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  1. - Top - End - #841
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    Default Re: GitP PrC Contest Chat Thread IV

    I'm gonna drop some brief PEACHes here. Basically going in order as much as I can. These won't be the in-depth point-by-point peaches I used to do, but hopefully you find them useful

    Wielder of the Dimensional Gallery
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    I find it curious that a class based almost entirely around using weapons has poor BAB. I understand that with the generic "class feature" advancement it might be scary to think of a caster taking this and getting free good BAB, but unless something later on really helps this class hit things, you might need to crank up this particular knob.

    Seems weird that there's the potential for the transformation into Dimensional Galleries could potentially be a nerf. With no Charisma bonus, the Gloves actually become worse because of the lack of subtlety. Why Charisma, anyway?

    I really dig Dimensional Enhancements. It's a great way to make versatility not a punishment in DnD, and encourage people to switch it up more often during combat. Combined with Custom Weapons, I really like this.

    Feat of Weapons is the kind of thing melee classes really need, but probably does put this over most other fighting classes (outside the ToB, most likely.) Still, it lets you be effective AND versatile. Which I'm ok with, really.

    Teachings of Weapons are a mixed bag. Some are kind of eh, some are really damn good. Initiating classes get pretty killer bonuses here. Two strikes as a Full Round Action? Sign me up. Lots of free feats from this class.

    Final Assault is really cool, but I think the downside is a bit much. Five attacks in a round (really, the most likely amount of attacks you'll be making with this, since I don't see anyone really having a high Cha and taking this class) isn't that ridiculous. Heck, it'll be a downgrade for a lot of high-level melee people with Full BAB. No need to fatigue them afterward.

    Overall, it's a really fun class, with a lot of potential power behind it. I see Initiating classes liking this the most, but even then, the poor BAB really, really, really hurts. Also the hit die is pretty low for a combat class, and might be worth at least a good Fort save too. I'm not sure why Cha of all stats is what class abilities get based on, and as much as I appreciate the work you've done here, I just don't see, say, Binders bothering with the class. Might be fun, though, I dunno. There is something to be said for those 5 free levels of the base class.

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  2. - Top - End - #842
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    Default Re: GitP PrC Contest Chat Thread IV

    Quote Originally Posted by Hyooz View Post
    I'm gonna drop some brief PEACHes here. Basically going in order as much as I can. These won't be the in-depth point-by-point peaches I used to do, but hopefully you find them useful

    Wielder of the Dimensional Gallery
    Thanks for the PEACH

    I find it curious that a class based almost entirely around using weapons has poor BAB. I understand that with the generic "class feature" advancement it might be scary to think of a caster taking this and getting free good BAB, but unless something later on really helps this class hit things, you might need to crank up this particular knob.
    I had actually meant to make it at least medium, if not full. I used a table generator for the class and apparently forgot to change it.

    Seems weird that there's the potential for the transformation into Dimensional Galleries could potentially be a nerf. With no Charisma bonus, the Gloves actually become worse because of the lack of subtlety. Why Charisma, anyway?
    Originally I was figuring on making it dependent on some mental stat modifier, and decided on Charisma. But with such a wide range of classes that could potentially enter it, I'm going to change it to purely based upon class levels (as much as possible anyway).

    I really dig Dimensional Enhancements. It's a great way to make versatility not a punishment in DnD, and encourage people to switch it up more often during combat. Combined with Custom Weapons, I really like this.
    Good! Glad you like it. Exactly what I was aiming for.

    Feat of Weapons is the kind of thing melee classes really need, but probably does put this over most other fighting classes (outside the ToB, most likely.) Still, it lets you be effective AND versatile. Which I'm ok with, really.
    Good. This allows them to be effective with all different types of weapons, but not as good as someone who specialized in one specific fighting style (such as the ubercharger).

    Teachings of Weapons are a mixed bag. Some are kind of eh, some are really damn good. Initiating classes get pretty killer bonuses here. Two strikes as a Full Round Action? Sign me up. Lots of free feats from this class.
    This week I plan on going through these and evening them out more. I want it to be a viable option to all classes after all. I originally just typed out what ever came to my head, with only small revisions.

    Final Assault is really cool, but I think the downside is a bit much. Five attacks in a round (really, the most likely amount of attacks you'll be making with this, since I don't see anyone really having a high Cha and taking this class) isn't that ridiculous. Heck, it'll be a downgrade for a lot of high-level melee people with Full BAB. No need to fatigue them afterward.
    Hmmmmm......... I'm debating how to go about this. Might just make it with all weapons they possess, and have them able to carry a number of weapons equal to 1 + class levels. What do you think?

    Overall, it's a really fun class, with a lot of potential power behind it. I see Initiating classes liking this the most, but even then, the poor BAB really, really, really hurts. Also the hit die is pretty low for a combat class, and might be worth at least a good Fort save too. I'm not sure why Cha of all stats is what class abilities get based on, and as much as I appreciate the work you've done here, I just don't see, say, Binders bothering with the class. Might be fun, though, I dunno. There is something to be said for those 5 free levels of the base class.
    Glad you like it! Hopefully with a few changes, it'll appeal to all classes!

    I'll go ahead and make a few changes later today! Still debating if I'll change the class or not, with this feedback might not (might not have the time anyway, with my spellbound hombrew project.......).
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  3. - Top - End - #843
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    Default Re: GitP PrC Contest Chat Thread IV

    Can I get a peach on the Verdant as it is now? I'll be adding to it soon, but I'd like to know what people think.
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    Quote Originally Posted by GFawkes View Post
    You didn't poke fate with a stick. You set fate on fire, then whacked it with a 2x4 several times.
    Quote Originally Posted by blackwind1kaze View Post
    good thing they did body attribute instead of Physical attribute, otherwise the stats would look like:

    P. hysical
    M. ind
    S. pirit

    XD

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  4. - Top - End - #844
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    Default Re: GitP PrC Contest Chat Thread IV

    Of note: the Many Blades ability mostly serves to limit which Dancing Weapons the other class abilities apply to.

    Perhaps I should spend the next two weeks reworking this to specialize in a single dancing weapon over 5 levels to make it fall within WBL...and not be OP numbers of attacks.
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  5. - Top - End - #845
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    Default Re: GitP PrC Contest Chat Thread IV

    The crunch on Walker of the Endless Way is completely done! Fluff to come soon, but I'll take PEACHes on the mechanics from anyone kind enough to give 'em to me. I really wish I had more time to PEACH other folks' stuff, but I barely have the ability to get on and hammer out my own class as it is, sadly T_T Maybe when I have my own internet again.


    Quote Originally Posted by Chilingsworth View Post
    Wow! Not only was that awesome, I think I actually kinda understand Archeron now. If all the "intermediate" outer planes got that kind of treatment, I doubt there would be anywhere near as many critics of their utility.
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  6. - Top - End - #846
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    Default Re: GitP PrC Contest Chat Thread IV

    Quote Originally Posted by Lord_Gareth View Post
    The crunch on Walker of the Endless Way is completely done! Fluff to come soon, but I'll take PEACHes on the mechanics from anyone kind enough to give 'em to me. I really wish I had more time to PEACH other folks' stuff, but I barely have the ability to get on and hammer out my own class as it is, sadly T_T Maybe when I have my own internet again.
    I'd give you one, but going over the list of class features and saying I like it wouldn't be very useful.

    The most constructive thing I can say is that I wouldn't allow it, or more precisely Walk it Off, in my IRL planescape game. That has more to do with the style of planescape and my game (getting to places can be an adventure in itself and is often half the adventure) than the ability, though.

    All in all it looks really nice.
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  7. - Top - End - #847
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    Default Re: GitP PrC Contest Chat Thread IV

    Quote Originally Posted by Zaydos View Post
    I'd give you one, but going over the list of class features and saying I like it wouldn't be very useful.

    The most constructive thing I can say is that I wouldn't allow it, or more precisely Walk it Off, in my IRL planescape game. That has more to do with the style of planescape and my game (getting to places can be an adventure in itself and is often half the adventure) than the ability, though.

    All in all it looks really nice.
    How does Walk it Off hurt that at all?


    Quote Originally Posted by Chilingsworth View Post
    Wow! Not only was that awesome, I think I actually kinda understand Archeron now. If all the "intermediate" outer planes got that kind of treatment, I doubt there would be anywhere near as many critics of their utility.
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  8. - Top - End - #848
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    Default Re: GitP PrC Contest Chat Thread IV

    Quote Originally Posted by Lord_Gareth View Post
    How does Walk it Off hurt that at all?
    Take the Negative Energy Plane, for example, where one of the dangers is that the plane itself will kill you. It's possible to get around it with spells but those are prone to dispel, and finite durations. Then there's stuff like Baator, or more importantly the Abyss, where there are dangerous environmental hazards which do not fall under the planar trait of the plane and therefore are unaffected by the spells that mainly get around it (Attune Form). In short it takes away a lot of hazards you can put forth on the Outer Planes many of which add to the feel of Planescape that reality is alien and ultimately somewhat dangerous.
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  9. - Top - End - #849
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    Default Re: GitP PrC Contest Chat Thread IV

    I feel my class is missing something or a number of things. Would anyone mind peaching it. so i figure out what it needs.
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  10. - Top - End - #850
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    Default Re: GitP PrC Contest Chat Thread IV

    10 Verdant Root abilites, meaning it is now technically finished even if i will be adding more abilities. Please PEACH.
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    Quote Originally Posted by GFawkes View Post
    You didn't poke fate with a stick. You set fate on fire, then whacked it with a 2x4 several times.
    Quote Originally Posted by blackwind1kaze View Post
    good thing they did body attribute instead of Physical attribute, otherwise the stats would look like:

    P. hysical
    M. ind
    S. pirit

    XD

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  11. - Top - End - #851
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    Default Re: GitP PrC Contest Chat Thread IV

    Quote Originally Posted by Glimbur View Post
    You might actually be better off making a second unlock a swift action, what with quickened spells and a few magic items and such. Doing aggressive things with a move action is dangerous in the action economy.

    As I said, it's a cool idea. I might have written it as a non-caster PrC, but that's because I have a soft spot for non-casters.
    I've made changes to a number of puzzles and made unlocking a second puzzle in the same round a swift action. Since you can get higher ULs now, I left the UL prereqs instead of level prereqs.

    I've also changed it to a noncaster PrC, which was a big change, but definitely makes it more interesting, since you can focus on the puzzle box and not worry about your spells. Would you be willing to look at it again?
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  12. - Top - End - #852
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    Question Re: GitP PrC Contest Chat Thread IV

    Anyone have any ideas on how to create a good way for a fighter or other melee to keep their attacks but still be able to literally pull a spell out of their pocket once in a while and allow a wizard to keep viable spellcasting without actually gaining levels and instead being able to keep that "pulling a spell out of the pocket" thing and be able to also grab a sword out of thin air and swing it proficiently?
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  13. - Top - End - #853
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    Default Re: GitP PrC Contest Chat Thread IV

    Quote Originally Posted by Zelkon View Post
    Anyone have any ideas on how to create a good way for a fighter or other melee to keep their attacks but still be able to literally pull a spell out of their pocket once in a while and allow a wizard to keep viable spellcasting without actually gaining levels and instead being able to keep that "pulling a spell out of the pocket" thing and be able to also grab a sword out of thin air and swing it proficiently?
    Well.... if you're okay with homebrew systems, you could check out Ritual Magic...
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  14. - Top - End - #854
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    Default Re: GitP PrC Contest Chat Thread IV

    I suggest just that. No reason the class features need to be physical objects. Just have them pull the spell out of their pocket, literally. Reach into pocket, spell happens. If you insist, have it be dust they throw that casts the spell or some such.
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  15. - Top - End - #855
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    Default Re: GitP PrC Contest Chat Thread IV

    Give them a GP limit and use the price of scrolls for the spells. Limit the spell level by class level, should be good enough for your purposes.
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    Quote Originally Posted by GFawkes View Post
    You didn't poke fate with a stick. You set fate on fire, then whacked it with a 2x4 several times.
    Quote Originally Posted by blackwind1kaze View Post
    good thing they did body attribute instead of Physical attribute, otherwise the stats would look like:

    P. hysical
    M. ind
    S. pirit

    XD

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  16. - Top - End - #856
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    Default Re: GitP PrC Contest Chat Thread IV

    Hey, guys, guys! I finally finished the replacement for Livewood Daughter! I'd really appreciate some PEACHes if y'all don't mind.
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  17. - Top - End - #857
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    Default Re: GitP PrC Contest Chat Thread IV

    Quote Originally Posted by Jeff the Green View Post
    Hey, guys, guys! I finally finished the replacement for Livewood Daughter! I'd really appreciate some PEACHes if y'all don't mind.
    I'm loving your quote.
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  18. - Top - End - #858
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    Default Re: GitP PrC Contest Chat Thread IV

    Bump for great justice?

    Having some 'getting time to work on my stuff' issues with my fluff. Knocking it out slow and steady.


    Quote Originally Posted by Chilingsworth View Post
    Wow! Not only was that awesome, I think I actually kinda understand Archeron now. If all the "intermediate" outer planes got that kind of treatment, I doubt there would be anywhere near as many critics of their utility.
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  19. - Top - End - #859
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    Default Re: GitP PrC Contest Chat Thread IV

    Inspired by this contest, I submit to you: The Prettiest.
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  20. - Top - End - #860
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    Default Re: GitP PrC Contest Chat Thread IV

    Dancer of Blades MK 2 is finished! I added in the fluff this time, too.

    Now it's just the one Dancing Weapon (or two for Two-Weapon Fighting...as an option), instead of four. More affordable, and less broken.

    Would appreciate some PEACH here. If you'd like me to return PEACH, just note at the beginning or end of your PEACH.

    Zaydos, I offer you a free PEACH, since you already checked out the MK 1 for me. Look in the spoiler below.

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    Entry Requirements: The Skills don't make as much sense to me. It seems to be separate from the theme of the class (I realize they are intended to give a level requirement indirectly, though). However, I find the Feats and Special to be completely logical and reasonable to achieve (you might clarify the saving throw due to the bonus from a cloak, but then I'm a stickler for clarity. I understood what you meant anyway).

    Skills and HD:Nothing to mention here, it looks all squared away.

    BAB and Saves: Again, good. Building around the Cloak of Resistance, you'd have no option but to have all good saves.

    Weapon Proficiencies: No problem here.

    Traveler's Cloak: Now we're to the meat of the class. Abilities! I like this one, but it scales oddly. At level one, with the expected Cloak of Resistance +1, you'd have resist 1 all, an almost ignorable amount. But at level ten in this class, when you could reasonably have gotten a Cloak +3, you have 30 resist all, which is a significant amount. Finally, Sonic is usually kept separate from the other four resists, but of course it isn't necessarily overpowered to have it anyway.

    Traveler's Resistance:Here is a fairly standard Use/Day ability. It fits the theme of the class and isn't too overly powerful (Luck Domain is available to Clerics at level one and does better than this). It isn't flashy, but then I guess your class isn't supposed to be flashy since its fairly defensive.

    Bonus Feats:I feel like these are arbitrarily spaced in the levels, but it's good to round out all three of the feats as you progress in the class. I approve.

    Way of Combat:This, like the skill requirements for entry, seems to stick out to the side. I think the ability makes sense, mechanically, but you might try to introduce a reason for it. Also fix the wording; right now it seems as if the unarmed swordsage levels are included with stuff that isn't stacked ("other monk abilities, or").

    Evasion and Mettle:In a class full of saving throws, what else could we expect?

    Spell Absorption:Now the cloak begins to do different things. I like the way this one works, but shouldn't it also benefit Saving Throws (then again, that might start getting out of hand)? Maybe add a note that a new application replaces a previous, weaker one.

    Cloaked Life: I wanted to say the scaling for this ability seems odd again, but I changed my mind. It works the way it is. Add a caveat that if the cloak is the target of a second dispel attempt while the Cloaked Life ability is dispelled, the cloak can be affected and I'm happy.

    Iron Body:Whoa, watch where you're throwing that DR/-. Drop it to Cloak's Bonus instead of Cloak's Bonusx2, methinks. For comparison, if someone sticks with the barbarian class for 19 levels, they have DR 5/-. A Dwarven Defender, the class which is theoretically supposed to be the one taking physical hits, compared to the Waywanderer's Saving Throws Galore, only gets the same DR 6/- at level ten. DR 3/- and +3 AC with a Cloak +3 is plenty.

    Spell Turning: Instead of having this ability apply x/day, maybe allow it to affect x Spell Levels/day. That would bring it in line with other spell defenses, including the original Spell Turning spell, Rods of Absorption, etc. Right now the Waywanderer, at level 7, assuming Monk 5 before entry, could reasonably turn 12 spells of any level per day (assuming Wis 20, not unreasonable). Compare an Abjurer who prepares nothing but Spell Turning for the same day, of the same level (assume he has some way to gain two bonus 7th level spells, which is less likely than a Wis 20 Monk/Waywanderer, but not impossible), who could be able to cast the spell four times, allowing him to turn at most 40 spell levels, or a mere 8 5th level spells, or fewer of higher level.

    Traveler's Fortune: Good here, simple to understand and not too overpowered.

    Spell Theft: I like it, but see my thoughts on Spell Reflection, above for the limits per day (obviously if you change one, you have to change the other too, since Spell Theft is based on Spell Reflection).

    Soul Cloak: This is good. It frees the character somewhat from their item dependency, but also leaves them a penalty for leaving it behind. Maybe as fluff, require them to wear some kind of cloak, even a tattered blanked, to gain the benefits of the feature; after all these are adventurers who live and die by their cloaks.

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  21. - Top - End - #861
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    Default Re: GitP PrC Contest Chat Thread IV

    Quote Originally Posted by MoleMage View Post
    Dancer of Blades MK 2 is finished! I added in the fluff this time, too.

    Now it's just the one Dancing Weapon (or two for Two-Weapon Fighting...as an option), instead of four. More affordable, and less broken.

    Would appreciate some PEACH here. If you'd like me to return PEACH, just note at the beginning or end of your PEACH.
    Let me take a look...

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    Okay, Prereqs are pretty easy to meet, +7 BAB and own a dancing weapon, simple, straightforward, and accessible by anyone willing to wait a few levels.

    Skills are... a little odd but I can see the reasons behind them.

    HD is fine as is, trade some endurance to be able to fight with a sword from a distance, I like it.

    Chassis is as expected, good Fort is common among warriors, and the Ref I can see from wielding weapons this way, good BAB is essential for a warrior.

    Wpn/Arm Prof is a good addition, boosts some of the classes that enter.

    Bonded weapon is not listed on the table, the Table refers to Extended Dance, is that a carry over that was missed? As for the feature itself, it looks good, a total of 10 extra rounds by the end of the class will make it useful in most combats, unless it's an all out war, that should be sufficient

    Echoed Blade is a good way to allow the dancer to melee at the same time and would just look awesome on the field. And the ability to let it dance as well is a good one, limiting it to one round makes it a little less useful but for good reason.

    Freed Blade, adds a little distance, keeps the weapon close, and gives some bonus options when fighting, looks good, not overpowered, but useful nonetheless.

    Forced Opening is a good option for a Dancer, makes sense thematically and has good combat effects if you work as part of a larger unit, esspecially if you have a rogue or similar class in the party

    Living weapon is an interesting ability and definitely a good capstone, it removes the normal limitations of the dancing quality and directly upgrades it, which is essentially what the class is about.

    Dancing Weapon Tricks:
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    Two Weapon Dancing, keyed towards the Ranger, obviously, but also good for a fighter or TWFing rogue, good option overall if you can afford it. Only question is if Echoed Blade works on both simultaneously

    Weapon Call is a perfect way to give back actions to the dancer, very good overall option for them regardless of how they actually fight.

    Dancing (Maneuver) Tricks: Good for fighters with a specific fighting style or for anyone else with the feats, and a good way to use them while still being able to attack more directly.

    Extra Bond seems like a more general version of Two Weapon Dancing. A better option for more focused single weapon fighters

    Dancing Defense is a good choice for lightly armored warriors and rogues, I'd take it myself since I like my defenses. How would this interact with Two Weapon Defense and Two Weapon Dancing?

    Dancing Reflexes has such a good image to it in my head, and the feat it provides is useful.

    The Playing a Dancer of Blades part provides good advice for anyone that wants to take the class, which is always nice

    Overall, I think it's well balanced and nicely done.

    I would like to request a PEACH of my class, as I'm unsure how good it is or if i missed anything in the past few overlooks of it. I'm esspecially worried about one of the Goodberry Roots abilities (Grim Harvest) because it might be too powerful even if it is a kill switch if used for higher level stuff.
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    good thing they did body attribute instead of Physical attribute, otherwise the stats would look like:

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  22. - Top - End - #862
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    Default Re: GitP PrC Contest Chat Thread IV

    I'll P.E.A.C.H. what I can.

    Be warned that I am incredibly harsh and I am putting all of my opinions down here; grammar, style, mechanics, I'm looking at everything.

    First Class, Wielder of the Dimensional Gallery.
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    First, I'm kind of burnt out of the X of Y Z formula that many people use when naming prestige classes. Its a little bit too safe of a naming convention for my taste. I'm also not crazy about the description being a narrative. It doesn't tell me much about the class itself and it also makes me think that the class is military-focused, which may or may not be the case.

    The Entry Requirements are too lax. As a general rule of thumb, Prestige Classes should require a minimum of 5th level to qualify for. This class can be easily entered by 3rd level. Basing your entry requirements solely upon the acquisition of a magic item is not a good idea. I would either up the Base Attack Bonus requirement, throw in some more feats, or add some skill rank prerequisites. Also, the class currently does not possess Class Skills.

    Wait, the narrative goes into the actual description of the game mechanics? No. No way. Absolutely not. You have plenty of other places to be flavorful with the Prestige Class. When I sit down to read about the Prestige Class's abilities, I do not want to have to shift through your narrative to do so. It is not good design by any means.

    Clearly not finished.

    Rating 0 / 10. The class is too caught up in its own narrative voice to take seriously.


    Second Class, Walkers of the Endless Way.
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    You could improve a lot on the flow of your writing. Overused phrases like "a lot of people" should be dropped in favor of something new. The use of parenthesis (like this) is annoying (at best) and only servers to (severely) interrupt the flow of your writing. Get rid of them. The class has several places where it asks questions, such as "Perhaps they ...." Don't try to promote ideas in your reader's head. Not everyone is as skilled at homebrewing as the people you're writing among. You need to have ideas to give; don't ask me for my own or I'd have written your product myself.

    All of your and/or requirements are jarring at best because of and/or layout you are currently using. This system makes figuring out your class's prerequisites a chore because there are so many ways to qualify for the class. An easier way to do this would be to include several special entries that say, "You must meet one of the following prerequisites: A, B, C, or D." You also don't appear to be using colons and semi-colons correctly; in the most general of terms, use colons to denote a pause prior to a list and a semi-colon when combining two sentences together. Another example is in your Weapons Proficiency section; something like "Walkers of the Endless way are proficient with special attacks received from taking levels in this prestige class but otherwise gain no new weapon or armor proficiencies." is much clearer and to the point than, "Walkers of the Endless Way gain no new weapon or armor proficiencies. They are, however, considered proficient with any special attacks they gain from this class."

    Your ability, Seven League Stride, makes no sense. In its opening line, the flavor text says that you are immune to fatigue, but when you actually read the mechanics, the ability states you are immune to exhaustion but not fatigue. This doesn't make sense from a game mechanics point of view, because exhaustion is a more severe form of fatigue. What I assume you are trying to say is that you never become exhausted from movement actions such as forced marches or hustling. Also, I loathe percentage-based bonuses, especially this one. What if I somehow manage to get levels of Monk to the point where I have a +20 feet bonus as well as my +30 enhancement bonus from my boots of striding and springing? That's a total of a +50 bonus, which rounds down to 25 feet. That's ridiculous. Whether or not such a combination actually exists, I don't know, but its poor wording and design that could potentially allow for massive rules abuse.

    Your Springing Dodge footwork tells me that I need to make a jump check, but it doesn't tell me what that check is for. It just references "movement." So is it a jump to move horizontally? Vertically? Both? I think this is meant to be an escape mechanic, in which case it is not very well described.

    I don't think the Once per Encounter mechanic works very well here. That is a very 4th Edition mechanic and if I recall correctly, the Martial Maneuver system never uses the phrase "once per encounter" either. Your footworks would work better if you explain that your footworks are refreshed (or whatever term Martial Maneuvers use, its been too long) whenever your martial maneuvers are, or something similar. Tie it to a mechanic you're already using anyway. Actually, you could even say, "footworks function as martial maneuvers, except they do not count against your readied maneuvers" and then just add tags like Agile Charge (strike) and the like.

    Why does this class only go to 7th level, anyway? That seems kind of lazy, to be honest. Also, your capstone ability is pretty terrible. Your boots can never be destroyed? So what? Immune to aging effects? News flash; there ARE no aging effects in 3rd Edition unless you use 3PP. I would expand this to a normal 10-Level class and fix the BaB and save progression.

    Rating: 5/10. Wasn't bad, but poor mechanics and bad editing made it a chore to read.


    That's all for now. I'll keep going down the list later.

  23. - Top - End - #863
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    Default Re: GitP PrC Contest Chat Thread IV

    Quote Originally Posted by EdroGrimshell View Post
    *snip*
    Thanks. Corrected the table, that was a carryover error.

    Now for the Verdant.

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    I don't have the goodberry bracelet stats handy, but as I understand it it gives X berries per day which feed the eater and heal 1 point of damage? This will be my operating assumption.

    Requirements: The non-evil alignment doesn't really make sense for a nature-themed class. Any Neutral would make more sense, but really I don't see why there's an alignment restriction at all. Skills and Special requirements are logical and reasonable.

    Skills, HD, BAB, Saves, and Proficiencies:Use Rope and Know (Arcana) seem kinda off-topic. I can get the vines-ropes connection kinda, but the Verdant deals in nature magic, which is already included under Know (Nature).
    HD and BAB are in keeping with the expected Druid entry style, and the new restriction on metal armor makes sense for a nature caster. Keep in mind that this will hurt the ranger wishing to become verdant more than the druid.

    Goodberry Roots:Extends the use of the base item without adding anything new at first level. A good way to start with the class. For the individual options taken at each level, three things: first, that's a lot of options to have at the end. Instead you might consider first and every even or every odd level. The only prestige class I can think of that gets an option at every level for ten levels is Horizon Walker, and that's all of its class features.
    Second, I'm going to skip those options which I find to be satisfactory (minus the requested attention to Grim Harvest), in the interest of saving space. If it isn't mentioned here, I found nothing particularly wrong with it.
    Third, you might want to clarify whenever you say "expends a berry" whether that means just the berry used, or the berry used and an additional berry. You might try the phrasing "Causes a berry eaten" or "Instead of its normal effects".

    Nature Gift:1d6+1+Con is silly. Just make it 1d6+Con, plus 1d6+Con more for every odd numbered level. You lose out on 5 damage, yes, but it makes everything run smoother. Clarify what the splash damage is (1? Con? Full damage of the bomb?)

    Wild Gift: Make it +1 to increase the bonus/add a second bonus and +1 to increase the duration. That way they have the option of increasing the duration of an unupgraded Wild Gift. Consider a different name to further separate it from Nature Gift.

    Heartwood Resilience: Optional note: your class brings a lot of Fae traits to the character. Perhaps Cold Iron instead of Magic or Adamantine?

    Verdant Armory: Just make it all natural attacks, it won't be overpowered that way. And it will benefit Vines.

    Harvest: Move this above Harvest Potion in the order, so that the prereq shows up before the prereq-ee. Clarify what "enough damage" is.

    Thorns: I like it, but maybe it should require Goodberry Armor?

    Grim Harvest: That's 25 Berries to cast a level 5 spell, the highest level that doesn't risk con burn. You're losing 125 HP to cast the likes of Call Lightning Storm or Wall of Fire. I wouldn't take this ability unless I was gestalted with Barbarian and had a 22 or higher Con, myself. Maybe tone down the berry cost or backlash damage, or both, but limit it to Druid Spells. As it stands, the most powerful spell that doesn't require Con Damage is probably Slay Living or Dominate Person, and those are as mentioned 125 HP cost. A level 11 Cleric/Wizard could do those at no cost, more often than the Ardent's abilities would possibly allow.

    Ironwood Slam: Do these function as Two-Weapon Fighting for the purposes of iterative attacks? Does each of the Primary Slam Attacks get a Full Attack routine equal to the highest attack routine? Clarify how making full attacks works more explicitly.

    Class Advancement: Make sure it specifies a single base class. This is an odd thing, and not in keeping with most prestige classes (almost always it's some specific class feature, like spellcasting or sneak attack; exceptions generally are for monk-centric PrC), but if you want to have it, it definitely needs the limits of single and base class.

    Oak Body:Lovely. This is the sort of thing I look for as you Turn into a tree. The enhancement bonus is a nice balancing touch.

    Ironwood Resilience: Too much juice. I cite again the Dwarven Defender, who only reaches DR 6/-, and the Barbarian who only reaches 5/-. Cut it to 2 and five, or make it DR/Slashing (or even Cold Iron) and you're set.

    Regrowth: A nice ability that doesn't overwhelm any offense (except for Ironwood Resilience, mentioned above.

    Lord of the Orchard: What benefits does turning into a plant give? Does the Verdant gain the augmented subtype of their original type? In short, list here what changes and what stays the same as they become plant type. You don't have to mention things like Hold Person, but you should address sneak attack, poison, mind-affecting, sleep, paralysis, polymorph, stunned, and critical hits, all of which the plant type is normally immune to (and which would break a character in a defensive sense if he was immune to all of those things). Maybe make them immune to Sneak Attacks, Poison, and Sleep (both magical and otherwise), but leave them subject to Polymorph, Mind-affecting, critical hits, and stunning. Or pick your own choices. Point is they shouldn't get all of that benefit.


    Overall, a good start. Make your wording and mechanics consistent within the class, and of course finish up the sections you have "under construction" signs over. Fluff isn't really my critiquing forte, but you might give some more specific examples, and add a little more detail to places or people.
    Last edited by MoleMage; 2012-09-08 at 06:41 PM.
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  24. - Top - End - #864
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Default Re: GitP PrC Contest Chat Thread IV

    More Reviews.

    Third Class, Spheriod Oddity
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    I like the name; its different. You got me hooked in the opening description. Drop the bold, however. Its distracting and makes it painfully clear that you're going for a meme. I might drop the meme as well, actually. I don't like the description under Prerequisites; it feels like its talking down to the reader. You are the first person I've seen to cite anything, so kudos to you!

    You fall into the same trap that Weilder of the Dimensional Galley does. Your writing style is far too narrative. Don't use phrases like, "You get attached. Like, REALLY attached." I would never print that in a book. Use phrases like, "You become enthralled by the mysteries of your aberrant sphere, its scintillating light calling you ever closer to the Far Realms." That's much more interesting to read. You also use too much tongue in cheek for my tastes. Its not a good thing; players want options they can seriously consider. Why should they consider you when you won't take yourself seriously? That's why ErrantX usually disqualifies people who write joke Prestige Classes. As much as I like your idea and opening, I would disqualify you for the silliness if I were in his shoes.

    Give specific citations. Mark your creatures with things like daggers (†) and add a like saying "creatures or templates marked with a dagger ( † ) can be found in Wizard's of the Coast's Monster Manual 5, 3.5 Edition. You do not want to confuse those you are trying to write for and if most people don't know where to look for something, they're not going to look. Your writing also suffers from comma syndrome; make your sentences clear and to the point. Don't constantly weigh them down with an endless deluge of commas and semicolons. Abbreviating things (such as SLA for spell-like ability) makes you look lazy and if you publish the product, you run the risk of someone not knowing all of the wonderful abbreviations that have a tendency to spawn among a 'fandom'. Also, Realsian is not a real word. Do not pretend it is. It sounds terrible.

    For your capstone, you never describe what the creature's horrific form does or looks like. If you're going to make me obscure it with disguise self, I should at least get some benefits. As written, this is what the ability says, "You're ugly, so put this magical bag on your head forever."

    Rating: 5 / 10. It was interesting at first, but the lame puns and the tongue-in-cheek writing combined with an average class mechanically leads to an overall below-average rating. I wish you had kept with the strong introduction you had, before you got all silly.


    Fourth Class, Enigmatician
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    Cool name. Description is short, sweet, and to the point. I like it. Nice to see a citation for your new feat. If you are required to craft a wondrous item in order to take levels in this class, then why isn't Craft Wondrous Item a prerequisite? Your description of the puzzle box itself could use some cleaning up; you repeat yourself several times in the first paragraph alone. Since the puzzle box IS a wondrous item, why do you need the line, "just like a wondrous item."? That is redundant. The rules regarding the puzzle box are not written well; its like trying to solve a puzzle to understand them! You need to clean this up or you are not going to win, because no one will know what the hells your class does.

    Rating: 4/10. This seems like a cool class and I want to like it, but your lack of clear, concise wording makes it difficult to understand and as such I can't enjoy it.

  25. - Top - End - #865
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    Default Re: GitP PrC Contest Chat Thread IV

    Quote Originally Posted by MoleMage View Post
    Dancer of Blades
    Let's see...

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    Quote Originally Posted by MoleMage View Post
    ENTRY REQUIREMENTS
    Base Attack Bonus: +7
    Special: Must own a Dancing Weapon which they are proficient with
    Okay, but you might consider adding clause specifying what happens if/when they sell or lose all their dancing weapons.


    Quote Originally Posted by MoleMage View Post
    Bonded Weapon: A Dancer of Blades draws a bond to a specific Dancing Weapon. When he activates this weapon's Dancing property, the effect lasts for 2 additional rounds per Dancer of Blades level.

    A Dancer of Blades can bond to a new Dancing Weapon by practicing with the new weapon over the course of a full week. During this time, he must forgo the use of any other weapon.
    First, can you be bound to more than one dancing weapon at a time? If not you need to say so. Also, what does it mean, exactly, to "forgo the use of any other weapon"?

    Quote Originally Posted by MoleMage View Post
    Echoed Blade: Whenever a Dancer of Blades activates a Bonded Dancing Weapon, the memories of the weapon spring into his hand. He may as part of the activation gain a similar, identical weapon which appears faint or ghostlike, lasting as long as his. Echoed Blades sent to Dance last only for one round, and do not benefit from any feature or ability which would extend that effect. This weapon does not have the ability to hit ethereal creatures any better than the base weapon, despite its appearance.

    If his Bonded Weapon is Dancing and the Dancer's hands are free, he can create an Echoed Blade as a Swift Action.
    "lasting as long as his" what? Confused. Also, this might be written a bit clearer in general. Something like:
    So long as the dancer's bonded weapon is dancing and his hands are free, he can cause an echoed blade to appear as a swift action. An echoed blade is identical in all respects to his bonded weapon except that it can only dance for one round (this duration cannot be extended by any means), and appears faint or ghost like. The echoed blade lasts as long as his bonded blade continues to dance.
    Quote Originally Posted by MoleMage View Post
    Freed Blade: Dancers of Blades are more attuned to the magics that allow their Bonded Dancing Weapons to function. Their Bonded Dancing Weapons can operate from squares up to five feet per class level away from the Dancer. This does not allow Dancing Weapons to threaten, even the square they're dancing in.

    A Dancers of Blade's Dancing Weapon maintains its orientation to the Dancers of Blades, moving an equivalent amount whenever he moves. As a swift action, the Dancer of Blades can cause his weapon to adjust by up to five feet per Dancer of Blades level. A Bonded Weapon cannot make a full attack in the same turn in which it moves, either as it follows the Dancer or as the Dancer moves it.
    Needs to be clarified.

    Quote Originally Posted by MoleMage View Post
    Forced Opening:
    As a Full Round Action, the Dancer of Blades and his Bonded Weapon may each make a single melee attack against the same target. If both attacks hit, the target provokes an attack of opportunity from anyone threatening it, and is considered Flat-footed for any such attacks made.
    Looks good.

    Quote Originally Posted by MoleMage View Post
    Living Weapon:
    The Bonded Weapon takes on a semblance of life, allowing it to act almost completely independently. The Dancing Ability for a Bonded Weapon no longer ends until the Dancer of Blades chooses to end it. Furthermore, the Bonded Weapon threatens any square it can strike (including its own), and can flank. Bonded Weapons never gain precision damage such as Sneak Attacks, but they can allow allies to by flanking.
    The Dancer of Blades and his Bonded Weapons share attacks of opportunity per round. They gain an additional attack of opportunity per round by having this ability.
    So, this is really cool, but you need to clarify what "sharing attacks of opportunity per round" means.

    Quote Originally Posted by MoleMage View Post
    Dancing Weapon Tricks
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    Two Weapon Dancing:
    Your Bonded Weapon ability can now apply to a one-handed and a light off-hand weapon, provided both have the Dancing property. The Dancer may activate both weapons in a Bonded Weapon pair using the same action, and his Echoed Blade ability applies to both weapons in the bonded pair. These weapons all gain the benefit of any Two-Weapon Fighting feats you may have.

    Weapon Call:
    A Dancer with this ability may activate his Dancing Weapons as Move Action. This ability may be taken twice. The second time it is taken, the Dancer may activate Dancing Weapons as a Swift Action.

    Dancing Trip:
    Requires: Improved Trip
    Your Bonded Weapon may forgo its attacks for a round to give you a +4 bonus to trip attempts against a target it is capable of striking. Alternately, your Bonded Weapon may make trip attempts, and gains the benefits of any feats you have that improve trip attempts.
    If a Dancing Weapon would be tripped as a consequence of failing a trip attempt, it immediately stops dancing.

    Dancing Disarm
    Requires: Improved Disarm
    As Dancing Trip, but applies to Disarm attempts.

    Dancing Sunder
    Requires: Improved Sunder
    As Dancing Trip, but applies to Sunder attempts.

    Extra Bond
    A Dancer of Blades with this trick may bond to an additional Dancing Weapon. He may only have one active Bonded Weapon Dancing at any time, but can change between them with no need to go through the week-long bonding process.
    This ability can be taken multiple times. It allows the Dancer to have one additional weapon for each time it is taken.

    Dancing Defense
    Whenever the Dancer of Blades is armed and his Bonded Weapon is dancing in his square, he gains a Deflection Bonus to his Armor Class equal to the Weapon's Enhancement Bonus, and he cannot be flanked.

    Dancing Reflexes
    The Dancer of Blades gains the Combat Reflexes feat, even if he does not meet the prerequisites. He gains additional Attacks of Opportunity each round equal to the Enhancement Bonus of his Bonded Weapon, so long as the weapon is wielded or Dancing.
    These are not all that balanced against each other. I can't see any reason not to go with Dancing Reflexes and TWD or Dancing Trip. Also, check the disarm, trip, and sunder rules; you don't make disarm, trip, or sunder checks, you make opposed attack rolls, a touch attack and opposed Str/Dex rolls, or opposed attack rolls and a damage roll. As written DT, DS, and DD either don't work or do more than you probably intend.

    In General:
    I like it, but the wording needs to be cleaned up. In general, class and item names shouldn't be capitalized unless they're in a heading.


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  26. - Top - End - #866
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    Default Re: GitP PrC Contest Chat Thread IV

    Quote Originally Posted by Golden-Esque View Post
    More Reviews.
    Fourth Class, Enigmatician
    Thank you!

    Cool name. Description is short, sweet, and to the point. I like it. Nice to see a citation for your new feat. If you are required to craft a wondrous item in order to take levels in this class, then why isn't Craft Wondrous Item a prerequisite?
    Because originally this was a spellcasting class, and then I changed it to a noncaster class. I think I didn't do a good enough job cleaning up after the conversion, honestly...

    Your description of the puzzle box itself could use some cleaning up; you repeat yourself several times in the first paragraph alone. Since the puzzle box IS a wondrous item, why do you need the line, "just like a wondrous item."? That is redundant. The rules regarding the puzzle box are not written well; its like trying to solve a puzzle to understand them! You need to clean this up or you are not going to win, because no one will know what the hells your class does.
    Yes, I've been struggling with the confusing wording. I'll try a ground-up rewrite and see if that helps.

    Rating: 4/10. This seems like a cool class and I want to like it, but your lack of clear, concise wording makes it difficult to understand and as such I can't enjoy it.[/spoiler]
    I'm actually glad you had this reaction -- that means that if I can fix the known wording problem, I'll hopefully have a pretty good product!
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  27. - Top - End - #867
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    Default Re: GitP PrC Contest Chat Thread IV

    Double bubble double post!

    I've revamped the wording for the Puzzle Box stuff, I'd greatly appreciate it if someone could take a look and see if it's any more intuitive.
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  28. - Top - End - #868
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    Default Re: GitP PrC Contest Chat Thread IV

    Well it's been slow going since classes started but I'm getting closer to being done. Starting to run out of steam though, a little worried the finished product won't be as good as I hoped.

    Maybe after the contest I'll come back and rework it again.

    On the interim, I expect to have time to critique (some of?) the other classes this week!
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  29. - Top - End - #869
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    Default Re: GitP PrC Contest Chat Thread IV

    I've started re-working the class, which should be done in a few days.
    homebrew

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  30. - Top - End - #870
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    Default Re: GitP PrC Contest Chat Thread IV

    So the framework for my Monadic Templar is up! (conveniently bumping the contest back to page 1).
    Here's hoping I can finish it quicker than last time.

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