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  1. - Top - End - #331
    Ogre in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Portal 2: The Cake Is Still A Lie

    I'm going to vote that Aperture is doing the "Throw science at a wall" thing.

    "Okay guys, we've built this portable black hole generator... Now what?"
    "No clue! Why don't we give it to a person, stick them in a bunch of chambers to let them mess around with it, and see if we come up with something?"
    "Good idea!"

    This would explain how the boots came to exist. They tossed someone in a room with a really long drop and promptly killed them, so they started working on ways to not die from massive falls.

    They wouldn't want Chell for testing because they want people to fail or give up. After all, how do you know what to improve if nobody fails and/or dies? Chell's just going to keep hammering her head against the wall until she breaks it down.
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  2. - Top - End - #332
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    Default Re: Portal 2: The Cake Is Still A Lie

    Quote Originally Posted by Grif View Post
    Take a step back there. You know what would happen if Aperture Science Innovations got that sample instead?

    Science! in the 70s. So we probably would get the Combine knocking on our door 30 years earlier. Cave Johnson would have shed a manly tear.
    Tears?

    Tears are for sissies! When life says you should cry, you take that tear and spit it in life's face! At Aperture Science, alien invasion isn't a threat, it's an opportunity!

    An opportunity for exciting field tests. So, Astronaut, War Hero, or hideous Mantis Man, hop to it! The future of humanity is in your capable hands and or terrifying organic scythes.
    Last edited by chiasaur11; 2011-04-24 at 03:41 PM.
    Remember how I was wishing for the peace of oblivion a minute ago?

    Yeah. That hasn't exactly changed with more knowledge of the situation. -Security Chief Victor Jones, formerly of the UESC Marathon.

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  3. - Top - End - #333
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    Default Re: Portal 2: The Cake Is Still A Lie

    Actually, the Long Fall Boots came about due to a reproduceable human error problem of the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device being broken after long falls. Keeping the human test subjects alive appears to be just a convenient side-effect.

    Seen here.
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  4. - Top - End - #334
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    Default Re: Portal 2: The Cake Is Still A Lie

    Quote Originally Posted by chiasaur11 View Post
    An opportunity for exciting field tests. So, Astronaut, War Hero, or hideous Mantis Man, hop to it! The future of humanity is in your capable hands and or hideous organic scythes.
    I may need to quote that.

    Quote Originally Posted by Dsurion View Post
    I don't know if you've noticed, but pretty much everything BRC posts is full of awesome.
    Quote Originally Posted by chiasaur11 View Post
    So, Astronaut, War Hero, or hideous Mantis Man, hop to it! The future of humanity is in your capable hands and or terrifying organic scythes.
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  5. - Top - End - #335
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    Default Re: Portal 2: The Cake Is Still A Lie

    Quote Originally Posted by The_Final_Stand View Post
    Actually, the Long Fall Boots came about due to a reproduceable human error problem of the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device being broken after long falls. Keeping the human test subjects alive appears to be just a convenient side-effect.

    Seen here.
    Right! They made this awesome handheld portal device and didn't know what to do next. When people started carelessly failing to shield it with their bodies they realized the next step was to build the boots!
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  6. - Top - End - #336
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    Default Re: Portal 2: The Cake Is Still A Lie

    Chiasaur, that really is an amazing quote. Do you mind if I steal it for a signature?

  7. - Top - End - #337
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    Default Re: Portal 2: The Cake Is Still A Lie

    I concur with the above posters. You wouldn't happen to be a writer for Valve by any chance?

    Oh, and I'd also like to put my name on the list for using that statement as a signature.
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  8. - Top - End - #338
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    Default Re: Portal 2: The Cake Is Still A Lie





    Notice the resemblance ? Only one of them is a quantum tunneling device and the other is a quantum destabilizer weapon.

    Probably the thing that Black Mesa stole from Aperture science...

  9. - Top - End - #339
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    Default Re: Portal 2: The Cake Is Still A Lie

    Quote Originally Posted by Bayar View Post

    Probably the thing that Black Mesa stole from Aperture science...
    That would be a pretty hilarious twist if all Black Mesa did was take products from Aperture and turned them into weapons.

  10. - Top - End - #340
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    Default Re: Portal 2: The Cake Is Still A Lie

    Quote Originally Posted by dromer View Post
    That would be a pretty hilarious twist if all Black Mesa did was take products from Aperture and turned them into weapons.
    this cant be true or else black mesa would be flinging shower curtains at the enemy!
    easy 1 step guide to impersonating Sean Connery;
    step 1: repeat after me "I moustache you a question, but I'm shaving it for later."

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  11. - Top - End - #341
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    Default Re: Portal 2: The Cake Is Still A Lie

    Quote Originally Posted by littlebottom View Post
    this cant be true or else black mesa would be flinging shower curtains at the enemy!
    Very few people know that the origins of the Python Magnum involved espionage, meetings at midnight, and a briefcase full of shower curtains.
    Last edited by dromer; 2011-04-24 at 05:04 PM.

  12. - Top - End - #342
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    Default Re: Portal 2: The Cake Is Still A Lie

    I don't buy that Chell was kept in stasis because she had so much tenacity that she could pass the tests no matter how bad she was. Remember that most of those tests kill you. If she failed, she died. She doesn't have an auto-save like people playing the game. The Chell that you start playing at the beginning of Portal 2 is one that conquered every single test in Portal 1 without falling into acid, getting shot by turrets, or getting hit with an energy ball. Ever. At the end of Portal 2, you're playing a Chell who managed to escape -- in one try -- every trap laid by Wheatley or GLaD0S, and managed to defeat same with naught but her wits and a quantum space-hole maker. AND made it before the neurotoxin\reactor meltdown timer overtook her. She never failed once, or she would have died. She doesn't get rebuilt like those robots. She just dies.

    She is not 'merely' tenacious. She has plenty of wits and intelligence. G-Man could do a lot with her, seeing what she's done in the Aperture Science labs.
    Last edited by The Linker; 2011-04-24 at 05:17 PM.

  13. - Top - End - #343
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    Default Re: Portal 2: The Cake Is Still A Lie

    Quote Originally Posted by The Linker View Post
    She is not 'merely' tenacious. She has plenty of wits and intelligence. G-Man could do a lot with her, seeing what she's done in the Aperture Science labs.
    That or a lot of dumb luck, bullet holes, laser scars, and possibly a concussion or two.
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  14. - Top - End - #344
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    Default Re: Portal 2: The Cake Is Still A Lie

    Quote Originally Posted by dukexx View Post
    Chiasaur, that really is an amazing quote. Do you mind if I steal it for a signature?
    Not in the slightest.
    Remember how I was wishing for the peace of oblivion a minute ago?

    Yeah. That hasn't exactly changed with more knowledge of the situation. -Security Chief Victor Jones, formerly of the UESC Marathon.

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  15. - Top - End - #345
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    Default Re: Portal 2: The Cake Is Still A Lie

    Quote Originally Posted by Gicko View Post
    That or a lot of dumb luck, bullet holes, laser scars, and possibly a concussion or two.
    You could say that about any video game character, then. Gordan Freeman's no skilled, brave freedom fighter! He's just a dumb, lucky scientist whose luckiness was foretold by aliens.
    Last edited by The Linker; 2011-04-24 at 05:48 PM.

  16. - Top - End - #346
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    Default Re: Portal 2: The Cake Is Still A Lie

    Quote Originally Posted by The Linker View Post
    You could say that about any video game character, then. Gordan Freeman's no skilled, brave freedom fighter! He's just a dumb, lucky scientist whose luckiness was foretold by aliens.
    Blasphemy! Gordon freeman is only the bravest, most noble character to ever exist! He is a hero! he is a legend! He is a father figure! He is the man who will lead Valve, and the entire PC gaming master race to salvation!

    LONG LIVE FREEMAN! LONG LIVE CHELL! LONG LIVE VALVE!


    ok i'm done.
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  17. - Top - End - #347
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    Default Re: Portal 2: The Cake Is Still A Lie

    Quote Originally Posted by The Linker View Post
    You could say that about any video game character, then. Gordan Freeman's no skilled, brave freedom fighter! He's just a dumb, lucky scientist whose luckiness was foretold by aliens.
    Ah, but Chell's bullet-sponge traits are among the best in vidjamagames. In nothing but a jumpsuit, she can take several seconds of automatic gunfire at a time (using the whole bullet, no less) and heal it almost instantly. Her regenerative abilities are up there with Alyx and Father Grigori, without the latter's inability to figure out how to move out of fires.
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  18. - Top - End - #348
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    Default Re: Portal 2: The Cake Is Still A Lie

    Really? The Whole bullet? That's like 60% more bullet, per bullet!

    If you take those videos at their word, then the Turrets don't actually fire the bullet with gunpowder, they just knock it on the back really hard.

    Quote Originally Posted by Dsurion View Post
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    Quote Originally Posted by chiasaur11 View Post
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  19. - Top - End - #349
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    Default Re: Portal 2: The Cake Is Still A Lie

    Quote Originally Posted by BRC View Post
    Really? The Whole bullet? That's like 60% more bullet, per bullet!

    If you take those videos at their word, then the Turrets don't actually fire the bullet with gunpowder, they just knock it on the back really hard.
    They also have nothing but a giant pile of bullets inside them that doesent clog them up.
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  20. - Top - End - #350
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    Default Re: Portal 2: The Cake Is Still A Lie

    Don't know if anyone posted, but Valve made a test resolution style personality test.

  21. - Top - End - #351
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    Default Re: Portal 2: The Cake Is Still A Lie

    I got Weighted Companion Cube.
    Quote Originally Posted by GungHo, on Battletech
    The Atlas is also goofy but it has that whole "Stay Puft Marshmallow Man" menacing smile thing going for it. The guy who drew that one up was obviously taken to the Nutcracker when he was a child... and he was screaming in terror the entire time.
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  22. - Top - End - #352
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    Default Re: Portal 2: The Cake Is Still A Lie

    Atlas.

    So, the thing to take away is that I am less than entirely psychotic.
    Remember how I was wishing for the peace of oblivion a minute ago?

    Yeah. That hasn't exactly changed with more knowledge of the situation. -Security Chief Victor Jones, formerly of the UESC Marathon.

    X-Com avatar by BRC. He's good folks.

  23. - Top - End - #353
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    Default Re: Portal 2: The Cake Is Still A Lie

    Turret.

    Ideal for testing with partners who are willing to inform me every 5 seconds that they are still there, and to stay in front of me at all times.
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  24. - Top - End - #354
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    Default Re: Portal 2: The Cake Is Still A Lie

    GlaDos. Oh dear. Watch out I might do something FOR SCIENCE!
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  25. - Top - End - #355
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    Default Re: Portal 2: The Cake Is Still A Lie

    Quote Originally Posted by dromer View Post
    Don't know if anyone posted, but Valve made a test resolution style personality test.
    Cave Johnsson here.

    If you suffer from temporary blindness after taking that test don't worry. The boys in the lab use radiation to measure your brain activity while testing. If it persists do start worrying, that's normal behaviour.

    Cave Johnsson, we're done here.
    Last edited by pffh; 2011-04-24 at 07:23 PM.
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  26. - Top - End - #356
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    Default Re: Portal 2: The Cake Is Still A Lie

    I got Chell. But now I've exceeded my limit on speech.
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  27. - Top - End - #357
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    Default Re: Portal 2: The Cake Is Still A Lie

    Your Aperture Science Cooperative Testing Type is:
    Cave Johnson

    You don't see crises-only challengitunities you choose to scale like mountains. You're a can-do, shoot-from-the-hip, silver-tongued self-starter. You're a good match for any cooperative test partner, providing they shut up and listen.
    We're done here.

  28. - Top - End - #358
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    Default Re: Portal 2: The Cake Is Still A Lie

    Atlas. was not expecting that.
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  29. - Top - End - #359
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    Default Re: Portal 2: The Cake Is Still A Lie

    I wouldn't be surprised if that test only takes into account the color you wish your eyes were, and ignores everything else.
    Last edited by AgentPaper; 2011-04-24 at 07:50 PM.
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  30. - Top - End - #360
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    Default Re: Portal 2: The Cake Is Still A Lie

    Funny.
    Ratman

    You're the quiet, artistic type, happy to ponder the solution to a puzzle in quiet solitude. Compatible cooperative test partners include introspective loners, deaf-mute invisible people, and mannequins.
    wasn't expecting that.

    Just finished co-op, very entertaining.
    But if I ever had doubt about Glados sadstic/murderous tendencies, they're gone.

    Quote Originally Posted by Worira View Post
    Ah, but Chell's bullet-sponge traits are among the best in vidjamagames. In nothing but a jumpsuit, she can take several seconds of automatic gunfire at a time (using the whole bullet, no less) and heal it almost instantly.
    (Knowing Glados I wouldn't be surprised if she used rubber bullets so her test subject can last longer (enough to get to the more interesting tests anyway.) You can still die from repeated blunt trauma and that would explain the overalllow damge/high stopping power ratio they have.
    Last edited by smuchmuch; 2011-04-24 at 08:06 PM.
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