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    Default [3.5e Bloodline] DM's Worst Nightmare (*Sobs*)

    People like my bloodlines too much. So I decided to make one everyone would hate. (Minor inspiration from Sereg's Keeper of the Fourth Gate)

    DM's Worst Nightmare


    There's the PC-Kin, the descendents of the most dangerous people ever known, and then there's the DM's Worst Nightmares, the individuals that destroy the world, not by accident or for the "shinies" but for the glee of the destruction. All they want is to watch the creator of the world cry. No one knows what went wrong when the Nightmares were conceived, but there most have been something. Some great curse that would inevitably bring about the end of the world. Or at least the campaign.

    And remember Nightmares, if the DM smites your character with lightning, rocks, or the like, runs away screaming, refuses to let you into their house any more, quits tabletop RPGs for all time, burns their books and/or is permanently scarred for life, you won.

    {table=head] Level |
    Minor
    |
    Intermediate
    |
    Major

    1 | | | Bluff +2
    2 | | Bluff +2 | Detect Plot Direction
    3 | | | Charisma +1
    4 | Bluff +2 | Detect Plot Direction | Slay Plot-Relevant NPC
    5 | | | NPC Affinity +2
    6 | | Charisma +1 | Demand Loot
    7 | | | Diplomacy +2
    8 | Detect Plot Direction | Slay Plot-Relevant NPC | Defy Railroading
    9 | | | Intelligence +1
    10 | | NPC Affinity +2 | Improved Hating This Campaign
    11 | | | NPC Affinity +4
    12 | Charisma +1 | Demand Loot | Metagaming
    13 | | | Sleight of hand +2
    14 | | Diplomacy +2 | Demand to See Life's Manager
    15 | | | Wisdom +1
    16 | Slay Plot-Relevant NPC | Defy Railroading | Irrefutable Logic
    17 | | | NPC Affinity +6
    18 | | Intelligence +1 | Break game
    19 | | | Intimidate +2
    20 | NPC Affinity +2 | Improved Hating This Campaign | Shatter Campaign
    [/table]

    Detect Plot Direction: "Knowing's half the battle". If you know where the DM wants you to go, you know where to go to most anger them. You have an intuitive knowledge of what course of action would be most beneficial to the plot. E.G. If you're supposed to follow a particular hook that you got, say, a barmaid mentioning an orcish raiding party in the mountains, you are notified that that is the course of action you are supposed to take.

    Slay Plot-Relevant NPC: Nothing angers the Creator more than killing off a major NPC. Thanks to this ability, they cannot come up with some lame excuse for how they don't die.

    NPC Affinity: Diplomacy is great. So is Bluff. You can stop people from killing you, convince them you didn't rob them and then convince them to kill their friends. It also makes the DM furious. The Nightmare gains a bonus on all social interaction checks with NPCs.

    Demand Loot: There's a reason there's WBL tables. To make sure you have all the resources you deserve. If you have less than the amount of total wealth indicated in the WBL table, obviously the DM is doing something wrong. Upon invoking this ability, you must come into an amount of wealth such that your total wealth will equal or exceed that listed within one in-game week.

    Defy Railroading: Thanks to Detect Plot Direction, Nightmares have a wonderful chance of going off the tracks. The DM's natural reaction to try to put you back on said tracks. Often forcibly. Once you obtain this ability, you're will becomes that of adamantine. If you detect that you are being railroaded, this feature may be utilized to simply avoid it. "I can't go to the mountains because I'm in debt to the king and they'll send men after me if I leave? So what. I leave." You're actions are entirely your own and the DM no longer has the power to force you into any course that you are not willing to take. As an added bonus, you get a +2 on saves versus enchantment and various objects thrown by your DM.

    Improved Hating This Campaign: Detect Plot Direction is great for fleeing a story altogether, but sometimes you want something a little more impactful. Worse than refusing to play along is playing along but doing so in the most annoying manner possible. Detect Plot Direction now additionally informs you what course of action would be most detrimental to the storyline.

    Metagaming: The bane of all DMs everywhere. Is now a bloodline feature. All player knowledge is character knowledge.

    Demand to See Life's Manager: The world is a messed up, hackneyed place with errors everywhere. EVERYWHERE. If you can make a good case for why something is wrong with the world, the DM must fix said incorrect aspect.

    Irrefutable Logic: You always have a good case.

    Break Game: I'd be disappointed if you hadn't already by now. But hey, let's make it official. Choose one of the following: Infinite standard actions each round, infinite speed, infinite melee damage, infinite spell damage, unlimited health, immunity to everything, ability to shapeshift into anything or a similar feature of your creation.

    Shatter Campaign: You win.



    You know, I think this one may be just a smidge too powerful.
    Last edited by Welknair; 2011-07-15 at 06:01 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Daverin View Post
    Welknair, you are like... some living avatar of win. Who's made of win. And wields win as if it were but a toy. Win.
    Quote Originally Posted by Virdish
    Welknair you are a god among men. Thank you for creating a playground for the completely insane.
    Quote Originally Posted by Morph Bark
    There have also been times where I was jealous of your ingenuity and skills.

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    Default Re: [3.5e Bloodline] DM's Worst Nightmare (*Sobs*)

    Love the DM of the Rings shoutout there.

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    Default Re: [3.5e Bloodline] DM's Worst Nightmare (*Sobs*)

    Quote Originally Posted by Dust View Post
    Love the DM of the Rings shoutout there.
    "AM I SOME SORT OF UNCERTAINTY LICH?"



    (If you look closely, there's a Portal 2 one as well)
    Last edited by Welknair; 2011-07-13 at 03:43 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Daverin View Post
    Welknair, you are like... some living avatar of win. Who's made of win. And wields win as if it were but a toy. Win.
    Quote Originally Posted by Virdish
    Welknair you are a god among men. Thank you for creating a playground for the completely insane.
    Quote Originally Posted by Morph Bark
    There have also been times where I was jealous of your ingenuity and skills.

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    Griffon

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    Default Re: [3.5e Bloodline] DM's Worst Nightmare (*Sobs*)

    If you meant my Keeper of the Fourth Gate, then thanks for the credit (pity that I never finished it, even if it was a joke. I did wonder if there was a way to adapt it to not be overpowered and actually playable). Anyway, very nice. I also liked the DM of the Rings refferance.

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    Default Re: [3.5e Bloodline] DM's Worst Nightmare (*Sobs*)

    Quote Originally Posted by Sereg View Post
    If you meant my Keeper of the Fourth Gate, then thanks for the credit (pity that I never finished it, even if it was a joke. I did wonder if there was a way to adapt it to not be overpowered and actually playable). Anyway, very nice. I also liked the DM of the Rings refferance.
    Ah, it was yours! Proper credit as well as the link have been added.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Daverin View Post
    Welknair, you are like... some living avatar of win. Who's made of win. And wields win as if it were but a toy. Win.
    Quote Originally Posted by Virdish
    Welknair you are a god among men. Thank you for creating a playground for the completely insane.
    Quote Originally Posted by Morph Bark
    There have also been times where I was jealous of your ingenuity and skills.

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    Default Re: [3.5e Bloodline] DM's Worst Nightmare (*Sobs*)

    Demand to see lifes manager. Classic.

    "FEAR my citric wrath!
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    Default Re: [3.5e Bloodline] DM's Worst Nightmare (*Sobs*)

    Oh dear lord, I hope this never is found by one of my friends who plays DnD. The results would be... less than desirable.
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    Default Re: [3.5e Bloodline] DM's Worst Nightmare (*Sobs*)

    Minor Bloodline: Annoyance.

    Intermediate Bloodline: Possible danger to the campaign

    Major Bloodline: OH PELOR, WHY?


    I like to make a joke bloodline after every few serious ones.
    Avatar by Araveugnitsuga

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    Quote Originally Posted by Daverin View Post
    Welknair, you are like... some living avatar of win. Who's made of win. And wields win as if it were but a toy. Win.
    Quote Originally Posted by Virdish
    Welknair you are a god among men. Thank you for creating a playground for the completely insane.
    Quote Originally Posted by Morph Bark
    There have also been times where I was jealous of your ingenuity and skills.

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    Default Re: [3.5e Bloodline] DM's Worst Nightmare (*Sobs*)

    Quote Originally Posted by Welknair View Post
    Ah, it was yours! Proper credit as well as the link have been added.
    Thank you. Glad to be a source of inspiration. And yes, no sane DM would let this (or even my PrC) into their campaign (which, of course, is the idea) but as I said, I still think that a playable version might be fun as well.

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    Default Re: [3.5e Bloodline] DM's Worst Nightmare (*Sobs*)

    This Bloodline is just plain wrong , in all the right ways .
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    Quote Originally Posted by Moonwolf727 View Post
    To avoid harming the sanity of the DM I can no longer:

    * Cast flesh to stone on a annoying Druid
    ** Cast Rock to mud on a Druid statue
    *** Scoop mud into little ceramic pots
    **** Plant tree's in individual ceramic pots
    ***** Claim that I have helped them become one with nature
    Quote Originally Posted by Chilingsworth View Post
    Congrats, you made me laugh hard enough to draw my family's attention.

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    Default Re: [3.5e Bloodline] DM's Worst Nightmare (*Sobs*)

    Quote Originally Posted by Erik Vale View Post
    This Bloodline is just plain wrong , in all the right ways .
    Good. That's what I was going for.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Daverin View Post
    Welknair, you are like... some living avatar of win. Who's made of win. And wields win as if it were but a toy. Win.
    Quote Originally Posted by Virdish
    Welknair you are a god among men. Thank you for creating a playground for the completely insane.
    Quote Originally Posted by Morph Bark
    There have also been times where I was jealous of your ingenuity and skills.

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    Default Re: [3.5e Bloodline] DM's Worst Nightmare (*Sobs*)

    Sorry, I believe you mentioned that bloodlines are never ridiculously overpowered, did you not?
    Also, does this come in ASW format?

    Also, this is what I was talking about. The rest of them have no clue. Muahaha!
    Last edited by Keeper of Starlight; 2011-07-17 at 12:36 AM.
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    Default Re: [3.5e Bloodline] DM's Worst Nightmare (*Sobs*)

    Quote Originally Posted by Πέρα από τον Ορ View Post
    Sorry, I believe you mentioned that bloodlines are never ridiculously overpowered, did you not?
    Also, does this come in ASW format?

    Also, this is what I was talking about. The rest of them have no clue. Muahaha!
    Well this is a joke Bloodline. My serious ones are relatively balanced, I think. And ASW doesn't yet have a bloodline system. And when it does (I do intend to add one), it won't be based on levels. Because ASW doesn't have levels.
    Avatar by Araveugnitsuga

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    Quote Originally Posted by Daverin View Post
    Welknair, you are like... some living avatar of win. Who's made of win. And wields win as if it were but a toy. Win.
    Quote Originally Posted by Virdish
    Welknair you are a god among men. Thank you for creating a playground for the completely insane.
    Quote Originally Posted by Morph Bark
    There have also been times where I was jealous of your ingenuity and skills.

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    Default Re: [3.5e Bloodline] DM's Worst Nightmare (*Sobs*)

    I am mighty amused by this bloodline, but alas, my players need no help in destroying my carefully and lovingly crafted worlds. One player in particular has managed to do pretty much all of this in game as it is, at least now I have something to show him which justifies his actions (well, not really, but I'm laughing anyway so it's fine!)

    Worst bit is, some of this could actually have relevance in a serious campaign, and that's not fair!
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    Default Re: [3.5e Bloodline] DM's Worst Nightmare (*Sobs*)

    So, looking at "Slay Plot Relevant NPC", and your NPC PrC, "PC Proof Ones", which one trumps which?
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    Quote Originally Posted by jiriku View Post
    ...magical trumps mundane so often that mundane really needs to be able to give magic a good kick in the junk now and then.

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    Default Re: [3.5e Bloodline] DM's Worst Nightmare (*Sobs*)

    Quote Originally Posted by Sypher667 View Post
    So, looking at "Slay Plot Relevant NPC", and your NPC PrC, "PC Proof Ones", which one trumps which?
    That's a very good question.

    And quite frankly, not one I have an answer to.


    If such a matter came up in a game which I was running (I.E. A DM's Worst Nightmare of at least 4th level slew a PC Proof One), I would:

    1. Question what sort of game I'm running. Like seriously.
    2. Try to avoid that eventuality.
    3. Say that the result is the same as when you divide by zero.

    Other may choose differently. It's really a matter of personal preference on the DM's part.
    Avatar by Araveugnitsuga

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    Quote Originally Posted by Daverin View Post
    Welknair, you are like... some living avatar of win. Who's made of win. And wields win as if it were but a toy. Win.
    Quote Originally Posted by Virdish
    Welknair you are a god among men. Thank you for creating a playground for the completely insane.
    Quote Originally Posted by Morph Bark
    There have also been times where I was jealous of your ingenuity and skills.

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    Default Re: [3.5e Bloodline] DM's Worst Nightmare (*Sobs*)

    Quote Originally Posted by Welknair View Post
    That's a very good question.

    And quite frankly, not one I have an answer to.
    I do have an answer!

    You don't get to invent an excuse for why he comes back (DM's Worst Nightmare); he just does (PC-Proof one).

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    Default Re: [3.5e Bloodline] DM's Worst Nightmare (*Sobs*)

    Quote Originally Posted by Pokemon-freak89 View Post
    I do have an answer!

    You don't get to invent an excuse for why he comes back (DM's Worst Nightmare); he just does (PC-Proof one).
    Im suprised he didn't think of that.

    Though I agree with his first action. Personally, thats the smashed sort of campaign, or the one where you are deliberately torturing yourself for whatever reason.
    Last edited by Erik Vale; 2011-10-07 at 11:28 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Moonwolf727 View Post
    To avoid harming the sanity of the DM I can no longer:

    * Cast flesh to stone on a annoying Druid
    ** Cast Rock to mud on a Druid statue
    *** Scoop mud into little ceramic pots
    **** Plant tree's in individual ceramic pots
    ***** Claim that I have helped them become one with nature
    Quote Originally Posted by Chilingsworth View Post
    Congrats, you made me laugh hard enough to draw my family's attention.

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    Default Re: [3.5e Bloodline] DM's Worst Nightmare (*Sobs*)

    Quote Originally Posted by Sypher667 View Post
    So, looking at "Slay Plot Relevant NPC", and your NPC PrC, "PC Proof Ones", which one trumps which?
    You think about this the wrong way.

    PC Proof Ones are PC Proof because they are NOT plot-relevant.
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    Default Re: [3.5e Bloodline] DM's Worst Nightmare (*Sobs*)

    Quote Originally Posted by Welknair View Post
    That's a very good question.

    And quite frankly, not one I have an answer to.


    If such a matter came up in a game which I was running (I.E. A DM's Worst Nightmare of at least 4th level slew a PC Proof One), I would:

    1. Question what sort of game I'm running. Like seriously.
    2. Try to avoid that eventuality.
    3. Say that the result is the same as when you divide by zero.

    Other may choose differently. It's really a matter of personal preference on the DM's part.
    This thread made me smile. Then I hit this post and cracked. My sides seriously hurt right now from the laughing. Thank you.

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