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  1. - Top - End - #601
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Murphy's Law 6: Will we ever stop burning through threads so quickly?

    Crituique on the bonus material. Its a bit loose, and run on. It FEELS like drunken self rambling, which just doesn't work in third person. I think it would be perfect if it were rewritten in first person as his actual thoughts.
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  2. - Top - End - #602
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    Default Re: Murphy's Law 6: Will we ever stop burning through threads so quickly?

    Quote Originally Posted by leakingpen View Post
    Critique on the bonus material. Its a bit loose, and run on. It FEELS like drunken self rambling, which just doesn't work in third person. I think it would be perfect if it were rewritten in first person as his actual thoughts.
    You make a fair point but I don't know whether it would pose problems with Coffee's writing tutors or not. Third person that takes on many aspects of the first person is an established "literary voice" and is actually pretty popular in fiction generally. I personally quite like this approach but it's natural that plenty of people would prefer it if it were just first person - I don't think it would make me enjoy the content any more or less if it were third instead of third. If you want a popular example of a third person voice acting like the first person the first thing that springs to my mind is the Harry Potter series: they're written by a Scottish muggle in her thirties/forties, in the third person, but it's through Harry's English wizarding boarding student eyes that we read the vast majority of the story. The fact that Rowling used the pronoun "he" instead of "I" wasn't ever one of my problems with the series. (This technique is much older than Potter, it's just the first well known series that popped into my head for some reason).
    Not trying to be perverse here, just adding another opinion.
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  3. - Top - End - #603
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    Guys, my internet is on the fritz. It should be back up in the next day or so, I really REALLY hope it is...
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  4. - Top - End - #604
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    Quote Originally Posted by Themrys View Post
    You mean, she isn't going to sing the Discworld hedgehog song?

    And I was looking forward to finally find out what the lyrics are...
    Asta Kask had the Discworld one, the much more popular one that I've never heard of.

    I thought it was a reference to the rathergood version.

  5. - Top - End - #605
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    Ugh, I've got no internet until WEDNESDAY...
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  6. - Top - End - #606
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Murphy's Law 6: Will we ever stop burning through threads so quickly?

    Quote Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded View Post
    Ugh, I've got no internet until WEDNESDAY...
    How are you posting this?
    Quote Originally Posted by jamieth View Post
    ...though Talla does her best to sound objective and impartial, it doesn't cover stuff like "ask a 9-year-old to tank for the party."
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  7. - Top - End - #607
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    Default Re: Murphy's Law 6: Will we ever stop burning through threads so quickly?

    Quote Originally Posted by master256 View Post
    How are you posting this?
    Phone? i always do the really big faces on mah phone.
    Quote Originally Posted by Rater202 View Post
    "..And once I've killed you and crushed your heroine smuggling operations, I'm going to steal all of your filthy drug money, and use it to fund an Orphanage!! MUhahahahahahahaha!"
    I have a tumblr blog! And a wordpress! The latter is currently on hiatus

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  8. - Top - End - #608
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
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    Quote Originally Posted by HalfTangible View Post
    Phone? i always do the really big faces on mah phone.
    Ah, my phone has just calls and texts. Why do you so the bigger ones on the phone? Just that it's shorter to type (ironic, that takes more typing than ).
    Quote Originally Posted by jamieth View Post
    ...though Talla does her best to sound objective and impartial, it doesn't cover stuff like "ask a 9-year-old to tank for the party."
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  9. - Top - End - #609
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Murphy's Law 6: Will we ever stop burning through threads so quickly?

    Quote Originally Posted by master256 View Post
    Ah, my phone has just calls and texts. Why do you so the bigger ones on the phone? Just that it's shorter to type (ironic, that takes more typing than ).
    basically, yeah =P
    Quote Originally Posted by Rater202 View Post
    "..And once I've killed you and crushed your heroine smuggling operations, I'm going to steal all of your filthy drug money, and use it to fund an Orphanage!! MUhahahahahahahaha!"
    I have a tumblr blog! And a wordpress! The latter is currently on hiatus

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  10. - Top - End - #610
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    Default Re: Murphy's Law 6: Will we ever stop burning through threads so quickly?

    Quote Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded View Post
    Ugh, I've got no internet until WEDNESDAY...
    Who's your internet provider?

    *Double checks automatic weapon inventory*

  11. - Top - End - #611
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
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    Quote Originally Posted by Silverraptor View Post
    Who's your internet provider?

    *Double checks automatic weapon inventory*
    You have automatic weapons? I just sic dinosaurs on my foes.


    Countdown to the zombie Apocalypse: braaaaaaains.

  12. - Top - End - #612
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    Default Re: Murphy's Law 6: Will we ever stop burning through threads so quickly?

    Quote Originally Posted by blackjack217 View Post
    You have automatic weapons? I just sic dinosaurs on my foes.
    4 words.

    "Automatic Weapon Weilding Raptors"

    Go ahead and say that 5 times fast
    Last edited by Silverraptor; 2011-03-23 at 05:10 PM.

  13. - Top - End - #613
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Murphy's Law 6: Will we ever stop burning through threads so quickly?

    Quote Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded View Post
    Ugh, I've got no internet until WEDNESDAY...
    Feeling your pain there, man. (Although where I am, Wednesday is almost over so that seems weird just reading that now) Our internet connection is the pits. Usually it's too poor for video streaming which is unfortunate because when I was away in the big city that was how I watched most of my TV shows (official and perfectly legal streaming sites, no worries there).

    Were you able to see page three of the fancomic by the way? I've kind of been holding back page four because I was curious to see if you had any comments. Will probably finish it up soon and post it when it's done anyway though.
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  14. - Top - End - #614
    Titan in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Murphy's Law 6: Will we ever stop burning through threads so quickly?

    Quote Originally Posted by blackjack217 View Post
    You have automatic weapons? I just sic dinosaurs on my foes.
    I just get my wife.

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  15. - Top - End - #615
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    Default Re: Murphy's Law 6: Will we ever stop burning through threads so quickly?

    I'm in my mom's office. And yeah, I saw and liked.
    My webcomic!


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  16. - Top - End - #616
    Troll in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Murphy's Law 6: Will we ever stop burning through threads so quickly?

    Quote Originally Posted by Eleanor_Rigby View Post
    Feeling your pain there, man.
    Coffee is a girl, yo.

    Were you able to see page three of the fancomic by the way? I've kind of been holding back page four because I was curious to see if you had any comments. Will probably finish it up soon and post it when it's done anyway though.
    I for one think it's pretty cool. Looking forward to the last page.
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  17. - Top - End - #617
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Murphy's Law 6: Will we ever stop burning through threads so quickly?

    Quote Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded View Post
    I'm in my mom's office. And yeah, I saw and liked.
    Thanks!

    Quote Originally Posted by Marnath View Post
    Coffee is a girl, yo.
    Can't really gauge how serious you're being there (my guess is that you know I know (that I'm not telling the truth)) but I was aware, I'm just one of those people who insists on using "man, guys, and duuude" for gals as well as males. I kind of have a "thing"* about gender issues, (which is probably not evident at all in the theme of the fancomic I've been doing) pronouns and linguistics so I do this for kicks.

    Quote Originally Posted by Marnath
    I for one think it's pretty cool. Looking forward to the last page.
    Huzzah! (Seriously though, thank you for compliments )
    It's pretty far along and I'd like to think the whole thing will be wrapped up in parallel with the genuine update on Friday (assuming Coffee meant this week's Wednesday and not next week's Wednesday and that she has time to make an update) but I'm very distractable so I couldn't make any promises.

    Going to stop making posts that look like I'm fishing for praise now!

    *The "thing" there being an interest in how society reacts to gender and not any sort of resent for men or women as groups, just to be clarify I'm not a raving sexist/chauvinist/mysogynist just a rather curious person.
    Last edited by Eleanor_Rigby; 2011-03-23 at 05:51 PM. Reason: for claririficationing (mostly 'cause I spelled "theme" as "them", which may have been potentially confusing)
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  18. - Top - End - #618
    Pixie in the Playground
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    Thumbs up Re: Murphy's Law 6: Will we ever stop burning through threads so quickly?

    It's a very nice comic, but is the fact that the last one's title is "Seven Drunken Strips" when there's actually 8 some sort of pun, taking they're drunk? I couldn't help but notice that, hehe...

  19. - Top - End - #619
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Eleanor_Rigby's Avatar

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    Default Re: Murphy's Law 6: Will we ever stop burning through threads so quickly?

    Quote Originally Posted by TLMonkey View Post
    It's a very nice comic, but is the fact that the last one's title is "Seven Drunken Strips" when there's actually 8 some sort of pun, taking they're drunk? I couldn't help but notice that, hehe...
    Not impossible I guess but in general comic jargon "Seven Drunken Strips" is one strip with eight panels. I assumed the title was a reference to this rather amusing song which I think came out in the 60s.
    I'd sort of like to think we have six strips based on this arc to come now then something new as that's the closest to the title working literally that I can come up with.

    Ooh! And welcome to the thread by the way.
    Last edited by Eleanor_Rigby; 2011-03-24 at 04:51 PM.
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  20. - Top - End - #620
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    CoffeeIncluded's Avatar

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    Default Re: Murphy's Law 6: Will we ever stop burning through threads so quickly?

    Quote Originally Posted by Eleanor_Rigby View Post
    Not impossible I guess but in general comic jargon "Seven Drunken Strips" is one strip with eight panels. I assumed the title was a reference to this rather amusing song which I think came out in the 60s.
    I'd sort of like to think we have six strips based on this arc to come now then something new as that's the closest to the title working literally that I can come up with.

    Ooh! And welcome to the thread by the way.
    Yeah, that's the reference! And welcome, TLMonkey, and thanks for reading!
    My webcomic!


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  21. - Top - End - #621
    Pixie in the Playground
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    Default Re: Murphy's Law 6: Will we ever stop burning through threads so quickly?

    Quote Originally Posted by Eleanor_Rigby View Post
    In general comic jargon "Seven Drunken Strips" is one strip with eight panels.
    Ooh! And welcome to the thread by the way.
    Really? I guess I'll have to Google the comic jargon, see what I can find! Thanks for the explanation!

    Quote Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded View Post
    And welcome, TLMonkey, and thanks for reading!
    And thanks to you, for drawing-writing-inkscaping (the one I use, don't know if you also do) this! But I think the best way to thank us readers is (I know most, if not all, of them are going to agree on this) to make another strip! Now, jokes aside, keep up the good work.

  22. - Top - End - #622
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    blackjack217's Avatar

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    Default Re: Murphy's Law 6: Will we ever stop burning through threads so quickly?

    New reader. Yay!


    Countdown to the zombie Apocalypse: braaaaaaains.

  23. - Top - End - #623
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    CoffeeIncluded's Avatar

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    Default Re: Murphy's Law 6: Will we ever stop burning through threads so quickly?

    Guys, I don't know if I'll be able to finish today's update before I have to go home, where there's no internet. If this is the case, I can't update until tomorrow. Sorry.
    My webcomic!


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  24. - Top - End - #624
    Troll in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Murphy's Law 6: Will we ever stop burning through threads so quickly?

    Quote Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded View Post
    Guys, I don't know if I'll be able to finish today's update before I have to go home, where there's no internet. If this is the case, I can't update until tomorrow. Sorry.
    Don't stress out over it, we won't wither away and die if you can't get it done today.
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  25. - Top - End - #625
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Murphy's Law 6: Will we ever stop burning through threads so quickly?

    Quote Originally Posted by Marnath View Post
    Don't stress out over it, we won't wither away and die if you can't get it done today.
    After all happiness is mandatory.


    Countdown to the zombie Apocalypse: braaaaaaains.

  26. - Top - End - #626
    Titan in the Playground
     
    CoffeeIncluded's Avatar

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    Default Re: Murphy's Law 6: Will we ever stop burning through threads so quickly?

    I can't update until late morning tomorrow. Sorry about that.
    My webcomic!


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  27. - Top - End - #627
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Herpestidae's Avatar

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    Default Re: Murphy's Law 6: Will we ever stop burning through threads so quickly?

    *cracks whip*

    You will stop apologizing this instant, young lady. You are under absolutely no obligation to continue this comic, and should not feel bad for not putting it up. I, for one, will not hate you if you never made another comic again.

    That being said, never stop making these.

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  28. - Top - End - #628
    Ettin in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Murphy's Law 6: Will we ever stop burning through threads so quickly?

    Quote Originally Posted by blackjack217 View Post
    After all happiness is mandatory.
    Murphy's Law 7: Happiness is mandatory.
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  29. - Top - End - #629
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Murphy's Law 6: Will we ever stop burning through threads so quickly?

    Quote Originally Posted by Gicko View Post
    Murphy's Law 7: Happiness is mandatory.
    Murpy's law 8: Failure to be happy is treason.


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  30. - Top - End - #630
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    Default Re: Murphy's Law 6: Will we ever stop burning through threads so quickly?

    Murphy's Law 9: Treason is Punishable By Death
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