Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

[TechnoScrabble]

1970. When my bard ruins the DMs railroad plot and kills the big bad's pet wizard assassin with his own delayed blast fireball (meant to kill a princess and the bard's love interest) five minutes into the third session, he may not play "THis is what is sounds like when doves cry"

[Freelancer Jack]

1971: It is considered unwise to put down "Illiterate (common)" on your sheet, Then suddenly be able to read as soon as you see something written in Draconic.

[Sgt. Cookie]

Why? It's perfectly possible to speak a language, but be illiterate at it, even though you are perfectly literate in a different one.

[Pokonic]

Why? It's perfectly possible to speak a language, but be illiterate at it, even though you are perfectly literate in a different one.

He is basicly saying that its wrong to learn a bunch of arcane languages and not even learn how to write in the most basic of them.

[boomwolf]

Actually draconic SHOULD be easier then common to learn, as "common" represent the speech of humans-that would be most "normal" for PCs and the civilized (human) world to know, meaning it like real human languages, while draconic on the other hand is a simplistic speech, with little to no grammer, or reference to time and such (so "past form" of words, no active/passive...) and only capeable of giving rough descriptions. heck draconic does not even recognize first person/third person or such, and to clerfy "you" or "me" you have to use names...

If you are familiar with draconic, it should be easier to become litrate in it then in common...

Just saying...


BACK TO TOPIC:
1971b: Nor can I be literate in "Drow hand-gestures", it does NOT have a written form...

[Ksheep]

BACK TO TOPIC:
1971b: Nor can I be literate in "Drow hand-gestures", it does NOT have a written form...

Not so:

The drow have a written version of Drow Sign Language that consists of simple dot-and-line arrangements that vaguely imitate the positions of the hands and fingers. This pictographic script is less detailed and comprehensive than the sign language on which it is based, but it is more than sufficient to convey essential information, such as a warning about a hazard or directions for a following column of soldiers.

However…
1971c: Cannot claim to be literate in Druidic unless I'm actually a druid (yes, druidic has a written form).

[Toliudar]

1972. My bard cannot use glibness to convince the BBEG's guards that he is their union foreman and that they are now on strike.

1973. My bard cannot use glibness to convince the dragon that its kobold minions got together and bought it a total lair makeover.

1974. My bard cannot use glibness.

1975. I am not allowed to play a bard.

1976. I am not allowed to use this thread as a checklist of things to try out in our next game.

[boomwolf]

So...I got the DM to rage me when I was accidentally right? badass!

1977: I may not do something completely right, but we all believe to be wrong and I argue the DM to allow it because "he failed to mentioned otherwise" even tough I belived to be wrong...

[Freelancer Jack]

1978: You are not aloud to open a hole in the forth wall of realty, posses your own physical body, and punch the DM in the face.
(I did not do this, our Mage Murry did. no one was amused.)

[kaiguy]

1979: I am no longer to have my animal companion be a sheep.
1979a: You know what? I am no longer allowed to have an animal companion.

[Socratov]

1980: I am not allowed to convince the DM that skeletons are chrystalline ceartures because biologically bones are calcium molecules set in a crystalline pattern, when I play a character with access to any form of 'Shatter'.
1980a: even when i succeed I may not use it to oneshot said skeleton with baleful utterance...
1980b: especially not when the rogue and barbarian have tried 3 rounds to hit the creature unsuccessfully and you have done nothing for 3 rounds...

[The Boz]

1981. My character is not a retired adventurer.
1982. And he did not take an arrow to the knee.

[Freelancer Jack]

1983: Combining 2 pieces of bread with meat 1000 times to Gain a rank in my alchemy skill is considered Cheating.

1984: "PUNCH IT IN THE FACE!" should not be the first thing you do for every sneak attack that is made against you. the person attacking may actually be one of your friends throwing you a surprise party.

[Vespe Ratavo]

1985: Unicorns do not exist in the Warhammer 40,000 universe, and if they did, they could not be acolytes.
1986: Or Rogue Traders.
1987: Or Space Marines.

[jaybird]

Am I the only one who finds it amusing that post 1985 was about 40k? At any rate:

1988: Not allowed to walk into a camp of 30-odd orcs as a level 4 Wizard and proceed to curbstomp them all with a single spell.

If you must know, it was Pyrotechnics.

[Kazyan]

1989: Rod of Metamagic, Fell Drain + Magic Missle spam = stop doing that.
1990: The researched spell Macross Magic Missle Massacre is now retroactively epic-level.

[Rockphed]

1990: The researched spell Macross Magic Missle Massacre is now retroactively epic-level.

But that sounds like a perfect thing to do with a 9th level spell.

Wait, just how many missiles does it fire?

[Freelancer Jack]

1991:When trying to find out how deep the the dark pit is, do not throw team mates into it.

[Ksheep]

1992: When trying to figure out how to get down to the bottom of the deep pit, don't suggest throwing the Gnome in.
1992b: When the party is thinking of throwing you into the deep pit, don't voluntarily jump, just to cast Feather Fall on yourself.
1992c: Don't be surprised when the rest of the part just jumps in after you… only to take a fair bit of damage.

[Lamech]

1922a:Killing him in one round despite being surprised and rolling a bunch of 1s it even worse form.

1922b: Killing the boss when surprised without rolling is right out.

[Gravitron5000]

But that sounds like a perfect thing to do with a 9th level spell.

Wait, just how many missiles does it fire?

I have to assume ... ALL OF THEM!

[Rorrik]

1993: Possession of a bag of holding solely for my rogues "art collection" is a waste of resources.
1994: Extremely good taste is not a justification of said waste.

[BlackestOfMages]

a few from dark heresy

1995: Rogue Trader and/or Deathwatch are not merley sligly more fleshed out editions of paranoia, and I am not to DM them as such...
1995a: Even if the background is perfect for it
1995b: May not require PCs to fill out a survey to prove they are not heratics, then execute them for traitors due to knowledge of the survey.

1996: The way for an inquisitor to test wether the marines have turned to Slaneesh is not to let the highly questionable smuggler in the party spike your sister of batttle escort's rations and then lock the two groups in a room.
1996b: Nor to set up a video feed of that event for study
1996c: Especially not if said smuggeler suggested it, and also suggested showing it to the local guardsmen to keep up morale

1997: Just because I can mentally take control of any technology - and power it with my body - does not mean I should...
1997a: Nor may I may jokes as to how my perfect body is powering the space-ship etc...

1998: When using the heavy bolter, there comes a time when one has to simply stop rolling damage before the only thing left to break is the fabric of reality

[Mono Vertigo]

1999: my dwarf's equipment doesn't have hanging rings.
1999a: it doesn't menace with spikes of anything, either.
1999b: should any piece of equipment be an artifact, I can't use it as an excuse to give it a silly name like "LobsterYawning the Greenness of Blueness".
1999c: it can't have pictures of itself having pictures of itself having pictures of itself.
1999d: my dwarf can't snap and kill everybody because they somehow knew a couple friends died in another corner of the world.
1999e: my dwarf definitely can't come from BoatMurdered. Because there was no survivor at Boat-friggin'-Murdered.
1999f: I may not play another dwarf until I do a better job at hiding my references and stop considering the rest of the party as potential targets.

[Rockphed]

1999: my dwarf's equipment doesn't have hanging rings.
1999a: it doesn't menace with spikes of anything, either.
1999b: should any piece of equipment be an artifact, I can't use it as an excuse to give it a silly name like "LobsterYawning the Greenness of Blueness".
1999c: it can't have pictures of itself having pictures of itself having pictures of itself.
1999d: my dwarf can't snap and kill everybody because they somehow knew a couple friends died in another corner of the world.
1999e: my dwarf definitely can't come from BoatMurdered. Because there was no survivor at Boat-friggin'-Murdered.
1999f: I may not play another dwarf until I do a better job at hiding my references and stop considering the rest of the party as potential targets.

1999g: My party members are not "Ablative Armor."
1999h: Just because my dwarf is responsible for finding quests and getting payment, does not mean that he is the only one to get credit.
1999i: Leading the party on a weeks long search of the underdark will never result in finding magic swords.
1999j: Nor will attempts to raid recently abandoned dwarven outposts.

[Giarc]

2000: While yes, kill it with fire is an effective way of dealing with most enemies in WoD, it is not the only way.
2000a: Kill it and everything around it with fire will only be allowed under certain circumstances, not because "My character can do it!"
2000b: Unless if we are playing Scion and I have Earth 10 (Control Magma) or are near a volcano, I may not kill anything with magma.
2001: If my Virtual Adept ever says "Don't worry! I'm from the internet!", everything that has a computer or circuitry or can be otherwise considered technology or 'tech' that my character touches henceforth immediately explodes.
2001a: If my VA does make tech explode on contact, he is unable to use this offensively.
2002: My VA is allowed to troll people by hacking into their minds and making music they have recently heard repeat for an undetermined time.
2003: I my not force the Storyteller to abandon his or her plot just because I convinced the rest of the party to play as Adventurer Sons of Ether.
2003a: Even if we would have a blast playing as pulp fiction heroes.

(I had more in mind, but I forgot them)

[kaomera]

1993: Possession of a bag of holding solely for my rogues "art collection" is a waste of resources.
1994: Extremely good taste is not a justification of said waste.

1933a: Possession of a bag of holding solely for the purpose of containing the rogue's ''list of people I need to murder'' is not justifiable, especially since everyone in it has technically been crossed off the list (at least for the moment).
1933b: Multiclassing enough levels of cleric that I can now raise them myself would not invalidate 1933a, so don't bother.

[Kymme]

1934. I am never allowed to play a dragon in rifts.
1934b. Especially when said dragon is two days old and powerful enough to destroy the whole party, and all of the party's followers when he throws a temper tantrum.
1934c. I am never allowed to be a dragon, ever.

[Sgt. Cookie]

1935: Simon Templar is never to be used as a character concept. Ever.

[Aidan305]

1934c. I am never allowed to be a dragon, ever.

Might make it a little difficult to play Fireborn.