Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

[byaku rai]

595: The Book of Erotic Fantasy should not be the go-to guide when confronted with undead.

595a: When dealing with Liches, use of the word "boning" is absolutely never appropriate.

595b: If you try to apply the book to oozes, you have been watching far too much hentai than can possibly be healthy and need to go outside into the sun to take a few deep breaths of normality.

595c: ... You know what, just delete the pdf. Now. And burn the flash drive.

[Ksheep]

Another one to go with the WWII-style ones I posted earlier:
597. Not allowed to show how accurate a shot I am by sniping the pilot of the plane that is strafing us.

[Axinian]

598. It doesn't matter how good my hide check is, I can't run up to the king, assassinate him in plain view of his subjects, then hide behind his throne and expect to get away with it.

[Arutema]

598. It doesn't matter how good my hide check is, I can't run up to the king, assassinate him in plain view of his subjects, then hide behind his throne and expect to get away with it.

599. A haystack is right out.

[Kris Strife]

598. It doesn't matter how good my hide check is, I can't run up to the king, assassinate him in plain view of his subjects, then hide behind his throne and expect to get away with it.

Just add some bluff, tell them you aren't there.

[Hiro Protagonest]

598. It doesn't matter how good my hide check is, I can't run up to the king, assassinate him in plain view of his subjects, then hide behind his throne and expect to get away with it.

599. A haystack is right out.

600. Hide In Plain Sight doesn't mean that after doing that, I can just stand there and watch everybody say "where'd he go?".

[ScionoftheVoid]

594: Perform (sex) cannot be used for bardic music in combat.

594b. No, not even if it's really loud.

601. The Pervertuoso is never to be mentioned at the table.
601b. Nor away from the table.
601c. Actually using the build is right out.

[Welknair]

602. It doesn't matter if I can find the seeds for it. I cannot create an epic level spell that "Summons the material plane five feet in front me, and explodes it".

Check your numbers guys.

[ideasmith]

603. May not make resublminated thiotilomine with the craft (alchemy) skill.

604. May not make resublimintated thiotilomine with Major Creation.

605. May not make resubliminated thiotilomine at all.

606. May not make uppdokk either.

[Bobby Archer]

607. I may not create either a flamethrower or napalm.
607a. Even in a modern game.
607b. Especially not if I intend to combine the two.

[Frozen_Feet]

595b: If you try to apply the book to oozes, you have been watching far too much hentai than can possibly be healthy and need to go outside into the sun to take a few deep breaths of normality.

Fortunately, the only thing the book says about sex and oozes is: Ooze. Idiot hits ooze. Two oozes.

The authors might have had low standards, but they had standards, dammit!

[Shadow Lord]

602. It doesn't matter if I can find the seeds for it. I cannot create an epic level spell that "Summons the material plane five feet in front me, and explodes it".

Check your numbers guys.

You can do that? HOW?!

[Dragonexx]

608. "Round 1: FIGHT!" Is not an appropriate battle cry.
609. Neither is "K.O.!" An appropriate victory shout.

[Ranger Mattos]

580. My elf warblade/eternal blade/factotum is not allowed to wear green clothes.

581. Especially if his spirit guide is named Navi or Ciela.

582. If he does get accepted, I am not allowed to have a legacy longsword that is effective against evil and has its basic stats be a +1 longsword of spell turning.

581a. Or Midna.



610. My LG paladin is not allowed to kick the opponent while he's down.

[Welknair]

You can do that? HOW?!

It's amazing what you can do with "Ad Hoc".

[Shadow Lord]

It's amazing what you can do with "Ad Hoc".

I dare you to write it up, Gareth!

[Axinian]

611. An orc missing his legs does not qualify for half-orc paragon
611a. Same with elf and dragon.
611b. I may not cut a creature in half and justify it as trying to qualify him for his half-racial paragon class.

[riccaru]

612. No, I cannot become immune to massive damage even though my HP is measured in AU.

612.a It doesn't matter what my fortitude save is, a natural one will still kill me from massive damage.

[Arutema]

608. "Round 1: FIGHT!" Is not an appropriate battle cry.
609. Neither is "K.O.!" An appropriate victory shout.

613: May not shout "Astral Finish!" when an enemy fails its massive damage save.

[Esprit15]

614: I may not break the fourth wall. Any and all breakings of said wall will result in a punishment related to the method in which it was broken.

615: No, bards are NOT exempt from rule 614.

[HalfDragonCube]

595: The Book of Erotic Fantasy should not be the go-to guide when confronted with undead.

595a: When dealing with Liches, use of the word "boning" is absolutely never appropriate.

595b: If you try to apply the book to oozes, you have been watching far too much hentai than can possibly be healthy and need to go outside into the sun to take a few deep breaths of normality.

595c: ... You know what, just delete the pdf. Now. And burn the flash drive.

595bi: Yo.

[Bobby Archer]

616. I am no longer allowed to name NPC organizations
617. Goldenface, Defender of All Things Shiny is not a thematically appropriate name for a Solar Exalt.

[Morithias]

618: Antromorphic rabbits are not playboy bunnies.

[Axinian]

619. Similarly, catfolk are not moe nekos.

...




(Ok, we all know that they are, but my group doesn't like that)

[Morithias]

619. Similarly, catfolk are not moe nekos.

...




(Ok, we all know that they are, but my group doesn't like that)

620. "I am not to nickname the catfolk "moe" or any bond girl style nickname."
621. "haruhi" is not the name of the overdeity.

[Acero]

622. I may not awake a falcon and train him to have Monk levels.

623. I may not set said falcon on fire, or any other birds smaller than a Halfing.

624. I may not launch the Halfling into the air as to compare its size to that of a bird fyling overhead.

625. I may not shrink the Halfling

[Welknair]

626. I may not have a means of creating fire. Ever.

[Hiro Protagonest]

627. Maneuvers do not have verbal components.

628. And Inferno Blade's is definitely not "faallcon PUUNCH!".

[Welknair]

629. That reminds me. No Unarmed Swordsages that specialize in Desert Wind.

[Bobby Archer]

630. Ninjas can catch me when I'm on fire.