Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

[Ksheep]

1544: I'm not aloud to say c-c-c-combo breaker when helping make a thread change topic.

1545: I'm not allowed to say "C-c-c-combo breaker!" after the fighter cuts off his own arm with a critical fumble while in the middle of a string of great cleaves.

[Vknight]

1542c: Except when it doesn't

1545b: You however can say 'counter attack'

1546: When the fighter leaves a guy almost dead the wizard cannot preform a fatality if it involves the following. "Color Spray', 'Grease', 'Magic Missile', or 'Inflict Light Wounds'

[Cheesegear]

1547a; I may not begin every conversation with "I Detect Evil."
1547b; I may not end every conversation with "I roll Sense Motive."

[Winds]

1548: If the likely BBEG doesn't seem to be inclined to fight directly, you should not attack him.
1549: If the first coup de grace doesn't work, more will only annoy him.

[Siosilvar]

1550. I may not suggest using critical fumbles to make the situation in rule 1545 more likely.
1550b. I may not suggest using critical fumbles at all.

1551. I may not suggest NOT using critical fumbles because they're no fun.
1551b. I may also not suggest NOT using critical fumbles because they're not realistic and destroy verisimilitude.
1551c. I may not mention critical fumbles. Ever.

1552. I may not nitpick the difference between realism and verisimilitude. Even if I can spell the second without looking it up.

[Lady Serpentine]

1552a: Pointing out that I can also spell versimilitude without looking it up, as you never said anything spelling it correctly, is not considered acceptable behavior.

[Hiro Protagonest]

1552. I may not nitpick the difference between realism and verisimilitude. Even if I can spell the second without looking it up.

Actually, you put in an extra i.

[Traab]

1552a: Pointing out that I can also spell versimilitude without looking it up, as you never said anything spelling it correctly, is not considered acceptable behavior.

Honestly, thats one of my favorite words. Mainly because it was the first word I read in a book in the last decade that actually stumped me and I had to look it up to learn what it meant. Normally you can guess by the context but in that case I couldnt. The last time that happened, it was some old woman calling a young man a disreputable tatterdemalion.

[Siosilvar]

1552a: Pointing out that I can also spell versimilitude without looking it up, as you never said anything spelling it correctly, is not considered acceptable behavior.

Actually, you put in an extra i.

Incorrect. Verisimilitude is the correct spelling. Sources: Wiktionary, dictionary.com, merriam-webster.com, the copy of the American Heritage Dictionary I have laying around, Firefox's spellcheck, and my twelfth-grade English teacher.

[Lady Serpentine]

(Small point: I wasn't saying you spelled it wrong, merely pointing out that, if interpreted literally, anyone could spell versimilitude without looking it up.)

[Siosilvar]

(Small point: I wasn't saying you spelled it wrong, merely pointing out that, if interpreted literally, anyone could spell versimilitude without looking it up.)

1553. Literalism is exactly why you can't use Iron Heart Surge any more. Stop it, already!



(If you want to be literal, BTW, you did tell me I spelled it wrong. You should've thrown the word "about" between "anything" and "spelling".)

[Lady Serpentine]

*Kicks self repeatedly*

I had thought that I did... Apparently I mistyped.

[Siosilvar]

*Kicks self repeatedly*

I had thought that I did... Apparently I mistyped.

It's all good, doesn't really matter. And we got a new Thing I May No Longer Do While Playing out of it!

[Ksheep]

Changing topics…

1554: If I convince the DM to let me be a pyromancer, I shouldn't be surprised when he insists that my character tries to seduce any and all pastries he sees.

[Siosilvar]

Changing topics…

1554: If I convince the DM to let me be a pyromancer, I shouldn't be surprised when he insists that my character tries to seduce any and all pastries he sees.

I am speechless.

Good show. You are now the owner of 2 wins.

1554b. No, the pyromancer is not "hot". I don't care what his Charisma score is.

[Qwertystop]

Changing topics…

1554: If I convince the DM to let me be a pyromancer, I shouldn't be surprised when he insists that my character tries to seduce any and all pastries he sees.

Pastries? I don't get it.

Is it a bad pun, or do I not want to know?

[Randomguy]

1554c: It's Necromancer, not Neckromancer.

[Siosilvar]

Pastries? I don't get it.

Is it a bad pun, or do I not want to know?

Pie-romancer.

[Rockphed]

Changing topics…

1554: If I convince the DM to let me be a pyromancer, I shouldn't be surprised when he insists that my character tries to seduce any and all pastries he sees.

1554d: Nor may I attempt to seduce basic universal constants.
1554e: Even if they are smoking hot and I want stuff out of them.

[Vknight]

1554f: Or I want the stuffing out of them
1554g: That's the bards/rogue/wilder/sorcerers job
1554h: Or the bakers

1555: Apocalypse From the Sky, may be cool but no
1555b: You cannot remove the costs to using Apocalypse From the Sky
1555c: Unless your the campaign villain or an Artificer
1555d: Sometimes not even then
1555e: Yes the text is right about metamagic effects
1555f: No you cannot

1556: Blood sacrifices are not that useful they can only give a level or +1 to a stat once

1557: Pathfinder Paladins can worship Asmodeus...
1557b: Yup your Lawful Good and you worship Asmodeus
1557c: Yes this is legal in the rules why are you checking?
1557d: The DM is busy crying come back later

1558: Changelings do work that way
1558b: Even when they don't

[NNescio]

1554c: It's Necromancer, not Neckromancer.

1554i. I may not play a Tibbit Neko-romancer.

[Doorhandle]

1554J) or a Neck-Romacer

"Wait, we raise zombies? I though we just went around, molesting people's necks."

"Okay, you're the One."

[The Reverend]

1559. I may not have a clown bard who lives K-K-K-K-K-K-kokaine!!!!!

[BlackestOfMages]

1560) no matter what's going through my head, an encounter consisting of lots of zombiefied housecats is not fair
1560a) nor is doing so with wight-kitties
1561) My BBEG is not allowed to use a locate-city bomb against the PC's
1561a) especially not if he add's fell drain to the mix for some good old fashioned undead fun
1561b) even if it is a far better start to the 'zombie-apocalypse' campaing than most
1561c) especially not if it then starts the scenario proposed in 1560
1562) If my pre-epic BBEG can consider apocalypse from the sky to be to tame, I'm doing something wrong
1562a) or right, if the PC's are masochists
1563) my BBEG cannot be the completed product of the group-optimizer's world breaking concept
1563a) well, shouldn't. it's pretty funny when it does happen

[Andreaz]

1564) My 4e paladin that glows in the dark may not pretend he's a solar exalted, even if his purely defensive build killed 8 enemies in one round.

[boomwolf]

1565: NO Ghoulified Drow Paladin of Pelor, EVER!

1565b: Not even when Iron Heart Surge DOES do that.

[Vknight]

1565: NO Ghoulified Drow Paladin of Pelor, EVER!

1565b: Not even when Iron Heart Surge DOES do that.

1565c: Except when it does every other thursday

[kaomera]

1566: An NPC with Mind Rape does not in any way count as "a great plot hook".

[Marillion]

1559. I may not have a clown bard who lives K-K-K-K-K-K-kokaine!!!!!

1559b: K-K-K-K-K-K-YEAAAYAH
1559c: Seriously, even if he does...a lot of cocaine.

[big teej]

N+1 - I am not to trick the merfolk into killing each other and massacring their unborn children.

N+2 - I am NOT to go into the water

N+3 - I am NOT to awaken the eldritch, god-killing abomination

N+4 - I may not cast shocking grasp after I've been injured

N+4a - no, not even with a wounding weapon.

N+5 - my mount is not a solidified sonic construct.

N+6 - treasure chests full of entrails make inappropriate birthday presents

N+7 - as does "nothing"

N+8 - I am not to create the HatredCopter

N+9 - I may not call shot the groin area with my vorpal weapon

N+10 - no, my bloodline levels DO NOT make me a mass murderer

N+11 - the citizens of the Mechanicum plane are not known as "gears"

N+12 - Apocolypse from the sky is a no-no

N+13 - the wand of lightning bolt is not a laser cannon
N+13a - nor is the wand of scorching ray
N+13b - I may not sentence people to death with them

N+14 - I will not tamper with the Evidence