1001 Bad Plot Hooks

[BayardSPSR]

What's 363? (HEAVY SARCASM)

[slaydemons]

363 is when their in the trench right

[Marillion]

364: Gnome enforces guarantee.

365: Fiend hunter paladin declares he must kill all the tieflings; later discovers, no, he is the tieflings.

366: Eccentric dictator outlaws all weaponry; decrees international issues will be resolved by giving each other high-fives. All world problems are solved.

367: Impregnable floating fortress besieged by orcs with hang gliders.

368: Rogue ties bundles of Rods of Wonder together to create Wonder Shotguns.

369: Powerful sorcerer born with single large fang believes himself to be reincarnation of legendary demon king, begins war to end the earth; turns out the rest of his teeth are just kind of small.

370: Powerful barbarian who's moustache grows to look like clock hands believes himself to be the one true clock, endeavors to smash every other timepiece in the world in order to become the Highlander.

371: Powerful cleric who continuously manifests stigmata-like supernatural wounds believes himself to be second coming of a god, incites holy crusade; turns out he's just frigging clumsy.

372: Empire besieged by macho, sideburned elves; kingdoms fall one after another, as no one believes they exist.

373: Gibbering mouther aspires to become famous scat singer.

374: Master thieves break into museum and steal priceless portrait.

375: Master thieves break into castle and steal crown jewels.

376: Master thieves break into showbusiness and steal our hearts.

377: Barbarian hordes burn down capital city.

378: Barbarian hordes burn down the ocean.

378: Barbarian hordes burn down the sun.

379: Spunky teenagers travel through time to stop cosmic porcupine-looking thing from annihilating planet; become their own grandparents.

380: Gentlemanly cleric sends party on suicide trip to retrieve rare plant, makes world's strongest medicine.

381: Gentlemanly cleric sends party on suicide trip to retrieve rare plant, makes world's gnarliest blunt.

382: Gentlemanly cleric sends party on suicide trip to retrieve rare plant, makes world's tastiest tea; enters berserker rage when one party member adds milk.

383: Nation becomes infested by sandworms who are attracted to things with no rhythm; entire continent becomes perpetual dance number.

384: Fire-breathing, hammer-throwing tarrasque kidnaps princess; local sewer worker heroically pursues.

385: Halfling monk just starts punching people in the crotch, all the ****ing time.

386: All of the above.

[Vknight]

387: Princess in tower, all no-human races trapped in swamp with Ogres. Get that happily ever after

388: Local Mountain is eating populace find out how and why

389: Bear with levels in rogue is stalking local children stop it

390: You are confined to a power suit and must take over the world so it may be protected from a greater evil. Your one opponent has technology far beyond the rest of his race

[Yukitsu]

391: Your DM keeps taking party guesses as to what the world is like, and adding them to his setting. You play with a group of extreme pessimists. Try to survive your own imaginations!

[Sir Dar]

392:You're a epic level wizard. Great job at being one of the few epic level wizards in the world and with a high charisma stat!You have just join the dark side,they have cookies and good ones two!Now you must start building your evil army.All you have is a giant tower, one stone wall guarding your mountain side base,a few orcs given to you by your new dark master,lots of trees near by and in your base.You know of some wildmen tribes near by,the lands of your enemy,once belong to them and still wish to take it back. You could talk them in to joining you and some goblins from the mountains.Did i forget the seeing stone?Yeah, you have a seeing stone and can spy on your enemy and talk with your dark master on it.

Build a army worthy of your dark master!

Now you will need something stronger then men or orcs for your evil army. Use your magic and the knowledge you have learn from your dark master,to build a new race that can march all day and night,has no fear,knows no pain,who serve you and no other!Build a new rising power and make sure its victory is at hand.Your enemies will know fear and there will be....
There will be no dawn... for men.

[nedz]

393: You are all anthromorphic teddy bears. Some bad giants invade your world from a strange metal moon which has appeared in the sky. Some good giants arrive. You must help the good giants ambush the bad giants so that the good giants can destroy the new moon.

[flabort]

394. You are a magic-user trying to win the heart of your queen. Save her from a collapsing fortress, and find clues leading you to master every type of magic known, using each to obtain the next clue leading to the next art.

[BayardSPSR]

395. You are a sailor whose certificate has been revoked after an act of cowardice. Live it down and regain your self-respect while fleeing your infamy.

396. You have murdered an old woman or two. Overcome the guilt.

397. You have just bought a new book by an author you like. Hooray! After reading the first chapter, however, it changes drastically - it has been mis-bound, and the volume only contains the first chapter of the book you want to read; the rest is something different! You must find the rest of the novel.

MAJOR points if anyone can get those. Especially the last one.

[Vknight]

396. You have murdered an old woman or two. Overcome the guilt.

What Guilt?

[Cartigan]

397. You have just bought a new book by an author you like. Hooray! After reading the first chapter, however, it changes drastically - it has been mis-bound, and the volume only contains the first chapter of the book you want to read; the rest is something different! You must find the rest of the novel.

Bedknobs and Broomsticks? Read or Die?

[blackjack217]

398. You survive the unsurvivable fight that was supposed to start the campaign, now what?

[flabort]

399. You didn't survive, and are now an undead via DM fiat. Now what?

[Vknight]

Play a revenant.

Or play a skeletal template give yourself an extra set of arms, and heads, and legs, and wings for flight

[The-Mage-King]

400: As the party was attempting to cross a bridge, a large ham being leapt onto it and stole your weapons. Find him and learn why he stole them.

[zephyrkinetic]

401: A talking cat is jumping on people. Find out why.

402: A man with a striped scarf and a pegleg is hitting on half-orc women.

403: A pink-shirted bard keeps unintentionally insulting orc chieftans in their own language.

404: The Dwarf King's beard is all tangled after a rough night. Find the Golden Beardpick of Justice.

405: The Elf Queen's beard is all tangled after an extremely rough night. Find the Golden Razor of Liberty.

406: A pair of bards, Tack Ditch (an actor), and Hamhock (a half-orc singer) have started a fake Fighter's Guild, and are playing at shenanigans with the local townsmen. Find out the rules of their so-called "Brawl Guild" and determine the purpose of the mysterious "Operation Chaos."

[Vknight]

A talking cat is jumping on people. Find out why.

A man with a striped scarf and a pegleg is hitting on half-orc women.

A pink-shirted bard keeps unintentionally insulting orc chieftans in their own language.

Part of the point is for us to figure it out. I still got a few people haven't gotten

There it be gone

Also its

Spoiler

Show

Dominic Deegan

[The-Mage-King]

Number those.

[zephyrkinetic]

Part of the point is for us to figure it out. I still got a few people haven't gotten

Oh. Effed that up, I guess.

Fixed mine; if you edit your quote, no one will have to know. <__<

[Vknight]

Done. I wish we had more stimulating ones

[Feddlefew]

(Just made up.)
402. Due to a reincarnation mishap caused by the party's NE druid, the only therapist at Miskatonic University is now an illithid. Can you retrieve the dean's ring of sustenance from the crypt?

403. Due to a diplomacy mishap caused by the party's CG rouge, the only illithid at Miskatonic University is now a therapist. Can you retrieve the dean's comfy couch from the crypt?

[BladeofOblivion]

364: Gnome enforces guarantee.

365: Fiend hunter paladin declares he must kill all the tieflings; later discovers, no, he is the tieflings.

366: Eccentric dictator outlaws all weaponry; decrees international issues will be resolved by giving each other high-fives. All world problems are solved.

367: Impregnable floating fortress besieged by orcs with hang gliders.

368: Rogue ties bundles of Rods of Wonder together to create Wonder Shotguns.

369: Powerful sorcerer born with single large fang believes himself to be reincarnation of legendary demon king, begins war to end the earth; turns out the rest of his teeth are just kind of small.

370: Powerful barbarian who's moustache grows to look like clock hands believes himself to be the one true clock, endeavors to smash every other timepiece in the world in order to become the Highlander.

371: Powerful cleric who continuously manifests stigmata-like supernatural wounds believes himself to be second coming of a god, incites holy crusade; turns out he's just frigging clumsy.

372: Empire besieged by macho, sideburned elves; kingdoms fall one after another, as no one believes they exist.

373: Gibbering mouther aspires to become famous scat singer.

374: Master thieves break into museum and steal priceless portrait.

375: Master thieves break into castle and steal crown jewels.

376: Master thieves break into showbusiness and steal our hearts.

377: Barbarian hordes burn down capital city.

378: Barbarian hordes burn down the ocean.

378: Barbarian hordes burn down the sun.

379: Spunky teenagers travel through time to stop cosmic porcupine-looking thing from annihilating planet; become their own grandparents.

380: Gentlemanly cleric sends party on suicide trip to retrieve rare plant, makes world's strongest medicine.

381: Gentlemanly cleric sends party on suicide trip to retrieve rare plant, makes world's gnarliest blunt.

382: Gentlemanly cleric sends party on suicide trip to retrieve rare plant, makes world's tastiest tea; enters berserker rage when one party member adds milk.

383: Nation becomes infested by sandworms who are attracted to things with no rhythm; entire continent becomes perpetual dance number.

384: Fire-breathing, hammer-throwing tarrasque kidnaps princess; local sewer worker heroically pursues.

385: Halfling monk just starts punching people in the crotch, all the ****ing time.

386: All of the above.

379 is Chrono Trigger, with a disturbing twist.

384 sounds like a Mario ripoff. Or perhaps just Mario, period.

367 and 368 are just pure awesome.

[BayardSPSR]

Bedknobs and Broomsticks? Read or Die?

Possibly, but not what I was thinking of.

[TinselCat]

379: Spunky teenagers travel through time to stop cosmic porcupine-looking thing from annihilating planet; become their own grandparents.

Grah! I was just thinking "I hope no one's used Chrono Trigger yet..."

404. Error.

405. You're a young female fighter mercenary. Actually, you might be a paladin. Go check that out. Go adventuring with some random guy who says he's part elf. Destroy evil guy in some ruins. Now the elves show up? Become contaminated by evil. Lost your paladin powers? Guess not. Don't worry - the old druid will cure your cowardice. By the way - the whole point of this quest was to find a long lost part-elf prince and his sword. Go get started on that.

[zephyrkinetic]

I guess my original post got lost in the mire.

Do-over, renumbered:

401406: A talking cat is jumping on people. Find out why.

402407: A man with a striped scarf and a pegleg is hitting on half-orc women.

403408: A pink-shirted bard keeps unintentionally insulting orc chieftans in their own language.

404409: The Dwarf King's beard is all tangled after a rough night. Find the Golden Beardpick of Justice.

405410: The Elf Queen's beard is all tangled after an extremely rough night. Find the Golden Razor of Liberty.

406411: A pair of bards, Tack Ditch (an actor), and Hamhock (a half-orc singer) have started a fake Fighter's Guild, and are playing at shenanigans with the local townsmen. Find out the rules of their so-called "Brawl Guild" and determine the purpose of the mysterious "Operation Chaos."

[101jir]

I guess my original post got lost in the mire.

Do-over, renumbered:

401406: A talking cat is jumping on people. Find out why.


*snip*

That's a good plot.

[Vknight]

412: The Cat has a befriend a Sentinent Gelantinous Cube with Sorcerer Levels and is owned by a Wizard with speciality in divination, finally the cat rides on a flesh golem with levels in swashbuckler. Figure out what the plot is

[zephyrkinetic]

412: The Cat has a befriend a Sentinent Gelantinous Cube with Sorcerer Levels and is owned by a Wizard with speciality in divination, finally the cat rides on a flesh golem with levels in swashbuckler. Figure out what the plot is

I wouldn't call him a cube, really. He's just lumpy.

[Vknight]

Yeah but GCubes are my favorite. I've made them into every campaign even Dark Sun.

[zephyrkinetic]

Doesn't make him a cube. He's a dome. He looked like a puddle of goop in his first appearance.