What if Real Life worked by RAW?

[Chess435]

I've heard discussions about applying Real Life Physics to D&D, but let's examine the flip side of the coin. What if you woke up one morning and realized that instead of the normal laws of reality, RAW was the guiding principle of the universe? (Would catgirls spontaneously reanimate? )

[IthroZada]

Cats would be kill on sight instead of pets.

[dextercorvia]

I'd trade in my RHD for a class level in a heartbeat.

[Xanmyral]

All scientist would suddenly be as strong as soldiers. Inversely, soldiers would be as skilled as those who focused in their profession.

As people get older, they get smarter, wiser, and more keen of eye and ear. Basically, the degeneration of the brain is reversed.

[OracleofWuffing]

Nobody would take a bath unless they were already dying.

[Honest Tiefling]

A utopia of no more alignment debates...Also, people would really respect religion. A lot.

[Bovine Colonel]

It'd be messy.

[Kalaska'Agathas]

Cats would be kill on sight instead of pets.

That or everyone would have ranks in Handle Animal. All Ambulances, (Para)Medics, etc. would carry a drowning bucket in order to bring people to 0 HP regardless of their current state. All conversations would take less than 6 seconds. Instantaneous travel would be viable, given sufficient Horses and riding ability. Instantaneous communication would be viable, given sufficient commoners. Also, since falling is a free action, acceleration due to gravity would be brutal.

Then we come to the question of "Does Magic exist?" If it does, then we've got even more fun stuff - gems like "Conservation of Mass/Energy? What's that?!"

I'd trade in my RHD for a class level in a heartbeat.

You and me both.

[Psyren]

I'd never sleep again As long as I'm not walking anywhere I won't get tired.

I'd also do my utmost to get PAO'ed into a Warforged.

@Drowning: What everyone forgets about "drowning to heal" is that once you start the process, nothing can stop it. Yeah you'll go to 0 hp in the first round, but the following round you go to negatives and the third you're dead. RAW, this happens no matter what is done to aid the victim.

[OracleofWuffing]

I'd also do my utmost to get PAO'ed into a Warforged.

I have not compiled a comprehensive "List of Races Into Which I Want to be Polymorphed," but I imagine I, too, would want to become a warforged at some point in time for a significantly long amount of time.

World hunger will be a lesser issue. I mean, don't get me wrong, even with the whole Create Food and Heroes Feast and whatnot, we'll still have some trouble getting food to where it needs to be until we set up the massive inter-commoner-railgun-net, but that's okay because you no longer die from hunger, you just get knocked unconscious.

...

"Decorating your prom with streamers" will take on an entirely different meaning.

Forget just about everything you know about economics.

[Honest Tiefling]

I'm not 100% sure I'd want to step foot near any place with potential strife if clerics, druids, sorcerers, or heck, pretty much any class are running around.

[Arbane]

Serial killers would quickly become unstoppable.

[Honest Tiefling]

Serial killers who level up to eventually do Locate City Bombs

[Laura Eternata]

Romance would be so much easier. "Hey, wanna go out for coffee sometime?" -rolls Diplomacy check- "Sure, that sounds like fun, Miss Whoeveryouare!"

[Honest Tiefling]

"In other news, yet another unemployed musician has been sighted entering the White House. He has been declared the Chief of Staff earlier this afternoon. The president has also declared the man to be officially 'awesome'."

[Larpus]

I would realize how much my build sucks.

[Chess435]

I wpuld immeadiately start taking levels in Wizard.

[Psyren]

I'd go with Psion. Bat poop is hard to find in this town, and the expensive components are even worse.

Plus, it's more fun to have powers if nobody knows you have them; just ask Xavier ^ ^

[Honest Tiefling]

Imagine how zoos would look. People would keep trying to climb into the tiger cage, not because they were drunk but because they wanted to level. Other people would just be looking at everything to wildshape into it later. Wizards would be constantly taking the bat-poop. There would have to be magic everywhere to stop people from mind controlling the animals and making their own army.

...I just imagined the idea of an evil druid with an army of dolphins. That's not good.

[Chess435]

Meh, bat poop is overrated. That's what spell component pouches are for. Speaking of which...........

[Honest Tiefling]

I would hope so. People are stealing metal already at pretty bad rates, no need to encourage them more because they get paid every time someone wants to do a sending.

Oh dear god, your mother using sending on you constantly to ask if you've given her grandchildren yet.

[Xanmyral]

I'd imagine that, unless you want to be stuck without spellcasting until you actually get the items, which for higher levels would be almost impossible I'd imagine unless you felt like spending hours, days, or even weeks finding the right item, people would take eschew materials. Would cost a feat, which would suck, but not having to handle all that random crap would save a lot of time.

[Dusk Eclipse]

Perpetual motion machines are just a Decanter of Endless Water away.

taking wizard levels? pfff, Three words for you (well actually one repeated) Pazuzu, Pazuzu, Pazuzu.

Hey, you said if RL worked by RAW

[HappyBlanket]

Horses. Hundreds of horses. Allllll in a row.

[Psyren]

Horses. Hundreds of horses. Allllll in a row.

Horse railgun? Wouldn't that kill you?

[Dvandemon]

We would rapidly achieve Singularity. Slavery would have probably involved Elementals. Wars would cross planes and there would probably be colonies and refugees on every other plane.

[Cespenar]

Pi equaling 4 would end in a whole crapload of mathematical, physical and other consequences.

[Slipperychicken]

3.5 would be hailed as the most realistic system ever, WoTC would recieve nobel prizes for such a perfect game. Running businesses would be impossible, and economics just wouldn't work. I would retrain one of my feats to Wedded to History.


EDIT: Not to mention every single Science being F***ed Up Beyond All Recognition. Life wouldn't even resemble what we know and love, Evolution would have resulted in some horrific mess of inherited templates like the Emerald Legion or something...

[HappyBlanket]

Horse railgun? Wouldn't that kill you?

Oh. Good point. Ahem: Bluff/Diplomacy check. Then horses. Hundreds of horses. Allllll in a row.

No. No it wouldn't kill me.
Why would it?

[Ksheep]

The first person to take the "Self Aware Player Character" PRC (from the 3rd party book Bride of the Portable Hole) would destroy the world by effectively dividing by zero.