My ugly rental

[pendell]

So my normal car was in a fender bender and is at the auto body shop. No problem, the insurance people say, we'll give you a rental until the car's fixed.

Enterprise rent-a-car gives me a choice between a Chevy Impala with a warning light and a Chevy HHR. It'll take at least 20 minutes to get the Impala checked out, and I've got to get to work. So I said, "I'll take the HHR".

Great Scott.

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Not just an HHR, but a bright, fire-engine-red HHR.

My co-workers asked if I needed a new license to drive something that ugly.


PLEASE, auto body shop, hurry up with those repairs. PLEASE.

Edited: Fixed images. Thanks, Kureshtin!

Respectfully,

Brian P.

[KuReshtin]

Holy crap!

At least it's not purple, though.

Also: Your links go to the facebook pages themself, and not the images of the car, that's why they don't show up.

Fixed for you:

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[Gaius Marius]

Time for a road trip through Maine's slushy mountains, mesay! :-)

[Comet]

I would totally drive that all day long if I could just add big "This isn't mine! It's just a rental!" stickers to both sides.

It's got a charm to it, I think. A silly sort of charm, but a charm nonetheless.

[Gaius Marius]

I would totally drive that all day long if I could just add big "This isn't mine! It's just a rental!" stickers to both sides.

It's got a charm to it, I think. A silly sort of charm, but a charm nonetheless.

Just do your very best to mud it as much as possible, and send it to a carwash minutes before putting it back

Overmuddy will, at the very least, add an intentional "corny" element that might fool most observers that you deliberately chose that car.

[Haruki-kun]

*looks at*

....that seems like a fine car to me. It's got wheels and an engine. Better than mine. <.<

[pendell]

Thanks, KuReshtin. Images fixed.

*looks at*

....that seems like a fine car to me. It's got wheels and an engine. Better than mine. <.<

You may change your mind after a few days of having cars roll up next to you and have drivers make bizarre gestures of horror, small children point, etc. etc.

I oughta get a dalmation and a firefighter's hat while driving the thing.

Oh, and that first sentence? Some of it ACTUALLY HAPPENED. Which, I'm not telling . :)

Respectfully,

Brian P.

[Pika...]

I think it looks cute.

[CrimsonAngel]

I like it.

[Dr.Epic]

Call it the Danger Cart and solve mysteries with it!

[Ikialev]

What's wrong with it being red?

[Eloel]

I think it looks cute.

I like it.

I also think it is cute. I'd happily drive it over most cars that are supposed to look cool.

[Innis Cabal]

Shouldn't you be happy you can afford a rental in the first place? Or even afford a car at all?

[Holocron Coder]

You should decorate it with a fire hose and a ladder.

If you're going to drive something ridiculous, may as well go all the way

[CrimsonAngel]

How is it ridiculous again? It's just red.

[Kneenibble]

What's the problem, it's a totally cute car. It matches one of my suits.

Is this some manliness thing I don't get? Tsk, you didn't seem like the type, p-man.

[Orzel]

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeww

*hand flailing motion*

[Kneenibble]

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeww

*hand flailing motion*

Easy there, sister.

[pendell]

Well, my vehicle is back and the HHR is now back at Enterprise Rent-a-Car in Falls Church, VA. Those of you who like it now have the opportunity to drive it! I believe it rents for about $25 / day.

Call it the Danger Cart and solve mysteries with it!

Thread is won. Have a cookie, good sir.

What's the problem, it's a totally cute car. It matches one of my suits.

Is this some manliness thing I don't get? Tsk, you didn't seem like the type, p-man.

Did ... did you just call me unmanly?

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KAMINA MANS WRATH GIGA DRILL COMBUSTION OF MANLY SOULS CANNONBALL ATTACK!

Actually, that's not it. I think it's intended to be manly. But it doesn't work in this case.

What don't I like about it?

1) We'll start with the color. Most of the vehicles in the parking lot outside are subdued grays, blues, greens, some dark maroon. Bright red stands out like a lightning bolt in the dead of night.

Which would actually be kind of awesome if it looked like this . But it doesn't work at all on an HHR. It's like having your fifty year old mother put on a miniskirt.

2) That grille. OH , that grille. It actually would be a moderately attractive car if it weren't for the grille. As it is, smashed in like that, it looks like it's been punched in the face and it looks loud and rude.

I know what Chevy was going for -- they're going for that 1940s and 1950s classic look with lots of chrome and metal and a big grille. But what it mainly puts me in mind of is this . And this

That grille would work on a tractor trailer. It doesn't work on this car.

3) After the above sins the fact that it looks like a box on wheels or a station wagon is beside the point.

Any one of those things by itself would not be so bad. Well, except the grille which is a crime against the automobile and the responsible engineer needs to be shot. But when you put bright red paint and a 1950s grille on a box on wheels? Does. Not. Work.

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On the plus side, the repair shop expedited the repair and got me my car back a day early when I told them what I was driving. When I said "ugly car" they said "You're driving an HHR?" -- so yes, I'm evidently not the only one who feels that way.

Shouldn't you be happy you can afford a rental in the first place? Or even afford a car at all?

I am happy and grateful for both those things. I named the HHR "swan", because like the ugly duckling she turned out quite beautiful in the end. She was there when I needed her, and really, isn't that the basic definition of a friend in the end? Even if they are ugly?


But it's still an ugly car.

Thing is, I didn't pay for this rental. A rental car in the event my car is repaired is part of my insurance.

Now, you must understand, my job requires flying all over the country, and when I do I drive a rental car in the local city. I've driven Hondas, Toyotas, Chevys, Fords, Chryslers, you name it. Mostly the companies I've worked for go to Hertz for their needs.

But the insurance company sent me to Enterprise Rent-a-car.

You must understand that Enterprise is the most Low Rent of your bottom-of-the-barrel budget rentals. And they are supposed to give me a vehicle comparable to the one I actually owned. This wasn't even the right class.

Others have had this experience .

And AGAIN, just like this guy , [i]it had only a quarter tank of gas! [/url]


And. It. Was. UGLY. And some most definitely agree .

As do some others .

So , yes. In comparison to someone in Africa who's starving or in comparison to a college student with no car I am very blessed and I count those blessings daily. But it's still horrendously ugly, and I decided to share some of the pain .. and the laughs .. with you :).

Respectfully,

Brian P.

PS. If you find yourself at a rental car shop, be nice to the rental people. it's far worse for them than it is for you -- BDP.

[shadowxknight]

You should stick an American flag somewhere on that car. Then you can at least claim you are driving it cause you are patriot.

[Lady Moreta]

It's got a charm to it, I think. A silly sort of charm, but a charm nonetheless.

Agreed. It's kinda cute and I kinda like it - but yikes it's red...

[Gaelbert]

Outside of my general dislike of cars, I wouldn't really have a problem with driving that. As someone else said, it has wheels and an engine. That's enough to get around on.

[Giggling Ghast]

My car's driver side window is currently attached by duct tape. And I have to keep two of the doors locked or else they swing open when I'm driving.

[purple gelatinous cube o' Doom]

Yours is far better than the puke green VW Bug I got was given last time mine was in for accident repair. What made it first is Enterprise gave me a Toyota Rav 4 they weren't supposed to give me since it needed maintenance, and had to come to my work and switch the cars out. Let me tell you I didn't hear the end of that for quite some time.

[factotum]

I don't see the problem, personally--when you're driving the thing you don't have to look at it!

[KuReshtin]

2) That grille. OH , that grille. It actually would be a moderately attractive car if it weren't for the grille. As it is, smashed in like that, it looks like it's been punched in the face and it looks loud and rude.

I know what Chevy was going for -- they're going for that 1940s and 1950s classic look ...

That grille would work on a tractor trailer. It doesn't work on this car.

3) After the above sins the fact that it looks like a box on wheels or a station wagon is beside the point.

That's it! I knew the look of that car reminded me of something, but I couldn't place it.

Behold:

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The 1961 Volvo PV

[Archonic Energy]

Now, you must understand, my job requires flying all over the country, and when I do I drive a rental car in the local city. I've driven Hondas, Toyotas, Chevys, Fords, Chryslers, you name it.

Ferrari, Mercedes, Bugatti, Porsche, Aston Martin, Ariel, Pagani...
should I continue?

[factotum]

Ferrari, Mercedes, Bugatti, Porsche, Aston Martin, Ariel, Pagani...
should I continue?

Stop showing off, Mr. Clarkson.

[Obrysii]

The 1961 Volvo PV

Those older Volvos are awesome. A friend of mine has a '66 Volvo Amazon. They barely rust, have extremely simple motors, and just keep going.

They're beautiful.

Ferrari, Mercedes, Bugatti, Porsche, Aston Martin, Ariel, Pagani...
should I continue?

What about VW? I love my VW - it's a Jetta.

It's beautiful:

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1986 VW Jetta GLI. Body has 300k+ miles on it.

Stop showing off, Mr. Clarkson.

Yay Top Gear fan!

[LCR]

Well, that car looks only slightly more silly than the average american pick up truck.
Now, THIS is a really ugly car (Italian, by the way):