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Thread: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
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2011-05-02, 06:56 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2007
- Location
- Canada
- Gender
Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
Heh, thanks, but I really don't think there's anything mmm-worthy about me these days.
It did used to scare me, but it was also fun. I'd ride the bus, walk around campus and downtown, and confuse the hell out of guys by using the mens' washroom in heels, makeup, hair, nails, a dress, the whole picture.
What really concerns me is reputation and respect now. It's not that it scares me, it's why it scares me. Then, it scared me because people might have tried to hurt me. Now it scares me because I am a professional in a career and I don't want to make waves like that: the fear is of negative attention and humiliation, a loss of face. It's a sense of propriety I've developed that I confess ashames me a little.Last edited by Kneenibble; 2011-05-02 at 07:06 PM.
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2011-05-02, 10:01 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2008
- Location
- Bottom of a well
Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
A sense of shame is a terrible thing to have. I want you to repeat after me: "What I do on my own time has no bearing on my professional time, and if I enjoy it and it doesn't hurt people it is nobody else's business but my own. If need be, I am willing to verbally defend my right to be a person outside of my career."
Or stand up to me for why that isn't a valid opinion to hold. Either one will earn/maintain my respect.
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2011-05-02, 10:19 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2008
- Location
- Minneapolis
- Gender
Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
A company shouldn't be doing anything to you based on an extra curricular, as it were (non-company related activity, you get what I mean). Just like, although the CEO might not like, say, square-dancing, he has no way to do anything that would actively affect your job position based solely on the fact that you go to a square-dancing club after work (just one really terrible example).
If you are worried more about your coworker's finding out, there seems to be a simple solution; don't let them see you do it.
If you actually want to do it at work; there isn't really a way to get around this one. Your job might not be in trouble, but the social situation of your position might go down because of how you dressed. I can get that. However, I would ask myself first, why exactly do you feel like you need to wear a dress to work? Is it because you like wearing dresses, or because you want to prove something to yourself, that you aren't fully assimilated? Why, precisely, would wearing a dress accomplish this better than say, protesting for LGBT rights, or working with the homeless, or something like that? What, precisely, does cross-dressing get you that you can't find elsewhere? Is it the thrill that you seem to be associating with it? If yes, then that is sort of the point. If you want to feel a thrill, there has to be some sort of implicit danger involved; if there were none, you wouldn't really be feeling anything.
I for one, happen to like suits; I like wearing them, I like to see men wear them. I generally prefer them to women's clothing (although I did cross dress in preschool; also, my parents are AMAZING. Like, I went through all of preschool wearing a dress every day, and never got any flak for it, from anyone. I don't remember a single person ever saying that only girls wore dresses, or that I was being "wrong". I am so glad my parents are so awesome). I don't like to wear women's clothing at all though, so maybe it is just me.
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2011-05-02, 10:23 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2007
- Location
- France
- Gender
Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
I totally agree that you should be yourself outside of your job and it shouldn't affect it... but I also understand that if you're a public figure for instance, that will affect it, because your image is an important part of your career, and what you do in your private life can affect your image.
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2011-05-02, 10:57 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2008
- Location
- Riotsville, BC
Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
While in theory your boss can't fire you because you like square-dancing, there are a lot of ways to fire someone arbitrarily without using the real reason. There's all sorts of dumb legal loopholes employers can use to fire someone they want gone. So if your square-dancing hating boss finds out you square dance then all they have to do is keep making your job worse and worse until you quit or find a superficial reason to fire you that will stand up in court - and there are a lot of those.
This is:
A) adorable
B) superawesomefanstico
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2011-05-03, 02:31 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2006
- Location
- Dinosaur Museum aw yisss.
- Gender
The Iron Avatarist Hall of Fame!
Prizes(Un)Official Best Playground Avatarist Competition
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2011-05-03, 05:31 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
- Location
- Usaki City, Syona
- Gender
Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
Last edited by Lix Lorn; 2011-05-03 at 05:32 AM.
Recent Homebrew: The Socialite | The Crystalline: Memory Altering Construct Race | Sanguine Hand, a ToB Discipline of blood and cruelty
Homebrew Signature | NEW Homebrew Collection
Thanks to all my avatar artists, especially to Paisley for my avatar of Vivian, cowardly cryophoenix.
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2011-05-03, 07:08 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2009
- Location
- Ohio
- Gender
Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
I made comics!
Crae is the bestest daddy,
I make avatars, all you have to do is ask, and I'll do it if I can.
My Awards
I've got a Formspring, ask me questions if you want.
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2011-05-03, 07:24 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2010
- Location
- Here and there
Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
Contemplated making this very comment but figured somebody else would word it better. And now you have.
If we're limited to one flattering thing to say about Lix it's that her obsessive flirtations are reassuringly consistent.
As for Kneenibble and to a slightly lesser extent (as in, I babbled for fewer "paragraphs"), The Rose Dragon... I typed up obscenely verbose responses to your posts this morning only for the home computer to eat them. The gist was essentially:
@TRD: This sort of misconception is widely spread, in reality and in fiction. Sigh.
The German thing is cool though - one of the reasons I ended up taking French as half of my joint degree was that French and German were the only classes that I was able to express myself about "issues" in unimpinged by school rules - as long as you're grammar and inntonation was sound you could make whatever ridiculous argument you liked! We talked about veil policy and gay marriage and adoption in French and in German - subjects that were entirely taboo, innapropriate or "dangerous" in essentially every other subject area I had experience in.
@ Kneenibble:
Your situation isn't without precedent either. What you're describing seems to be very common within the transvestite community. I use the word transvestite because that's the term Eddie Izzard identifies as and I'm a big fan of his work. If you've never heard of him I reccommend a google and/or youtube search - you're likely to come up with something that resonates with your experiences.
(+ 70% added waffle.)
It's probably for the best that my connection's bad and I use tech that's on it's death bed.
[ER wonders whether she sounds as patronising as she suspects she does, and puts it down to paranoia]
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2011-05-03, 07:30 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2008
Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
I use black for sarcasm.
Call me Rose, or The Rose Dragon. Rose Dragon is someone else entirely.
If you need me for something, please PM me about it. I am having difficulty keeping track of all my obligations.
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2011-05-03, 07:30 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Location
- Gothenburg, Sweden
- Gender
Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
Last edited by Asta Kask; 2011-05-03 at 07:30 AM.
Avatar by CoffeeIncluded
Oooh, and that's a bad miss.
“Don't exercise your freedom of speech until you have exercised your freedom of thought.”
― Tim Fargo
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2011-05-03, 07:35 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2006
- Location
- Dinosaur Museum aw yisss.
- Gender
Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
TRD: I think she's referring to the "bisexual in denial" thing. Which leads me to suspect she's confusing it with the "everyone's just a bisexual in denial" thing.
The Iron Avatarist Hall of Fame!
Prizes(Un)Official Best Playground Avatarist Competition
----
Also, buy my stuff! T-Shirts too!
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2011-05-03, 08:09 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
- Location
- Usaki City, Syona
- Gender
Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
Recent Homebrew: The Socialite | The Crystalline: Memory Altering Construct Race | Sanguine Hand, a ToB Discipline of blood and cruelty
Homebrew Signature | NEW Homebrew Collection
Thanks to all my avatar artists, especially to Paisley for my avatar of Vivian, cowardly cryophoenix.
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2011-05-03, 10:24 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2011
Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
I have a sex-related question. (As in sexual intercourse. Not gender)
Is the proper protocol asking via PM, or is it just discouraged on these boards period?
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2011-05-03, 10:28 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2008
Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
It's not discouraged, but it is safer to use instant messengers, since PMs are still subject to board rules.
From what I can tell, moderators and admins can't actually check your PMs for violation of board rules, but better safe than sorry.
((If you want to ask me, my IM information can be found in my profile.))I use black for sarcasm.
Call me Rose, or The Rose Dragon. Rose Dragon is someone else entirely.
If you need me for something, please PM me about it. I am having difficulty keeping track of all my obligations.
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2011-05-03, 10:29 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2005
Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
Yes, you just ask for people, prepared to hear you and give you advice, to PM you.
Or you just directly PM peoples that seem to give the most advise and see whom responds
but then you risk them having a full PM box and not even noticing that you PM'ed them.
You might want to also check out the Relationship Woes and Advice thread for peoples filled with advice.Last edited by Tiger Duck; 2011-05-03 at 10:36 AM.
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2011-05-03, 10:29 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
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2011-05-03, 10:42 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2008
- Location
- Xin-Shalast
- Gender
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2011-05-03, 10:48 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Location
- Gothenburg, Sweden
- Gender
Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
Last edited by Asta Kask; 2011-05-03 at 10:49 AM.
Avatar by CoffeeIncluded
Oooh, and that's a bad miss.
“Don't exercise your freedom of speech until you have exercised your freedom of thought.”
― Tim Fargo
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2011-05-03, 11:26 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
- Location
- Usaki City, Syona
- Gender
Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
Recent Homebrew: The Socialite | The Crystalline: Memory Altering Construct Race | Sanguine Hand, a ToB Discipline of blood and cruelty
Homebrew Signature | NEW Homebrew Collection
Thanks to all my avatar artists, especially to Paisley for my avatar of Vivian, cowardly cryophoenix.
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2011-05-03, 11:31 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2007
- Gender
Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
One of my friends on Facebook posted this earlier.
The transgendered community has to be protected. I just don’t have any tolerance for that sort of intolerance. And I think we need to legislate aggressively to protect them.
– Barack ObamaQuotebox
Avatar by Rain Dragon
Wish building characters for D&D 3.5 was simpler? Try HeroForge Anew! An Excel-based, highly automated character builder. v7.4 now out!
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2011-05-03, 11:34 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
- Location
- Usaki City, Syona
- Gender
Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
Now that's good to hear?
Can we get a citation..?Recent Homebrew: The Socialite | The Crystalline: Memory Altering Construct Race | Sanguine Hand, a ToB Discipline of blood and cruelty
Homebrew Signature | NEW Homebrew Collection
Thanks to all my avatar artists, especially to Paisley for my avatar of Vivian, cowardly cryophoenix.
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2011-05-03, 11:36 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2008
- Location
- Xin-Shalast
- Gender
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2011-05-03, 01:45 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2008
- Location
- North
- Gender
Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
Treasured Quotes
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2011-05-03, 01:54 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Location
- Gothenburg, Sweden
- Gender
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2011-05-03, 01:56 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2008
Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
I use black for sarcasm.
Call me Rose, or The Rose Dragon. Rose Dragon is someone else entirely.
If you need me for something, please PM me about it. I am having difficulty keeping track of all my obligations.
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2011-05-03, 03:01 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2011
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2011-05-03, 05:28 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2008
- Location
- Bottom of a well
Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
I'd like to point out that to the best of my knowledge, I'm the only one here who's provided serp valentines chocolates and/or gotten her drunk (depending on number eaten in a setting).
Thank you, this has been a test of the emergency creepiness broadcast system. We now return to your regularly scheduled golentan creepiness.
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2011-05-03, 06:15 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2010
- Location
- Here and there
Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
And now: Segue Dance!
[dances to the segue song]
[segue dance ends]
you're watching the Playground Emergency Broadcast System... Remain in doors!
[watches the Quiz Broadcast politely]
Oh that Unknown Male 282... such a joker...
...and if you just tuned in and were hoping for something more closely related to LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen...
...Then you're in luck!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s04umYHWYls
[watches]
That's all folks.
(For the uninitiated, "Gary Rhodes" is a real person, and really did have a hairstyle like that.)
Out of curiosity, does anybody here actually have a "Gary Rhodes" or "Cary Grant" to help them with nerves on dates?
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2011-05-03, 06:26 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2008
- Location
- Bottom of a well
Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
No, but I have an itemized list of social cues I've found that I can give to increase my chances of a successful date (by which I mean arranging a second one) without feeling I've compromised my personal integrity. It includes a list of recommended and "to be avoided" physical contact points arranged by time and appropriate response situations, key words to be used or avoided (avoided words are particularly important), and rehearsed gestures and physical responses (posture and pupil dilation practice have proven particularly effective).
I actually have the full list typed out, and do read through it right before dates.