1001 Bad Plot Hooks

[grimbold]

100. You are SOOOO bored!!
101. your cat is hungry and it needs a snack, but only a snack made of great wyrm gold dragon meat
102. you wake up in a desert....

[GeekGirl]

Freudian slip?

More like my reckless typing, and before you get any ideas, I wasn't the one that woke up sore.

[Combat Reflexes]

103. go on an epic quest to the supermarket to get the DM some beer (or candy). Can be replayed for extra XP

[DeathsHands]

104. Get a drink of water for a thirsty dragon at an enchanted magic spring on the top of a mountain across the frozen plains.

[Lord Raziere]

104. Get a drink of water for a thirsty dragon at an enchanted magic spring on the top of a mountain across the frozen plains.

105. Water is actually pretty dangerous in Medieval times. get him some fine dwarven ale from the other side of the world instead, its much safer.

[Kalaska'Agathas]

106. You have been put on a mission by your god to defend an orphanage. The only adventurers you know are Bards. Get the band back together.

107. You are riding a magic train. There are snakes. On the train.

108. You lost a bunch of gold to the head of the local assassin's guild. Your next door neighbors are adventurers, planning a big score from a local dungeon. Steal their big score to pay off your debt, but don't let them find out who you are.

109. A group of adventurers have raided a famous dungeon, and are returning with a diamond of great size. Several factions want the diamond. You have ended up with the diamond through a series of wacky events and zany sub-plots. Meanwhile your services are required by a local kingpin - and if you fail to deliver he will have you killed. Find a way to satisfy the kingpin without getting yourself killed over the diamond.

110. A dragon wants a favor. This will likely end badly, but he's offering you a small fortune to do the job. Also, he might eat you if you refuse.

111. The dragon from 110. has stolen your gold, equipment, stripped you of legal status, and put a price on your head - if you can survive ten days, you will get it all back, plus a tidy sum of gold for your troubles. Learn to never deal with a dragon.

[blackjack217]

112: The world lies in ruins soulless monstrosities rule the planet. Humanities one hope is for a group of for brave souls with a distinctive accent to go back in time and Terminate the fourth edition. (or you know, whatever rule change you hate)

[Vknight]

113: You must collect the 3pieces of a magic item made by an artificer 500years ago, for the local assassins guild leaders or they'll kill you.

[OverThoughtName]

114. Drunken vagrant seeking like souls. Must love spelunking. Seek shadowy figure in bar for further details.

115. A group of four plucky vagrants have bonded over drinks at a bar and decided to cause trouble. Silence them and see the adviser to the king for a reward.

[Vknight]

116: A powerful Cleric serveing under a Powerful Wizard has a powerful country wide destructive weapon

117: A elf has been hired as the towns sheriff and must use his wit to overcome the predjudice of the citizens and save it from bandits with the help of his Dwarven Ally and Half-Giant

[Xanmyral]

118: Three strange fellows appeared suddenly, almost as if out of thin air. One of them is a bearded man with a perchance of white powder, and burning rolled tobacco leaves, which he calls a "cigar." He also laughed at the local captain of guard for his monkey-gripped large two-handed sword, and not for the poor investment in training. The second fellow is man who claims his name is "young," and is able to give startling insights into others personalities. "Young" and the cigar smoking man seem to be at ends. The last is a very odd fellow, who is often seen accompanied by many various types of dogs, all of which droll all over the place when he whistles. Investigate them, and possibly help win back the captain's crushed pride.

[Angry Bob]

119: There are no more villains. No more bandits, no more evil wizards, no more evil cults threatening to summon Il-Yaggath into the world, no orc horde poised to overrun civilization, and no cosmic entities weeks away from devouring existence. But there are still adventurers, and many of them are losing their minds from boredom. Keep them from going on "dungeon crawls" through civilized areas. Keep in mind that they're very powerful and in their own words, consider sanity to be "for roleplayers."

[Kalaska'Agathas]

120. While on a major bender, you and the rest of the party made out with Cthulu. Now he won't stop calling.

[Lord Raziere]

119: There are no more villains. No more bandits, no more evil wizards, no more evil cults threatening to summon Il-Yaggath into the world, no orc horde poised to overrun civilization, and no cosmic entities weeks away from devouring existence. But there are still adventurers, and many of them are losing their minds from boredom. Keep them from going on "dungeon crawls" through civilized areas. Keep in mind that they're very powerful and in their own words, consider sanity to be "for roleplayers."

this one is disturbing, because I once had this idea for a horror short story about this man in full iron armor going through a town and shouting "SHARE YOUR EXPERIENCES WITH ME!" and "WHERE IS YOUR LOOT!?" while slaughtering all the townsfolk and they soon realize that he is sucking up their souls when he kills them thus gaining their experiences and becoming more powerful.

this idea is just very similar.

121. The Elemental Planes, the Abyss, and the Nine hells are about to invade. All at once. You are level one. Have fun.

[Gravitron5000]

105. Water is actually pretty dangerous in Medieval times. get him some fine dwarven ale from the other side of the world instead, its much safer.

105a. Is that really a good idea? Don't you know where half-dragons come from? On an unrelated note, there seems to be a decline in half-dragon population numbers lately. No, we've already got some adventurers looking into the cause, but I'd like to introduce you to Balthomet the blue. She likes long walks on the beach, snuggling, and strafing villages. I'm sure you'll get along just fine ...

[DontEatRawHagis]

122. You are all kidnapped and brought to the king to complete a quest, because your all experts and champions. Yet you all were captured by level 3 town guards.

[BayardSPSR]

123. (YES) You are a family of peasants in a remote region. Survive until the next harvest.

A GM is, of course, free to throw in absolutely anything to make that rather difficult.

124. You meet a mysterious hooded stranger in a tavern, and he teaches you to play a mystical game with unusual dice...

Ellipsis mandatory.

[RndmNumGen]

107. You are riding a magic train. There are snakes. On the train.

Better yet, an interplanar rift has opened up, creating a gate to the Serpentine Plane. The entire plane is filled with snakes(and similar creatures).

[blackjack217]

124: you have been transported to a mysterious pirate ship in Eberon that seems to have an excess amount of interior space. Pray.

[Vknight]

125: You encounter a large blue wooden box with a door which is larger on the inside.

126: A group of warforged with plungers for one arm have begun a mass genocide. "XTERMINATE" them

127:You have met a man with 2heads, a large headed small sized warforged, a commoner with amazing insight, the 2headed aliens brother and a female commoner. They wish for you to travel with them in there white pirate ship.

[Randel]

128: You are the last surviving human in the multiverse. You are stuck on a ship with the ghost of an insufferable ****head that you've had the displeasure of knowing for years, a mutated catfolk bard who thinks he's better than you, a warforged servant who is obsessed with cleaning and has the worst bluff skill in the universe, and a senile magic item might navigate you to a safe place.

You'll have to navigate the whole ocean and head past various islands of weirdos and magical effects before you can reach a land you think is still safe.

Or perhaps you are the tyrannical despot of an evil civilization who's been overusing his supply of magical recreational drugs. Figure out which reality is the right one before both worlds go to hell.

[flabort]

129. You've met a cranky old woman who's obsessed with books and only knows the word "Shoosh!". Investigate the cause of her nasty demeanor.

130. A half-dragon drunk is swearing she knows how to make creatures with the "Qua...er Dr...nn...ugh. Urp. Blech." template. Investigate how, and what on earth it is.

[Nerdanel]

131: You are all immobile guard statues at the dark wizard's fortress. Alert the guards whenever you see adventurers trying to sneak in.

132: Destroy the world in order to prevent a Chaotic Evil crown prince from taking over the kingdom. No, you can't kill him or foment a rebellion or ignore the whole thing. Just destroy the world.

133: All die rolls for skills, combat, etc. have suddenly started only coming up only as prime numbers. The king tells you to investigate.

134: You are sitting in a train that is going too fast for you to survive jumping and never seems to come to a stop. A mystical field prevents all attempts to fly, teleport, or planeshift away. Access to the locomotive is barred with epic magic. Four times per day, somewhat challenging random monsters attack the train. The train is completely invulnerable, but you its passangers are not. Can you survive to level 20?

135: You are all Chaotic Neutral. The game is 2e and the DM is very strict about playing alignments by the book. Can you metagame enough to survive a day and not die of your own stupidity right away?

136: You play as animals. No talking! Animals can't talk! Try to become good at pantomiming in and out of character.

137: You are tasked by the king to find the mighty artifact, the Underpants of Rulership. The underpants got misplaced in the very large royal laundry, full of copycat underpants just like the special ones. The artifact's magical aura has been hidden, so finding it will be quite a task. Go undercover as laundresses and try on every pair of underpants until you find the right one.

138: Wizard, Druid, Monk, and Soulknife walk into a bar... Those are your player characters, the four points of the mystical Star of Destiny, embodying the four mystical character paths. If any one of them is to die permanently, the world will fall into darkness. You four are the ones tasked to save the world from eldritch abominations... if you can. No one else certainly can do it and those who attempt without being you four will be vaporized by mystic forces immediately. The same goes for you if you stray from your chosen character classes.

139: You are soap bubble elementals, living on the Sorta-Elemental Plane of Soap Bubbles. It's like the normal world, but you are made of soap bubbles and will only ever have a single hit point, the losing of which is immediately lethal. Save the soap bubble villagers from the massive horde of kobolds.

[No brains]

140. THE ULTIMATE CRAWL: You have to go potty, but there are monsters in line. Survive to the front with you life and clean pants.

[Jay R]

141. The prince’s father died while the prince was out of kingdom, and when the prince arrives, he is clearly emotionally upset. Your job is to glean what afflicts him – why is he so upset when he returns and discovers that his uncle has married his mother and assumed the throne? If you determine that he is insane, you are to take him to sea and arrange for him to be murdered by pirates.

142. You work for the Prime Minister, who is trying to end a potential threat to the kingdom. He must find proof of the queen’s love affair with the prime minister of another nation. Your job is to locate and bring back the diamond studs the queen gave to her lover. The only complication will be four common soldiers who are trying to bring them back to the queen, to cover up her wrong-doing.

143. A large group of outlaws have banded together in the forest, robbing all rich passersby. You work for the prince, and your job is to stop the banditry. For some reason, the nearby peasants aren’t offering you any help.

144. Two robots are missing. They are presumed to have used an escape pod from the battleship to reach the planet below. You are to search the desert and recover the missing robots.

145. The princess has been kidnapped, right before she is to marry your prince. Your job is to track down her kidnappers and return her safely to the prince. The kidnappers are believed to include a phenomenal swordsman and a giant, and to be led by a man of supreme cunning. Also, a pirate ship has been seen nearby.

[Jay R]

146. The one-time richest and most popular man in the nation has gone broke and died in his home, alone and unloved. Starting in a house full of fascinating relics which you are not allowed to examine, your job is to explain his final word. The DM brushes off all your complaints that, since he died alone, nobody heard his final word.

[LOTRfan]

147. A venerable, crippled blind Orc sneaks into the farmer's barn and pees in a bucket of wheat that was going to be thrown out anyway. Can you jab a sword through his heart as he holds the blade steady for you?

[Treblain]

148. The DM informs you that you are in a tavern, getting drunk. He refuses to tell you if there are any girls there. Meanwhile, the rest of the party is in a dungeon so dark that only Magic Missile can illuminate it. They are attacked by ogres, and you are unable to use your ogre-slaying knife to help them. Worse, you are out of Cheetos.

[Shhalahr Windrider]

149. Your brothers are jealous of your fancy clothes, PC class levels, and the fact that your fathers love you best. They have ambushed you and sold you into slavery. Now, rise from being a lowly slave to being de facto rulers of your new country. After that, you may taunt your siblings with epic pranks and secret tests of character.

150. Some folks think your friend is actually one of the gods incarnate. This is drawing some unwanted attention from the powers that be. Eliminate this attention, by betraying your friend if you must. Only then may you ask him if he thinks he is what they say he is.

151. A man who thinks he is a bard has just lost his instrument and must now improvise a different kind of performance. Help him out by telling about the time he helped his friend get married by disguising himself as a pig and robbing their house. One of you is his much-wiser butler.

152. You are all weretigers. You go to a clan party where you do nothing but sing about how great you are. Kick out that one jerk who is ruining the party for everyone else, and then wait until the clan leader picks out the most pathetic weretiger to go on a trip to the upper planes.

153. You are all intelligent magical vehicles. With the help of your spirit guide, can you win the Big Race?

154. The king’s theatre is being haunted. The ghost has recently begun demanding large sums of money and has developed an unhealthy obsession with one of the chorus girls. Investigate.

155. A poor and cynical bard has taken a commission from an axe crazy lady aristocrat. Rescue him before he winds up face down in her pool with crossbow bolts in his back.

156. You are not-quite-1st level commoner children. An avatar of Pelor recently arrived and needs to camp out in a nearby barn. You have vowed to protect him no matter what. But now, some law-enforcement types are claiming he is actually a wanted murderer. What do you do now?

[hr]
157. You have found a talking carnivorous plant. Use it to gain fame, wealth, and love. But don’t let the plant take over the world.

158. Teach a local baron’s children the Perform (singing) skill. Then help them flee the country before the baron can be forcibly conscripted into the Evil Empire’s navy.

159. One of you is a prince sent into exile after his uncle killed his father. The rest of you are his friends who taught him how to live a carefree, no-worries life. Now, the prince must learn responsibility and take back the throne.

[hr]
160. You meet a boy who claims he can talk to ghosts that no one else can see or hear. Strangely, about this time, everyone else seems to start ignoring you.

161. A strange man with a low Constitution tries to convince you that you have DR 20/– , Strength 25 or higher, and telepathic ability. Furthermore, he says you must use those to protect people. Unfortunately, he seems a little shady himself.

162. Your home is attacked by invaders with a poison attack. Fortunately, they can be driven off with glasses of water

163. Your isolated, some may even say xenophobic village is continually harassed by beings who favor one color but are repelled by another. You must brave the woods these beings call home to retrieve vital supplies and medicine. Fortunately, the creatures may not be all they are cracked up to be.

164. You must help a water nymph get a ride from a giant eagle while defending it from a grass-wolf. Complicating matters is everyone thinks they have a different character class than they really have. If all goes well, you won’t piss off the ultraviolent killer monkies.

165. Various trees and plants. have learned the death urge psionic power and have started using it on humanoids that have been chopping them down for firewood. The GM claims it will be a mature campaign, but you have your doubts.

166. The GM wants to play a campaign based on an anime-esque cartoon series.

[hr]
167a. You are skilled swordsmen. A remote village has come to you for help. Frequent bandit raids have driven them to the brink of starvation. You must drive off the bandits.

167b. You are skilled gunslingers. A remote village has come to you for help. Frequent bandit raids have driven them to the brink of starvation. You must drive off the bandits.

167c. You are insectoid circus performers mistaken for skilled warriors. A remote village has come to you for help. Frequent bandit raids have driven them to the brink of starvation. You must drive off the bandits.

[hr]
168. An aristocrat ascends to the throne through regicide. He quickly becomes a mad tyrant. You must overthrow him. However, he is prophesized to be invincible until (a) the forest moves and (b) he is defeated by a man not of woman born. Fortunately, the party is almost all druids and rangers, and one of them was born through an impromptu C-section.

169. Steal the GM’s Andrew Lloyd Webber collection before he figures out how to make you do Evita.

[Jay R]

170. You are in a room with a trapped chest that can only be opened by identifying the origins of plot hooks 149-169.

(Great job, Shhalahr.)