Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

[Welknair]

631. I may not have a young boy that's a cowboy as a sidekick. Nor can he ride a velociraptor named "Yoshi".

[Hiro Protagonest]

631. I may not have a young boy that's a cowboy as a sidekick. Nor can he ride a velociraptor named "Yoshi".

632. If I do, the boy cannot be a gunslinger with two pistols.

633. Mustaches do not give a bonus on checks to influence others.

[Welknair]

634. I can not magically move my heart into my left butt cheek.

[Hiro Protagonest]

634. I can not magically move my heart into my left butt cheek.

Not heart, weak point!

635. A disease that gives you the effects of enlarge person and a barbarian's greater rage does not exist.

[Flame of Anor]

596. I will not skip rule 596 back on page 12.

[Bobby Archer]

636. Ninjas do not have the ability Racial Enemy: Pirate

[Welknair]

636. Ninjas do not have the ability Racial Enemy: Pirate

Right, because Ninja is a class, not a race.

[lerg2]

637: I am not allowed to roll blank d6's and claim I got 18 in in all my stats.
637a: If I use a marker to put numbers on the die, they must be checked by the DM.
637b: If the numbers on the die are 6 5 6 5 6 5 the DM can, in fact, force me to eat the dice in question.

I thought Ninja was a class and Pirate was a profession?

[Mixt]

638: I may no longer joke about seeing a Nimmy, it makes the other players panic.

[Roderick_BR]

608. "Round 1: FIGHT!" Is not an appropriate battle cry.
609. Neither is "K.O.!" An appropriate victory shout.

639. Singing the Final Fantasy victory fanfare is right out.

[Ksheep]

639. Singing the Final Fantasy victory fanfare is right out.

It is? Well then our entire group has been doing it wrong for YEARS.

[Morithias]

640: A flask of alchemist fire with "blessed weapon" on it. Is not a "holy hand grenade". Nor does it do extra damage against bunnies.

[Axinian]

641. A yo-yo is not a valid weapon

[Welknair]

641. A yo-yo is not a valid weapon

Yo-Yos were originally invented as weapons. They hurt quite a lot. And I think there's a "Razor Yo-Yo" or something in Exalted.

[Flame of Anor]

641. A yo-yo is not a valid weapon

642. Unless you call it a whip-dagger.

[The-Mage-King]

Something to add as a DM entry:

643: I may not run an episodic campaign.
643a: I may most certainly not make a simple Warforged Warrior as a mook and have them show up en masse with the "episode's" villian.
643b: Nor may I do the same with Raptorian Warriors after a sufficiently long time waiting.
643c: Especially if this is to see how long it will take the players to realize what's going on and what they're fighting.

644: No more watching Power Rangers while planning campaigns.

[Shadow Lord]

Something to add as a DM entry:

643: I may not run an episodic campaign.
643a: I may most certainly not make a simple Warforged Warrior as a mook and have them show up en masse with the "episode's" villian.
643b: Nor may I do the same with Raptorian Warriors after a sufficiently long time waiting.
643c: Especially if this is to see how long it will take the players to realize what's going on and what their fighting.

644: No more watching Power Rangers while planning campaigns.

What's it based off of?

[The-Mage-King]

What's it based off of?

Warforged warriors.

Raptorian warriors.

Morphinominal!

[Shadow Lord]

Warforged warriors.

Raptorian warriors.

Morphinominal!

Mighty Morphin Power Rangers! YEAH~!

[Morithias]

Mighty Morphin Power Rangers! YEAH~!

Wouldn't the warforged be the cogs? from power rangers zeo?

[Axinian]

645. My bard's bardic music can't be the Power Rangers theme
645a. Any of them.

646. "HESHIN A-GO-GO BABY!" is not a proper battle cry.

[The-Mage-King]

Wouldn't the warforged be the cogs? from power rangers zeo?

Them too. What? Putties are obviously a construct race that can take class levels, so... Warforged. No one said both had to be fluffed the same.



647: Nor is "Let's rocket".
647a: Hell, you aren't allowed to say anything used in Sentai or anything related to it. Including parodies of it.

[Xanmyral]

648: I cannot dedicate my life to trying to capture a wizard's familiar.
649: I cannot use my familiar to make illegal animal fighting rings.
649a: Nor animal companion.
650: Not matter how high my diplomacy is, I may not make animal fighting rings legal.
651: Nor can I trick kids into capturing animals to use in said ring.
652: I definitely cannot cast geas on said kids with the quest to, "Catch them all."

[Welknair]

653. No slaying entire cities "For the XP"

[Silverscale]

653. No slaying entire cities "For the XP"

What if you spare the women and children? And possibly the elderly too?

[riccaru]

653. No slaying entire cities "For the XP"

654. Poisoning entire cities just for giving you bad information is equally as bad. Doubly if you're a paladin.

655. Try to justify said paladin poisoning an entire city's water supply.

ON the DM side

656. Not allowed to just happen to not describe the door behind you when you're teleported into a dungeon.

657. Have the BBEG blow up after the PC's defeat him, just because he "wasn't supposed to die yet."

What if you spare the women and children? And possibly the elderly too?

What's the point of that?

[Ksheep]

658. Dr. Horrible is NOT an acceptable character concept.
658. Especially if he's a gnome.
659. Nor is Doc Ock.
659a. Especially if he's a gnome.
660. Dr. McNinja is right out.
660a. Especially if… wait, what?

[Welknair]

661. I may not play a Gnome.

[NikitaDarkstar]

661. I may not play a Gnome.

662. Actually I may, if my first idea was a kender.
663. However if it was a kender gunslinger I'll be forced to eat my books, all of them.

[Extra_Crispy]

663. Im not allowed to use another party members body parts as components for weapon makeing even if said person is a giant regenerating intelligent crystal.

664. Im not allowed to play a lay line walker in rifts.
665. Espically one that is friends with the son of a god. As he will use that connection us get to the world tree and proceed to impail himself on the world tree with story plot device and thus know ALL magic.
666. Not allowed to play a Blaze, they are way too broken.
667. Not allowed to use a specially made skateboard and a glitterboys boom gun to go skateing through town.
668. (gm one) Im not allowed to roll infront of the players as every time I do I roll a 20
669. Not allowed to kill on sight any PC female played by the GM (if the GM is Eric, as they are ALLWAYS bad for the party)
670. Not allowed to get access to nuclear material and create a bomb even if the good leader of the country insulted me.