fear of failure, given that he is "special"), Wanda will either not immediately attempt to Decrypt Parson, or will try and fail to do so. By now, Stanly has appointed a new chief warlord, who, following Parson's last directive, will attempt to defeat Jillian and FAQ from their current defensive position inside of the captured city. They will not succeed in the first turn, and Jillian will flee back south towards Jetstone, assuming that GK's forces had been dealt with. Of course, Jetstone will at this point be completely secured by almost entirely Wanda's decrypted, due to the fall exploit.

Upon meeting Wanda, Jillian will spill the beans on her alliance with Charlie, and the previously undisclosed information that would convince her to turn. Wanda defects from Gobwin Knob, sets up Jetstone as her new capital, and allies with FAQ and Charlie.

And now, either by herself, or as part of a link with Charlie and/or Jillian's turnamancer(considering the possibility that some circumstance is used to say that this was otherwise impossible previously), Wanda decrypts Parson. All effects of fanatic loyalty bordering on mind control appear to be present.

This throws the magic kingdom into a panic; with the soldier against war suddenly coopted by Charlie, The Great Minds that Think Alike make new "perfect warlord" spells, and sell them at discount. Gobwin Knob is the first to buy, being the richest side, but soon the royal coalition also receives one(though they may just as easily not, since Trem on his own may be capable of competing with people from the gaming group); this may additionally be used to introduce new sides.

But of course, there is only one Parson, and the first thing everyone will be looking for when using the Perfect Warlord spells will be someone capable of defeating him. Enter the gaming group, who may initially fight each other trying to gain the most power for themselves to beat Parson, but will rally together when it becomes clear to all sides that Charlie is an active player supporting FAQ.

In short, I'm predicting that Book 3(and possibly beyond) will be about the gaming group's fight to defeat the controlled Lord Hamster, and the ethical dilemma of possibly murdering a human from Earth merely to play their role in what appears to be a turn-based strategy game.

[Gwyn chan 'r Gwyll]

Wouldn't it be devious if Charlie got ALL the 'perfect warlords', and started hiring THEM out?

[factotum]

I love the way Sizemore is able to just wander nonchalantly along the surface while excavating a complicated underground structure as he goes!

[Killer Angel]

I love the way Sizemore is able to just wander nonchalantly along the surface while excavating a complicated underground structure as he goes!

I love the way it was drawn!
but yeah, Sizemore is really a diggin master!

[Gwyn chan 'r Gwyll]

What a boss. What a hero.

[Teln]

I'm worried about what's going on with Stanley. He's the weakest member of the Gobwin Knob triumvirate (despite being in charge of the side), and he's starting to realize this. Hamster and Wanda had better tread carefully in the future.

[Imgran]

I'm worried about what's going on with Stanley. He's the weakest member of the Gobwin Knob triumvirate (despite being in charge of the side), and he's starting to realize this. Hamster and Wanda had better tread carefully in the future.

He may be the weakest and that may be a problem, but the real problem is that he's just smart enough to know that you don't tick off the people whose job it is to save your bacon.

On the other hand, Stanley should be the one going through this portal. He really should. There's little use to being Stanley if he's not the one going through the portal. And once he realizes what the plan is, he'll realize that too, and that's where there might be trouble.

[Aidan305]

Hmmm, that's interesting.

Isn't that FAQ's old predictomancer?

[Thrawn183]

Frankly, I think that Stanley's finally about to start being a little more serious about his leadership position. Should probably make things a lot easier for our portly hero and company.

[Toxic Avenger]

On the other hand, Stanley should be the one going through this portal. He really should. There's little use to being Stanley if he's not the one going through the portal. And once he realizes what the plan is, he'll realize that too, and that's where there might be trouble.

I would totally agree with this...that is, if walking through the portal wouldn't croak him and end the side.

[John Campbell]

On the other hand, Stanley should be the one going through this portal. He really should. There's little use to being Stanley if he's not the one going through the portal. And once he realizes what the plan is, he'll realize that too, and that's where there might be trouble.

If Stanley goes through the portal, he croaks. He doesn't have Parson's special "Apparently he's a Hippiemancer? Or something?" exemption.

And without an heir, Stanley is a single point of failure for the entire side. He croaks, Gobwin Knob is done. That makes him too valuable to risk on the front lines, even if he had a way to get there off-turn, which he doesn't. Which is kind of a pity, because that looks to be where both Stanley and the Arkenhammer really belong.

[Imgran]

Mea culpa. Forgot about the portal rule.

[Aquillion]

If Stanley goes through the portal, he croaks. He doesn't have Parson's special "Apparently he's a Hippiemancer? Or something?" exemption.

Does anyone actually believe he's a Hippiemancer? I assumed that Janis simply said that because she seems to be the Chief Hippiemancer herself and that's something she therefore could claim in order to save him without risk of being contradicted.