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  1. - Top - End - #61
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Mutazoia's Avatar

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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    Magic Missile: Throw the nearest mage at your target.
    "Sleeping late might not be a virtue, but it sure aint no vice. The old saw about the early bird and the worm just goes to show that the worm should have stayed in bed."

    - L. Long

  2. - Top - End - #62
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    You're looking at it the wrong way... you need to get a Goliath and give them the feat tree that ends up with him having Fling Ally and Fling Enemy, then he says that he's a master of Telekin... Telekin... movin stuffs!
    Quote Originally Posted by Starsinger View Post
    You sir, are my hero.

  3. - Top - End - #63
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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    He's even awesome enough to use cleric spells
    Inflict light wounds - don't use power attack
    Inflict moderate wounds - power attack a little
    Inflict serious wounds - full power attack
    Inflict critical wounds - critical hit version of above
    Death knell - coups de gras
    Bless water - say you blessed the water, then throw it really hard at undead, can even be used to prove a target is undead.
    Remove fear - be scarier than whatever is scaring your comrades.
    Shield of faith - a large shield with kord's or gruumsh's holy symbol
    Shield other - step in the way of attacks targeting comrades, heck you have a better version, the normal one only transfers half.
    Contagion - don't shower, touch enemy with unwashed unmentionable.
    Meld into stone - dig a hole.
    Stone shape - with a hammer.
    Discern lies - insist enemies are lying, if they are proven honest, they were lying about something else.
    Freedom of movement - who's going to stop you?
    Divine power - always active.
    Sending - paper airplane
    Imbue with spell ability - give a comrade your weapon, and instructions on the right way to scream.
    Command - intimidate
    Blade barrier - duration=concentration
    Animate dead - marionette puppets anyone.
    Harm - your main ability
    Regenerate - tape the arm back on, when that doesn't heal back up, castigate them for not cleaning it often.
    Endure elements - the hard way.
    Jump - jump
    Animal messenger - tie a note to a squirrel, throw the squirrel
    Barkskin - tie bits of bark all over yourself, you already have dr.
    Charm person - intimidate them into being nice to you.
    Suggestion - see above
    Dominate person - see above
    Glitterdust - throw a hand full of glitter at your foes.
    Minor image - crudely drawn cardboard cut out.
    Passwall - your shoulder and a good running start.
    Dimensional anchor - unconsious things rarely teleport.
    Dismissal - intimidate them into going home.
    Hold person - as command
    Statue - stike a pose
    Temporal stasis - sap+place to hide the body
    Tenser's transformation - rare moment of lucidity.
    Last edited by Darth Stabber; 2011-04-14 at 01:09 AM.
    My homebrew
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Glyphstone View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Nerd-o-rama View Post
    Did you just put a gear shift on a lightsaber?
    Redneck laser swords only work in manual.

  4. - Top - End - #64
    Colossus in the Playground
     
    Eldan's Avatar

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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    Quote Originally Posted by Sacrieur View Post
    I may give you a hug. This is awesome.

    Wish: Tell your opponent that you will grant him a single wish. When he answers, punch him in the face and tell him his wish sucks.
    Tell him his wish backfired.
    "You raise your baton. The glass kettle drums pound out the the overture. Your vision clouds with blood. You wipe it away and continue. The xylophonist's hair bursts into a violet flame, but he continues playing. He's either a consummate professional or very drunk indeed..."

    Quote Originally Posted by Palanan View Post
    I want more mwa-ha-haaa and much less boo-hoo-hoo.

  5. - Top - End - #65
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    PaladinGuy

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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard



    I want to award a whole internet to all the posters of this thread, startin with the OP down to the last post I read.

    Starting my morning by reading this made my day brighter, my smile larger, and my life a lot whole better.

    Thanks. Enjoy your Internets.
    Jan

  6. - Top - End - #66
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    Quote Originally Posted by OracleofWuffing View Post
    See Invisibility by throwing sand in a general direction.
    More like Glitterdust then.

  7. - Top - End - #67
    Colossus in the Playground
     
    Eldan's Avatar

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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    Well, it can't be hard to buy some glitter and some dust somewhere in town

    Erase is also pretty easy to cast.

    Plus, he might be able to cast Nightmare on people by talking to them.

    And you don't want to know where his Stinking Cloud came from.
    Last edited by Eldan; 2011-04-14 at 04:48 AM.
    "You raise your baton. The glass kettle drums pound out the the overture. Your vision clouds with blood. You wipe it away and continue. The xylophonist's hair bursts into a violet flame, but he continues playing. He's either a consummate professional or very drunk indeed..."

    Quote Originally Posted by Palanan View Post
    I want more mwa-ha-haaa and much less boo-hoo-hoo.

  8. - Top - End - #68
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Chimera

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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    Hah, brings back memories of my barbarian turned sorc in Diablo 2.
    Quote Originally Posted by Tvtyrant View Post
    I can never understand WOTC's reasoning; taking RAW as a whole is like grabbing a book filled with fortune cookie sayings and basing your life off of them.
    My humble efforts at re-cr'ing MM2
    http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=215727

  9. - Top - End - #69
    Troll in the Playground
     
    MonkGuy

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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    Quote Originally Posted by NNescio View Post


    Note the sword on the belt.

    Same guy, no pointy hat, sword is more obvious:
    Spoiler
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    Elminster's always struck me as more of a bard, the way he's presented in the FR corebook. Bards can use swords, they're proficient with them. Wizards are not.
    Pokemon friend code : 3067-5701-8746

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  10. - Top - End - #70
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    Mutazoia's Avatar

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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    Quote Originally Posted by Quietus View Post
    Elminster's always struck me as more of a bard, the way he's presented in the FR corebook. Bards can use swords, they're proficient with them. Wizards are not.
    Well if you've read the Novel on Elminster's back story he's a fighter/thief/cleric/mage
    "Sleeping late might not be a virtue, but it sure aint no vice. The old saw about the early bird and the worm just goes to show that the worm should have stayed in bed."

    - L. Long

  11. - Top - End - #71
    Eldritch Horror in the Playground Moderator
     
    The Glyphstone's Avatar

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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    I thought he was a gestalt Author Avatar//Gary Stu.
    Quote Originally Posted by GungHo, on Battletech
    The Atlas is also goofy but it has that whole "Stay Puft Marshmallow Man" menacing smile thing going for it. The guy who drew that one up was obviously taken to the Nutcracker when he was a child... and he was screaming in terror the entire time.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Enterti, Cogidubnus
    Glyphstone, out of all the playground I think you scare me the most...
    Quote Originally Posted by Zombimode
    Glyphstone, you are an evil person :D

  12. - Top - End - #72
    Colossus in the Playground
     
    Eldan's Avatar

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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    Quote Originally Posted by Mutazoia View Post
    Well if you've read the Novel on Elminster's back story he's a fighter/thief/cleric/mage
    His 3.5 stats make him an Archmage Mystra-thingie Rogue Cleric.
    "You raise your baton. The glass kettle drums pound out the the overture. Your vision clouds with blood. You wipe it away and continue. The xylophonist's hair bursts into a violet flame, but he continues playing. He's either a consummate professional or very drunk indeed..."

    Quote Originally Posted by Palanan View Post
    I want more mwa-ha-haaa and much less boo-hoo-hoo.

  13. - Top - End - #73
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Mutazoia's Avatar

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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    Quote Originally Posted by Eldan View Post
    His 3.5 stats make him an Archmage Mystra-thingie Rogue Cleric.
    And the "new" TARDIS is vat-grown. At the end of the novel Mystra asks big E to be her champion on Faerun .... So the archmage of Mystra/rogue/cleric still fits his back story :)
    "Sleeping late might not be a virtue, but it sure aint no vice. The old saw about the early bird and the worm just goes to show that the worm should have stayed in bed."

    - L. Long

  14. - Top - End - #74
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    MonkGirl

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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    I'm surprised nobody has mentioned...

    Continuously hit something until it's broken into a ba-jillion pieces = Disintegrate.

    *SMASH*, *SMASH*, *SMASH*!
    "What are you doing?"
    "I am disintegrating this evil idol!"

  15. - Top - End - #75
    Titan in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    Unseen servant: force the other party members to carry your gear.
    Light: light a torch.
    Continual flame: buy an everburning torch.
    Alarm: set up lots of dried twigs around camp.
    Flame arrow: put rags on an arrowhead and dip it in oil, then put it in flame.
    Pyrokinetics: for the choking fog, put some water on the fire.
    Daze: hit on the head with a club.
    Confusion: as daze.

  16. - Top - End - #76
    Ettin in the Playground
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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    Symbol of Insanity: Draw a picture, look at it and go insane.

  17. - Top - End - #77
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    Quote Originally Posted by Swiftmongoose View Post
    Unseen servant: force the other party members to carry your gear.
    While wearing a blindfold.

  18. - Top - End - #78
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    Hiro Protagonest's Avatar

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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    Quote Originally Posted by Tvtyrant View Post
    Symbol of Insanity: Draw a picture, look at it and go insane.
    Symbol of pain: draw a symbol, look at it, and stab yourself.
    Symbol of death: draw a symbol, look at it, and stab yourself in the heart.

  19. - Top - End - #79
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    HalfDragonCube's Avatar

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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    Quote Originally Posted by Darth Stabber View Post
    Death knell - coups de gras
    What, a blow of fat?
    Normal avatar by Qwernt, ponytar by Akrim.elf and squishydoll by Recaiden. Thanks guys!

  20. - Top - End - #80
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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    Quote Originally Posted by giantmudkip View Post
    What, a blow of fat?
    Yes, that's how you fight Americans.
    My homebrew
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nerd-o-rama View Post
    Did you just put a gear shift on a lightsaber?
    Redneck laser swords only work in manual.

  21. - Top - End - #81
    Colossus in the Playground
     
    Eldan's Avatar

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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    I thought they were largely immune to it?
    "You raise your baton. The glass kettle drums pound out the the overture. Your vision clouds with blood. You wipe it away and continue. The xylophonist's hair bursts into a violet flame, but he continues playing. He's either a consummate professional or very drunk indeed..."

    Quote Originally Posted by Palanan View Post
    I want more mwa-ha-haaa and much less boo-hoo-hoo.

  22. - Top - End - #82
    Bugbear in the Playground
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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    Quote Originally Posted by Swiftmongoose View Post
    ...Pyrokinetics: for the choking fog, put some water on the fire. ...
    For the blinding light version, toss an eggshell grenade (flash powder) into the fire.

    (AKA the lesser cousin of the infamous dust grenade.)
    Last edited by NNescio; 2011-04-14 at 03:32 PM.

  23. - Top - End - #83
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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    LOL
    AWESOME
    everything!
    where can I enlist?

  24. - Top - End - #84
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    Hiro Protagonest's Avatar

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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    Quote Originally Posted by Smokin Red View Post
    LOL
    AWESOME
    everything!
    where can I enlist?
    Enlist? You just post your ideas.
    Last edited by Hiro Protagonest; 2011-04-14 at 03:59 PM.

  25. - Top - End - #85
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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    Summon Familiar class feature - A Barbarian wizard may choose a familiar to accompany him locating a suitable familiar and using an intimidate check to get it to follow you (or by buying one from a pet store or just putting a rope around its neck and dragging it along with you). Some familiar provide a bonus to certain skills.

    Cat - Can often be found stuck up trees. If a small child thanks you for getting Mr. Scruffles down from a tree, inform her that he will now be acomanying you in a magical journey to fight evil. Cats can provide a bonus to climb checks by tying a rope around one and flinging it toward something where it can use its claws to provide a suitable anchor.

    Dire Wolf - Can be aquired by finding a pack of wolves and bonking them very hard on the head, if any survive then force them to become your familiar.

    Imp - Can be aquired by finding an imp and bonking it lightly on the head until it agrees to become your familiar.

    Horse - Can be aquired by buying a horse (or aquiring through other means). Providea a bonus to land speed while riding it.

    Necrotic Familiar - If a familiar dies then it can be turned into a Necrotic Familiar through a several hour long process that includes removing its insides and replacing it with stuffing (and/or rocks or bombs). While Necrotic Familiars lack some of the uses of living familiars, they can be used for other things... like rugs or bludgeoning instruments.

    Improved Familiar - A Barbarian Wizard can tell its familiars to improve themselves. Alternatly if that doesn't work out he can get a better familiar. Getting a better one doesn't necessitate leaving the old one behind (though familiars unwilling to improve themselves may be converted into Necrotic Familiars).


    Magic Item Familiar - A barbarian wizard can declare a magical (or nonmagical) item to be his familiar. Examples of Magic Item Familars include:

    Smashy the War Axe

    "This big pile of gold that wants to follow me"

    My lunch

    The color purple

    This healing potion that provides a bonus to healing (may or may not be a keg of ale).

    A portable battering ram to aid in lockpicking.

    Ambassidor Pineapple (found around 30 seconds into the video) A powerful thrown alchemical item that provides a bonus to diplomacy checks.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Audious View Post
    Randel, you are a gentleman and a scholar.

  26. - Top - End - #86
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    nedz's Avatar

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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    Don't forget to carry a length of rope with a grappling hook on the end. When you get tired and need to rest up, just walk under a tree and cast Rope Trick.
    π = 4
    Consider a 5' radius blast: this affects 4 squares which have a circumference of 40' Actually it's worse than that.


    Completely Dysfunctional Handbook

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  27. - Top - End - #87
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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    Quote Originally Posted by Randel View Post

    A portable battering ram to aid in lockpicking.
    No, that's the focus for Knock and Passwall.
    Quote Originally Posted by A_Moon View Post
    How many times, when the Fighter says "I draw my sword", did you just want to smack that cheating-optimizer in the face and say "No! You don't draw your sword! You draw Orcus!". When the Cleric says "I run away from Orcus!": "No! You run into Orcus! Rogue tries to hide? He hides behind Orcus! The bard in a tavern on the other side the town tries to order a drink? How about a nice frothy mug of Orcus?
    Quote Originally Posted by Guancyto View Post
    Perhaps this will sate Flickerdart's endless hunger for assassinations.

  28. - Top - End - #88
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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    Summon Monster 1: Pick on one of the creatures attacking you and throw it at another.
    Floating disc: Disc plus str check
    Color spary: paint in can + ranged touch attack.
    Reduce Person: messy.
    Enlarge person: Also messy.

    I'm surprised how A) easy this is and B) how entertaining.
    Last edited by Forbiddenwar; 2011-04-14 at 07:47 PM.

  29. - Top - End - #89
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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    Suggestion: use intimidate.
    Stinking cloud: material component: beans. Somatic component: eating them.
    True strike: Whine at the DM if you miss.

  30. - Top - End - #90
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    Randel's Avatar

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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    Fireball: Get a spell component pouch, remove bat guno and sulpher to make gunpowder. Repeat until you have enough to make as big of an explosion as you want!

    Also, don't forget all the roleplay possibilities:

    "Hey Korg, help us pack up the camp."

    "Korg busy preparing spells!" (Sits there looking at pictures of naked women)


    "Well Korg, looks like we'll need you to dispell the curse on that sewer zomb..."

    "Korg out of spells! Korg need to rest now." (sits down and takes a nap).

    "Um... Okay..." The team sits around for a bit then fixes the problem while Korg sleeps.


    ""Korg, we need you to fix this prob..."

    "Korg not have spell prepared for that!"

    "But you just dealt with the same problem ten minutes ago."

    "Hello?! Korg Wizard! Korgs magic very specific and absurdly context sensitive. Korg prepare only one of those spells this morning and can only do it once today. Korg can't do that same thing anymore."


    The party comes across a damsel in a cage.

    Rogue: Don't worry, I'll save you... Ack!

    Kord: Korg use scroll to save you! *looks at a piece of paper for two seconds before pulling out a crowbar and breaking the cage open*

    Rogue: But you said you couldn't do that!

    Korg: Korg have magic scrolls to cast spells in emergency! Do not question Korgs magical prowes!

    Rogue: Well can you help us deal with this...

    Korg: Korg need to spend eight hours scribing new scroll to replace one Korg used to save damsel. Also need several hundred gold for ridiculously expensive ink used in magic scrolls!


    Later:

    Rogue: Well, I managed to disarm all the traps keeping us away from the treasure (that Kords magic couldn't acomplish disarm for various reasons)

    Korg: Do not berate Kords magic!

    Rogue: Alright! Well anyway, time to divvy up the loot.

    Korg: Korg say stop! *shoves the rogue out of the way* Hmm... Yes... *Korg looks at all the stuff, occasionally chanting magic word and tossing dust on things*.

    Paladin (who is a fighter with a horse and healing kit): What is it, oh great wizard?

    Korg: Korg see some of these items are curse. Korg keep them in special bag so they not harm Korgs friends (dumps a bunch of jewels and weapons in a bag). Korg also see these magic items here are very expensive, way more expensive than this gold. Puts all the gold in one pile and an old pair of mice-infested boots in another part. Korg think rogue friend could use boots of Mice-like sneaking more than this potentially cursed gold.



    And then feel free to spend a lot of time "crafting" stuff for the team.

    Potions - Just buy a lot of bottles of ale for your party members, if they get tired of that then make potions in cookie form (or beef jerky if you'd rather go that way).

    Scrolls - Just scribble some stuff on pieces of paper.... be sure to spend eight hours and alot of money on doing that. You're totally not spending your scroll money on booze, whores, and gambling.

    Wands - Sticks of dynamite... I mean... clubs or something.

    Staffs - Bigger clubs for performing very specific spells.

    Rings - Korg likes to wear jewelry cuz it makes him more magical. ANYONE WHO MAKES FUN OR KORG GETS SMASHED WITH MAGIC!!!

    Wonderous Items - Korg has lots of wonderous items that are all magiced so that you can't tell they are magical.

    Magic Arms and Armor - Korg can make magic weapons and stuff, usually +1 weapons. If you don't see yourself hitting more often with them that means you're dumb and weak.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Audious View Post
    Randel, you are a gentleman and a scholar.

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