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2011-05-11, 09:35 PM (ISO 8601)
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2011-05-11, 09:40 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: My Little Pony VII: The Grand Galloping Thread
Last edited by darthbobcat; 2011-05-11 at 09:41 PM.
My anime review podcast is coming back after a one year hiatus! www.fivepointpodcast.com
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2011-05-11, 09:55 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: My Little Pony VII: The Grand Galloping Thread
Aha, finally got a 300 word story out.
SpoilerNopony could remember a time when it had rained so hard. Yet Spike waded through the rain, determined to reach his destination.
It did not deter him when Twilight warned about the imminent downpour. Nor did it bother him when his umbrella broke under the rain. No, this is something he must do, and he will do it today, no matter the consequences.
Shivering, he stopped under the rooftop of Sugarcube Corner.
“Hi, Spike!” a familiar voice greeted him.
Startled, the dragon turned towards the pink earth pony. “Hey there, Pinkie Pie.”
“What are you doing in the rain?” she asked questioningly.
And so Spike told her.
“Why didn’t you say so before? Come, let me get my umbrella and we can go together!” Pinkie said enthusiastically.
They both braved the rain, towards Spike’s destination, the barber shop.
“Hello? Is anyone there?” Spike called out into the darkened shop.
A flash of lightning, and a shadow of a pony appeared.
“Who goes there?” he asked, voice weary and tired.
“I’m here for my shipment, sir.”
“Ah yes, your shipment. Right this way, Master Spike.” the shadowy pony gestured for the two to follow. Shrugging, Pinkie followed Spike into the darkness of the shop.
The trio walked past darkened corridors, eerie shadows in each corner. Finally, the pony stopped, and gestured down a stairwell. “You will find your package down the cellar, Master Spike. I hope you will find it acceptable.”
“Yeah, yeah, let’s see it.” Spike said impatiently and bounded down the staircase.
In the dimly lit cellar below, a singular chest awaited the pair. Nervous with anticipation, Spike slowly walked towards the chest, and opened it.
“It’s… beautiful!” Pinkie said wondrously.
“Yes, a beauty, right?” Spike said proudly, displaying his new treasure.
A complete set of beards.
Probably not as good as our esteemed authors here, but hey, it's all mine.
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2011-05-11, 10:05 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: My Little Pony VII: The Grand Galloping Thread
That was silly. Good silly. Nice job.
So, I've continued work on Fair Feather Friend chapter 5. In fact, I've decided to split it in two, though I still intend to submit both chapters to Fanfiction.net on the same day. However, I've uploaded what I have so far (chapter 5) to google docs.
WARNING. DO NOT CLICK IF YOU DON'T LIKE SPOILERS. Please talk about it in spoiler tags or via PM or IM ([email protected], if you have a service that connects to MSN).
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1...1OZ5MTFE/edit#
I'd appreciate any comments and critiques, though I'll warn people that these are high grade spoilers.
I'm open to any suggestion. I'm even open to the idea of just submitting this now and writing chapter 6 starting tonight, if you think this is a serviceable cliffhanger.
Thanks as always to anyone who decides to help me out.Last edited by darthbobcat; 2011-05-11 at 10:24 PM.
My anime review podcast is coming back after a one year hiatus! www.fivepointpodcast.com
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2011-05-11, 10:12 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: My Little Pony VII: The Grand Galloping Thread
Good afternoon.
This is fantastic. It's innocence turning into determination. I love all this guy's stuff.
Will endeavor to get caught up on fanfic and stuff where I can
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2011-05-11, 11:14 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: My Little Pony VII: The Grand Galloping Thread
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2011-05-11, 11:24 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Sep 2008
Re: My Little Pony VII: The Grand Galloping Thread
The tenses always gets me. Always. I swear they are out for me. /looks shiftily around
Anyways, thanks for the read through and comments.
Originally Posted by darthbobcat
Gonna submit this now before I lose my nerve again.
BY CELESTIA'S BEARD IT WILL BE DONE!
Coincidentally I was listening to Sonic Rainboom while I was writing this.Last edited by Grif; 2011-05-11 at 11:25 PM.
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2011-05-11, 11:42 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: My Little Pony VII: The Grand Galloping Thread
Nitpick and Typos of Misted Stage:
Spoiler
Chapter 1:
"Hey, Braeburn." He seemed mighty plum about something, so I gave him a grin. (you mean glum, I think)
"My apologies! Will not happen again, my lord! (should there be an "it" before "will not?")
So we ate, and laughed, and minded our manners as best we could, we actors being rather uncouth hooligans more suited for a bazaar's square than a royal dining-hall, and nothing of true import (other than that one wink) happened for a while, until a guards-pony approached me, coughing politely. (that seems like it should be more than one sentence).
No use repaying ill for ill, as Granma once told me. (I'd spell it Grandma)
I'd be right proper ticked at you right now, and no mistake. (I'd drop the word and there)
Chapter 2
The only pony with that kind of hair that I knew was the troupe magician, "Doctor" Whooves, (isn't Trixie a Troupe Magician too?)
Prediction: Nails is Spike, via Genie Wish. (went back to check. yup. hair/skin color confirms it. Also how he knew the lines.)
Stream of consciousness thoughts on Misted Stage:
Spoiler
Hm, I found myself a little confused by Chapter 1. I figured out what was going on, but I didn't have a sense of why to start with. Was there a prequel to this that I missed?
It isn't always clear when there's a new scene or time has passed between paragraphs, like on page 2 and 3.
Oh wait. I missed the line "an admission, huh?" Okay, things make much more sense now.
Rainbow Dash is the Sultana's guard? ... And Celestia... is the Sultana. This is straight out Alternate Universe, or I'm really missing something.
It strikes me as rather OOC for Princess Celestia to offer to have Dash executed. I don't know if it's in character for Sultana Celestia or not, but it is jarring to me.
I like your first person take on Braeburn.
Really really do. Love his long winded speech to Dash.
Braeburn/Dash is potentially cute.
Finished Chapter 1. I felt really lost through a lot of it, since I hadn't realized this was an alternate universe. Arabian Nights + Ponies, starring a Cow-pony, is an interesting idea.
Chapter 2
I'm surprised you keep referring to Rarity, but she hasn't talked yet.
mouth like a weasel drinking Coltcuttan coffee. I love this line.
Conclusion: I probably wouldn't have read this fic without providing critique, but it's growing on me. I like how you write Braeburn. I generally prefer original flavor stuff, but this has gotten me hooked. Looking over my stream of consciousness stuff, the bit about Celestiaseems rather out of character to me; everyone else is still themselves to a T, so while it's Arabian Nights world building flavor, it seems out of keeping with the character. That's the only issue I have with it, and I'll definitely read the next chapter.Spoilercasually offering to have Dash executedMy anime review podcast is coming back after a one year hiatus! www.fivepointpodcast.com
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2011-05-11, 11:48 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: My Little Pony VII: The Grand Galloping Thread
Known about their stuff for a while and absolutely loved it, but I felt the urge to comment on this particular one. Partially because the first time I listened to it I hated it, but when I listened again more closely and paid attention to how the music rose and surged, and the emotion and buildup behind it, I absolutely fell in love with it.
"The Stars Will Aid Her Escape" is almost my top pic though, but they're all great.
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2011-05-12, 12:03 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: My Little Pony VII: The Grand Galloping Thread
300-word submission, starring (The Not-Yet Great and Poweful) Trixie:
SpoilerSo many choices!
The sheer number of models overwhelmed Trixie’s little filly head. Her father had offered to buy Trixie her own stage carriage at her childish insistence after his last show, but now that she was here, how was she ever supposed to pick one out?
There were big ones, small ones, all shapes and sizes! Even though they all came standard with stage transformation enchantments, anypony looking to buy one still had to sift through so many options: windows and locks and axle castings and interior panelings and dozens more. Simply impossible amounts of decisions to be made.
So here she was, wandering aimlessly down aisle upon aisle, row upon row, an entire field covered by more rolling abodes than Trixie had thought existed in all of Equestria. One by one, she turned them down for some reason or another. She knew that when she picked one, it would have to be perfect. There was no alternative.
Luckily, her father put up with her exacting demands. It ran in the family, that demand for the best. It was in the blood of everypony who had ever stood on stage and felt the gaze of hundreds upon them; once you tasted that you were never again able to settle for less than perfection. And so he would wait as long as it took for —
“Dad.”
— that. “Yes, my little rising star?”
Trixie stood, transfixed, in front of her choice. One windowed door, a pair of shutters, and an apple-red roof. Four wheels, yellow siding, and at the front, an unassuming pole to hang a sign from. So quiet and timid, broken down in a corner and half-unfurled. Ready for its debut.
“I found it. This one, right here:
“This is my stage. There are many like it, but this one . . . this one is mine.”
In related news, something you may not have known:
SpoilerThe phrase "This is my [thing]. There are many like it, but this one is mine," is originally a part of the US Marine Corp Rifleman's Code.
AND NOW YOU KNOWLast edited by AlterForm; 2011-05-12 at 12:04 AM.
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2011-05-12, 12:13 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: My Little Pony VII: The Grand Galloping Thread
Heeeey, you left the battle unfinished! Knowing is only half the battle! (hands you a gun) GO FINISH WHAT YOU STARTED.
EDIT
Man, it's like a nothing storm hit this thread. Clearly we need something to get us out of the doldrums.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pY4vw...el_video_titleLast edited by darthbobcat; 2011-05-12 at 02:09 AM.
My anime review podcast is coming back after a one year hiatus! www.fivepointpodcast.com
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2011-05-12, 02:32 AM (ISO 8601)
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2011-05-12, 02:39 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: My Little Pony VII: The Grand Galloping Thread
My anime review podcast is coming back after a one year hiatus! www.fivepointpodcast.com
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2011-05-12, 02:50 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: My Little Pony VII: The Grand Galloping Thread
Now I find myself worried I left my submission too late.
http://www.equestriadaily.com/2011/0...re-closed.htmlLast edited by Grif; 2011-05-12 at 02:51 AM.
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2011-05-12, 02:51 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: My Little Pony VII: The Grand Galloping Thread
My anime review podcast is coming back after a one year hiatus! www.fivepointpodcast.com
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2011-05-12, 02:55 AM (ISO 8601)
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2011-05-12, 04:04 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: My Little Pony VII: The Grand Galloping Thread
I know! Sorry, today was my first day off where I also wasn't dog-sitting a city over or being called into work at odd hours. I slept from whenever I signed out last night to about 5:30 this afternoon
Boy do I feel better for it though. Half-tempted to call off D&D and just sit around and Pony.
Here's hoping you go it in, mate. Would hate for such effort to be for naught.
Also, for those weak of heart;
BEYOND THIS POINT
HERE THERE BE SPOILERS!
SpoilerThe girls getting ready for the gala? Priceless. Rainbow Dash with a towel was cute, Rarity and her sense of propriety likewise. I notice that the lashes are shorter on the eye which hasn't been treated yet, and I'll admit that artificial lashes were weird. No reason to think anything other than 'Rarity likes to get gussied up' however- every female pony has lashes. You don't think Applebloom puts on fake lashes every morning do you? No, I think they were enhancers, because her natural ones weren't enough.
The carriage? Friend called it. The horses, though... What the hay, Twilight? What. The. Hay?!
Not only was it weird that she would get a carriage, but getting horses to pull it? Weird.
Ok, so, getting to canterlot isn't nearly as hard as we previously thought; the foreground mountains seem to hide a very mild grade with a paved road. Sure, I'll buy it. Kind of removes the mystique of 'unicorns only' however.
The first thing I notice about the Gala, and Canterlot proper, however... Well, it requires me to use Jakhaivah's words. This place has some damn quality. There are unicorns in attendance, hired for the sole purpose of making your entrance more awesome. Think about it- the unicorn butler-type people show up. The crew burst into sog, possibl dance.
And these magic-trained public servants enhance the piece with a mystical ensemble, background singing, harmonizing, timing, and even customization via rock music for the rocketed Pegasus.
That is one Celestia of an investment. Whoever was autocrat of this section of the event, they deserve a damn medal.
Now, we also have ponies in attendance. Their are pony bluebloods. There is also a working, peaceful and consumer-based government. This leads me to believe that the aristocracy doesn't actually do anything. They are allowed to be all rich and blue-bloody to keep them away from the finely tuned engine that is pony-conomics.
I mean, let's think about it. Ponyville, Cloudsdale, Canterlot, and by extension all of equestria, functions without any of the hitches one would expect from a feudal monarchy, or any similarly relevant governmental type. Celestia must have found a way to appease all proponents, developing a working system to be used 'in tandem' (read: instead of, but not really) the old monarchism system. Because ponies are so nice, most of the problems fueled by ego just don't surface; the pony-stocracy don't really care that they aren't running the world, and the ... What was it? Ponytariat don't make a stink about still having non-functional aristocrats. They even seem properly socially deferential!
This also dovetails nicely with everyone being so snooty about what kind of party it was. Canterlot, it's castles, and the Gala are really all the ponystocracy has left; commoners mucking it up is actually quite insulting in this regard.
Also, we are forced to admit that the cutie mark doesn't mean what we think it means. There are differeing levels of relevance between cutie marks and their connected endeavors. Those ponies whose mark most closely correlates seem to be more hale and awesome than those without, though. Anyway, that's a tangent I don't want to go down.
Cutie marks. Fluttershy's CM has nothing to do with her being good with animals. Nothing. Intead, it's a token of how she response the knowledge of her life's path. Same with Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and most likely every pony who doesn't have obvious associations. Rose, probably raises flowers, but maybe she discovered herself during the blooming one day? Lyra probably plays the lyre, but Ditzy-Doo doesn't have any bubble-related super powers. So we can surmise that, if a pony has a fireball CM, rather than chucking explosives, they probably discovered themselves In a way that involved a blaze.
Prince blueblood. I'm actually on Hasbro's side, here. He just wouldn't work as a duke; the correlations with snooty jerk fit Prince so much more. So I'm glad they made that change.
His CM seems to be a compass rose. I can only liken this to his desire to be a leader, and direct Equestria. Much like a compass rose, however, it's theoretical. One day he will find that doing rather than merely hypothesizing is a beast of entirely different magnitudes.
Celestia has quickly become one of my favorite characters. She is... Relateable. I can see myself bein interested in her story, where the rest of the cast I view as young'ns. Celestia is my equal. I'd like to sit with her in a corner over coffee and let the poor dear pour her heart out, really. Or arrange a simultaneous Luna is Queen For The Day and Hey Look A Warehouse Full Of Your Friends And Favorite Food And Music Trip.
Gee, what else? I'll go back and scan. I remember there was A Lot of stuff I wanted to talk about, but I was leaving off until either
A) Trixie, PhoeKun and Kpenguin saw the episode, or
B) enough pages went by that I wouldn't feel bad talking about it.
So, there is bound to be more. But what do my thoughts stir in you good folk?
Oh, another detail for my afford search; it was a point generation, non-d20 set-up. As an aside, since I've decided I probably dreamed the whole thing.
And thank you, Pony Thread Playgrounders. Today was one of the best in recent years, simply by having such lifted spirits. You've all directly increased my Joy of Life. So thanks for that. now I'm going to catch up on today's awesomeness.Last edited by SiuiS; 2011-05-12 at 07:30 AM. Reason: So I don't hurt my friends feelings :(
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2011-05-12, 04:43 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: My Little Pony VII: The Grand Galloping Thread
I was about to quote that post, but I'm too scared that I'll catch some of the spoilers before I delete that part of the quote.
Anyway
Thank you for your concern and thank you to everyone for waiting for we who lag behind.Visit the Chocolate Hammer IRC channel!
(IRC Joining Guide Here!)
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2011-05-12, 04:57 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: My Little Pony VII: The Grand Galloping Thread
Recent Homebrew: The Socialite | The Crystalline: Memory Altering Construct Race | Sanguine Hand, a ToB Discipline of blood and cruelty
Homebrew Signature | NEW Homebrew Collection
Thanks to all my avatar artists, especially to Paisley for my avatar of Vivian, cowardly cryophoenix.
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2011-05-12, 04:57 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: My Little Pony VII: The Grand Galloping Thread
Sweet Savoury Pie, KPenguin! You still haven't been able to see it? Golly. There is nothing that can save you now, except maybe a deep roiling dread, thick as a fog of grease pouring out of your mind and smothering your heart.
If you've had this long to build up the episode, it cannot possibly live up to your expectations
Well actually, it may be able to. Hm, now I want to know.
Ok, I bet that, despite the build up, the episode will live up to KPenguin's expectations. Any takers? Phoe, maybe?
Wait, no. That's backward, I kinda wanna lose. Ok, I bet the episode won't live up to his expectations, so if it does then I pay up, and ifit doesn't... Wait, Which side of this do I want robe on?! Ach.
First one, so if KPenguin is happy, good, and if not, I had to give him <insert ante here> so he'll still be happy. There we go.
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2011-05-12, 05:12 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: My Little Pony VII: The Grand Galloping Thread
Come one, come all! GitP MLP Steam Group is open!
Current location of the last MLP Thread OP, too.
Want to ask me something? Use MAIL or message me on Steam!
"Well, the Great and Powerful Trixie can't actually transport you to Equestria... But!
The Great and Powerful Trixie can beat you over the head until you think that's what happened!"
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2011-05-12, 05:19 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: My Little Pony VII: The Grand Galloping Thread
Recent Homebrew: The Socialite | The Crystalline: Memory Altering Construct Race | Sanguine Hand, a ToB Discipline of blood and cruelty
Homebrew Signature | NEW Homebrew Collection
Thanks to all my avatar artists, especially to Paisley for my avatar of Vivian, cowardly cryophoenix.
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2011-05-12, 05:24 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: My Little Pony VII: The Grand Galloping Thread
Come one, come all! GitP MLP Steam Group is open!
Current location of the last MLP Thread OP, too.
Want to ask me something? Use MAIL or message me on Steam!
"Well, the Great and Powerful Trixie can't actually transport you to Equestria... But!
The Great and Powerful Trixie can beat you over the head until you think that's what happened!"
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2011-05-12, 05:24 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: My Little Pony VII: The Grand Galloping Thread
Differing timeframes, Sugarcube. You come on to the scene during what are, to me, the wee hours. This is the earliest I've seen you in a goodly while (3 am). Other than waking up every hour to check for a response, my schedule just doesn't make speaking to you easy.
I'm working on getting up really early instead, but that will require my job not keeping me in uniform until midnight :(
How could you...
At first, I said I would wait utility page three but it happened so fast... So 13 was a good enough starting point.Last edited by SiuiS; 2011-05-12 at 05:27 AM.
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2011-05-12, 05:36 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: My Little Pony VII: The Grand Galloping Thread
Recent Homebrew: The Socialite | The Crystalline: Memory Altering Construct Race | Sanguine Hand, a ToB Discipline of blood and cruelty
Homebrew Signature | NEW Homebrew Collection
Thanks to all my avatar artists, especially to Paisley for my avatar of Vivian, cowardly cryophoenix.
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2011-05-12, 05:43 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: My Little Pony VII: The Grand Galloping Thread
I'm trying! MSN has decided it doesn't want to be in my party until I improve either my diplomacy or intimidate, though.
I'm going to go with diplomacy, this time. Very little is accomplished by punching a phone.
Well, except needing another phone, eventually...
EDIT: now I'm mildly worried that between this and the betting, I may have offended someoneLast edited by SiuiS; 2011-05-12 at 06:54 AM.
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2011-05-12, 07:12 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: My Little Pony VII: The Grand Galloping Thread
http://www.equestriadaily.com/2011/0...microwave.html
Ha, a cute and funny fic involving Luna... and modern technology.
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2011-05-12, 07:45 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: My Little Pony VII: The Grand Galloping Thread
today has been quite a day. And most of a night, as well. *yawn*
So I have discovered an interesting disparity; different writing programs have their own memory, rather than using a universal memory. What this means is that a word which is recognized online (such as here on the playground) won't be recognized elsewhere. Further, different forums have different memories; E-Samurai recognizes my occasional brittish spellings (with a 'u' after the 'o', or an 's' rather than 'z' for example) but the GitP forums do not. The GitP forums recognize pony words (and will even correct normal words into pony words!) where my notepad will not.
So, Thanqol, DarthBobCat, Raz_Fox, PhoeKun, Irbis- I've misspelled your names, and this is why. I'm sorry. I get lazy when I type, and I type fast enough to be a couple words ahead before auto-correct kicks in.
Trixie, I think I've corrected the thing that upset you. Lemme know, aye?
I've changed my mind on how to respond. I you don't mind?
Hurr Hurr Hurr
... Banana phone?
Glad you approve :)
Sadly, the quality relies on brevity. Faced with a choice of monumental, nigh Epic writing, or writing to my heart's content? I rarely choose good writing.
That's actually pretty neat. I figured Luna would show up but was afraid she would have a background cameo. Derpy... I don't know what to make of it. The production crew isn't allowed to read fanfiction or fancomics. Can canon Ditzy be as cool as fanon Derpy?
Let's find out together, aye?
This doesn't hold water. He wasn't deferred to for being royal, he was deferred to out of pragmatism. He's an introverted narcissist- the worst kind. I mean, even I am an extrovert! It makes the narcissism much easier to handle.
No, BlueBlood's nature is to be primped. There isn't a single atom in him which would be fit to rule in a ruthless fashion. He is instead full of Ruth.
I have trouble seeing him feeding himself.
Which means, ten years down the line?
Silver Spoon has some darn good job security. Har.
No time to read the fic, Grif, but I will mark it for perusal when my eyes aren't sporadically crossing themselves. That I can type anyway says volumes about how much I use the device, here. Not necessarily good, I'm afraid.
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2011-05-12, 08:23 AM (ISO 8601)
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2011-05-12, 08:42 AM (ISO 8601)
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