List of Fun Cursed Items?

[Inevitability]

Why is thread necromancy considered to be a problem? It's not like reviving an old thread is hurting anybody.

Forum software is ill-adapted to handle threads from months ago suddenly returning to page one.

[P.F.]

...

Pretty sure this thread counts as "important" and can be raised from the dead an unlimited number of times.

My personal favorite cursed item is the Ring of Beaurocratic Wizardry. It functions as a normal ring of wizardry of its type, but when the wearer attempts to cast a spell while wearing the ring, he or she must fill out, sign, and date various forms regarding the spell to be cast, taking one round per spell level.

[Inevitability]

Pretty sure this thread counts as "important" and can be raised from the dead an unlimited number of times.

I fail to see where in the forum rules any exception is made for 'important' threads, let alone anything proving this thread is one of those.

[zergling.exe]

I fail to see where in the forum rules any exception is made for 'important' threads, let alone anything proving this thread is one of those.

The rules in fact state that the only time necromancy is acceptable is if you contact a mod to do it for you, or you are the OP of a homebrew thread.

[Inevitability]

The rules in fact state that the only time necromancy is acceptable is if you contact a mod to do it for you, or you are the OP of a homebrew thread.

Indeed, and I doubt this is either.

[P.F.]

Indeed, and I doubt this is either.

It's an informal corollary to the informal rule making "notable threads" immune to necromancy. Also I would courteously refer anyone interested to the policy on "doomsaying" and "vigilante modding".

On topic again, my favorite custom cursed item was called the

Bag of Unpleasantness
Anyone reaching into this small burlap sack feels several small prickly balls within. As a standard action, one of these balls may be drawn out and thrown up to ten feet, where it transforms into one or more creatures according to the table below. The monsters(s) so summoned immediately attack the nearest creature (other than each other). If no other creatures are available to attack, the summoned monsters instead rampage through the area, smashing, sundering, and vandalizing. After 1d6+6 rounds, the summoned creatures disappear.

d%	Monster Summoned
01-18	Entire band of hungry orcs
19-37	8th-Level Blackguard Frost Giant Jarl with a toothache
38-51	Pair of Half-Dragon Tyrannosaurus Rexes
52-65	Beholder
66-78	1d4+4 Dread Wraiths
79-88	Titanic Fiendish Rooster
89-97	Greater Stone Golem
98-00	Death Slaad

This item represents a bag of tricks corrupted by evil, as exemplified by the Death Slaad at the bottom of the chart. Note that the majority of these creatures are large or larger and will therefore start out adjacent to the user, meaning the user is almost always one of the nearest creatures and often immediately attacked by the summoned monster.

I used this item in an epic-level game where the only summons likely to affect the party were the beholder and the Slaad, but all offered cover, flanking, and various potential to sew chaos in social situations. In lower-level circumstances, the item is significantly more unpleasant.

[Inevitability]

It's an informal corollary to the informal rule making "notable threads" immune to necromancy. Also I would courteously refer anyone interested to the policy on "doomsaying" and "vigilante modding".

How is a thread with a bunch of links an informal rule saying 'those and certain other threads may be posted in even after the necromancy period has expired'?

[P.F.]

How is a thread with a bunch of links an informal rule saying 'those and certain other threads may be posted in even after the necromancy period has expired'?

It's an informal, unwritten rule. It came up in another important but unlisted thread just earlier this year The Something-Or-Other Handbook, maybe? The Necromancy Immunity Policy is also mentioned in passing in the [x] stat to [y] bonus thread, which is itself a listed Notable Thread.

[mudokon100]

Leave it be, arguing is spoiling a good resource. This thread is immortal it would seem, and that's not necessarily a bad thing. Anyway...

Figured I'd sign up and contribute, as this thread has helped out my creativity a lot. Only fair I try to return the favour.

I've had to create quite a few cursed items. I find making them from scratch way better than trying to generate them. Some examples of them include:
Babycrusher - A Brash Berserking Greatclub, making a Barbarian into a terrifying force. Unfortunately, it's real name is Baby Crusher. Entering a rage while using it reduces the wielder's hand size to tiny, and elevates their warcry pitch several notches, closer to an angry scream. Until dealt with by a Remove Curse, they now have "baby hands" and can only use tiny weapons, as well as penalties to any in-combat attempts at intimidation form their voice cracking. Note that the club shrinks when it triggers, so it is still a viable weapon for their new... limitations. There's nothing stopping this curse being applied to other weaponry, too.
Sadist's Assistant - A Rod of Whips. Works normally, but inflicts the compulsion to be used manually, preferably on a willing "friend". It won't activate if it wasn't used this way within 24 hours. As this action becomes more routine, the wielder will accept it as normal, and potentially even start to enjoy it. This action is, however, inherently evil in most settings and can start to have dubious effects on their alignment.
Bag of Returning Rocks - Similar to Loadstones, but a whole bag of them. Total weight is relatively insignificant at only 5lbs, but it's still a hit to weaker characters. The slight offset is that the stones function as ammunition for slings or throwing in a similar manner to shuriken, and are +1. The offset to the offset is that they come back. Straight to the face.
Launch Boots - If you jump, you get launched 30' high. Then you land on your butt, and it hurts. Standard "can't remove without remove curse" effect in place. Unfortunately, our guy with the Wings of Flying took these and has turned them into vertical take-off assistance, so that little trap got ruined (in the best way, of course).

Another thing I find great to play with is the idea of intelligent items being based on other entities. Anyone who's heard of Garg and Moonslicer will have an idea of what I mean. In our campaign. all intelligent items are made using a trapped soul or other intelligence, rather than simply being an "animated item that isn't animate". The items themselves are technically cursed by existence, instead of (normally) inflicting a specific curse on others.
So far, our party has an Amulet of Health formed using a Drider. Said Drider is currently ignoring them and refusing to help out. They also haven't properly identified her or tried communicating properly, so that hasn't helped. Soon, they will be acquiring a weapon formed using an Inevitable. One with reality and time warping powers. That'll end well, right?
Anyway, the point of this anecdote is that I've found giving magic items personalities based on creatures not only allows for easier persona and ability construction, but means that they can turn a lot nastier and it be easily explained, possibly even predicted. It puts the whole idea of "useful but with drawbacks" into a much more interactive setting, as they now don't simply have to contend with the occasional will save - if they do it can end up pissing off the item (as happened with our Drider), but can draw on their knowledge to try and appease it without having to have ego battles at all instead.

[Sam K]

By the time I realised this was a necroed thread, I had come up with ideas which I felt were funny enough that they warranted posting. Please don't ban me, I'm lonely :P I like the idea of cursed items that you CAN get rid off, but which offers enough benefit that you may not want to.

The NEW emperors new clothes

This appears to be a full set of clothing worthy of a king (or emperor), complete with a diadem or crown. When worn, it has the following effects:

The wearer appears naked to everyone observing them, except for themselves. The clothing still exists and protects you from the elements as usual, though.
The wearer receives a +20 enchantment bonus to bluff and diplomacy checks.

However, when the outfit is removed, fully or partially for over 30 seconds, anyone that was bluffed or persuaded while wearing it will immediately become convinced that they were lied to, deceived or persuaded into doing or believing something foolish. This happens even if the bluff or diplomacy was used to make the person do or believe something completely reasonable, or even beneficial. Their attitude changes to hostile, and you lose the enchantment bonus against them until you improve their attitude in some way (they still see you as naked though).

The clothing can be worn or removed at any time.

Designers note: instead of being clothing invisible to fools, this is invisible clothing that helps you fool people. It can also make a fool out of you. The apparent nudity can be embarassing (especially before you figure it out), but with the huge bonus to bluff or diplomacy you might actually get away with it ("Naked? Me? You must be imagining things!"). But if you start relying on it, you will quickly find yourself burning your bridges, leaving a trail of hostile people in your wake.

Helm of misalignment

This artifact was created by a long-forgotten trickster god. Legend has it that the trickster created the helm to teach mortals that personal relations where more important than blind obedience to gods and ideals. Further legends claim that this trick so angered the other gods that they destroyed the trickster. Though some whisper his greatest trick was fooling the world he doesn't exist...

This helm only works if worn by a character with levels in a class that requires him to belong to a specific alignment, for any other character it simply works as a mundane helm. When activated, the helm works like a helm of opposite alignment, without allowing any save or spell resistance. In addition, it has the following effects:

1. While the characters alignment changes, his feelings for specific individuals does not. A LG character who turns CE still cares about his old friends, though he likely sees them as misguided and will try to "convert" them.

The character does not suffer any loss of, or change to, class abilities as result of this alignment change or any
actions taken as part of it. A CG cleric that is turned LE still has a CG aura and still casts good and chaotic spells. He still turns undead instead of rebuking them. A LG paladin that turns CE does not fall from any CE acts. He doesn't become a blackguard or a paladin of slaughter, but keeps his paladin abilities despite acting in a distinctively non-paladin way.

This change can only be undone by a wish or miracle spell. However, once the curse is undone, the subject suffers the full effect of any actions they comitted while under the effect of the curse. A paladin that has comitted evil actions fall. Clerics can lose access to their spells. These abilities are re-gained as per the rules for the class. The helmet disapears if the curse is removed, to re-appear somewhere else in the multiverse.

Designers note: I like the help of opposite alignment, but it can seriously disrupt a campaign and break several characters. The helm of misalignment opens up some interesting opportunities. It's designed to make it possible to keep adventuring with the cursed party member, and opens up some interesting questions: does the party WANT to "fix" their cleric if they know it means they lose their divine caster for a while? Will they end up prefering the evil paladin to the good one?

[Thurbane]

In the spirit of the argument regarding thread necro above:

Pendant of Pedantry: +2 competence bonus on Int checks and Int based skill checks; -4 penalty on all Cha based checks and Cha based skill checks to interact with another creature.

It's an actual custom (joke) item in one of my campaigns.

[Nifft]

In the spirit of the argument regarding thread necro above:

Pendant of Pedantry: +2 competence bonus on Int checks and Int based skill checks; -4 penalty on all Cha based checks and Cha based skill checks to interact with another creature.

It's an actual custom (joke) item in one of my campaigns.

I'm totally stealing that, but the official item name will be The Pedant of Pendantry. (... and whosoever tries to "correct" this name shall be cursed.)

[Vox Silentii]

This one time i was creating a monk and got the chance to create my own magical item as long as it was mostly for flavor and didn't influence the combat in any way

So i created an eye band (think illidan) that lets me see the true alignment of everyone that i can see. But as soon as i put it on it made me blind and i could only see with it on.
While i was wearing it, it made everything black with white outlines and the alignment of everyone would be seen as colored clouds inside the person.
Red for Evil, Grey/White for Neutral and Blue for Good.
I wanted a blind monk but didn't want the drawbacks of being "actually" blind.

I created a medallion that speaks to the user, trying to get it to do evil things.
But the fun fact about it, is that the gem stone in the medallion was used as a seal between dimension. So when the father of the PC that had the medallion stole the gem stone, it tore open a dimensional portal that flooded the town with unspeakable evil. Think of it like tearing something from a piece of paper when he took it. A purplish portal grow from the tear and on came the slaughter.

The campaign didn't go on for very long so i didn't find anything magical about it other than it tries to make people do bad things.

[Bohandas]

How about something with a backward foresight effect which tells you if you were in danger, after the danger has either passed or revealed itself. Potentially slightly useful in some circumstances, if you cpincidentally choose to go down the non-trapped hallway instead of the trapped one it'll let you know the other one was trapped, but in an ambush it's just distracting and useless to be told during the combat that there were people waiting in the bushes, or if you do go down the trapped hallway it'll tell you after the fact that that flagstone was a pressure plate

[dboxcar]

I've been fleshing out a major cursed item as a sort of recurring villain for a while now.

Mask of the Mind Spider
.....This harlequin mask is blank, white, smooth, and unadorned. Its pale smirk seems to convey that it knows exactly what you're thinking. As you put the mask on and gaze out, your mouth curls into a smirk of your own.
.....When first donned, the mask allows the wearer to cast brain spider 1/day (brain spider allows the caster to target 8 creatures, reading their thoughts and even implanting suggestions; see Spell Compendium pg 38). As the wearer uses this power, they begin to notice razor-thin strings trailing from targets of the spell, who seem to move like marionettes. The wearer also gains a +5 enhancement bonus to Bluff, Diplomacy, and Sense Motive.
.....Unbeknownst to the wearer, the mask is intelligent, and malevolent. From the point the wearer first uses the mask's power, the mask can read all the wearer's thoughts and memories while worn. In addition, each subsequent time the wearer uses the brain spider ability the mask implants a suggestion in the wearer. The mask influences the user to secretively accumulate social capital and power, and to build a network of information and manipulation using the brain spider ability. Once this goal is on the way to being met, or if the user realizes that they are being manipulated, or attempts to be rid of the mask, they (the user) make a Will save.
.....If the user succeeds on the save, they realize that the mask is manipulating them. However, the mask attaches to their face and cannot be removed unless it is given to another willing individual (who need not know of the mask's powers). If the mask is successfully pawned off, memories of the mask's powers and negative qualities quickly fade from the old user's mind.
.....If the user fails the save, they are considered charmed by the mask, and refuse to take it off. The standard rules for removing cursed items now apply. The bonus to Bluff, Diplomacy, and Sense Motive increases to +10. In most social interaction people find nothing amiss with the presence of the mask, and think nothing of it. The brain spider ability can now be used 3/day, and the wearer willfully uses the power, scorning any who suggest that using the mask is wrong or that they are being manipulated. The mask can now communicate telepathically with the wearer, and continually justifies the more and more dubious acts the wearer is complicit in. As the mask gains more opportunities to implant suggestions, it forces the wearer to create a web of lies and conspiracy. The wearer justifies their actions however they can as they perform or orchestrate acts more and more heinous. Sucked deeper and deeper into their own lies and machinations, eventually the wearer can no longer deny that the mask is in control. Finally, the mask suggests the wearer commit an act so hideous as to be irredeemable. The wearer gets one last Will save.
.....If the wearer succeeds, it can pass the mask off to another (as above), except the new wearer must be integral in the mask's current web of lies, and is immediately affected by the mask's second stage. The old user's memories of the details of the web of lies grow fuzzy and indistinct, and they must make Will saves to take overt action against the mask (such as by alerting authorities, who are likely already caught up or disbelieving anyway).
.....If the wearer fails the save, the mask takes complete control, and the two are inseparable until the wearer's death (or until the mask grows tired of its host - see below). The wearer is permanently dominated by the mask as the Mind Spider's alien intelligence leeches into them, crushing their autonomy and pulling them fully into the roll of the perverse spider in the web of lies. The bonus to Bluff, Diplomacy, and Sense Motive increases to +15. The brain spider ability can be used at-will, and is to great effect. While deaths may have occurred earlier due to the web of lies, serial killings and grand conspiracies now begin to gestate, all traced back to the mask's influence. In day-to-day life, the wearer is treated by most as if there were no mask on their face at all, although it is clearly there to see. At this point, the wearer effectively is the Mind Spider; a villain who can see and tug at the marionette web of lies and manipulation they continually weave. If the Mind Spider grows tired of its host, it can transfer the mask to a new helpless body, leaving the original wearer dead with one final, irresistible suggestion. The new host immediately becomes the new Mind Spider - the mask cannot be stopped until the wearer is killed, and even then has the standard cursed item effect of being neigh-impossible to be rid of... unless it is pawned off to a willing new wearer.

[Bohandas]

Forum software is ill-adapted to handle threads from months ago suddenly returning to page one.

Please Explain.

[Jack_Simth]

Please Explain.

It's a matter of databases, indexes, and search optimization. *Most* people will be looking over the most recent page or two on top of any given forum. With that assumption, you can index and search the database underlying a forum with that in mind simply by indexing a "recent posts" query - and this one does. But there's an issue: Thread titles and tags are in the first post of the thread, not the last, and whenever anyone clicks on a thread, it has to load basically all of the posts in the thread (it only displays a limited number of a multiple page thread, but it still needs the counts to tell you how many pages, and thus must process them all to some degree)... and they're not indexed as cheaply (they defy the assumption that makes the index cheap). If one or two people are doing an archive delve and looking at threads on page 300, this isn't really a problem (there's only a few people doing it, the server has plenty of resources for that). When a thread from page 300 is suddenly on page one, however, you get hundreds (if not thousands) of people clicking on it. The server quickly becomes overwhelmed. It doesn't stop, it just starts slowing down.

[Bohandas]

So, in other words the threads are fragmented and not each stored as a single file?

[Sheogoroth]

Thought this thread looked familiar!
Man, I never wrote down some of those so I'm glad to see this again.

Gilded Armor of Righteous Justice
This armor is possessed by the spirit of a holy crusader.
Once per day, if the wearer is knocked unconscious or killed, the armor will come alive and continue the assault against the wearer's foes for ten rounds. Unfortunately, the armor only has control over itself, and will not bother to eject the wearer's body before using their limp limbs to beat the enemy, causing a great deal of damage to the dying wearer as their head flops loosely abound and their limp wrists are slammed repeatedly against the enemy.

Vorpal Dentures of the Poet
These Dentures provide a powerful bite attack but force the wearer to speak only in rhymes.

Phantomloose
This magic sword has the ability to release spirit from body. The downside to this is that any person slain will generally rise as a ghost or phantom and haunt the wielder.

[kulosle]

Singing Frog - This frog sings constantly whenever you and it are alone. It always manages to finish its song whenever another person is aware enough to notice the frog. At that moment the frog does nothing but croak like a normal frog. As soon as you are alone with it again, it sings.

the frog should also give you inspire courage equal to the number of party members you are missing.

[Jack_Simth]

So, in other words the threads are fragmented and not each stored as a single file?

Not what I said, but it'll be accurate that more than one file is involved (significantly more than one - most database implementations end up using quite a few). You appear to be missing several of the references needed for a proper explanation. It's missing background information, not missing intelligence, so that can be gotten around... it's just very time consuming (as an analogy, consider explaining a joke involving comic book superheros from two different continuities to someone who's not even familiar with the concept of a comic book superhero - they don't have the references, so before the joke can be gotten you need to set them down with several comics first). Is it OK if I just say "Yes, there's good reason from a technical standpoint for the 'no thread necromancy' rule"?

[JadeReguba]

I remember a cursed amulet that I made that would slowly "eat" the gold coins of any player equipping it. It gave a big bonus to alot of stuff. It took forever for them to figure it out. (They thought the party rogue was stealing their funds ) I had another magic item, an ioun stone, that when "equiped" acted like sovereign glue. Anything, except the ground, that would touch the player would become stuck fast. Anything that would touch anything else that was stuck to him would also become stuck. It got pretty funny when some guards came to "help" the party.

Katamari anyone?


Squeaky WarHammer +1 warhammer that squeaks like a squeaky toy on impact. High chance to attract local dogs to the area.

Amulet of Extra Wildshape An amulet for druids that grant 2 extra wildshapes per day. A random everyday action(such as sneezing, seeing an animal, waving to someone, etc. Dm's choice) will have a 25% chance of causing the druid to wildshape into a random animal, expending one use.(Dm's choice if it uses just the amulet's charges or the druid's natural ones as well.)


*Druid sneezes and becomes a porcupine* Bard "Ok, I know you can come off as a bit prickly sometimes but really?!"

[Malimar]

This is the thread that doesn't stay dead
Yes it comes back and back my friends
Some people started posting in it
Not knowing what it was
And they'll continue posting in it forever just because

[Segev]

This is the thread that doesn't stay dead
Yes it comes back and back my friends
Some people started posting in it
Not knowing what it was
And they'll continue posting in it forever just because

You thought the singing sword was bad, making stealthy kills impossible. Meet the ever-singing sword! It doesn’t stop, even when sheathed!


The lesser loadstone doesn’t actually weigh all that much, but it has pointy bits, and always appears in the shoe of the one cursed with it. Generally while he’s walking or running or trying something that requires reliability of tread.


The Shadow Golem seems oddly named, being made of stone and generally appearing to be in every way a stone golem. But once it has been claimed by an owner, it will do everything in its power to shadow his every movement. If it can’t keep up with him, it will calmly walk, unerringly, to his location to stand ten feet behind him, whereupon it will once again mimic his every motion. It will do everything it can to follow, demolishing terrain and buildings in its way. Even slowly beating the rock of the ground itself if it has no other way but to bash through it, however much time that takes. It has no regard for the safety of its “owner” in its efforts, and might cause collapses which are lethal to said person.

[Forum Staff]

Please don't post to threads where the last post was over 6 months ago.