1001 Bad Plot Hooks

[Flickerdart]

413: Irate human tries to return item without proof of purchase. Line behind him spills out into the streets, creates chaos.
414: Hipster barbarian hordes drown the sun.
415: Valuables have been raining from the sky, boundaries between socio-economic classes in jeopardy.
416: Goblin seeks revenge against alter ego.

[Lappy9000]

2. See that dwarf? Shave em.

Interestingly, one of my players chose to do this himself. And continue to do it until he could make a coat of dwarven beards.

Soon, Patchy the Beard Scalper became a nightmarish legend among the dwarves, told to scare dwarven children out of their stubble, and secretly cursed at when walking alone in any dark alleyway.

[Vknight]

A like the Elven Ear Clipper. Collected elven ears and wove a cloak out of them

[Lappy9000]

A like the Elven Ear Clipper. Collected elven ears and wove a cloak out of them

Much like another character who chopped off fingers and stole children. In a disaster torn town, she wanted to steal another child, as another PC responded by harpooning the mother, giving her a traumatized child and for him a wagon to carry the rest of his harpoons.

...my PC's are terrible people.

[BayardSPSR]

405.

You forgot to mention how most of the first third of the game-time in the campaign is spent marching, and how you must do as you're told and have little to no free will.

[Vknight]

Much like another character who chopped off fingers and stole children. In a disaster torn town, she wanted to steal another child, as another PC responded by harpooning the mother, giving her a traumatized child and for him a wagon to carry the rest of his harpoons.

...my PC's are terrible people.

All PC's are terrible people. They take a sick glee in this stuff. Course we as Dm's when we play also take said glee as well

[Lord Raziere]

you guys ready? these ones are gonna be harder...

417: A patriot is thrown out a building, find out why.

418: a man who escaped from a mental asylum is back, he wants revenge, try to defeat him.

419: a journalist returns to the city. help him find the truth.

420: You wake in a mine, try to find a way out of it.

421: you wake up and your ship is attacked by the enemy, find a way to escape.

422: A colony is attacked. Find out who did it and why.

423: You are a new recruit, light a tower.

424: Find five stars scattered across the land.

[Sir Dar]

you guys ready? these ones are gonna be harder...

417: A patriot is thrown out a building, find out why.

418: a man who escaped from a mental asylum is back, he wants revenge, try to defeat him.

419: a journalist returns to the city. help him find the truth.

420: You wake in a mine, try to find a way out of it.

421: you wake up and your ship is attacked by the enemy, find a way to escape.

422: A colony is attacked. Find out who did it and why.

423: You are a new recruit, light a tower.

424: Find five stars scattered across the land.

423 sounds like its from dragon age origins.

425:You must build a time traveling phone booth and find out the rest of the remaining plot hooks,by time traveling!

426:A group of nine,has enter your giant cave!Your people killed off the dwarves that once lived here and now its belongs to you!Kill them all!They can not stand against your strength and the might of numbers!Kill the dwarf,4 hobbits,the elf,3 men.One of the men is wearing a wizard hat and has a growing staff.Kill them kill them all,brave goblin captain!

[Cartigan]

425:You must build a time traveling phone booth and find out the rest of the remaining plot hooks,by time traveling!

Excellent!

[flabort]

418 sounds like batman. about 70% of all batman plots, ever.
424 is... Paper mario 64?

427. You are a devoted PC user, and are suddenly limited to Macs only. What do you do?

428. You are a devoted Mac user, and are suddenly limited to PCs only. What do you do?

429. You don't care whether you use a Mac or PC, but are suddenly limited to Linux only. What do you do?

[Lord Raziere]

423: CORRECT!

418: NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOPE!

424: NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOPE! thats seven stars, I said five.

[BladeofOblivion]

you guys ready? these ones are gonna be harder...

421: you wake up and your ship is attacked by the enemy, find a way to escape.

This one is pretty generic and commonly used, but I'm going with Knights of the Old Republic for my guess.

[Lord Raziere]

This one is pretty generic and commonly used, but I'm going with Knights of the Old Republic for my guess.

421: ding ding ding! correct.

[Cespenar]

430. There's this magical stone that somehow got stuck into some silly sword. Go figure it out.

[Vknight]

431: Now that stones stuck on a young child who touched the sword

[Flickerdart]

421: ding ding ding! correct.

It's also how Warrior Within starts, so...

[Sir Dar]

432:He who pulls the rock from the sword will be king of this land. Said the crazy old wizard and hey look you're now king!That would be great news,if you had any idea how to run a kingdom at all.Learn how to run a kingdom and do something about that crazy old wizard.

433:You fool!It was the sword that was magic!Not the rock!The rock was a dragon and the only thing keeping it from turning its self back,was the sword!Now you must take up that sword,you threw away some where,along with your keys. Find the magic sword and your keys!Then slay the dragon you think is evil!You're not sure if its evil or not,you didn't see the color of it.

[Thrantar]

434 Your party retrieved the relics of the ages, and defeated the BBEG. Unfortunately, having the relics in the same place is breaking reality. Stow them, safely.

[Vknight]

435: Tomb raiders were waiting and have taken the relics for there own deeds.

[Marillion]

436: Giant shapeshifting constructs wage war within civilization, disguising themselves as wagons, barrels, cottages and ballistas.

437: Gnome bards and illusionists collaborate to invent the first raves. Morning commerce is brought to a screeching halt.

438. Bardic college sells out to rich, tasteless orcs seeking degrees. Causes media notoriety as their works revolve entirely around how big their hoards are.

439. Frost-themed lich freezes town, protection of his phylactery in the streets turns into a hockey match.

440: King rules that all citizens wear masks in his likeness. King is actually a mask for his adviser, a master of masks, trying to mask the nation with his maskulinity.

441: Illusionist painter turns caricatures of the adventurers into ugly lopsided competitors.

442: Earth elemental steps and sits on people to avenge his kin.

443: Heroes spy on hobgoblin battalion to track them to their hidden base. The battalion gets themselves and the adventurers lost in a desert.

444: Two rat familiars of an wizard’s academy secretly plot world conquest.

445: Heroes become outcasts in a nation of carnies.

446: Metal construct runs laps full speed through walls, houses and castles without rest. heroes make various attempts to stop the metal.

447: Gnome-kobold marriage takes place, heroes try to prevent all-out war at the reception.

448: LOL BODYSWAP.

449: An order of holy knights become despised by virtually everyone. They seek out people to help them learn the “pal” in “paladin.”

450: Party explores an empty castle, only to find it in a completely different land every time they walk out. Discover it’s being carried off by an indecisive Formian colony.

451: Potion brewers across the land have their memories of ingredients wiped and replaced with soda recipes.

452: Chaotic clerics of Fharlanghn tamper with town intersections to lead into completely different planes.

453:Giants form a collectivist nation and invent cross-continent rock catapults. Mutually assured boulder fights loom over the horizon.

454:. Warriors of the Underdark fight tooth and nail in a tournament with their eyes exclusively on 3rd place.

455. Dwarf fighter competes in a dance-off to win back his wife. Old habits die hard and blood is shed.

456: Tiefling, half-elf and half-orc youths swamp marketplaces with subcultures of self-harm, tight clothing and bad music.

457: Low ceilings make for literal dungeon crawls.

[Sir Dar]

444: Two rat familiars of an wizard’s academy secretly plot world conquest.

444 sound like it is based off of Pinky and the Brain.

458:You're a succubus and must now find 1001 uses for a tail.Then find out why you did this

459:You're a succubus and must now find 1001 uses for horns.Then find out why you did this

460:You must make a good movie base off of one of the plot hooks in this thread.Then find out why you did this

461:You must make a good movie,using all of the plot hooks in this thread.Then find out why you did this

462:Throw a bad party,once we reach 1001 bad plot hooks and make sure no one comes to the party.

463:Destroy the world just for the laughs and free cookies for being on the dark side!Wait a minute we have no milk!That is it i'm destroying the world for not having milk to go with my free cookies!O yeah, that is your new plot hook!

464:Find out why the good guys don't have good cookies, like the evil bad guys.

465:You're a necromancer and must find a way to be lawful good.

466:Flip a coin to see if you're going to be a good guy or a bad guy today.

[Vknight]

467: One of you has inheritated a large mansion. After 24hours the following happens. A group of zombie pirates with a ghost lawyer attack, one of you now summons ninja cyborgs to fight, the only guy in the group can summon vases and throw them, a telepath is sleeping inside the mansion, you have acess to a eldritch abomination trapped within a golden sphere that has drive the owner insane, one of you summons a giant mecha to fight the zombie pirates Pirate Ship mecha, one of you is really a spy for a rival faction, a earthquake happens unleashing demons upon the mansion, the owner disappears with, Satan comes for tea, you fight the moon who is now a giant robot, the mansion explodes then reforms, sharks kill the waiting staff of te mansion, the master has reappeared naked with no memories, zombies start to attack the mansion, half of you lose a piece of clothing the rest are left in there skivies, one of you starts loading vases into a gun and firing them, one of you invents frying pan nunchuke lightsabers, the zombies are clawing at the mansion deal with them, the owners uncle has come back from the dead with a army of demon samurai defeat him so he and his army commit mass sepeku, you cannot let them see the ninjas or giant mecha, a creepy doll is inside the mansion following the owner destroy it, and congratulations you have survived the session. What were we playing

[The Shadowmind]

468. You grandfather has been mysteriously murdered at his mansion. A Lich has ensured one god's death while trying to bring another to this plane. Can you keep sane though the generations of people trying to stop the Lich's plan, and find out who is a puppet and who is the puppet master?

[Mutazoia]

66. You are members of a small gang with territory on an island in the outskirts of a large, gang riddled city. You and all the other gangs have been called by the leader of the largest gang to a meet in the center of the city. As you arrive, another ganger murders the leader of said largest gang, and pins the blame on you and your compatriots. You must now fight your way past all the gangs to get back to your island.

Is the leader of the largest gang called Cy-Rus?

469. Your little brother has been kidnapped by goblins. You must win your way through the labyrinth, to the goblin city before the clock strikes 13 and save the goblins from the annoying little @#$!. And NEVER got THAT way

470. A mysterious stranger has gathered you all to his house for a party. After dinner your host is murdered. You must deduce who killed him, in what room, and how..

471. Two chariots collide at an intersection. The insurance agent hires you to find out who's fault it was.

472. A Duck, a Rabi and a ball of twine walk into a bar. You must find the punch line before it's too late.

[Lvl45DM!]

I'm pretty sure noone has done this yet

473. You are a 1st level ranger transported to a strange and colourful land populated by halflingswith only your dog animal companion. You must find the High Level Mage to send you home. But beware the Chaotic Evil Wizardess is hunting you since you looted her sisters magic shoes

474. You are a Halfling ranger who was mocked by his whole village as a child. After saving the world and leveling up big time, go back and slaughter them in their sleep.

475. You are a high Wis Expert with max ranks in Profession(Game Designer). All there is on the market is wargames! invent a new game system that allows people to play one person at a time

476. You are a simple farm boy who must go on an adventure to slay the BBEG's mighty sorceror, meanwhile developing your own incredible powers with sword and magic. You meet your companions, an old wise man who teaches you how to master your skills, a brave and feisty beautiful female who turns out to be royalty, the cunning rogue who is your Guide and his huge hairy friend who is a mighty warrior. Also travelling with you is a whiny bitch, who is a good at diplomacy and not human, and a mechanic who is a surprisingly good fighter. (Hint. its not star wars)

[flabort]

474. Someone figures out that a "Paladin" is a "Lad" in "Pain". Stop the church from hurting children!

475. Someone's exterminating church members for "child abuse". Stop them from killing your priests.

[Lvl45DM!]

474. Someone figures out that a "Paladin" is a "Lad" in "Pain". Stop the church from hurting children!

475. Someone's exterminating church members for "child abuse". Stop them from killing your priests.

Heh, win to the first. So bad and yet so good.

476. You're a school superintendent who is under the delusion his Charisma is higher than it really is. Find out why the new substitute principals puns get a laugh from the kids and yours don't! You fail if you conclude that its just a popularity contest.

[Hat-Trick]

467: One of you has inheritated a large mansion. After 24hours the following happens. A group of zombie pirates with a ghost lawyer attack, one of you now summons ninja cyborgs to fight, the only guy in the group can summon vases and throw them, a telepath is sleeping inside the mansion, you have acess to a eldritch abomination trapped within a golden sphere that has drive the owner insane, one of you summons a giant mecha to fight the zombie pirates Pirate Ship mecha, one of you is really a spy for a rival faction, a earthquake happens unleashing demons upon the mansion, the owner disappears with, Satan comes for tea, you fight the moon who is now a giant robot, the mansion explodes then reforms, sharks kill the waiting staff of te mansion, the master has reappeared naked with no memories, zombies start to attack the mansion, half of you lose a piece of clothing the rest are left in there skivies, one of you starts loading vases into a gun and firing them, one of you invents frying pan nunchuke lightsabers, the zombies are clawing at the mansion deal with them, the owners uncle has come back from the dead with a army of demon samurai defeat him so he and his army commit mass sepeku, you cannot let them see the ninjas or giant mecha, a creepy doll is inside the mansion following the owner destroy it, and congratulations you have survived the session. What were we playing

Sounds like a game of MAIDS.

On that note:

477: You are a pitiful master of a great mansion and your cleaning staff has been kidnapped by trolls. Better find more maids.

[Cartigan]

474. Someone figures out that a "Paladin" is a "Lad" in "Pain". Stop the church from hurting children!

475. Someone's exterminating church members for "child abuse". Stop them from killing your priests.

The only thing better than making an actual villain is making two, perpendicular sources of righteous fury and letting them go at it. Why make a bad guy when everyone is the bad guy!

[Shade Kerrin]

464:Find out why the good guys don't have good cookies, like the evil bad guys.

Isn't it obvious? Bad has cookies, good has milk. Without both, the ideal cannot exist....