Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

[Sith_Happens]

1581. I may not make a Dread Necromancer named Chuck Testa.

[Hiro Protagonest]

1582. My artificer is not Nikola Tesla.

1583. My elf warblade/eternal blade/factotum/spell reflection feat rogue is not Link.
1583a. Nor is my warblade/wizard/factotum/spell reflection feat rogue.
1583b. Nor is my elf warblade/eternal blade//factotum/spell reflection feat rogue.
1583c. Nor is my warblade//factotum/spell reflection feat rogue/wizard.
1583d. None of my character builds are Link!

[Arutema]

1557: Pathfinder Paladins can worship Asmodeus...
1557b: Yup your Lawful Good and you worship Asmodeus
1557c: Yes this is legal in the rules why are you checking?
1557d: The DM is busy crying come back later

1557e: Per word of James Jacobs, my Pathfinder Paladin may not worship Asmodeus after all.

[BlackestOfMages]

1557e: Per word of James Jacobs, my Pathfinder Paladin may not worship Asmodeus after all.

1577f: which is unjust, and so he must be smoten! in the name of asmodeous

1584: not allowed to start an overly-convuluted religeon where the god is actually a different god looped to the nth degree which ends in raising a housecat to the rank of greater deity

[Volthawk]

N+11 - the citizens of the Mechanicum plane are not known as "gears"

1577b: Except if you are in Sigil, where the terms are 'box', 'can' and 'gearhead'

[Qwertystop]

N+9 - I may not call shot the groin area with my vorpal weapon

By RAW, that would still cut off their head on a 20.

[AtwasAwamps]

I don't know what number we're on, so I'm using letters.

A) Not allowed to use a combination of chemistry, physics, and "good ol' Dwarven know-how" to kill an adult black dragon at level one, even if I am a factotum.

A-2) Must stop using "good ol' Dwarven know-how" on non-dwarven characters.

A-2b) Even if they're hairy.

B) I cannot, under any circumstances, offer to get other party members laid using my high charisma combined with benign transposition. Especially in predominantly half-orc towns.

C) No I cannot wrestle a bear, and I should stop attempting to drump up interest in a town-wide wrestlebear extravaganza that cannot happen.

C2) Even if I crit my crafting check to craft a Luchador mask.

[big teej]

1577b: Except if you are in Sigil, where the terms are 'box', 'can' and 'gearhead'

By RAW, that would still cut off their head on a 20.

N+1 - I will not make jokes based off of Dethklok's songs on the playground...

[jindra34]

1589. May not use anything that does enough damage to alter the landscape in one hit.

[Volthawk]

1589a: Unless I'm playing Exalted.

[Rockphed]

1590: Even if I do capture a weapon powerful enough to do so, I may not blow up worlds.
1591: Building worlds with rude symbols hidden in the geography is also forbidden.
1592: Attempts at orbital bombardment of civilian targets earn me an automatic shift to "evil".
1593: If my goal is to become the most evil creature ever, I will be subsumed into the original evil by the end of the third session and told to roll up a "reasonably good" character.
1593b: The original evil has existed for nearly as long as the universe. I cannot attempt to corrupt it and take control after aforementioned subsumption.

[Omeganaut]

1590: Not allowed to lose track of important information
1590a: Especially if I intentionally forgot where the Macguffin went, causing the DM to have to rewrite large parts of his plot.
1591: My god of choice does not have a personal interest in keeping me alive.
1591a: Even if I'm one of the highest level characters in the world
1591b: Even if the Dm throws an overpowered enemy against us.
1591c. Even if he sent us on the quest in the first place.
1591d: And yes, even if that too.

[TechnoScrabble]

1591. My cleric/wizard cannot use alchemy and permanancy spells to turn the fighter into a supersoldier.

1592. I am never again to play any class with pets, or to tame any animal.

1593. My cleric/ wizard who is obsessed with knowledge and magiscience may not interview the corrupted gold dragon, swduce it, and experiment on the resultong offspring.

[Siosilvar]

1594. I need to come up with a better name for my ship than "Jen Eric".
1594b. Especially if I have two ships.

[BlackestOfMages]

1591. My cleric/wizard cannot use alchemy and permanancy spells to turn the fighter into a supersoldier.

1591a: acually, that's all your allowed to do

[Kazyan]

1595: If can't say the character's race in one breath, I used too many templates.

[Qwertystop]

1595: If can't say the character's race in one breath, I used too many templates.

1595b: Usage of acronyms and/or abbreviations does not count.

[Metahuman1]

1596: Unless I am playing Melee, in which case it's entirely possible to not have enough templates.

[NeoSeraphi]

1597: The verbal components for my swiftblade casting haste are not "Mach Speed!"

1598: The verbal components for my swiftblade casting transformation are not "Henshin A-Go-Go, Baby!"

[Sith_Happens]

1597: The verbal components for my swiftblade casting haste are not "Mach Speed!"

1597a. They're quite obviously "Accelerate to Ludicrous Speed!"

[Hiro Protagonest]

1595: If can't say the character's race in one breath, I used too many templates.

*deep breath*

Draconic Lesser Aasimar Unseelie Fey Sparked.

In one of my PbP games where I'm playing a human warblade//factotum/spell reflection feat rogue, that's the race of a girl named Clare, who looks mostly human, and was the result of generations of breeding. She has 28 charisma at level 4, although since one side is entirely taken up by the LA, she's technically an under-WBLed level 8. But still, 28 charisma without magic item bonuses at level 8.

[Metahuman1]

*deep breath*

Draconic Lesser Aasimar Unseelie Fey Sparked.

In one of my PbP games where I'm playing a human warblade//factotum/spell reflection feat rogue, that's the race of a girl named Clare, who looks mostly human, and was the result of generations of breeding. She has 28 charisma at level 4, although since one side is entirely taken up by the LA, she's technically an under-WBLed level 8. But still, 28 charisma without magic item bonuses at level 8.

1: The Dm approved it, and I offered to drop a significant number of ability's off those templates to get them, which he felt at the end was unnecessary for the most part.

2: In spite of my massive Cha, I did dump most of my other ability's scores. The character you mentioned has effectively NO melee ability what so ever, and was deliberately built that way. She also doesn't have much ranged attack ability, and is gonna be so very screwed if we go into an anti magic field. Deliberate weaknesses.

3: Only one of those templates has an LA. And it's LA +1.

4: Major things the character does are make spiffy magic items to help her party members (Like magic swords for the Warblade//Factotum/Spell Reflection feat rouge, or custom magic items to help unarmed combat.), casting a LIMITED number of helpful debuffs like Grease to make the warriors life easier, buffing her party members with spells, magic items, and bardic music, and healing them.



So it's not like the rest of the party is being blatantly out-shined.

[Hiro Protagonest]

1: The Dm approved it, and I offered to drop a significant number of ability's off those templates to get them, which he felt at the end was unnecessary for the most part.

2: In spite of my massive Cha, I did dump most of my other ability's scores. The character you mentioned has effectively NO melee ability what so ever, and was deliberately built that way. She also doesn't have much ranged attack ability, and is gonna be so very screwed if we go into an anti magic field. Deliberate weaknesses.

3: Only one of those templates has an LA. And it's LA +1.

4: Major things the character does are make spiffy magic items to help her party members (Like magic swords for the Warblade//Factotum/Spell Reflection feat rouge, or custom magic items to help unarmed combat.), casting a LIMITED number of helpful debuffs like Grease to make the warriors life easier, buffing her party members with spells, magic items, and bardic music, and healing them.



So it's not like the rest of the party is being blatantly out-shined.

I know that. Did I say otherwise in my post?

Except for the LA part.

[Metahuman1]

I felt the need to put it out there for general reference. Otherwise I might have gotten a bad rep.

[Morithias]

*deep breath*

Draconic Lesser Aasimar Unseelie Fey Sparked.

What book is sparked in? Doing a campaign based on girl genius, might be useful with some refluff.

Also

1596: No longer allowed to put the lolth touched template on non-drow.

[Metahuman1]

It's in an Issue of Dragon Mag.

...

Again, the Dm did approve it ahead of game start.

[Morithias]

It's in an Issue of Dragon Mag.

...

Again, the Dm did approve it ahead of game start.

...Uh...mind telling me which one thank you?

1597: Not allowed to develop a mass gender change spell that only affects one gender.

[Metahuman1]

I think 306. I'm not sure off the top of my head. Recently lost the computer my PDF's where on so I sadly can't go back and look.

[BlackestOfMages]

Again, the Dm did approve it ahead of game start.

the constant need to reassert this fact makes it seem more likely the DM didn't aprove it and somehow missed the cha 28

1598: when the DM has aproved something I will not constantly reiterate that they have aproved it in case they become suspicious of me

1599: I may not use the ranger variant that can use wild empathy against magical beasts against the Terrasque
1599a: I may not befreind the Terrasque and use it as the party transport
1599b: After doing so, I may not be offended when the BBEG's extort the world plan switches to a flying island castle
1599c: I may not befriend the terrasue, build a heroic fortress on the things back, and use it to challange the BBEG
1599d: I'm not allowed near wild empathy or diplomacy anymore

[Morithias]

the constant need to reassert this fact makes it seem more likely the DM didn't aprove it and somehow missed the cha 28

1598: when the DM has aproved something I will not constantly reiterate that they have aproved it in case they become suspicious of me

1599: I may not use the ranger variant that can use wild empathy against magical beasts against the Terrasque
1599a: I may not befreind the Terrasque and use it as the party transport
1599b: After doing so, I may not be offended when the BBEG's extort the world plan switches to a flying island castle
1599c: I may not befriend the terrasue, build a heroic fortress on the things back, and use it to challange the BBEG
1599d: I'm not allowed near wild empathy or diplomacy anymore

1600: I am retroactively not allowed to wild empathy the tarrasque due to the fact that wild empathy does not work on intelligent creatures.

Edit: thanks for the 306 i found it