You in the movies

[Orzel]

Friend 1: If you were in a movie, you'd bring knives to a gunfight.
Friend 2: Not just knives. Acidic exploding knives.
Me: No, that makes no sense. One corrosive knife and one explosive one. And a candy one if I get hungry.
Friend 1: If you get hungry?

So, had a conversation about what kind of character I would be if I were in a movie. After the conversation was derailed and a day went by, I revisited the thought.

What would I look like if my personality was jammed in a 1 1/2 to 2 1/2 hour segment?

Action: In an action movie, I'll be different just to be different and struggle to make it work. I'll try my hardest to be the only guy in the western who doesn't use guns.

Horror: If I am still alive by the halfway point, expect me to attack the monster. I hate running that much.

Action or Horror: The director will have to kill me off, due to my revealing of holes in the story. "That doesn't make sense because..." is a favorite real life phrase of mine.

Comedy: I will get hurt or attacked in a funny way (due to my inability to catch objects thrown toward my face). Well funny for the audience, I will be pretty mad. Someone else might get hurt.

Drama: My lack of or excess amounts of emotion will be a major aspect of my character. I either care too much or don't at all.

How would you look if compressed and placed in a movie?

[Zaydos]

Action: Idealistic character who wants to be a hero. In an old timey movie I might be the hero, in a modern movie probably the annoying side-kick that gets in over his head.

Horror: I'd be the one to die trying to be the hero. Actually when we discussed this with my IRL group of friends I was voted most likely to be the hero or at least make a meaningful heroic sacrifice. So I'd at least go down in a meaningful way, preferably with explosions (yes we did discuss this, we had a last girl, most likely to go down in a meaningless/makes it worse heroic sacrifice, most likely to die first, most likely to summon the monster in the first place, among other roles).

Comedy: I don't know... henpecked?

Drama: Again I don't know. Probably a moral choice of some sort would come up.

[CynicalAvocado]

Action: Plucky comic relief.

Horror: Plucky comic relief.

Action or Horror: Plucky comic relief.

Comedy: Plucky comic relief.

Drama: Plucky comic relief.

[Thanqol]

Action: Someone with aereal mobility and explosives. Fighter pilot, guy in power armour, the demolitions guy. Completely over the top ham acting. The type of dude who will get his tank airlifted to the top of a skyscraper so he can shoot at the enemy helicopter.
Horror: Guy who chickens out at the first oppertunity.
Comedy: The "Wacky" friend with convoluted plans and plots, who comes together for long enough to give an inspiring speech that urges the protagonist to go after the girl.
Drama: The young dreamer who faces an endless succession of lose-lose choices.

[MatthewWilliams]

Horror: The guy the find dead at the beginning of the movie, before the monster/killer/whatever is even discovered.

[DeadManSleeping]

Let's give this a shot

Action: Funny guy who dies first
Horror: Funny guy who dies first
Comedy: Guy who is hilariously horrible with women.
Drama: Either the only one who's not a complete jerk (and therefore, the one who dies first), or the minor tormentor of a non-main character
Shakespeare: Mercutio, Benedick, other flamboyant comic character
Sci-fi/fantasy: Strange creature
Romance: See comedy or drama as appropriate (note: does not get girl in the end)
Anime: The one who is supposed to be competent because of their position amongst normal people, but is completely useless in contrast to the heroes

Yeah, I think I'm done.

[arguskos]

Action: I'd be the quiet unassuming guy who randomly whips out a melee weapon on some guy's unsuspecting face. I'd probably chatter a bit too much, talking constantly during the fighting, making quips and whatnot.

Drama: I'm a great deadpan. Should be clear what role I'd fill here.

Horror: I'd die second to last. Why? Because I'm sane enough to say "screw this ****" and just leave the entire situation. However, I'm just stupid enough to actually think it was beatable, and would attempt something insane towards the end, just to see if it works. It inevitably fails, and I get gibbed.

Comedy: I'd be this kinda guy.

Classics: Probably some kind of tyrannical dictator with a penchant for quips. If I'm good for nothing else, I'm damn good for tyranny.

Sci-Fi: Mad scientist.

Fantasy: Mad wizard.

Anime: Sir Not-Appearing-In-This-Film.

[CynicalAvocado]

Anime the charming, long haired, bishonen cutie that everyone loves

[Eldonauran]

Action: The guy not fighting fair. Traps, explosives and machines guns. In it to win it.

Drama: The I-told-you-so guy. Friends realize he was trying to help them from the beginning. Giver of advice.

Horror: Exiting stage left. You can do into that dark cave/hole/room/house/etc/etc/etc, I'm going home and living.

Alternatively, if escape/preventation is not an option (ie, ambushed), pick up the nearest weapon and make sure the others get away.

Comedy: Calm guy wondering what the hell everyone is doing. Did they lose their minds?

Sci-Fi: Space marine, with gadgets galore! Oh yes.

Fantasy: Mad SORCERER. Raining fire from the sky. On the bad guys. Everyone somewhat uncertain of my allegiance but not arguing due to the FIRE and dead bad guys.

Anime: Heavy-set bald monk, kung-fu master.

[snoopy13a]

I don't know who I would be but they would have to get Brad Pitt to play me

[Innis Cabal]

Action: I'd be the quiet unassuming guy who randomly whips out a melee weapon on some guy's unsuspecting face. I'd probably chatter a bit too much, talking constantly during the fighting, making quips and whatnot.

Drama: I'm a great deadpan. Should be clear what role I'd fill here.

Horror: I'd die second to last. Why? Because I'm sane enough to say "screw this ****" and just leave the entire situation. However, I'm just stupid enough to actually think it was beatable, and would attempt something insane towards the end, just to see if it works. It inevitably fails, and I get gibbed.

Comedy: I'd be this kinda guy.

Classics: Probably some kind of tyrannical dictator with a penchant for quips. If I'm good for nothing else, I'm damn good for tyranny.

Sci-Fi: Mad scientist.

Fantasy: Mad wizard.

Anime: Sir Not-Appearing-In-This-Film.

I for some reason see you as Seth Rogan and I don't know why.

[arguskos]

I for some reason see you as Seth Rogan and I don't know why.

We're no longer friends.

[Glass Mouse]

Action: The nerdy sidekick who's completely useless at everything not involving some conveniently plot-specific knowledge.

Horror: Killed off among the first, because of panicking (I'd probably just freeze the moment the monster showed up).

Comedy: The snarky friend; sane man.

Fantasy: The inefficiently idealistic leader who's overthrown by the evil advisor and/or attempts peaceful solutions until everything's gone to hell. In any case, I'd need a band of heroes to save the day.

Drama: Something about learning to take chances.

[ghost_warlock]

Why is everyone assuming they're a protagonist?

All breaks down to one question for me: is the main antagonist a man or a woman?

Man: I'm a wild card.

Woman: I'm the Dragon.

[DeadManSleeping]

Why is everyone assuming they're a protagonist? [/URL]

They're not. If you examine, most of us put ourselves as side characters of some kind. I've got myself in an antagonistic role in at least one of mine.

Also, most people don't imagine that they cause problems for good people. That's basic human psychology.

[Thanqol]

Why is everyone assuming they're a protagonist?

All breaks down to one question for me: is the main antagonist a man or a woman?

Man: I'm a wild card.

Woman: I'm the Dragon.

Every single person is a protagonist. Every single person is the hero.

[Spacefarer]

Action: Ruthless, tactical antihero, there to get the job done and nothing else.

Drama: Apparently emotionless antagonist, revealed at the end to have good intentions and motivations for uncaring behavior.

Horror: Insane wanna-be hero who makes the last stand so the main group can escape to film - er, fight - another day.

Comedy: Straight woman with the occasional unexpected dry quip.

SciFi: Free-spirited smuggler who steps on both sides of the law, helping when expedient, not hurting others intentionally.

Fantasy: Mysterious, cloaked rogue-like figure aiding the protagonist, but whose motives for helping are unclear.

[Don Julio Anejo]

Action: First the hero would meet me, his old acquaintance, for a small favour. The audience will think I'm a total buffoon, even if a funny one. Then, as the story unfolds, the hero would find that I'm the guy who secretly plotted the whole conspiracy. Oh, and when he would call me out on live television/in front of a Senate committee I would just innocently blink and ask "You really think _I_ could do all that? I mean last night I couldn't find my keys. So I "borrowed" a ladder to get in through the window. The keys were in the door... on the outside..."

Horror: Despite my personality, I'd be the only sane guy who would call bulls**t and won't start panicking. I'll still die, probably second last (or last if there is a survivor), because I'll get complacent and think I can predict the next move the killer will make.

Comedy: Look no further than Ted Mosby. The archetypal good guy whose relationships don't seem to last because "all girls want bad boys," even though I won't have much trouble meeting women. That, and people will think I'm gay for some unknown reason. Which is completely unrelated to me obsessing over color-coordinating my apartment, knowing the best place in town to get a manicure at 4 in the morning and using the word "fabulous" a lot. Expect the girl to think I'm really talking to her to get with her gay best friend.

Drama: the energetic, always happy, sunshine-and-rainbows type guy who will have terrible misfortunes befall him one after another. Will attempt suicide at one point or another, which will serve as the start of my career as a Prozac model.

Fantasy: the bartender in whatever tavern in whatever hive of scum and villainy heroes congregate at. Of course I'll be in the know of all the juicy rumours about current events treasure and have a band of adventurers (hired through a third party, of course) to check up on them for a part of the cut.

[Trazoi]

You know those scenes where the two lead characters are walking and talking down a busy city street? I'd be one of the guys walking in the other direction.

If you demand I have a speaking role, I guess I could buy a cup of coffee somewhere in the background.

[thubby]

Action: probably the guy the hero calls when everything has gone to hell in a handbasket. you know, the guy who, for some inexplicable reason, has a gatling gun and/or tank.

Horror: the genre savvy one, and thus the second to die (the first being the denialist, obviously).

Action or Horror: I couldnt be a major character in either because I'm not stupid enough to get involved.

Comedy: deadpan snarker.

Drama: the good friend maybe. depending on exactly what kind of drama, could probably result in my death.

[Mauve Shirt]

If I had a name, I'd die to make it more dramatic for the main characters. Especially in a horror movie. I hope I wouldn't end up in a horror movie, those characters are always idiots and incredibly difficult to like.

[Marillion]

Action: The grizzled, gruff jerk with a heart of gold.

Horror: Not in the movie at all, because I'm smart enough to realize "Something unexplainable is going on, and I have no stake in unmasking it all, nevermind while I'm completely alone. Bye." If I were to be in the movie, I'd be the unsuspecting innocent bystander who dies so that everyone else knows something is going on.

Comedy: The straight-man. You know, the one who just facepalms, nosepinches, and says "goddammit guys."

Drama: The love interest has to choose between a somewhat older, mature, stable man who genuinely loves her but isn't exciting, and a younger, juvenile emotional trainwreck who loves her and IS exciting. I am the former.

[Cealocanth]

Interesting one.

Action: The person who seems to be useless, such as the Architect from Inception, but "pulls a Yoda" during the end of the film. I may or may not die depending on if dying proves a point to the other characters.

Horror: The nerdy kid who gets stuck in the running with the rest of the competent folk, who has to continually prove his competence. I'll most likely die to create drama for the other characters.

Comedy: The constantly sarcastic guy that no one in the audience really likes, but they keep around so that the main characters can argue and be funny.

Sci-Fi: The man onboard for his occasional use of engineering and tactical knowlege. When the sh** hits the fan, I'll be the guy that admits "I have absolutely no idea what to do" and proceeds to pick up a gun.

Fantasy: The consultant. The man who watches it all happen from safety and drops hints to the heroes and the villains occasionally.

Drama: Similar to Action and Horror, I'd be the guy that no one likes until I die and create some dramatic potential.

[KoboldRevenge]

Action: The guy with no side or conscience who will do anything for his own benefit on either side and is equal or more clever than the hero and villain but prefers to serve under them.

Horror:Guy who goes sane and starts trying to infect people to become zombies on purpose.

Comedy:Jeff Goldblum-esque side character comedic type.

Sci-fi: Part of the crazy insect high tech weapons race.

Fantasy: Fighter and leader of the seige of the city.

[Gwyn chan 'r Gwyll]

Anime the charming, long haired, bishonen cutie that everyone loves

Not, say, the plucky comic relief?

[CaptainRectum]

This seems fun, let's give it a shot.

Action: The drunkard in the bar scene who gets his ass kicked by the hero in a big fight.

Horror: I'd stay alive as long as there were people around me. Eventually I'd make a foolish mistake and get killed in a messy fashion.

Comedy: I'd be one of the regulars at the bar/café the main characters go. Maybe I'd mutter a line or two once in a while.

Sci-Fi: "I'm a redshirt not a..."

Fantasy: A high ranking member of a local thieves guild who may, or may not be a recurring "mid-boss." Or then an information broker whose headquarters would be in a back room of a well known tavern. Maybe both.

Drama: The guy who tries to fix everyone's problems while being a failure at life himself.

Anime: The guy with glasses. So I must be intelligent durr~ But seriously now, maybe something akin to Emishi Haruki from GetBackers.

[SilverSheriff]

Action: Dark, uncaring Anti-Hero with a Heart of Gold, who was dragged into the situation for some reason.

Horror: The Killer who survives the film, destined to return for many terrible sequels.

Comedy: The Dylan Moran.

Sci-Fi: Dark, uncaring Anti-Hero with a Heart of Gold Generic Space Marine / Captain of Serenity Millennium Falcon the Famous Spaceship, who was dragged into the situation after accepting passengers aboard the aforementioned ship.

Fantasy: The Assassin who leaves tips behind for the party, and who's Identity is never revealed.

Drama: The "Friend-zoned" who gets the girl in the end.

Anime: The Rival Pokemon Digimon Monster Trainer/ Young Adult Playing a Child's game.

[Eldan]

I'm Lab assistant in the background. Either to Old Scientist who claims that whatever happening is impossible or Young Scientist who is the only one who had the right theory from the beginning.

[druid91]

Action: I'd be a generic mook and die three minutes in.
Horror: I'd Scare the psycho off. By being more psychotic at least as soon as I recognized that this is a horror movie by genre savvyness. Chain sword FTW. If it's a monster movie and not a psycho movie? A chainsword works just as well.
Sci-fi: I'd be the immortal thing(mutant, robot, whatever) That the crew finds floating in space in a wrecked ship.
Anime: I'd be the ninja neighbor in a slice of life show. Or something similar, the guy who go's on weird adventures while the show goes on mostly oblivious to the giant robots being battled or monster menaces.
Comedy:The one who is always going "Wait you did what?!!"

[Adlan]

Action: Hero's BFF, who always has just what is needed at that moment (lighter... here you go. Duct tape... Here you go... Portable torture Kit... Gimmie a Minute... Here you go). I die/greviously wounded to show how serious the bad guy is, before the hero kick's his ass.

Rom Com: I'm the British love interest who wants to capture the free spirited girl. I fail as she realises she dosn't want to be bound to my boring life giving me babies, and runs off with Plucky hero.

Horror: I die in the opening scene while on a hunting trip to show that taking pleasure in killing animals is bad, and to give everyone pleasure in watching me being killed by the monster as a set up for the film.

Comedy: I appear for one, slightly surreal scene, and no one is quite sure if I was a Hallucination or not, as I move off camera with my bow and arrow hunting Jackalopes or Haggis.

Sci-Fi: I'm the lab assistant working for the Evil Corp. who discovers his bosses project is evil. I contact the hero just before I'm used as an experimental subject.

Fantasy: I'm one of the rangers/outlaws/bandit's the hero must convince to join his side. I'm the first to cheer when our hero say's we'll throw in with the hopeless cause. If I'm lucky I get a kickarse archery shot involving tricky camera angles as my arrow kills the first enemy sentry suspiciously quietly.


Is it bad that I picture myself dying in a lot of those films?