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  1. - Top - End - #91
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    Plainer Binding: Use hempen rope instead of fancy silk rope to tie somebody up.

    Orb of Force: Chuck a rock at the target.

    Enlarge Person: Wear platform shoes.

    Entropic Shield: Paint your shield with an optical illusion.

    False Vision: Numerous illicit substances deposited in the target's food/drink supply.

    Augury: Flip a copper for a 70% chance of a useful answer. Each increase in denomination adds 10% to the probability.

    Silent Image: Paint it on a wall.

    Minor Image: As above, but standing off to the side attempting ventriloquism as well.

  2. - Top - End - #92
    Troll in the Playground
     
    OrcBarbarianGuy

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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    BarbarianWizard should name his greatclubstaff "Magic" or "Juju", or something to that effect. Then when something happens he can say "Korg use his 'Magic Power'" and then he bashes away.
    Korg's "Magic Power" is to be feared and respected.


    Quote Originally Posted by Randel View Post
    You're totally not spending your scroll money on booze, whores, and gambling
    I lol'd.
    [retired]

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  3. - Top - End - #93
    Bugbear in the Playground
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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    Quote Originally Posted by Swiftmongoose View Post
    True strike: Whine at the DM if you miss.
    Alternatively, exclaim that your opponent must be a true combat master.

  4. - Top - End - #94
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Quote Originally Posted by Randel View Post
    ... Paladin (who is a fighter with a horse and healing kit): What is it, oh great wizard? ...
    I lol'ed.

    (On a related note, he may also need a good sized stick applied in the posterior region.)

  5. - Top - End - #95
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    BlueKnightGuy

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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    Dear god this that first post was just beautiful.


    Blade Barrier: Swings Sword around super fast hitting everything that comes near.
    Web: Throws a net.

    Metamagic:

    Chain Spell: Cleave/GreatCleave/Whirlind Attack...
    Or
    Chain Spell: Uses other "spells" with Spiked chain for focus.
    Scult Spell: Quick Draws a different weapon to hit with.
    Maximize spell: Coup de Grace.
    Quote Originally Posted by Somebody
    Something Deep.
    Quote Originally Posted by Somebody, possibly same person as above
    Something Funny.

  6. - Top - End - #96
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    Eldan's Avatar

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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    Shield of Faith: "Here. Just believe in it. A lot. Kronk great mage. Kronk cast divine spells too."

    Miracle: whenever anything good happens, loudly proclaim: "It's a miracle!"

    Stone Tell: "Yes, little pebble? Oh, really? And then? NO! Paladin did what to you? Don't worry, Kronk make sure it never happen again!"
    Last edited by Eldan; 2011-04-15 at 02:48 AM.
    Resident Vancian Apologist

  7. - Top - End - #97
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    Quote Originally Posted by Randel View Post
    Necrotic Familiar - If a familiar dies then it can be turned into a Necrotic Familiar through a several hour long process that includes removing its insides and replacing it with stuffing (and/or rocks or bombs). While Necrotic Familiars lack some of the uses of living familiars, they can be used for other things... like rugs or bludgeoning instruments.
    Something like this?

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    Normal avatar by Qwernt, ponytar by Akrim.elf and squishydoll by Recaiden. Thanks guys!

  8. - Top - End - #98
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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    All the best TO builds have cool names. We need a cool name for this build. How about:

    Arcane Brutalist
    Arcanosmasher
    Barbarizard
    Smashomancer
    Spellrager
    SpellThog
    Thogaturge
    MegaBigBee
    Teer-Wun
    Woundini
    Spellothaumarcanomancerlockaster-user... or was it Spellockothaumaturgicastermancer-user?

    Taglines:

    "I put the MAGE in DAMIDJJ!"

    "Battlefield Control the way it should be... shoved up your Otyugh Hole, sideways."

    "Power Word: WINNING!"

    "There is no Saving Throw vs. Pure Awesome."

  9. - Top - End - #99
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    fizzybobnewt's Avatar

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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    Barbarizard sounds like a Pokémon. I vote for Spellockothamaturgicastermancer.

  10. - Top - End - #100
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    Eldan's Avatar

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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    War-mage?
    Resident Vancian Apologist

  11. - Top - End - #101
    Titan in the Playground
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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    Quote Originally Posted by Darrin View Post
    Thogaturge
    THIS.

    "We are a brotherhood of scholars who have studied under the great mage Thog. He has taught us many secrets, and shown us the true nature of magic. If you disagree, I will use my magic staff to fracture your skull."
    Lord Raziere herd I like Blasphemy, so Urpriest Exalted as a Malefactor

    Meet My Monstrous Guide to Monsters. Everything you absolutely need to know about Monsters and never thought you needed to ask.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mithril Leaf View Post
    One of the unwritten rules of Giantitp is that Urpriest is always right.
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    original Urpriest (by Andraste)

  12. - Top - End - #102
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    I think we have our new Confusion spell!
    not nale, not-nale. thog help nail not-nale, not nale. and thog knot not-nale while nale nail not-nale. nale, not not-nale, now nail not-nale by leaving not-nale, not nale, in jail.

  13. - Top - End - #103
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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    O pitiless ancient gods, what have I done?

    Wow. I thought I'd get the equivalent of a few eye-rolls, but, k'damn. I think I'll edit the first post and put some of the more amusing "spells" in his "spellbook." Thanks everyone. Especially to araveugnitsuga for the idea of his sword being an "oversized metal wand" which I actually thought of once and then forgot, and to Randel for the scene which includes this line: "Hello?! Korg Wizard! Korg's magic very specific and absurdly context sensitive." I think that pretty much writes the character for me.
    Avatar by the one and only Ceika.
    "I'll be whatever I wanna do." - Philip J. Fry
    my fake wizard|my fake one-shot|my fake link

  14. - Top - End - #104
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    There is a problem with this: the incredibly high hp of a barbarian compared to that of a wizard.

    In almost every campaign a squishy spellcaster falls unconscious due to an effect something everyone else would shrug off. Playing dead after the slightest injury might work.

    *Thog stubs toe and falls over*

    Thog: Augh! Thog badly hurt! Thog needs healy spell!

    Cleric: I cast Deathwatch.

    DM: He's absolutely fine.

    Thog: ... Thog needs healy spell!

    Cleric: *Sighs* I cast cure minor wounds.

    DM: That only works on real wounds.

    Cleric: Fine, I cast Calm Emotions.

    Thog: Thog back from brink of death.
    Last edited by HalfDragonCube; 2011-04-15 at 10:25 AM.
    Normal avatar by Qwernt, ponytar by Akrim.elf and squishydoll by Recaiden. Thanks guys!

  15. - Top - End - #105
    Ettin in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    Wind Wall: he spends several rounds standing in front of allies and blowing really hard. arrows that hit must have been shot over the wall! they are archery masters

    Shocking Grasp: make a grapple check. on a success, shake them really hard while going BBBZZZZZZZTTTTTT

    Ventriloquism: start talking out of the side of your mouth. funnier if you have a puppet. funnier still if you perceive the puppet to be your familiar. bonus points if you give him an accent

    Hideous Laughter: laugh in their face. they roll a save vs the sausiating stench of your breath. when they dont lose their round, they obviously must have strong will!

    Spells like Whispering Wind and Message would be hilarious to act out
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    Quote Originally Posted by 3SecondCultist View Post
    ...

    You're just going to start randomly setting things on fire, aren't you?
    Quote Originally Posted by TechnoScrabble View Post
    ...

    This entire campaign's going to become nothing but partying in a long forgotten world, isn't it?
    In the past, I played Sir Theo Roost.
    I am soon to begin playing his heir, Dora the Destroya

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  16. - Top - End - #106
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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    This might be an interesting way to play a tank.
    The Whackomancer stands at the back with their pointy hat, robe and big stick. 'Intelligent' foe closes in and tries to target the caster, ...
    π = 4
    Consider a 5' radius blast: this affects 4 squares which have a circumference of 40' — Actually it's worse than that.


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  17. - Top - End - #107
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    SamuraiGuy

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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    Polymorph Any Object: Even messier than Reduce/Enlarge Person.

  18. - Top - End - #108
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    A few ideas:

    I wouldn't recommend giving him a penalty to Int (he could use the skill points to put into various disguise or bluff skills or whatever) but he could totally dump Wis or something. I always though of Intelligence as being (the mental ability to think up cool stuff) while Wisdom is (the mental ability to avoid doing stupid stuff). Charisma is just the ability to look cool while doing whatever you're doing... be it cool or stupid.

    Anyway, he'll also need a beard. Wizards have long flowing beards while barbarians might have wild unshaven beards, just give your wild beard a few run-throughs with a comb and you've got the wizard look down pat.

    Of course, you could always try to equate a wizards power with the length of their beard.

    Evil Wizard: So, you foolish adventurers have come to stop my masters plans? Well, I wil defeat you all with my powerf...

    Korg: Korg challange dumb wizard to wizard duel!

    Evil Wizard (has no points in sense motive): Oh, so I finally meet the famed Korg the Magical. I must admit you've provem quite effective despite your... ahem... mongrel heritage.

    Korg: Korg better wizard than you because Korgs beards bigger than your beard! Korg break your beard and you not be any kind of wizard to hurt anyone!

    Evil Wizard: Umm... I see, you think your greater age and experience will give you victory. (Gah, how I dislike dealing with other wizards. We have such abysmal charisma that its a wonder we can talk straight). Well you're mistaken,Old Man! My youth and vitality will se me triumph over you ancie...

    Korg: Arcane....DISJUNCTION! RAHHHH!!! *Korg runs up to the Evil Wizard, grabs onto his beard and rips it right off of his face!*

    Evil Wizard: HOly Sweet mother of!! My Face, my beauiful face! *grabs onto the bleeding part of his face where his beard was*

    Korg: Smite EVILL! *Smashes the evil wizard over the head with his staff of smiting*

    Paladin (still a fighter with a horse): Wow, such a wonderous display. Looks like that necromancer won't be causing any more troubles.

    Evil Wizard: Oh god I'm in such pain...

    Korg: *snaps the evil wizards neck* Korg good at breaking neckromancers.

    Paladin: Well then, I'll just go search the rest of the place: Detect Evil *looks at some ugly minion* ... he's evi! Kill him! *kills the minion* Detect Evil *looks at a hot chick* She's good... but wounded. Time to lay on hands!

    Korg: Now Korg take evil wizards power for Korgs own. *Takes the ripped off beard and knits the hair into his own beard to make it longer* Now Korgs beard bigger than ever! Korgs wizardly powers get better every time Korg beat other wizards in wizard duels.



    If you want to play Korg as being "Fairly smart in his own way." Have him take an interest in stuff like riddles or arcane theories. Not that he cares for them or even half-understands them but he knows how to spout stuff that seems magical for those not versed in it while giving severe headaches to those who actually know how magic works.


    Korg: Evil Wizard not be able to defeat Korg because Korgs familiar better than your familiar and grant Korg more spells! *holds up terrified cat*

    Evil Wizard: What? Thats not... I don't even have a familiar! Familiars are a waste because wizards lose power if their familiar gets hurt.

    Korg: Exactly! Clerics gets spells from gods and get all kinds of spells and can wear armor. Wizards get spells from tiny animals *screaming cat* and get specific blasty spells but can't wear bulky armor. You no have familiar to give you spells while I have a familiar so I stronger than you and you lose already!

    Evil Wizard (also has no ranks in sense motive): What?! Thats not possib... but it makes logical sense that the source of magic would require a secondary node to transmit the infromation through nondimentional space...

    Korg: Arcane Transformationg! *flexes muscles* Rawwr! *Smashes wizard with his staff*

    Evil Wizard: Nooo! I knew I should have gotten that toad familiar instead of trading it for an extra feat! *dies*


    Not sure what skills you want Korg to have but Handle Animal could let you train some animals to be your familiars/summoned monsters/thralls or whatever.

    Also, there is the feat "Able Learner" that lets you buy cross class skill ranks at a ratio of 1:1 but are still limited by the maximum ranks you can have in the skill. So, instead of a character using their skill points to max out one class skill could train in two cross class skills for exactly the same numer of skill points.

    Not sure how well this fits in with the character concept but I'm thinking having Korg moderately skilled in bluffing, sense motive, and other skills could come in handy while pretending to be a wizard. Unless you'd rather he just brute force his way through everything which could work out just as well.


    Also: He can train various animals to help him (either the nice way or the les than nice way). Use a skunk as the animal focus for the stinking cloud spell.

    Oh, and see if there is a way to grapple an enemy wizard by their beard and twirl them around in a circle.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Audious View Post
    Randel, you are a gentleman and a scholar.

  19. - Top - End - #109
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    pilvento's Avatar

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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    DAM i lol´d so loud in the office, now everyone is mad at me!
    english not base lenguage, sry for the grammar, thanks.


    Kael Proudmoure, Swifblade (avatar by Loki Eremes)
    Unlimited arcane technique: Spell, Sword, and Fist.


  20. - Top - End - #110
    Firbolg in the Playground
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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    Grab enemy wizard by beard/mustache/hair/long pointy nose/eyebrows/sprouty ear hair. Win.

    Why didn't I see this before?! That is brilliant.


    Korg: *Rip off beard*
    Wizard: *Screams like girl*
    Korg: Acid Splash *throws a vial of vinegar or sea water onto the wound*
    Wizard: *screams extra loudly*
    Korg: Whoa! Must have crit, he scream real good.
    Last edited by Karoht; 2011-04-15 at 02:44 PM.
    ~~Courage is not the lack of fear~~
    Quote Originally Posted by gooddragon1 View Post
    If the party wizard can't survive a supersonic dragon made of iron at epic levels it's his own fault really.
    "In soviet dungeon, aboleth farms you!"
    "Please consult your DM before administering Steve brand Aboleth Mucus.
    Ask your DM if Aboleth Mucus is right for you.
    Side effects include coughing, sneezing, and other flu like symptoms, cancer, breathing water like a fish, loss of dignity, loss of balance, loss of bowel and bladder control."

  21. - Top - End - #111
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    I really like the idea, and may steal it in the future. However, what caused him to be this way? Why does he fervently believe that he IS a wizard?
    Settings: Weird West
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  22. - Top - End - #112
    Firbolg in the Playground
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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    Korg: Watch this. I make head of other wizard disappear!
    *lops off head, kicks it under a bush*
    It's maaaaaaaaagic!
    ~~Courage is not the lack of fear~~
    Quote Originally Posted by gooddragon1 View Post
    If the party wizard can't survive a supersonic dragon made of iron at epic levels it's his own fault really.
    "In soviet dungeon, aboleth farms you!"
    "Please consult your DM before administering Steve brand Aboleth Mucus.
    Ask your DM if Aboleth Mucus is right for you.
    Side effects include coughing, sneezing, and other flu like symptoms, cancer, breathing water like a fish, loss of dignity, loss of balance, loss of bowel and bladder control."

  23. - Top - End - #113
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    MonkGirl

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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    Quote Originally Posted by prufock View Post
    I really like the idea, and may steal it in the future. However, what caused him to be this way? Why does he fervently believe that he IS a wizard?
    Two possible reasons:

    #1: Rule of Funny.

    #2: Rule of Cool.

  24. - Top - End - #114
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    nedz's Avatar

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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    Quote Originally Posted by prufock View Post
    I really like the idea, and may steal it in the future. However, what caused him to be this way? Why does he fervently believe that he IS a wizard?
    Simple: A wizard did it.
    π = 4
    Consider a 5' radius blast: this affects 4 squares which have a circumference of 40' — Actually it's worse than that.


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  25. - Top - End - #115
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    OrcBarbarianGuy

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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    Quote Originally Posted by prufock View Post
    I really like the idea, and may steal it in the future. However, what caused him to be this way? Why does he fervently believe that he IS a wizard?
    Korg want be magic-guy. But Korg no have time for "learning". Korg figure out how be magic-guy on Korg own. Korg is intelej...indelli...intelaq.........Korg is smart. Korg be awesomeest magic-guy EVER!

    Now where Korg leave Korg famuli...famillow........Where Korg leave Korg magic-cat-pet?



    Quote Originally Posted by fizzybobnewt View Post
    Barbarizard sounds like a Pokémon.
    *barbarizard used MAGIC SMASH*
    *it was super effective*
    [retired]

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  26. - Top - End - #116
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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    What would be hilarious is if other wizards were unable to tell that Korg isn't a real wizard.

    Many wizards don't put ranks in Sense Motive, Spot, and other social/perception skills as they put the points into other knowledge skills to improve their powers.

    Evil or power hungry wizards (or the ones willing to go raid dungeons instead of go to a wizard university) often dump their charisma score. Half-Orcs especially since they would need to work extra hard to become a wizard. So if Korg acts strange or says stupid stuff then they think its a matter of him being unable to communicate his thoughts properly as opposed to not really having any arcane thoughts to begin with.

    If they see him carrying around bits of dead animals or bones then they think he's a necromancer or something, not that he's a barbarian keeping parts of his opponents as a trophy.

    Korg could pay bards to sing about his great wizardly tales and give them enough info on his "magic" to make any enemies studying him unable to tell his barbarian magic from real magic.

    Their attempts to scry on him don't detect any magic... so he must be using some abjuration to hide his magical auras! Clearly he's smart like that because few mages take the time to hide their arcane auras properly and thus expose themselves to others learning what spells they use!


    So... other mages might think he's a necromancer who's using abjuration spells to hide his magical auras, thus leaving no trail for his enemies to find his weakness and try to kill him when he inevitably becomes a lich! The fact that he's incredibly stong and durable clearly means that he's already in the process of turning himself into an undead of some sort. His appearance, strength, durability, and smell all back this theory up (though he does seem to keep his robes in better shape than other necromancers who let their robes turn into moth-eaten tatters while they are wearing them...)


    Or he's an abjurer (rare but that just makes their potential more unknown) who's hiding his auras and boosting himself with protective spells.

    Or a Transmuter who's permanantly increased his strength and constitution to eliminate the traditional Wizard weaknesses! Only particularly high level spells like Polymorph any Object can achieve a permanant effect like that so he must be powerfull... or might not have even been a half-orc origionally! He could actually have been human, or elvish, or something else before changing species. Cue enemies looking through old books to find any powerful wizards who "dissapeared" and might have taken on a new identity.

    Or he's an illusionist (easiest explaination!) and he's hiding his true power behind a veritable onion of multi-layered illusions like a diabolical cake of arcane mystery! Naturally the illusions are hiding his real spells and tricking the mind into thinking that he's just throwing rocks at people... but of course no wizard would be strong enough to throw rocks around and no other class of person could be smart enough to pretend to be a wizard!

    And of course there are those who think he's a changeling or something because no half-orc could be smart enough to wield magic like that. This doesn't discount the idea that he might actually be a member of one of those "lesser" spellcasters like a sorcerer or (god forbid) a bard or beguiler. Warmage is the absolute farthest one could rationally expect his deception to go but warmages aren't 'proper' spellcasters and anything less than that would be ridiculous.

    Though he could actually be a psion (bah, psionics isn't even close to being real magic) or some other freakish non-mage on account of his startling ability to operate inside of an anti-magic field and protect his spell from dispells, counterspells, and even disjunctions!


    Cue Krog running into various enemy wizards who are certain they know his "big secret" and try taking him out with cold iron, garlic, control undead, anti-psionic fields, or overly complex attempts to find out what god he's serving and making him break his divine vows or destroy all the plants in a 100 foot radius so he can't call on the power of nature.

    Korg: Korg not stopped by puny weak tricks. Korg magic comes from Korg and not stopped by anything except things too strong for Korg to smash with magic! *brings his big staff back* Nailed... Tooo ... THE...

    Evil Wizard: What? Nooo! He's Epic Level! And possibly some kind of arcane demigod who grants himself spells somehow!

    Korg: SKY!! *Smashes the evil wizard so hard between the legs that he's launched up into the air and smashes up into the ceiling*
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    Quote Originally Posted by Audious View Post
    Randel, you are a gentleman and a scholar.

  27. - Top - End - #117
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    nedz's Avatar

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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    Naah - what he needs is a few levels of Hulking Hurler for those Epic Teleports.
    π = 4
    Consider a 5' radius blast: this affects 4 squares which have a circumference of 40' — Actually it's worse than that.


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  28. - Top - End - #118
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    Larpus's Avatar

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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    Sorry about the slight necro, but I do feel the need to add to this with a small concept of my own: the Barbariancist.

    It basically means stretching exactly what "illiteracy" of the Barbarian means: it can be interpreted (impending GM approval) as the Barbarian being unable to write and read in all known languages, which mean that, in theory, the Barbarian can, effectively, write and read in a language known only to himself.

    As for my Barbarian, since he was in a lighthearted campaign and was almost a joke character (such as having 08 Int and acting as such but being as polished as I could be whenever he'd read his self written romances), his personal language was just the palm of his right hand stamped on the page of a book, but he still could make sense of it; in your case, your Barbarian Wizard can just say to everyone that it's "dragon language" or just say it's a language no one else knows (Orc or Undercommon usually work).

    Another thing to consider would be taking a race with Natural Armor so the Mage Armor deal is covered and, if needed, actually give him a normal armor 'cus he's such a prodigy that he learned how to cast in it.

  29. - Top - End - #119
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    SolithKnightGuy

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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    BTW, as for Barbarizard spells.
    Did you already list Explosive Runes?
    Hand someone a folded piece of paper. When they unfold it to read, hit them hard on the head with your club.
    Let me give you a brief rundown of an average Post-3E Era fight: You attack an enemy and start kicking his shins. He then starts kicking your shins, then you take it in turns kicking until one of you falls over. It basically comes down to who started the battle with the biggest boot, and the only strategy involved is realizing when things have gone tits up and legging it.

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    Default Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

    Quote Originally Posted by Firechanter View Post
    BTW, as for Barbarizard spells.
    Did you already list Explosive Runes?
    Hand someone a folded piece of paper. When they unfold it to read, hit them hard on the head with your club.
    Korg develop his own version - KonKussive Roons
    Kord also cast finger of death using titan finger (he has a titan finger made into a club, power attack enough to force a massive damage save)
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    Official spokesman of the totemist class for gestalt (and proud supporter of parenthetical asides (especially nested ones)). Author of a gestalt handbook
    Quote Originally Posted by The Glyphstone View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Nerd-o-rama View Post
    Did you just put a gear shift on a lightsaber?
    Redneck laser swords only work in manual.

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