Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

[Gadora]

I didn't take it insultingy just a bit more nackground. At the time (with the dragonborn) we were playing essentials only because we were all new to D&D and my player brought in like a bajillion homebrew rules, which leads me to:

1073: I will not complain about the DM deciding against unbalance homebrew rules.
1073a: even if it is a jetpack.

edited for numbers

Ah, it's 4E. I should really get around to taking a look at 4E at some point, but right now I've just bought several 2E books, so learning that system comes first.

[Bearpunch]

Ah, it's 4E. I should really get around to taking a look at 4E at some point, but right now I've just bought several 2E books, so learning that system comes first.

4e is fun, but the RP aspect seems downplayed, in fact I am looking for a fantasy system with high RP.

[Gadora]

4e is fun, but the RP aspect seems downplayed, in fact I am looking for a fantasy system with high RP.

Hm. Have you tried D6 Fantasy? It looks to be rather high RP and very friendly with regards to crafting what you need for a character.¹ As an added benefit, the whole system, with the exception of settings, was put into OGL, shortly before the company went under.

¹They've got a chapter on how to create spells, followed by a chapter of pre-calculated spells. They give a system for crafting races and creatures, and then they use that system to give you dwarves, elves, gnomes, and reptile folk.

[hewhosaysfish]

By RAW, activating them by Arcane Eye would still hurt the reader, no matter how far away they are. This means that if you wrote the runes on the Moon, and used magic or something so you could see them, the explosion would reach across the void and hit you for 6d6 force damage. It would not go abnormally far in any other direction, or hurt anyone in that long path.

Also, anyone else with extreme Spot who did not, in fact, read them, but could if they looked the right way, would also be hurt, as anyone close enough to read gets the same damage, no save.

You could make the argument that, if you can use magical sensors to read the Runes, anyone who can cast Scrying is technically close enough to read the Runes. Regardless of where they are on any plane of existence.

And technically anyone could potentially cast Scrying. They'd just have to take a few levels in Wizard first, and put a few stat-bumps into INT. (And maybe get Awakened first if they're an animal/an undead/a construct. After getting animated first, if they're already dead and/or an object. But the point is that they could cast the spell.)

To technically speaking, Explosive Rune should hit everything, everywhere.

Or, you know, have all the squirrels read the runes off each other at the same time. You are more or less controlling them. Just have them ring the town and watch the fireworks.

You'd have to teach the squirrels to read first...

[Lady Serpentine]

*snip*
You'd have to teach the squirrels to read first...

But that is possible with if you Awaken them, I believe. So, in theory, that could be could be done.

[Bobby Archer]

But that is possible with if you Awaken them, I believe. So, in theory, that could be could be done.

Awakening squirrels just to use them as suicide bombers seems so very, very mean.

[Lady Serpentine]

No one said he was a nice druid.

[Antonok]

Awakening squirrels just to use them as suicide bombers seems so very, very mean.

No one said he was a nice druid.

Well druids don't have to be good aligned. There can be evil druids, and then theres always Blighters who'd actually delight in doing something like that.

[Phosphate]

1074. Clerics of Atheism do not get Antimagic Field as a 1st level spell.
1075. Nor are their attacks treated as Vorpal against deities.
1076. Especially Tiamat.

[Lamech]

1077: Not allowed to play a kobold.
1078: If the GM says he wants the most optimized character possible, I am to under no circumstances play the most optimized character possible.
1079: If the GM says I can use any book to make the most optimized character possible, I should under no circumstance pull out unearthed arcana.
1079a: I should under no circumstances use the gestalt rules from unearthed arcana to make a character.
1080: Killing bosses before anyone else acts is in bad taste.
1080a: Especially if I broke 1077-1079.

[MunsterJujus]

1081: I am not allow to "Show my dominance" to a wounded/dying henchman.

Story kinda graphic-

Spoiler

Show

Guy I played with at Dragon*con decided that the henchman we had just beat up, healed of his psychosis, and questioned for information needed to be taught more of a lesson. So he undid his pants and "Showed him who's the bigger man is."

Not the best memory for my second game. Much less the fact I was recording the game for a radio segment.

[byaku rai]

1082: A single cleric should not out-perform the party fighter, barbarian, and rogue in melee combat. It makes the mundies sad.

[Hiro Protagonest]

1082: A single cleric should not out-perform the party fighter, barbarian, and rogue in melee combat. It makes the mundies sad.

1082a. Doing it with a druid wildshaped into a housecat is just adding insult to injury.

[Drazik]

1083a i may not make a character with no prefered sexual orientation and who will do anything to get ahead in life
1083b i may not have said character have sex with everyone to get onto their good side, then kill them all because he is evil chaotic

1084 no matter how planned or strategic we get, my group of PC's aren't aloud to take over the religious capital of the camppaign at level one.
1084b especialy not so if some of them are clerics

[Esprit15]

1083a i may not make a character with no prefered sexual orientation and who will do anything to get ahead in life
1083b i may not have said character have sex with everyone to get onto their good side, then kill them all because he is evil chaotic

1083 c:Succubi are exempt from this rule.

1085: I may not play a succubus.

[kaomera]

1086: "Unfunfunf" is not a reasonable name for my character.

1086a: Especially if the character is a Kobold.

1086b: Not allowed anything on the character sheet that would be considered NSFW, especially if gaming in public.

1086b.1: Especially especially not if listed under "Alignment".

[byaku rai]

1087: "Suddenly fire" is not a strategy which we should expect to work more than once.

1087b: Even if it is the fallback position for the majority of PCs.

[hewhosaysfish]

1075. Nor are their attacks treated as Vorpal against deities.
1076. Especially Tiamat.

But she's got heads to spare!

[Mono Vertigo]

1088: If my character gets time-stopping powers, she may not use such a power during a fight with the BBEG for the sole purpose of writing "[name] was here" or such on his butt.
1088b: I may not argue it is essential to raising the rest of the party's morale.
1088c: No, really.

[NNescio]

1088: If my character gets time-stopping powers, she may not use such a power during a fight with the BBEG for the sole purpose of writing "[name] was here" or such on his butt.
1088b: I may not argue it is essential to raising the rest of the party's morale.
1088c: No, really.

1088d. I may not shout "The World" when using my time-stopping powers.
1088d(ii). Don't even think about saying "Za Warudo" either.
1089d(iii). Variations like "Il Mondo" and "Die Welt" are also similarly prohibited.
1088e. I am to be reminded that throwing Knives, the use of the Cloud of Knives spell, and other similar effects are also illegal under RAW.
1088f. While arranging for a steamroller heavy object to fall on my target is technically legal, I am not allowed to do so.
1088g. Any use of Animate Siege Weapon is also prohibited.
1088h. The use of Delayed Blast Fireballs is permissible, but I am barred from calling them 'pipebombs'.
1088i. Cries of "WRYYYYY" or "HomuHomu" will result in my character's immediate death and my subsequent expulsion from the game.

[Kris Strife]

1088i. Cries of "WRYYYYY" or "HomuHomu" will result in my character's immediate death and my subsequent expulsion from the game.

But what if someone just asked you what your favorite type of bread is?

[Ilorin Lorati]

1089. I may not use compulsion effects to force the Werewolf pack to dance to Thriller.

[Arbane]

1089. I may not use compulsion effects to force the Werewolf pack to dance to Thriller.

1089a: That goes double for zombies or other undead..

[byaku rai]

1090: Create Broadway Musical is not an Epic Bardic music use. Even if it totally should be.

[Traab]

1090: Create Broadway Musical is not an Epic Bardic music use. Even if it totally should be.

1091: Create High School Musical however, is an epic bardic music use. Causes a higher level of insanity in all who hear it than a call of cthulu game.

[byaku rai]

1091: Create High School Musical however, is an epic bardic music use. Causes a higher level of insanity in all who hear it than a call of cthulu game.

Oh god. don't even joke about that. Some things were not meant for humanity to know...

[UrsielHauke]

1092: I may not play a 5th level kobold commoner with straight 8 ability scores and no special features named nuP-nuP.
1092a: Even if someone already tried Pun-Pun so it's really ironic.
1093: My character is not allowed to use Time Duplicate because he/she doesn't care enough about what's going on to take part in it. If it's the theme of the campaign, it might just be important.
1094: Making terrible puns does not increase my combat prowess.
1094a: Unless I am playing a dashing swordsman.
1095: I am not allowed to play a dashing swordsman.
1096: If I play an epic bard that uses ritual casting to cast epic level spells (by taking improved spell capacity 3 times) I am not allowed to have the casting of the spell be a symphony of lower-level bards (See: Leadership) playing Beethoven's 5th symphony with me as conductor.
1096a: Unless it is in a situation that makes it really, really cool.
1096b: The same rule applies to John Stump's Death Waltz.
1096c: However, If I can make the perform check, I am allowed to solo 1096b.

[byaku rai]

1097: If i create a character which benefits from taking fire damage, I am not allowed to set everything on fire.

1097b: Even if, with the right spells, I can make anything burn...

[ShippoWildheart]

This actually happened just a few hours ago in a d20 Modern/Apocalypse campaign that I'm in. My friend actually did this to ME. Also note we were the only two people in the campaign.

1098. Even if I don't care about what's on there, I will not take out my cleaver and chop up the only working computer in an obviously spooky building laden with Slenderman-esque symbols and horror while the other team member is sitting down in front of it trying to figure out what's going on, for spare parts.

[Eldan]

1074. Clerics of Atheism do not get Antimagic Field as a 1st level spell.
1075. Nor are their attacks treated as Vorpal against deities.
1076. Especially Tiamat.

That reminds me of that one atheist character... he was a gnome and used a Quickrazor. His name was Occam.