General Exalted Discussion V: Our Armies are Pants

[Neon Knight]

So about that whole "no time travel" rule...Assume that during the First Age, Solar Jack got bored and invented a form of sorcery based on creating a swirl of essence that condenses down into a ring singularity (since according to Ink Monkeys, creating black holes is a Solar theme ). Now, let's say that during the present, Solar Jack remembers that he created a singularity in a certain way and duplicates the process, creating a wormhole. Assuming First Age Jack doesn't notice what's going on because he has better things to do, what are the implications of a party of one Solar, two Lunars, an Abyssal, and an Alchemical going back to the end of the First Age? Note that Solar Jack is an NPC who will be making sure the gate doesn't close on the party.

Really? Hm. I thought how it went was Solar Jack was a first age Solar who got banished to the future by the Ebon Dragon, to after the Return of the Scarlet Empress, and now he has to get back to the past. Or am I thinking of something else? =P

[TheCountAlucard]

All right, Neon Knight, that wins an Internet from me.

[Lord Raziere]

well maybe Solar Jack got cryogenized or something and has to find a way back? like doing some crazy thing with the Wyld?

[vegetalss4]

The point is that while you are in a normal time-stream, you can use demon-summoning to send information to your past self, who can then use that information to undo the future. You can't go back to before you created the chancel-phone booth though, so far as I can see.

Apparently, all methods for getting information across Cecelyne in less than five days are getting slated for errata according to one of the freelancers.

[Lord Raziere]

Apparently, all methods for getting information across Cecelyne in less than five days are getting slated for errata according to one of the freelancers.

think of it as more like relativity- five days both ways, its all happening at the same time, it just takes five days for time to catch up with itself.

[vegetalss4]

I am not sure what you mean by that, but it really isn't very complicated.

stuff happens in Malfeas and outside of Malfeas as normal, it just takes anything five days to go from or to Malfeas, no matter how fast you go, because Cecelyne is infinite but isn't allowed to be longer than five days travel wide.

[Turalisj]

Really? Hm. I thought how it went was Solar Jack was a first age Solar who got banished to the future by the Ebon Dragon, to after the Return of the Scarlet Empress, and now he has to get back to the past. Or am I thinking of something else? =P

Don't forget his sword, a white jade daiklave forged with the power of all the incarnae.

[Gensh]

Really? Hm. I thought how it went was Solar Jack was a first age Solar who got banished to the future by the Ebon Dragon, to after the Return of the Scarlet Empress, and now he has to get back to the past. Or am I thinking of something else? =P

Bluh. I can't believe I didn't realize that was going to come up.

[DragonSinged]

Not really - you're getting information about something you're going to do in five days, which you can then muck up by dying. The main point against time travel in Exalted is to give decisions permanence by preventing the ability to just go back and perfectly fix things so the colossal screwups never happened.

Can you muck it up by dying, though? Because I thought the thing with demon summoning was that the demon would only start the five-day journey if it was absolutely going to be summoned. If you mucked it up by dying, then the demon wouldn't have started travelling in the first place... unless someone else were to summon that exact demon in your place, I suppose?

I thought I remembered reading about first-age Solars experimenting with selecting random demons for summoning, monitoring them five days ahead of time, and then just before summoning them, flipping a coin to determine whether or not they would summon that particular demon, and the only ones that started moving ahead of time were the ones that ended up getting summoned. Something like that.

EDIT: Although I guess what you're saying is that if you-in-the-past is monitoring a demon that you-five-days-from-now successfully summons, you-in-the-past would see that demon start to move, and so you could conclude that you-five-days-from-now successfully summoned that demon, so you-in-the-past might make some decision based on that information, which ends up with you-in-the-past dying, thus paradoxing up the place. But if that happened, then wouldn't the demon retroactively not make the five day journey, so that you couldn't make that decision to-

Big ball of wibbley-wobbley, timey-wimey... stuff.

[Tavar]

So. You know, in the morning, you just want some delicious bacon? But, honestly, no one can quite make it like you can, and you're still half asleep. This charm is your solution.

Makin Bacon Prana.
Cost: - (1m) Mins:Craft 1, Essence 1; Type: Permanent
Duration: Permanent
Prerequisite Charms: None

As an innate power the Solar can spend one mote in order to gain one die on the
roll to make breakfast. If he used an excellency, halve it's cost per die. If it in he used Craftsman Needs No Tools, he counts as cooking it in a Factory Cathedral. He does need the actual food to make it.

[Recaiden]

So. You know, in the morning, you just want some delicious bacon? But, honestly, no one can quite make it like you can, and you're still half asleep. This charm is your solution.

Makin Bacon Prana.
Cost: - (1m) Mins:Craft 1, Essence 1; Type: Permanent
Duration: Permanent
Prerequisite Charms: None

As an innate power the Solar can spend one mote in order to gain one die on the
roll to make breakfast. If he used an excellency, halve it's cost per die. If it in he used Craftsman Needs No Tools, he counts as cooking it in a Factory Cathedral. He does need the actual food to make it.

Does that actually help cook in any way?

[TheCountAlucard]

Does that actually help cook in any way?

Yes. Normally you suffer penalties for not having the appropriate tools for crafting. For artifact crafting, even CNNT has penalties - you need a factory-cathedral; as such, if you want to make artifact bacon, having a factory-cathedral helps.

[Qaera]

So. You know, in the morning, you just want some delicious bacon? But, honestly, no one can quite make it like you can, and you're still half asleep. This charm is your solution.

Makin Bacon Prana.
Cost: - (1m) Mins:Craft 1, Essence 1; Type: Permanent
Duration: Permanent
Prerequisite Charms: None

As an innate power the Solar can spend one mote in order to gain one die on the
roll to make breakfast. If he used an excellency, halve it's cost per die. If it in he used Craftsman Needs No Tools, he counts as cooking it in a Factory Cathedral. He does need the actual food to make it.

No Epic Meal Time reference? Disappointment.

~ ♅

[Xefas]

So. You know, in the morning, you just want some delicious bacon? But, honestly, no one can quite make it like you can, and you're still half asleep. This charm is your solution.

Makin Bacon Prana.
Cost: - (1m) Mins:Craft 1, Essence 1; Type: Permanent
Duration: Permanent
Prerequisite Charms: None

As an innate power the Solar can spend one mote in order to gain one die on the
roll to make breakfast. If he used an excellency, halve it's cost per die. If it in he used Craftsman Needs No Tools, he counts as cooking it in a Factory Cathedral. He does need the actual food to make it.

Principle Invoking Onslaught will turn your alarm clock into so many resource dots of bacon.

[Tavar]

Does that actually help cook in any way?

You do get bonuses for superior tools.

[Recaiden]

You do get bonuses for superior tools.

But...factory cathedral!
Builds giant robots!
Is not kitchen!
Confused sentence fragments!

Would probably be some awesome bacon though.

[Xefas]

But...factory cathedral!
Builds giant robots!
Is not kitchen!
Confused sentence fragments!

It can also add bonuses to (and can automate the process of) cooking, which falls under Craft (Water). Yes, each Factory Cathedral is equipped with a giant laser whose only purpose is to make magic gumbo.

[golentan]

Principle Invoking Onslaught will turn your alarm clock into so many resource dots of bacon.

Which is either a lot of bacon or the best, most expensive bacon you can imagine. Either way, I approve heartily.

[Kris Strife]

Which is either a lot of bacon or the best, most expensive bacon you can imagine. Either way, I approve heartily.

Your heart, however, does not.

[Xefas]

Your heart, however, does not.

Defilers have other means of dealing with that.

EDIT:

Peer Shielding Umbilicus
Cost: 2m; Mins: Essence 4; Type: Reflexive
Keywords: Combo-OK, Obvious
Duration: Indefinite
Prerequisite Charms: Pattern Reassertion Touch, Mind-Hand Manipulation

A thin stream of white essence floats from the Warlock's heart to one willing being within range of their Mind Hand Manipulation charm. So long as the spent motes remain committed, and the target remains within range, they receive the same restorative benefits as your Ego Infused Pattern Primacy charm and any effects that modify it. While this charm is active, you may not make telekinetic attacks or clinches with your Mind-Hand Manipulation charm.

A second purchase at Essence 6 increases the number of subjects that may targeted by this charm to (Infernal's Essence). Each effected subject requires a separate commitment of motes, and one target being outside of your range does not prevent the others from receiving aid. As long as you have at least one less target covered than your possible maximum, you are free to make telekinetic attacks with Mind-Hand Manipulation.

[Tavar]

But...factory cathedral!
Builds giant robots!
Is not kitchen!
Confused sentence fragments!

Would probably be some awesome bacon though.

It gives bonuses higher than perfect tools.

Plus Factory Cathedrals can be made with several specifications. Craft(water) is certainly in bounds.

[RPGuru1331]

This reminds me of the DM in my first ever Exalted game, who made sure to hand us Useless Charms for free periodically, which we'd design. You know, stuff like this. I'm sure if it was out at the time one of us would have had Crisped Tuber Devouring Method or similar.

[Feriority]

But...factory cathedral!
Builds giant robots!
Is not kitchen!
Confused sentence fragments!

Would probably be some awesome bacon though.

Artifact.
Bacon.

In fact, why not - bacon warstriders.

It's a well-kept secret that bacon is not only the most powerful magical material, but anybody can attune to it. The only reason you don't see more bacon daiklaves and bacon armor is that not even the UCS has the willpower to not eat the bacon before using it for anything.

[Xefas]

Yellow Jade resonates with the element of bacon. Distilling enough to create an artifact from it involves the congealed grease of several tons of bacon, melted with heat reflected from occult mirrors.

The few times in the past when an Exalted craftsman has accidentally made a few scraps of Yellow Jade, its been because of the bacon grease on their hands distorting the Jade-forging process.

The element of bacon obviously comes from Gaia's aspect of longing for her lost love (you know the one I mean).

[SurlySeraph]

ROYAL SOULSTEEL BACONSTRIDER.

[Kris Strife]

Vicoden + Lack of sleep induced thought: Does Creation have toilet paper?

[Xefas]

Vicoden + Lack of sleep induced thought: Does Creation have toilet paper?

//The Dear Cearr section of the Malfeas Gazette

Dear puny filth-concerned mortal,
....Cearr often feels similar vexation during his prolonged stints in Creation. Whereas the Demon City benefits from a ubiquitous waste disposal and general plumbing system constructed in the hallowed forges of the Green Sun, fueled by the disgust of cleanliness spirits bound into its design, Creation is comparatively savage. However, while drawn into your wretched, traitorous world, Cearr has found a nearly as satisfactory solution in using any nearby Dragonblooded for sanitation purposes.

Hope this has improved your petty, insignificant day.
Sincerely yours, Cearr

[DragonSinged]

//The Dear Cearr section of the Malfeas Gazette

Dear puny filth-concerned mortal,
....Cearr often feels similar vexation during his prolonged stints in Creation. Whereas the Demon City benefits from a ubiquitous waste disposal and general plumbing system constructed in the hallowed forges of the Green Sun, fueled by the disgust of cleanliness spirits bound into its design, Creation is comparatively savage. However, while drawn into your wretched, traitorous world, Cearr has found a nearly as satisfactory solution in using any nearby Dragonblooded for sanitation purposes.

Hope this has improved your petty, insignificant day.
Sincerely yours, Cearr

Waste disposal? General plumbing? I think what you actually mean is Sesseljae.

...spend most of their lives scouring the bodies of the Yozies of those things that might eventually build up enough to cause harm to their masters.

[TheCountAlucard]

Waste disposal? General plumbing? I think what you actually mean is Sesseljae.

That, and Gnimersalt.

[Xefas]

Has anyone here played Weapons of the Gods? My favorite gaming podcast mentioned it as having a similar feel to Exalted with some very nice-sounding mechanics to back it up. I typically trust them, but was looking for a little more input before I commit to purchasing/reading/playing it. As I understand it, it is quite the dense book.